Good Enough Ain't Good Enough Anymore

In my addiction, I usually did the wrong thing. On occasion, I would do the right thing. Sometimes it was because I still had some principals, other times it was so that I could bring it up later to explain why I was not as bad as other people. Quite a lot of the time, it was by blind luck. Even a broken watch is right twice a day (unless it’s digital, in which case it is never right because you can’t see it or if it displays military time in which case it would be right once a day). Needless to say, the life that I was living in my addiction was good enough. What I was doing I felt was good enough to keep doing until it wasn’t, which took about 17 years. Then another 7.

I decided to get sober. Not really for me, but because I got caught by my probation officer and she sent me to rehab instead of back to prison. I was not doing it for me, I did it to stay out of prison which I had not enjoyed enough to want to go back on a 10 year backup. Also, I did it to show other people that I was not who they thought I was. I thought my reasoning was good enough, but my sobriety only lasted a couple of months before I relapsed.

When I tried to get sober a year later, I never really pushed myself. Instead, I would just do enough to get by. At faking it, I was awesome. I overachieved at the goals others set for me but never really had any goals for myself. Even when I did the 90 meetings in 90 days that was more like 150 meetings in 90 days, I never really listened while I was there. I was too busy telling people all that I knew about sobriety, which at 2 months sober could have fit inside of a thimble. I would also join in on the war stories, which a lot of other people there liked to listen to. But I thought that what I was doing was good enough, until it no longer helped.

I had a counselor who told me not to do drugs and that alcohol was a drug, so I followed in his footsteps and was sober. I actually looked up to him and respected him. Then one day he came into the restaurant I worked at and sat at the bar. While he was at the bar he had several alcoholic drinks. He obviously thought that no one could see him, or that he didn’t have a drinking problem. I am not sure which it was because I never saw him again. For him, what he was doing was good enough. I went out that night and got drunk. If he could do it so could I. Was he the reason I drank? No, but he was the reason I used. It was good enough.

Then I quit drugs which were illegal and became an alcoholic because alcohol was legal. I could rationalize my drinking all day long. Even though I would black out most every night I still worked and went to college. I even graduated honors. I was an alcoholic that drank and drove multiple times EVERY NIGHT. I would wake up with no idea how I got home. I would wake up with shakes and drink to make them go away. Was I happy? No, I was miserable but I was good enough.

Then I decided I wanted more. I wanted more for my life, my son’s life, my relationships, my employment, my day to day life. I was no longer happy with what I had. It was not enough. Good was not enough. I wanted to attain greatness. I went full bore in everything that I did. I decided to never settle for anything less than amazing for myself, my faith, my recovery, my wife and my children. Good was simply not good enough anymore. I wanted great!

I found that if I wanted to change, there were things I had to realize if I wanted to live a better life:

1.       Complacency kills I wanted to be great, and in order to do that I had to never ever settle. If I meet my goals, I create new ones. I was not born to do good things; I was born to achieve greatness!

2.       Keep moving If you are not moving forward, you are moving backward. Life is a journey not a destination.

3.       Educate Yourself Learn, learn and then learn some more. Read, have discourse with intelligent and/or wise people. To die ignorant is the greatest sin we can commit against ourselves.

4.       Ask Questions That is the only way you can find out some things, so don’t be afraid to ask. The only stupid question is the one that isn’t asked.

5.       Be Altruistic It really is better to give than to receive. Do for others, then do some more. There is nothing that makes me feel better than knowing I am necessary.

6.       Speak Loud When it comes to your testimony, shout it from the rooftops. After all, you are the expert at your life and there is a lot of hope and strength that people can get from it.

7.       Shame Sucks Never be ashamed of who you are and what you have done. After all, they made you the person you are today and that person is awesome!

8.       Be Proud of Your SuccessesDefeats build us and our victories define us. Take pride in what you have accomplished. Toot your own horn, because other people might not. People need to hear about both your wins and your losses to know who you are and what you are about. Take pride in the positive things you do.

9.       Be Grateful Learning the difference between wants and needs was vital to my finding happiness and a better life. There are things that I want and things that I need. If I focus on my wants I lose my ability to focus on that which is important. Start your day with a gratitude list and focus on what you have instead of what you don’t. It makes my mornings start off well, which bleeds into the rest of my days.

10.   Never Surrender I was beaten so many times before I even tried because I listened to the voice that told me I could not do it. I stopped listening to that voice and accepted I had no limitations as long as I was not dead. That is when the game is over. If you are still breathing, than victory can still be yours!

11.   Get the 5 Pillars The 5 Pillars are: A team to play for (Jesus), a coach (sponsor/mentor), teammates (accountability partners), a game plan (The Bible [for Cliff Notes use the book of James]/12 Steps) and practice (small groups, church, support meetings).

12.   Put God First My life is no longer about me. I put God first and every thing else comes second. If I put God first it makes all other areas of my life better. I become a better husband, father, friend, employee, etc. It all starts with God and trickles down from there. After all, I was an addict for decades and tried every way you can imagine to quit using and failed. An atheist said a fox hole prayer 5 years ago and I have not used since. And I am WAAAYYYYYY happier!

Pride: Getting Over Myself

I have weekly supervision with my supervisor. Every Thursday, from 7:30-8:30 we meet and discuss how my clients are doing as well as how I am doing. Last week when I met with her I let my feelings get hurt. She gave me some feedback last Thursday, and I did not care for it. There were two things that I could have done from that point. Maybe more, but at least two. One is less common, the other is the reaction most people have.

Instead of taking the less beaten path, I took the one most traveled. I took it personally. I let my pride kick in. She was a horrible person. How dare her confront what I had been doing for years. Who did she think she was? How dare her tell me how to do my job! I know that I am good at what I do. I have had so many clients come back and thank me later when I see them. My clients exit interviews were almost always great and why shouldn't they have been.

I take pride in my work. I am good at what I do. I have lived the life of addiction and now I live a life of recovery. I have a Bachelor's degree in Psychology and Sociology. One of those is the study of  the human brain and human behavior. The other is studying how people interact together and why they do it. Then I have a Master's degree in Social Work. I am an LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker). Finally, I have compassion for those who have struggles because I once had struggles too!

I have a heart for it, the education for it and I have lived it. That is a trifecta, the triple crown of substance abuse/recovery treatment. That is what was going through my brain as I walked out of her office. I bit my tongue, nodded when I was supposed to and finished the hour with her. I left her office mad. Thankfully, I have acquired  many skills over the years. One of those is thinking rationally. Here is how it works.

1. I replayed what she had said
2. I really thought about what she had said.
3. I assessed what she said, looking at both ends of the spectrum. One end, my irrational thought and the other end the best possible reason she could have said what she did to me.
4. I then looked at my reaction to it and if my reaction was rational or irrational
5. I realized my thought process was irrational and so was my initial reaction
6. I realized that what she said was meant to help me become better at what I do.

What I realized is that I am employed and I do not feel at any risk of losing my job. So how could it be possible that I suck at my job and she was pointing that out to me? Furthermore, I work with very adept counselors yet she also meets with them for an hour of supervision every week. Does she only have positive things to say to them, or does she also give them feedback on their job performance?

Rationally, I realized that what she said was not meant to be taken personally. In fact, I know that she has good things to say about me to other staff and partners in our community. Based on that, she obviously feels that I am proficient at my job. That said, she also realizes that I could be doing better. There are a couple of areas that I need to improve and she wants to see the clients get the most out of their time in our services.

What also helps this process is realizing who I am, who I was and how I think. I automatically take things personally at first. Part of that is because I was an addict, physically/sexually abused and struggled with depression/self-esteem issues most of my life. I thought I was a piece of junk and deserved everything that I got. It took a while to get over that, and I would argue I never fully will.

When someone gives criticism I take it to heart. It does not even have to be directed at me. It can be non-directed but I will take it as being a slam at me because I  hear it or read it and feel it applies. Thankfully, I have realized that due to my past I often don't think rationally. I have learned to play things through in my head before I take them to heart.

I am not perfect and there are a lot of different approaches to deal hope and empower people to live better lives. I can take feedback, both directly and indirectly, sift through what I can use and discard the rest. In the end, I am thankful for her feedback. It was not meant to be taken personally. It was only meant to help me grow. Hopefully having an open mind only allows me to become better at what I do. That is why I had to get over myself and remember that I am not perfect.

Tithing Part 1

This is the second blog that I have written about my experience with tithing. The first one that I wrote was entitled Tithing Part 2. It is entitled that because on the time line of my life, it happened after my first experience with being faithful in tithing. I know that may sound confusing, but it is really not. You can read about it here: http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2011/05/tithing-part-2.html

When I first got saved, I decided that I needed to tithe. Before I got saved, I was attending church sporadically and would drop $5 or $10 in the basket as it went around. After I got saved I realized that was not enough. I was led to give more. I realized that 10% was an Old Testament concept, and that the New Testament did not state an actual percentage. So, what was I to give and how should I decide that?

2 Corinthians 9:7 says,  “Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”  and Philippians 4:6 directs us also when it says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."


Using those scriptures for guidance, I decided to pray and then tithe what I was led to by my heart. I prayed, and 10% was laid on my heart to give to my church. I have tithed 10% since ever since then, without fail. I like that 2 Corinthians 9:7 says what it does about not giving because we feel compelled to. I don't have to give 10%, I get to give 10%. Tithing is not an obligation, but a privilege. I love the fact that I can contribute to my church and to the ministries that my church funds. I have been blessed, so I share that blessing.

We should never see tithing as a chore, or put saving before tithing. We need to be aware of the importance that we place upon money. Why should we not share our wealth? Luke 12:15 warns us against getting caught up in greed and coveting our money when it says , "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” We are to worship God, not material things. Give, and more will be given to us. Maybe not in this life, but for all eternity in the next one!


Furthermore, 10% is not all that I give. Your monetary tithe to your church is not all that you should give, either! If there are ministries that I want to give to or capital campaigns (like the Pay it Forward campaign that we had at New Life Church), I give over and above the 10%. I do not feel that we are commanded to give 10%, but that is the amount that was laid on my heart to give financially. Also, money is not all that we should be giving away freely!

Galatians 6:2 says, "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." and 1 John 3:17-18 says, "If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth."


This scripture backs up how I feel. Giving of our time is equally if not more important than tithing. I tell my clients that one of the most important things that I have learned in recovery is that community service is not something that is assigned by a judge or a probation officer. It is the act of us giving of ourselves out of a DESIRE to help others, not out of guilt. I think that it is really easy to write a check. It is difficult to give of your free time to help those less fortunate and smile the whole time you are doing it. 


Back to my story. So it was laid on my heart to tithe 10%. I then looked at my finances, and saw that if I tithed as I was being led to, I would only have $50 a week for food and entertainment. I do not mean food like going out to eat food, I mean food like groceries in the fridge and the pantry I would starve without having food. I decided that I could live on that $50 a week, even though at the time I was spending $120 a week on food and entertainment. I would just have to tighten my belt, as they say. No more movies or dining out for me.


That Sunday, I went into church with the amount I was to tithe. I filled out an envelope and dropped it into the basket. I was finally giving to support the church as I felt that I was supposed to. I knew that it would make my life a little difficult, but nowhere does it say that Christ called us to be comfortable. Christ even looks at how giving out of abundance is not nearly as important as giving to the point of being uncomfortable in Luke 12:41-44:
"Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.  Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything-all she had to live on." 
 So I tithed on Sunday. Monday I went into work and as soon as I got to staffing, my boss told me to talk to her after staffing was over in her office. I went to her office and met with her after staffing and got great news. She told me that because I was going to be graduating soon, she was going to give me some more things to do at work. The new responsibilities translated into a different job title and a higher salary. Needless to say, the increase in my pay was over and above what I was tithing. 


Even with tithing 10% on the increase in my pay, I was still taking home more than I was before I began tithing. I was overjoyed, but not  at all surprised. By this time, God had already shown me how powerful He could be. This was just one more way that God has blessed my life, and it is another way that I have to brag on Him. He can do all things, and is happy to do so. 


His grace never ceases to amaze me. There are times now that I am married with a child when the bills are tight and we have trouble making ends meet. We live paycheck to paycheck and are probably two paychecks from being homeless.........but so is almost everybody else. If we are hurting, our tithe is never even mentioned as a something to fore go so as to pay our bills. We look at cutting corners with food, or accepting that we cannot eat out or go see a movie for the rest of the month(or several months). But what if my needs and the needs of my family are not being taken care of?

We must always insure that our family is provided for. Maybe you have been laid off or are having some other form of financial difficulty and cannot afford to put food in the pantry or pay your rent. You are not required to keep giving. For those people, I would give them 1 Timothy 5:12, "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." If you cannot afford to buy food for your family or pay the rent, you should not be giving to the church. In this case, the church should be helping you!


That said, God should always come first and foremost in our lives. If we remain faithful to Him, He will continue to bless us. Do not be confused or let prosperity preacher's mislead you. We are not blessed by what we give, we are blessed by grace which cannot be earned or bought. Tithing does not equal salvation! You can tithe and still not be saved. 1 Corinthians 13:3 states, "If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."  

In summary, tithing does not have to be 10%. Tithing needs to be the amount that God places on your heart after you pray for direction and guidance. You should seek God's counsel before making any decisions, financial or otherwise, then follow it. If you cannot give what God lays on your heart to give, then you need to reexamine your lifestyle and your spending habits and revisit the difference between wants and needs. In case of emergency, there may be times that some people need help financially from the church instead of helping the church. Perfectly acceptable, life happens! In these times, I would recommend that as a good time to focus on volunteering your time to help others (not that you shouldn't always give of your time). Lastly, do not only give financially, but also give freely of your time. Do all of this not out of obligation but out of love! Thanks for reading!!

Celebrate Recovery Lesson 2 - POWERLESS

Lesson 2 - POWERLESS

Principle 1: Realize I'm not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.

"Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor." Matthew 5:3

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.

"I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." (Romans 7:18)

When we accept the first recovery principle and take that first step out of our denial and into reality, we there are very few things that we really have control over. Once we admit that by ourselves we are powerless we can stop living with the following serenity robbers, the bandits that steal away our faith and hope, spelled out in the following acrostic:

P ride
O nly ifs
W orry
E scape
R esentment
L oneliness
E mptiness
S elfishness
S eparation

PRIDE – Ignorance + pride + power = a deadly mixture
Proverbs 29: 23 - "Pride ends in a fall, while humility brings honor."

List some of the ways that your pride has stopped you from asking for and getting the help you need to overcome your hurts, hang-ups, and habits.
I'm supposed to have it together. I'm the one that my friends and family come to when they need encouragement and advice.  I am a counselor, I should not have any problems. I have this under control, I can do this my way. My way is the last addiction, holding onto the locus of control. Pride forgets God, or feels our plans for our lives are better. Want to make God laugh, tell him your  plans for your future.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:9)

ONLY IFS - keep us trapped in a fantasyland of rationalization
Luke 12: 2, 3 - "Whatever is covered up will be uncovered, and every secret will be made known. So then, whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in broad daylight."

What in your past has caused you to have the "if onlys"?  Ex.:"If only" I had stopped ______years ago.  "If only" ______________ hadn't left me.

If only I wasn’t a felon, if only I wasn’t an addict, if only I had a job, if only I, if only I, If I only had a brain! In this program we start testimonies with I am a grateful believer in JC who struggles with __________. I do not struggle with ______, instead I have been blessed with many trials and tribulations that have strengthened me and my relationship with my higher power.

WORRYING – a from of not trusting god enough

Matthew 6:34 - "Don't be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time."
What is worry? It is defined as, "to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret. To torment with cares, anxieties, etc.

Instead of worrying about things that we cannot control, we need to focus on what God can do in our lives.  What are you worrying about?  Why?
If I worry, that simply means that I am not trusting God enough. If I truly believe in God, than I know one thing - God's got this! If you have trouble, try this short little prayer:

So, Lord - I give these worries to you.  Lord forgive me for worrying - I know your word says to not be anxious for anything - Lord help me to trust you more!

ESCAPE –a world of fantasy and unrealistic expectations of us and others
Ephesians 5: 13, 14 - "For the light is capable of showing up everything for what it really is. It is possible for the light to turn the thing it shines upon into light also."

In what ways have you tried to escape your past pain?  Be specific.

I have tried to dull the pain with excess foods, drugs, alcohol, relationships, shopping, violence and sex. I have learned to recognize the pain now for what it is and am able to work through it with the Lord's help.  It's a vicious cycle - life's stress and regrets can make me feel hopeless and then I use, and that makes me feel even more hopeless so I use again - You can only imagine how glad to be off of that merry-go-round I am. I'm no longer hiding from these things and have searched myself and realized that my not trusting the Lord is sin, and that the act of addiction is sin, and not exercising and treating my body as God's temple is sin - so I've repented from these things - I still fail, but I'm recognizing it quicker and getting back on track.

RESENTMENTS – an emotional cancer if allowed to fester and grow
Ephesians 4: 26-27 - "In your anger do not sin ... do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."

How has holding on to your anger and your resentments affect you?

It's made me sick.  Holding onto these things and stuffing down the feelings with addiction, has kept me from growing up and growing in the Lord. This has been a process of uncovering things I was holding on to and had to really internalize that if God loved me so much, enough to send his son to die for me - and has forgiven me - then I needed to let go and "accept" his forgiveness and trust in his forgiveness.

LONELINESS – In recovery and in Christ, we never have to walk alone
Hebrews 13: 1, 2 - "Continue to love each other with true brotherly love. Don't forget to be kind to strangers, fos some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it."

Do you believe that loneliness is a choice?  Why or why not?  How has your denial isolated you from your important relationships?

Yes, loneliness isdefinitely a choice. It may be subconscious at times, but it is a choice.  I can remember feeling so lonely in my house of five.  I became so self centered that I could not think about anyone else, but myself.  Again, this has a been a process to overcome the detachment, isolation and self-centeredness - I still battle the negative thinking that no-one wants me around and such - but I've learned to tell myself otherwise - learning scripture has helped keep me grounded. Learning who I am in Christ and then realizing that others are thinking and feeling the same way that I am- helps me to focus on them and share God's love with them - and realize that even if no one is around, the Lord is always there.  If I can't get others focused - I can almost always get Christ focused!

EMPTINESS
John 10:10 - "My purpose is to give life in all its fullness."

Describe the emptiness you feel and some new ways you are finding to fill it?

I used to feel empty. I felt that I had no purpose, that I was nothing, no good, a junkie and a convict. When I woke up in the morning as an Agnostic, I knew that right there was probably the best that I would feel all day, maybe the rest of my life. That kind of not having anything to look forward to was depressing. I have found contentment and joy in the Bible. God's word fills me with his promises and hope for tomorrow and I've gotten a lot of joy sharing that same love and joy with others to help make their lives full!

SELFISHNESS – we often pray, our father who art in heaven, gimme gimme
Luke 17:33 - "Whoever clings to his life shall lose it, and whoever loses his life shall save it."
What does it mean to be selfish? It is defined as, "devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others. Characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself."

Selfishness is at the heart of most problems between people.  In what areas of your life have you been selfish?    
Facebook and video games began to be an issue. I would come home and pour myself into the computer, playing games and facebooking with the stress of my job as my excuse to ignore my family and play games to escape. Then I realized how much that was hurting my wife and my son. In the past I would see people that gave and gave of themselves and I admired it, but I had never really seen that in my own life. I had never even considered doing that in my own life. I had never jumped wholely into anything.  I have began to give of myself instead of only taking. I still need to give more of myself at work, more of myself to my son, more of myself to my fiancé, and more of myself to Christ. But I have started, and that is better than it was!  

SEPARATION – some talk of finding God, as if he could ever get lost
Romans 8: 38, 39 - "For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from His love. Death can't and life can't. The angels won't and all the powers of hell itslef cannot keep God's love away ... Nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when He died for us."

Separation from God can feel very real but it is never permanent.  What can you do to get closer to God?

I know all it takes is for one or two mornings to wake up a little late and then boom - I'm off on my own again. I need to remember to start my day with God, and that if He is needed He is never more than a knee away when I pray. I make my days wrong, I have the first thought wrong syndrome. With Christ guiding me I now have first thought right!  

FOUR ACTIONS from Principle 1

1.) STOP DENYING THE PAIN. You are ready to take your first step in recovery since you have identified that your pain is greater than your fear. 

Psalm 6: 2, 3 - "Pity me, O Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, for my body is sick, and I am upset and disturbed. My mind is filled with apprehension and with gloom."

2.) STOP PLAYING GOD. You are unable to do for yourself what you need God to do for you.  You are either going to serve God or yourself.  you can't serve both. 

Matthew 6: 24 - "No one can be a slave to two masters: he will hate one and love the other; he will be loyal to one and despise the other."

3.) START ADMITTING OUR POWERLESSNESS. As you work the first principle, you are  seeing that by yourself you do not have the power to change your hurts, hang-ups, and habits

Matthew 19:26 - "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

4.) START ADMITTING THAT OUR LIVES HAVE BECOME UNMANAGEABLE. You can and have admitted that some/all areas of your life are out of your control to change.

Psalm 40:12 - "Problems far too big for me to solve are piled higher than my head. Meanwhile my sins, too many to count, have all caught up with me and I am ashamed to look up."

Sometimes When You Lose You Win

When I hear "Sometimes when you lose you win" the sound of Rosie Perez's accented voice resonates in my head. I really like sports movies, and White Men Can't Jump is one of those movies I watched a lot when I was younger. It is fitting that the movie would come to my mind, as it is a sports movie, when I think of playing softball last Friday. I got several reminders that I, in hindsight, needed to hear on Friday.

I am not making any excuses, but it was hot outside and we had a triple header! We had the 6:20-7:20-8:20 games for our triple header on Friday, and our two big hitters where gone. Oh yeah, and the sun was in my eyes, the team dressed in shorts, long sleeve shirts and ties to set us off and they heckled us the entire time. I have tons of excuses for our day, but I will stop making them now.

To be honest, our team beat ourselves. We did not hit well, and we had a lot of errors over the course of the game. Before this game our team was undefeated. I think we where 14-0. We were used to walking over teams, and would come into each game pretty lackadaisical. We had gotten cocky somewhere along the way, and I had not even noticed it. I guess that we needed a reminder that we were just like every other team.

We got our butts kicked at the 6:20 game. All I could do was be frustrated, mostly with myself. I want my son to play in a league that keeps score so that he can learn to win and lose, but I found Friday that I need to learn how to lose too. I beat myself up about the loss. I let it affect me. I even was at bat and got the last out of the game. It was in my head when the game ended.

As I walked away disgruntled to the second game of the night, I heard my team captain's wife say, "You guys needed to lose. You were getting pretty cocky. You had rolled over everyone and expected it to happen every game. You guys had stopped playing your best and were just playing good enough to win the last few weeks. This loss is good for you." This instantly resonated with me. She was absolutely right, and I knew better then to be cocky and to get angry. As a competitor and as a Christian.

Proverbs 3:34 says, "He mocks proud mockers but shows favor to the humble and oppressed." I had become prideful. There was a definite lack of humility in my life on Fridays. I had not even noticed it. It took a loss and my friend's wife to remind me. Galatians 6:3 says, "If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves." For starters, I am not that great of a softball player. I am one of the weaker links on my team. I was getting a big head, and I needed the reminder that I was not that big of a deal. God is deserving of all praise, not me.

Obadiah 1:3 states that, "The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rocks and make your home on the heights, you who say to yourself, ‘Who can bring me down to the ground?’" Who brought us to the ground? It was God by using a team that we had already beat 2 or three times this season. It was a lesson that I needed to learn, but it was not my last lesson of the night.

The team that we met for our 7:20 make up game was the same team that we played at 8:20. We beat them soundly the first game, but their shortstop made a couple of really good plays on hard hit balls and I got two outs the first game due to his glove work. I was still frustrated from losing to a team that we had beat several times, and he had an error in the second game. My mouth reacted before I could stop it! 

"You can't get lucky every play," I yelled from the dugout. My friend Kelly was sitting next to me, and he turned and said, "That doesn't sound like something you would say in your blog, David."  All I could do was look to the ground, partly in shame and partly because he was right and there was just nothing I could say.  

2 Corinthians 5:18-20 says this, "All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us."

That scripture states that we are to be ambassadors for God. He makes his appeal to people through us. Reconcile means to reestablish a close relationship between us and someone else. How am I to establish a relationship with someone when I am not showing good sportsmanship? One way that God makes a relationship with other people is through us, and here I am throwing a temper tantrum over losing and taking it out on someone on the other team? How is that beneficial to God or to me? The Bible also lets us know that what we have done to the least of man, it is like doing it to God Himself. When I mocked and ridiculed the shortstop out of frustration, that was the same as me ridiculing God.

As I thought on the night and the reminders that I had gotten from my friends, one of my favorite scriptures popped into my head. James 4:10 says, "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." I needed to regain my composure and remember that all that I am and all that I do is due to God, period. I am merely an instrument for Him to reach others through.

So once again, I was taught a valuable lesson. The thing that I need to remember is that I seldom learn life lessons from my victories. Most of the most important lessons that I have ever learned have come from my defeats and set-backs. Why get mad when I can get wisdom?

In closing I need to thank God, Felicia and Kelly not only for the inspiration for this blog, but for a much needed reminder of things that I already know. Be a good sport. Be gracious in victory and defeat. Do not ever get cocky, for all things are from God and God alone. The higher I sit, the further the fall. I needed to be knocked back down to Earth. Hopefully I will not need to be reminded of this again..................but I am sure that I will!

Pride Goeth Before a Fall

Pride is Biblically one of those things that we are to not have. It is a character trait that is not to be admired. In the King James version of the Bible it states, "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

I quote the King James Version because it is very fitting that the King James version would give this warning to someone that is also referred to as King James. To others he is known as simply LeBron James. Today I would like to personally thank LeBron and the Miami Heat for reminding me that pride does not lead us to be successful.  If anything, pride sets us up for destruction.

Last night, in game 6 of the NBA finals, the Dallas Mavericks led by Dirk Nowitzki defeated the Miami Heat's trio of all stars led by LeBron. I was glad to see Dallas win after the way that Miami and LeBron celebrated his signing with them at the beginning of this basketball season.

"Not one, not two, not three, not four," James said. And he wasn't finished.  "Not five, not six, not seven." He trumpeted from stage as he guaranteed multiple championships. I believed him, even though I am a Chicago Bulls fan. I thought that the combination of LeBron, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh would be unstoppable. I would have never predicted that they would not have the best record in the league (they had the third best) or that they would not win the NBA championship. He and I both seemed to forget the warning the Bible gives us multiple times:

Obadiah 1:3 "The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rocks and make your home on the heights, you who say to yourself, ‘Who can bring me down to the ground?’"


Isaiah 23:9 "The LORD Almighty planned it, to bring low the pride of all glory and to humble all who are renowned on the earth."


1 Corinthians 13:4 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."


Even in the Biblical book bearing the last name of LeBron, James 4:6b states, "God opposes the proud, but shows favor to the humble," which is actually a quote from Proverbs 3:34.


Pride, boastfulness and haughtiness are all things that we should avoid, or we will find ourselves in trouble with the person who truly counts, God. I do not care if I am poor or if I, like LeBron, were to reach his goal of being a billionaire. I would rather be poor in this life and live in bliss for eternity than store up treasures on Earth to find myself on the wrong side of God. 


This leads us to the question how should I act? James 4:10 says, "Humble yourselves, and He will lift you up" and 1 Peter 5:6 says to, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time." 


This means that we are not the most important thing in the world. We need to get over ourselves and realize that there is only one with true power, and it is not us. If we are humble than God will give us the power to overcome all things. If we are boastful and prideful, then God will not. We should all take a lesson from the first step of recovery, which states that we realize that we are powerless. LeBron seemed to believe that he was all powerful, and thus has alienated some fans and possibly God Himself. 

In the end I thought that maybe LeBron James does get it. His twitter post after the game said, "The Greater Man upstairs know when it's my time. Right now isn't the time."

That sounds like a man who has come to realize that there is a greater power than he. I was happy for LeBron after I read his twitter in the sports news. I was beginning to think that maybe he was the young man who had his head on his shoulders and not in the clouds like I had thought, before the past year had occurred. Then I read his after game interview quote:

"At the end of the day, all the people that were rooting for me to fail ... at the end of the day, tomorrow they have to wake up and have the same life that [they had] before they woke up today. They got the same personal problems they had today. And I'm going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things I want to do."

His pride has once again reared its' ugly head. I only hope that we can take a look at how he has acted and reacted to others and learn a lesson. I know that he is only reacting to what others have said and done, but two rights do not make a wrong. Even though the Bible tells us in what is commonly known as the Golden Rule to do to others as we would have them do us (Matthew 7:12), I would tell us as Christians to go one further and treat others better than you want to be treated.

Remember Matthew 25 says that what we have done to the least of man, we have done to God Himself. When you are wronged by someone you should still treat them with love and respect, for when we stand before God do we want  Him to treat us as we on this world treated others? Do we want Him to treat us as we deserve? I know that I  do not, how about you?