What I Want 2 Do and How You Can Help

When I was a kid I listened to heavy metal. I can still remember the Twisted Sister video for their song "I Want to Rock." The father is yelling at his son, who he obviously feels is wasting his life, and asks the question,  "What do you want to do with your life?" The son yells, "I want to rock." This is what today is about, because my answer would be, "I WANT TO TALK!" Just a spoiler, I could really use your  help in my endeavors and will talk about how at the end of this.

FYI when I use the word  recovery it refers to those who have overcame struggles they have had with drinking/drugs, physical/sexual abuse, mental illnesses, eating disorders, cutting, bullying, losing faith and everything in between.

I want to use my past and present life as a way to enable BLiR to:

1. Steer people away from addiction and other life consuming issues
2. Let those who have been physically/sexually abused and/or struggle with mental illnesses know that they are not alone
3. Give hope to those who are struggling with issues that control their lives or the lives of people that they care about
4. Educate youth and young adults on the dangers of addiction
5. Make parents more aware of the dangers their children face and teach them how to have conversations with their children and what to be aware of
6. Share with those in the church what it means to be a Christian while discussing ways they can make an impact in their own communities
7. Remove the stigma those who struggle with addictions, trauma and mental illnesses face both from themselves and the community
8. Educate the community on the strength and power those in recovery have and the wonderful things they do to begin reducing the stigma

In order to do these things, BLiR has to be able to get out and share more. There are various ways to accomplish the goals above, and they are to complete the Better Life in Recovery documentary , complete writing the book entitled Spiritual Spackle and filing for non-profit status for Better Life in Recovery, Inc. Those 3 things will allow BLiR to really begin sharing the message of hope and recovery.

I know that I need to do this. I was built from the ground up to do this, and I am a little depressed currently because I feel that I am not making the type of impact that I need to be because I am not reaching my goals. I feel that I have been given a commission and a second chance and I am squandering it. This is where you can really help me if you are so inclined.

For starters, BLiR will be having a fundraiser at the end of Summer or the beginning of Fall. My wife will be putting this together, but I know that she needs help in multiple ways. She needs someone to help her plan the event. It will be for 50 people and we do not even know who those 50 people will be. It will consist of a meal, a discussion of what Better Life in Recovery, Inc purpose and vision are and a silent auction.

BLiR needs items donated for the silent auction. BLiR needs 45 attendees that can help us meet our goal of raising between $2,000-5,000. This money will pay for the event, help us file for nonprofit status and hopefully allow us to throw another BLiR event. BLiR also needs people to talk about and share the event once we have the date.

BLiR needs to finish the documentary. In order to do that, there is a need people who  have overcame struggles with drugs, alcohol, eating and abuse that are willing to share that story on camera. The need is currently for youth and young adults that are not Caucasian. If that is you or you know someone who is willing please let get a hold of me.

Finally, BLiR needs to have more events and I need to speak more. This can only be accomplished by me getting more opportunities. I speak in and at schools, events, seminars, trainings, churches, recovery groups, small groups, youth groups, city/school council meetings, etc. If you or someone you know has a venue that I could speak at or would like to partner with BLiR for a BLiR event, please contact me.

Addict = All or Nothing

I wanted to call this blog, "Addict, All In" but I figured that might be a trigger for any gamblers who read this. Instead, I decided to call it Addict = All or Nothing. I called it that because all or nothing is the definition that I believe describes most addicts. There is also a purpose to this blog. That is to understand some of what drives me, and hopefully by proxy anyone who has struggled with an addiction in one form or another can understand a little more about themselves.

I am an addict. We will just get that out of the way now. When I say that I am an addict you should probably know at least one thing about me; I have impulse control problems. I get an urge to act on whatever my addiction might be to and I do it. I live my life by the Nike slogan, "Just Do It!" I am not saying it is right, it is simply what I do.

Once I act upon it, I go places people should not go. In fact, I go plaed most people would never go. I do not act like most people. I push the envelope with all that I do. Whether it is drinking, drugging, eating, etc. I go all out. I have trouble stopping once I begin. To me that is the hallmark of an addict.

Sadly, I am seldom that way with positive things. I once heard a guy at an NA meeting say the only thing he never did over the top was work the steps. I found that funny but true. When it comes to a lot of things in my past life such as drugs, alcohol or sex I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it right now. The only times I practiced patience (patience = procrastination) was when it might have been a positive thing.

I think the reason that occurs is because we stop liking ourselves. We run out of self-esteem and/or hope. Subsequently we immerse ourselves in something that takes our focus off of us and is quite often highly dangerous either physically, emotionally or psychologically. Quite often it is all 3. From there we become stuck in a rut where escaping, numbing or shifting focus becomes our only recourse.

That is why we work through the 12 steps. We begin to regain our self-esteem and start to like ourselves again. We accept responsibility for the good and bad things that have happened to us and that we have done. We work through our  hurts, habits and hang-ups. We accept that there are things that we have allowed to consume our lives that were negative and we set up interventions and supports so that does not happen again.

Even after I have  had my spiritual awakening, I am not cured. It does not change the fact that I am all or nothing. I still have impulse control problems. I just have to learn to find positive things to pour myself in to. Some people use one of the anonymous programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, etc. Others find faith-based groups such as Celebrate Recovery or Living Free while others use SMART Recovery or Rational Recovery groups.

I am not going to knock any of the groups I just mentioned, because they have all helped others. The best recovery group is one that you go to. Find what you get the most out of and go. Then share the hope you find with others and go all out doing it. As an addict I have had to come up with a new motto for my life. Years ago it was the James Dean motto, "Live fast, die young and leave a good looking corpse."

Today my motto would be, "Finding a Better Life Exists" coupled with "Transforming Lives by Sharing Recovery." I also am partial to "From Dealing Dope to Dealing Hope." The bottom line is this, if you are living your life to not only be a better person from one day to the next but to help the people you come into contact with live better lives too, you are doing something right. If you aren't living your life that way, you are doing something wrong.

If you want to be an addict, get addicted to making yourself better and sharing your strength, experience and hope with all of those you come into contact with. Here is to going all in...........when it comes to building up the community around you!

BLiR Event Spring 2013: Brainstorming Session

Yesterday was the brainstorming session for the BLiR Spring BREAK event that will be held at New Life Church in March. I went in to the session with several goals for it. The first was to establish the date and time we will be having it. Then next was to talk about music, because we want to have several bands. Then we have the food issue to discuss, because kids need to eat. Next up was entertainment, games and things for the kids to do. Finally, we needed to talk about the money side of it. We need to have giveaways and prizes for games and just for the sheer joy of it!

Here is what we do. We have FREE food, FREE live music and FREE fun stuff to do. We play some games, give stuff away and have a couple of testimonies from people who have struggled with life consuming issues and overcame them. We share hope with those who may be struggling themselves and let them know that a better life exists and where that better life is found. Our aim to is to reach out to those who are hurting and lift them up. Below is what we are doing and what we need to make the event in March successful.

1. The BLiR event will be on the 15th of March from 6-10.
2. We are talking to several singers and bands in the area. 
3. Food we will talk to New Life Church about. We have the men's group that will be doing the grilling. Hopefully between the church and the women's group we can come up with the food. Thinking hot dogs, hamburgers, chips, condiments, sweets stuff, tea and lemonade.
4. We are talking about having several games. The ones for sure will be Minute to Win It, a Paper Rock Scissors Tournament and a Car Bash. 
5. Money is one of the major ones we have to work on.  

Now we look at the needs for the event. We are working on the bands, but if there is a youth groups band from a church in Springfield/Nixa/Ozark area that might play let me know. We will need food, the items listed above. If you would like to donate any food please let me know. The games we will take care of and I have several places to call for the car. If you have a personal contact please let me know. Now we get to the hard stuff.

We need things to have for prizes and giveaways. I would love to have gift cards to local restaurants and coffee shops.  Maybe gift cards for iTunes. We need a couple of big ticket items to give away, such as an XBox 360 Kinect or the new Nintendo Wii U. New CDs, preferably worship music. Also books, from student Bible's to study/inspirational books aimed at youth/young adults. Finally, we need cash for printing flyers, T-Shirts, hats and incidentals. If you can help with any of these things, please contact me. 

Finally, the most important needs for the event to run smoothly and do what it is intended to do. If you have any pastors, youth pastors, high school or college students and/or connections spread the word. Tweet this, Facebook about it, blog about it, copy off the flyers once they are available and put them up where ever you can. Then pray. Pray for this event to be able to reach those who are struggling and that it gives them the hope they need to overcome what they are dealing with in their lives.

Here is the link to the event on Facebook. If you are coming let us know: http://www.facebook.com/events/477488612314182/?fref=ts

Thanks for your support and prayers. We appreciate them!! Below is the promo for the BLiR event we did last Fall:

KickStarter Campaign Coming Up

It would appear that at the beginning of the year we will be unleashing a KickStarter campaign to raise money for the Better Life in Recovery documentary. The purpose of the documentary is to show people the struggles we all go through in life, the allure and lies of addictions and the power in recovery. It is our hope to share recovery with as many people as we can who are struggling with life consuming issues so that they may find hope.

We need to get this message out to as many people as possible. We want this documentary and a presentation filled with recovery and hope to be held in high schools, colleges, churches and communities every where. The more people are impacted by it, the less control life consuming issues will have in their lives.

We are discussing how life hurts people, whether it is from being bullied, sexually abused, physically abused, feeling alienated, being caught between two divorcing parents, being rejected, feeling fat or losing loved ones. We then look at how drugs, alcohol, cutting, eating disorders, anger, depression, promiscuity and trying to fit in are used as coping and numbing mechanisms that lead to botched suicide, overdose, jails, institutions and eventually early graves.

We show that there are better options available to us and recovery is possible. We use real people with real problems that have found real answers. The documentary strives to transform lives by sharing recovery. It is not a fable, for people are finding a better life exists in recovery and we aim to share that with as many people as possible.

This requires a lot of effort. There are a lot of expenses involved in shooting this documentary. There will be editing, designing of art (DVD, Movie Poster), sound sweetening, purchasing music for the documentary, traveling to film interviews, buying cameras so we no longer have to rent them, production of DVD's, advertising, entering film festivals and playing at any venue we can find in the hopes of reaching those who are struggling or who love people who are struggling.

Below are the tiers we are looking at using for the Kick Starter campaign. Let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions or advice before we begin the campaign in January. We need to raise $5,000 minimum to complete this but really need to get between $15,000-$20,000 in order to do this well. Anything over $20,000 will free us up to begin doing presentations in schools and colleges that cannot afford to pay.

1. $1 For those who are laid off, struggling themselves, working two jobs, saving up for car insurance or college all we ask is $1 and help us publicize the project by sharing it on facebook, twitter, e-mail, word of mouth and in your blogs.  For that you get our heartfelt gratitude as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains.
2. $5 A thank you e-mail for the help you have given us as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains.
3. $10 A huge thank you on our website, the thank you e-mail, as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains.
4. $25 A digital download, the thank you e-mail, a shout out on our website as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains.
5. $35 A Better Life in Recovery bumper sticker, the digital download, the thank you e-mail, a shout out on our website as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains.
6. $50 A limited edition Better Life in Recovery USB Flashdrive preloaded with the documentary, the thank you e-mail, a shout out on our website as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains.
7. $50 A limited edition Better Life in Recovery Embroidered hat, a digital download of the finished documentary, the thank you e-mail, a shout out on our website as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains.
8. $50 A limited edition Better Life in Recovery movie poster, a digital download of the finished documentary, the thank you e-mail, a shout out on our website as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains.
9. $50 A Better Life in Recovery T-Shirt, the bumper sticker, the digital download, the thank you e-mail, a shout out on our website as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains.
10. $75 A Pre-Release of the DVD when completed, the Better Life in Recovery T-Shirt, the bumper sticker, the digital download, the thank you e-mail, a shout out on our website as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains.
11. $100 A Special Edition DVD featuring the full interviews, A Pre-Release of the DVD when completed, the Better Life in Recovery T-Shirt, the bumper sticker, the digital download, the thank you e-mail, a shout out on our website as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains.
12. $200 2 Tickets to the premiere (transportation and lodging not included), A Special Edition DVD featuring the full interviews, A Pre-Release of the DVD when completed, the Better Life in Recovery T-Shirt, the bumper sticker, the digital download, the thank you e-mail, a shout out on our website as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains.
13. $250 Exclusive onscreen thank you featuring your name in the end credits, 2 Tickets to the premiere (transportation and lodging not included), A Special Edition DVD featuring the full interviews, A Pre-Release of the DVD when completed, the Better Life in Recovery T-Shirt, the bumper sticker, the digital download, the thank you e-mail, a shout out on our website as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains.
14. $500 The limited edition Embroidered hat, limited edition Better Life in Recovery USB Flashdrive preloaded with the documentary, limited edition movie poster, Exclusive onscreen thank you featuring your name in the end credits, 2 Tickets to the premiere (transportation and lodging not included), A Special Edition DVD featuring the full interviews, A Pre-Release of the DVD when completed, the Better Life in Recovery T-Shirt, the bumper sticker, the digital download, the thank you e-mail, a shout out on our website as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains.
15. $750 2 Tickets to pre-premiere dinner, 2 Tickets to the premiere (transportation and lodging not included), the limited edition Embroidered hat, limited edition Better Life in Recovery USB Flashdrive preloaded with the documentary, limited edition movie poster, Exclusive onscreen thank you featuring your name in the end credits, A Special Edition DVD featuring the full interviews, A Pre-Release of the DVD when completed, the Better Life in Recovery T-Shirt, the bumper sticker, the digital download, the thank you e-mail, a shout out on our website as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains
16. $1000 I will come and screen the documentary at a venue you provide, complete with a presentation on the dangers of addiction and the power of recovery followed by a question and answer session. The presentation will be suitable at any venue: schools, colleges, churches, community events, forums, seminars and even your house (provided you cover all of my travel and lodging expenses).
17. $2500 At the beginning of the documentary, have an in memory credit for a loved one who lost their life due to an addiction or life consuming issue, plus 2 Tickets to pre-premiere dinner, 2 Tickets to the premiere (transportation and lodging not included), the limited edition Embroidered hat, limited edition Better Life in Recovery USB Flashdrive preloaded with the documentary, limited edition movie poster, Exclusive onscreen thank you featuring your name in the end credits, A Special Edition DVD featuring the full interviews, A Pre-Release of the DVD when completed, the Better Life in Recovery T-Shirt, the bumper sticker, the digital download, the thank you e-mail, a shout out on our website as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains.. (ONLY 5 AVAILABLE)
18. $2500 An Associate Producer credit on the documentary, plus 2 Tickets to pre-premiere dinner, 2 Tickets to the premiere (transportation and lodging not included), the limited edition Embroidered hat, limited edition Better Life in Recovery USB Flashdrive preloaded with the documentary, limited edition movie poster, Exclusive onscreen thank you featuring your name in the end credits, A Special Edition DVD featuring the full interviews, A Pre-Release of the DVD when completed, the Better Life in Recovery T-Shirt, the bumper sticker, the digital download, the thank you e-mail, a shout out on our website as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains. (ONLY 2 AVAILABLE)
19. $5000 An Executive Producer credit on the documentary, plus 2 Tickets to pre-premiere dinner, 2 Tickets to the premiere (transportation and lodging not included), the limited edition Embroidered hat, limited edition Better Life in Recovery USB Flashdrive preloaded with the documentary, limited edition movie poster, Exclusive onscreen thank you featuring your name in the end credits, A Special Edition DVD featuring the full interviews, A Pre-Release of the DVD when completed, the Better Life in Recovery T-Shirt, the bumper sticker, the digital download, the thank you e-mail, a shout out on our website as well as the sincere thanks from people who are struggling with life consuming issues and need to hear the hope of recovery this documentary contains. (ONLY 1 AVAILABLE)

Here is the trailer for the first couple of people that we filmed for the documentary:

Why I Hate Addiction or These are a Few of my Least Favorite Things

I can honestly say that there are very few things that I hate. I will give you a list and you tell me what is the #1 thing that you cannot stand:

1. Murder
2. Child Abuse
3. Child Molestation
4. Animal Cruelty
5. Drugs/Alcohol
6. Rape
7. Domestic Violence

The top of my extremely short list would sit drugs/alcohol as the reigning king. "Why not child abuse or child molestation at the top of your list, David?" The same reason that animal cruelty, murder, rape and domestic abuse are not at the top. Drugs and alcohol are the top correlations in all of the above instances. If you look at the majority of child abuse/molestation cases, rapes, murders, domestic violence and animal cruelty you are more than likely going to see drugs and alcohol are in the mix!

That said, they do not cause the situations to happen. They are more like throwing gasoline on a fire. The gasoline is not the cause of the fire, but it causes it to get much worse. When you add alcohol and drugs to an already volatile situation or unstable person, you are just making a bad situation 100 times more dangerous. You are just asking for trouble. All you have to do is look at the news. You will see the problems.

The reason why I am at this point today is I have had a rough past couple of months. I have had a friend that was on the Dr Phil show yesterday that is really struggling and on the verge of death. I had a friend overdose and die, an accountability partner who has decided that he can start drinking again, a friend I grew up with that is in intensive care and has been for several weeks after she relapsed and the guy she was with wrecked a car then left her for dead in a field. To add insult to injury, he left the accident and went back to her house where he cooked a batch of dope then robbed her.

In the news we have a man on mushrooms ripping out his friends heart and tongue. Locally we have a 47 year old male recently released from prison on drug charges linked to a 15 year old female who was found in a lake. We have a 17 year old found with his throat slashed by another teenage male because he believed he was a snitch and he wanted his little brother to see someone die. This is crazy stuff happening. Addiction is EVIL!!!!

Yet, it is so alluring. I have hurts and things that have been done to me that are horrific. I have done things myself that I can't forgive myself for. Because of this I have no self-esteem, self-confidence or hope. I feel that I am all alone, and the only thing that I can depend on is my new God, fill in your addiction here. It numbs me, gives me confidence, helps me forget and is always there for me. But then I come down or sober up, and the pain is still there so I have to use again.

In order to stop the cycle, we have to do something. We have to find something that works, to replace our addiction. We cannot overcome anything by admitting it is not there. In order to effect change, there are 5 things we must add and 2 things we must remove from our lives:

1. Higher Power - I need to find a power greater than myself to help me overcome what I cannot overcome on my own
2. Recovery Meetings - I need to know that I am not alone and hear others stories of recovery to help me realize that we do get better. Great place to find hope!
3. Step Work (Book of James) - We must have some kind of game plan to overcome our addictive behaviors and old lifestyle
4. Sponsor (Mentor) - We need someone who is living their life the way we want to live ours that can help us begin putting step 3 into action
5. Accountability Partners - Birds of a feather flock together. If I want to live my life better, I need to surround myself with people who are living their lives well.
6. Old Playgrounds - You can't stay clean if your standing in the mud. If you hang out in bars or where drugs are readily available, the question stops being "Will you relapse" and becomes "When will you relapse."
7. Old Playmates - If I continue to hang out with people who are living in addictions and engaging in criminal behaviors, I too will eventually go back to my old behaviors too.

Remember, your addiction is in the back of your head. It is lifting weights, running on a treadmill and on the computer doing research. It is getting stronger and smarter every day, looking for a way to take back over your life. YOUR ADDICTION NEVER TAKES A DAY OFF!! In order to remain in recovery, you need to do recovery oriented things every day. Go to a meeting, associate with positive people, talk to your sponsor, work the steps, read a daily devotional (the Bible, Just for Today). 

I HAVE YET TO MEET A PERSON THAT WAS DOING ALL 7 OF THE ABOVE THINGS THAT RELAPSED! AS NIKE SAYS, "JUST DO IT!" REMEMBER, YOU'RE WORTH IT!!!

BLiR VLog From 09/23/2012-09/29/2012

09/23 Why I Like Triggers (and So Should You)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zT0uaSs0mE

09/24 Progress Not Perfection

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikclmsaxLJo

09/25 You Love Me Anyway

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdBfep-RV6Y

09/26 What is the Best Recovery Meeting to Attend?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAo7RpMzHLU

09/27 Finding Balance in Your Life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reooGV1WCVU

09/28 Overcoming Resistance to Attending Recovery Meetings

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8rdbdHMVw8

09/29 Losing Weight/My Temple is a Shack

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wX-VZLs6Xf8

What Are Works AKA The Beatitudes

Last week we looked at James 2:26 where James says, "As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead." This is in direct conflict with Paul, who in Ephesians 2:8-9 says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it it the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast." We decided that both of these scriptures were valid because works are not the CAUSE of salvation, but the EVIDENCE of salvation. With that in mind, we ended by asking, "What are works?"

For starters, let's drop the word works and replace it with evidence of salvation. The evidence of salvation can be summarized by Jesus in Matthew 5:3-12:

Blessed are the poor in spirit,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven

Blessed are those who mourn,

for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,

for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful,

for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart,

for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,

for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely

say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad,

because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they 

persecuted the prophets who were before you.

So what do all of those verses mean? In verse 3 Jesus says blessed are the poor in spirit. This is simply a way to say humble. Humility is realizing that everything you have and everything you are is no more than gifts from God. We have been blessed by Grace through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. We should be open to doing the will of God and not our own will. Maybe Obama was on to something when he said, "If you've been successful, you didn't get there on your own." At least, that is what Jesus is saying in verse 3. Those who realize that their life is no more than a gift from God will be given the kingdom of heaven. 

In verse 4, those who mourn refers to those who appreciate the gift of life and the sacrifice Christ made on their behalf and due to that abhor the sin they see in themselves and in the world around them. It says that those who mourn will be comforted, and that is why God has sent the Holy Spirit, to help console us and guide is. 

In verse 5, the meek are those of us who submit our will to God and allow the Holy Spirit to guide us. It is those of us who are kind and show love to thosewe encounter, even in the face of adversity. Those who hunger in verse 6 are those who truly try to live our lives as Christ did. We hunger for the Spirit, and if we ask we shall be filled with the Spirit. 

In verse 7 Jesus mentions the merciful, who are those that show others compassion, love and forgiveness. Those who show mercy to others will be shown mercy by God. IF we forgive others of their trespasses as mentioned in the Lord's Prayer, then our sins too shall be forgiven. The pure of heart mentioned in verse 8 are those who act purely for the benefit of those around them with no selfish intent. Being altruistic is what we should be striving for. 

Verse 9 says blessed are the peacemakers, which are those of us who live our lives at peace with others. More than that, it is those of us who also try to create peace, friendship and goodwill  in the lives of others as well. 

In verses 10-12, Jesus looks at those who are persecuted because of their righteousness. This is not only those who are physically attacked by others because of their faith. It is also those who are ostracized by those around them because they are different. It is the kid who is made fun of for not drinking, for not joining in the ridiculing of another student or for being a virgin. It is the employee who is not invited into the conversation because they refuse to gossip about other coworkers or is not invited out after work because they don't drink, smoke and/or laugh at the raunchy jokes. 

Too many Christians try to blend in and fly under the radar. We read the same dirty books and watch the same movies. We see nothing wrong with reading 50 Shades of Grey or watching soft core pornography. We listen to the same music as those around us. These are movies, television shows and music that glorifies: pre-marital sex, drugs, drinking, partying, anger, gossip, adultery, hate, hustling and committing crimes. We take in the same garbage that those around us take in. Remember, garbage in garbage out. If we feed on sin through our senses, then sin is sure to come out in our speech and actions!

Jesus says in John 15 that they will hate us as they hated him, yet all we do is try not to offend those around us by showing we are different.  Jesus has let us know that if we live our lives timid in faith, that our faith is dead. If we are embarrassed of Him, He will be embarrassed by us. If we try to blend in with the rest of the world, then we will gain the same gift as the rest of the world. Don't kid yourself, Matthew 7:14 says that "Narrow is the path" to will lead us to salvation. If we continue to live our lives as the world around us, we are sure to gain the same eternity that they will. 

I beg you, choose life! This is done by applying the beatitudes in our lives. This can be a difficult and seemingly impossible task. After all, Satan attacks us at every corner. In order to live our lives well and try to live the beatitudes, we need to equip ourselves to be successful. This can be done by donning the armor of God, which we will talk about next week. 

BLiR VLog From 09/16/2012-09/22/2012

09/16 Greatest Trick the Devil Ever Pulled

09/17 The Bigger Picture AKA The Sistine Chapel

09/18 People Who Matter Don't Judge, People Who Judge Don't Matter

09/19 The New Golden Rule

09/20 Faith Without Works is Dead

09/21 Will I Die Before They Are Grown

09/22 My Passion May Not Be Your Passion

The Locker Room

Today I want to introduce you to a sports themed blog. I am big on using analogies because I have found that they are easy to understand. It has also been my experience that most people I talk to understand sports analogies. Due to those reasons, we are going to talk about everybody's lives. This applies to "normies" and addicts. I believe that we all have basic needs in order to live our lives well.

"What do we need?"

Glad you asked! First we need to realize that our lives are very much like a game. This game is serious. In Monopoly, when you land on Go to Jail! you do not pass go, you do not collect $200 and you go directly to jail. That is only a game though, you are not really in jail. In this game, when you go to jail, you sit in jail. You are in a 5 foot by 9 foot cell and you talk to people through Plexiglas windows. This game is real, it is for keeps. When we play games and lose, we get to play another game. If we lose this game, the eternal outcome is dire!

Ephesians 6:10-12 of The Message Bible says, "God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels."

So in order to play this game and win, we have to do several things. The first thing we must do is pick a team. In my past I was on Satan's team. I made choices in my addiction and actions in the lifestyle I led that showed whose team I was on. We choose the team, as C.S. Lewis alluded to in this quote, "There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, in the end, 'Thy will be done.' 

We need to realize that the game of life we play is for keeps, it's for eternity. If you make the wrong moves in this game and the game ends, you go south. Deep south! I hear that it is really warm there, all of the time! If you make the right moves, you get to go North! I hear that it is amazing there, and I can't wait to go home!

We get to choose whether we are on the Devil's team or God's. I have chosen playing for Christ. Christ can give us the power to do what needs to be done in life. Phillipians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." Once we get on that team, we will have other needs if we are to be successful. 

First and foremost, we need a great group of coaches. These are the people that will direct our steps. They will teach us how to win the game that we are playing. That game is life, and the coaches we use are also known as pastors (lead, associate and youth) as well as mentors. In the world of addiction recovery the mentor is known as a sponsor. This is a very important position to fill. We can only be as good as our coach. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

Most of us are babies in our faith, and we need those who are more mature to educate and guide us as we grow in our faith. We may have the heart for faith, but we do not yet have the skills needed. We need to get down the intricacies of trying to live Christ-like. There is a lot to, and it takes more than just a great coach. We also need to learn the plays, and that requires us having a chance to review them not just with our coach, but when we go away from our coaches, also. Where do we get these plays?

As a Christian, my play book is the Bible. I know that there are a lot of good plays in there. It is a diagram for how we are to live our lives. It may have been written by men, but it was inspired by God. 2 Timothy 3:16,17 says, "All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." Our coaches teach us how to run the correct plays, but we have to know the play book well to play the game. In order to successfully run the game winning plays we have more needs.

Any great team has more than one good player. A shining example is the perfect game in baseball. This year (2012) we have had three perfect games pitched. That means 27 batters came to bat and none of them got on base in each game. This is a feat that takes a pitcher playing his "A" game. It also is the rest of the team playing great, too. The catcher has to catch every pitch and not let any third strikes get past him. If a called third strike  goes by him, batter gets on base and the perfect game is lost. In one of the games, there were 9 strike outs and in the other there were 14. That means that the ball was hit into play 31 times, and that the defense made no errors. It took the entire team, if your team mates are having problems, so do you. If you are flowing together, than you are doing great.

So, who are your team mates. We need accountability partners in order to win at the game we call life. No matter how good we feel we are doing, we still need the team mates to help us be better. We are born to sin, so that is our nature. By ourselves we are weak, while together we are strong. In Ecclesiastes 4:9,12 the Bible says, "Two are better than one, Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

When it comes to our accountability partners, we have to surround ourselves with other positive, encouraging, Christ-like people. If you look at the greats, they all had team mates that were great also. Michael Jordan had Scottie Pippen and Joe Montana had Jerry Rice. Pick your team mates wisely. I think of my accountability partners as friends. They are friends that I have talked to honestly about my struggles. If I miss a recovery meeting, small group or church they call me and let me know that I was missed and ask if I am doing okay. If they see my attitude starting to get negative they will call me out. I have given them permission. After all, "as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another (Proverbs 27:17)."

Now you need to get your team together and have practices. Practice is a way we get to know the plays in the play book better and prepare ourselves better for the game. We have our team mates practice with us and this allows for our bond and respect to deepen and grow. For practice, we have small groups. Small groups are great ways for us to build deeper and stronger relationships with others who we have commonalities with. We may use youth groups, apologetics groups, recovery groups, support groups, etc.

Hebrews 10:25 says, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and god deeds, not giving up meeting together, but encouraging one another." We are to be there for each other. We are to build each other up. There is no better place for us to do these than small groups. It also allows us to do things we would not normally do while receiving support from others who we know and hopefully trust. 

Before we start playing the game, and again at half time we get good sound advice from our coach. He talks to us and our team mates, using the play book to get us prepared for the game. This is an important time, but it is what it is. The looker room is where we learn and prepare, but it is not what is important. What is important is how we play in the game. If I have a great play book and a great coach but I do not perform on the field/court I will lose the game. What does this mean and what is our locker room?

Our locker room is church. This means that church is of import, but what we do outside of church is what truly matters. You can attend twice a week, sit in the front row, raise your hands in worship and tithe faithfully. You can say all of the right things and even have the Bible memorized. That is not important. I once heard a pastor say, "Sitting in church no more makes you a Christian than me standing in my garage makes me a car." We need to be Christian outside of church!

What does it mean to be Christian outside of church? It means that we look different from everyone else. When everyone starts cussing or telling offensive jokes, you let them know that you don't appreciate it. If they continue, you walk away. We need to remember what our ministry is. The pastor, his ministry is inside of the church. Where is yours? It could be at the junior high, high school or college you go to. It could be at your job, whether you are a maid, attorney or work in a restaurant.

You could be the best listener and loudest singer in church, but in the end it will all be for naught! The Bible says it best in James 2:26, "Faith without works is dead!" We need to apply what we learn, simply knowing isn't enough! If we are not in the locker room, we do not learn what we need in order to defeat Satan and stay steadfast and true in this sinful world.

Now we are ready to play the game. We have chosen a team, listened to our coach, learned the play book, practiced with our team mates and gotten pumped up for the game. We know what we need to do and how to do it. We get out there and begin playing. At first we are doing great, but we begin to wear down and the other team begins to take a lead. We are making mistakes that could cost us the game. We call a quick time out, because our team needs to get pumped back up. We need to talk our strategy over, so we get into the huddle.

The huddle is how we get our strength and courage back in the middle of the game. This is prayer time. Ephesians 16:18 says, "In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out." We not only pray for ourselves, but for our brothers and sisters. We need to lift not only our own spirits but the spirits of our team mates as well!

Now that we have our game plan all in order, it is time for us to begin really making an effort to stand out. I don't want to be an okay or average player at the game of life. In fact, we are told not to be average players. In Matthew 5:14-16 it says, "You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."

In order to do this, we must be prepared and the way to do that is to apply the things mentioned above and ask yourself 4 questions:

1. Is my life lived to fulfill my wants and needs or do I focus on living for Christ?
2. Am I ashamed of my faith, or do I share it with everyone that will listen?
3. Do I live as one that is OF this world or one that is only IN this world?
4. Is my life a living testament to God?

BLiR VLog From 09/02/2012-09/08/2012

Do Your Works Match Your Words

 

Is Relapse Part of Recovery

 

Walk the Walk

 

Keep Coming Back

 

The 5 Pillars of Recovery

 

The Garbage Theory

 

BLiR VLog from 08/26/2012 - 09/01/2012

08/26 GIGO or Garbage In Garbage Out

08/27  Why Christ is My Higher Power

08/28 Living to Your Potential

08/29  Eternally Optimistic

08/30 What is BLiR and More Information on the Upcoming Event

08/31 Why I am Grateful for My Addiction

09/01 Alcohol is a Drug, Period

BLiR VLog 08/12/2012 - 08/18/2012

08/12 Forgiveness and Resentments

08/13 Rambling About My New Daughter

Cross Addiction or I Didn't Cheat.........We Only Made Out

So as I talked to clients about cross addiction last week and some things occurred to me. Cross addiction is pretty sneaky, as is our addiction.......period. It is why we say addiction is cunning, baffling and strong. My addiction is in the back of my head: running on a treadmill, lifting weights and doing research on the computer trying to figure out how to get back back into the front of my head where it was before.

My addiction does not like to be an occasional desire I struggle with. My addiction was much happier when it was a compulsion and I always gave in. It liked to be an obsession that I constantly battled. Now that it is not in the forefront but on the back burner it constantly looks for ways to get me to crack the door. If I open the door just a smidgen, then my addiction can kick it off the hinges and invade my life again. It is not content to be a passing whimsy I have on rare occasions, it wants total control. It wants to be the only god that I worship.

There are many ways that my addiction hits me head on. I may walk by a car at Wal-Mart and see someone snorting a line. I may see someone shooting up in the car next to me at a red light, like one of my friends did last weekend. It may even use a movie where it shows me how much fun drugs are, or music that glorifies partying and drug dealing. Next it uses a television show that tries to depict how evil drugs are by showing how they have negatively impacted someones life. To get the point across, it shows them shooting up. FYI, seeing the register is the biggest trigger I know. Stop showing it!!

Those are all very in your face triggers. That is the strong side of our addiction. That is why my addiction is on the treadmill and lifts weights. But my addiction has another side. It is the cunning side, the one that sneaks up on me like a ninja then whacks me with one of his weapons. One of the main weapons in the addiction arsenal is cross addiction. So what is cross addiction?

Cross addiction is simply us finding a replacement for something we were once addicted to. Say we quit using drugs, bet we begin binge eating. Maybe we used to be an alcoholic and we have stopped drinking, but started smoking marijuana. Our addictions range from drugs to alcohol to food to sex to shopping to shoplifting to chaos and everything in between. When I quit doing drugs, I began drinking. If you fast forward to several years down the road, I would wake up with the shakes at 5 in the morning and have to drink to get the shakes to stop so I could go back to bed. But I could justify it.

You know, alcohol is legal so I am not doing anything wrong. In fact, I can control my drinking sometimes. I could never control my drugs. That was how it started. Alcohol lulled me to sleep. It snuck up on me, then clobbered me on the head. It allowed me to put myself in a very uncomfortable situation, then it took advantage of me.

Here I am in a relationship with sobriety. I was not in recovery yet, but I was sober. I cheated on my sobriety with alcohol, but I could justify it. Imagine you are in a relationship. You go out with another person, but you justify it to your partner. "Are you seriously jealous? All we did was held hands and talked. Okay, me might have kissed a couple of times. What's the big deal? All we did was make out. It's not like we had sex!"

That is what I did when I started drinking. I did not see it as a problem at first. It was harmless. We just sat on the couch and talked. But over time, the relationship deepened and I needed to take it further and further. It advanced from talking, to hugging, to kissing to sex. I need to remember that if I am truly in a relationship, cheating is cheating. It does not matter if it is a kiss or sex, one is as bad as the other. Same is true with sobriety.

A relapse is a relapse, whether it is your drug of choice or not. That is like justifying cheating by saying, "We might have slept together, but I don't even like her." So you risked losing your recovery for something you didn't even like? That is the least thought out reason I have ever heard of. Instead of finding ways to cheat, say no. IF YOU HAVE TO HAVE IT, YOU PROBABLY DON'T NEED IT. Cheating is cheating. I would not accept it from my wife, and I will not accept it for my recovery. Neither should you!

BLiR VLog 08/11 Should I Tell My Kids I Used Drugs/Drank

This time I talk about whether or not we should tell our kids we have used drugs and/or drank

BLiR VLog 08/10 Will I Ever Be Normal Again

A frequently asked question from addicts is will I ever be normal again. Here I answer that question as I use cucumbers and pickles to make my point.

BLiR VLog 08/09 Question About Using Dreams

Today I answer a question about using dreams that one of my viewers has asked.

BLiR VLog 08/07 Difference Between Recovery and Sobriety

BLiR VLog 08/08 You Never Have to Use Again

My very first VLog script and VLog

Hi, my name is David. I am going to be starting a vlog. One of my friends told me that he thought it would be a good idea, and after thinking about it I agree with him. I talk in colleges, schools, churches and communities about the dangers of addiction and the power of recovery. I often have people call me, email me, tweet me or talk to me in public with questions about the struggles either they or someone they care about are going through and what they can do to help them, or sometimes just understand what they are going through. I think that I am a great person to answer those questions. Here are the reasons why i am a great person to answer those questions. I was abused as a child and started fighting as well as using drugs and alcohol as a way to cope. I eventually ended up in prison after being on probation, house arrest and in and out of jail for several years. I have used drugs IV and was involved in the manufacturing and distribution of meth as well as many other drugs. I am diagnosed Bipolar, PTSD, generalized anxiety, antisocial personality disorder. I have attempted suicide and have died and been brought back 6 times after overdoses and car accidents. I cannot count on two hands the number of friends that I have lost to addiction. I now have 3 1/2 years of what I consider true recovery. I have a bachelors degree in psychology and sociology. I have a masters degree in social work and I work at a substance abuse facililty and drug court as a counselor. I am starting a nonprofit to go into communities and schools to let people know that there is a better life in recovery. So in this vlog I will talk about the things that have helped me in recovery as well as the things that have enabled me to go from an agnostic to a Christian and how God has changed my life in ways that I can only attempt to share. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them. Put them on facebook, tweet me, email me or use the comments on youtube. I will answer all questions in a vlog for you if they are asked. I hope that you find this helpful, as I know sharing my faith and recovery will be helpful for me.

The Locker Room (Sermon Outline for Youth 07/26)

THE LOCKER ROOM

THE GAME

LIFE

Ephesians 6:10-12 - This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.”

NEEDS

1.       TEAM

2.       COACH

3.       TEAM MATES

4.       PLAY BOOK

5.       HUDDLE

6.       PRACTICE

7.       LOCKER ROOM

TEAM

C.S. LEWIS, "There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, in the end, 'Thy will be done.'

THE WINNING TEAM = CHRIST

Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

COACH

MENTOR and PASTORS

Proverbs 22:6 - "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

TEAM MATES

ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER

Ecclesiastes 4:9,12 - Two are better than one, Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

PLAY BOOK

THE BIBLE

2 Timothy 3:16-17 -  All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work

PRACTICE

SMALL GROUPS

Hebrews 10:25 -  And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and god deeds, not giving up meeting together, but encouraging one another

THE HUDDLE

PRAYER

Ephesians 6:18 - In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out

THE LOCKER ROOM

CHURCH

ROMANS 12:2 - Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God – what is good and well-pleasing and perfect.

STANDING OUT

Matthew 5:14-16 - You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

1. Is my life about self-fulfillment or Christ fulfillment

2. Do I live as one who is IN this world or as one who is OF this world

3. Am I ashamed of my faith, or do I profess the gospel to all who would hear it

4. Is my life a living sacrifice to Jesus