Finally Home by Mercy Me

I remember the first time that I heard Finally Home. I had just gotten saved and was at my first concert. It was amazing. It was the Rock and Worship Road Show with Mercy Me, Jeremy Camp, Tenth Avenue North, Addison Road and Hawk Nelson. As soon as I heard the song, it made me think of my father who had passed away the previous year. It put a smile on my face, and that aspect of the song has not changed.

I listen to the song Finally Home by Mercy Me and the lyrics make me insanely happy every single time. The thought of talking to my father, who did not get to see me finally overcome my addiction and turn my life over to Christ, makes me smile. I had, ever since I was saved, imagined my dad looking down on me and seeing me raise the grandson that he never got to meet. That, too, made me smile. Then I came to realize that it was pretty small-minded of me to think that way. Maybe even a bit selfish. That is the aspect of the song that has changed for me as I have advanced in my relationship with Christ.

Today I imagine myself in heaven after living my life for God. There is no words that can describe the wonders I will see when I finally get to heaven, which I truly consider my home. I believe all I would do is worship and be bliss-filled once I got there. I do not think that worldly concerns will be in my scope of attention. I no longer think that my dad is looking down from heaven, watching me. I am pretty sure that Mercy Me feels the same way.

In the song Bart Millard says, "I'm gonna wrap my arms around my daddy's neck, and tell him that I missed him. And tell him all about the man that I became, and hope that it please him. There's so much I want to say, so much I want you to know." I will get to do the same thing. I will have to tell my dad about what has happened. If heaven is half what I know it will be, my father will be too focused on the magnificence of God to watch his son. I know that is true for my father. That excites me!

After all, I get to tell him all about me and his grandson and unborn grandchild and how we have turned out when I finally make it home!! And we will worship together for the first time since I was in the 4th grade. That is when I became agnostic, and my father died before I got saved. The last time we stood in a church and worshipped together was when I was 9. Worshipping in front of my heavenly father with my earthly father next to me will be an immeasurable gift, and I cannot wait!!

PRAYER Pt. 1: Definition of Prayer

I guess that the best way to start off a series on prayer would be to define prayer. After all, it is hard to talk about something if we do not have a good idea what exactly we are talking about. So, what is prayer? Here are the definitions found on dictionary.com:

1. a devout petition to God or an object of worship.
2. a spiritual communion with God or an object of worship, as in supplication, thanksgiving, adoration,  or confession.
3. the act or practice of praying to God or an object of worship.
4. a formula or sequence of words used in or appointed for praying: the Lord's Prayer.
5. prayers, a religious observance, either public or private, consisting wholly or mainly of prayer.

Over the course of this series we are going to talk about the Christian concept of prayer. So we can rule out object of worship. Based on several scriptures we can also rule out formula or sequence of words. Honestly these definitions work, but not well. To learn about the concept of prayer to God, we should see what He says about it in His Living Word. So, what does the Bible say about prayer?

1 John 5:14-15 says, "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of Him."

1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, "Pray continually."

John 16:23, "In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name."

We have made prayer much more complicated yet easier than it needs to be. I know that I suffer from this. I have no problem praying on my own, but get really nervous when I am praying outloud in the midst of others. I get nervous when I pray over food if the table has people I do not know at it. It is even more nerve-wracking for me when I am doing intercessory prayer (praying on behalf of someone else) in a group or I am praying with someone else out loud.

Prayer should not be this way. Prayer is not that difficult a thing to do, but in order to do it it must be understood. I fear things that I do not know or understand well. Math and spiders are the two examples I have. One of them I do not understand well, and the other I have never had any reason to learn about. Therefore I am intimidated and scared by them. I no longer want to be intimidated by prayer. 


This series is an opportunity for me to learn more about what prayer is and share that knowledge with you. It is me realizing that not only do I not know enough about prayer, but that I am pretty sure I do not pray often enough and need to pray more. But in order to pray, I should understand what prayer is. So what is my definition of prayer?

Prayers are frequent conversations of meaning and purpose with our Heavenly Father in the name of His Son Jesus Christ that are sincere and filled with an attitude of gratitude, reverence, love, faith, humility and thanksgiving which allows us to let our needs be known while deepening our relationship with God.

The bottom line is this: Prayer IS an ongoing  conversation with God. Plain and simple, prayer is talking to God. Imagine having God on speed dial, "Siri, call Jehovah." Instantly, I have God on the other end and I can have a conversation with him where I pour my heart out. Just like your best friend, you should want to talk to God over the course of the day and share your life with Him. Prayer is showing that you are dependent on God. You are confiding in God, building your relationship and letting Him know that you need Him. Not praying is trying to live independent of God, telling Him that you don't want Him and you don't need Him.

Spiritual Spackle and Exodus 3:2

Exodus 3:2 states, "There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up."

I know what God wants me to do. It has been impressed upon my mind and seared into my heart. That said, I have absolutely no idea how to accomplish it. Things were a lot easier without a family, when I could just pick up and do as I pleased. Now, I have a family that I support. That makes a huge difference in how I live my life. I have responsibilities to both my family and to God. My friends say that I am doing enough, but the Holy Spirit continues to tell me that I must do more.

In every way that I can think of, I am extremely blessed. I still have problems, but they are outweighed by all that God has given me. I have lived a life that was full of addiction, loss and misery. Now, I have hope that there is so much positive that I have to look forward to. I need to repay Christ for the sacrifice that He made 2,000 years ago. That is done by following where the Spirit leads me. The question is how?

I was thinking how much I need a burning bush. I need to hear the voice of God's angel filling me in on how to accomplish what God has put in my heart. I will be done with my book, "Spiritual Spackle" by the end of April. I will hopefully have gotten the money I need to self-publish in a Kickstarter campaign that will begin in either December or January. We shot the footage for the promotional video yesterday.

I am hoping this is the first step in beginning the journey that God has laid before me. I will have the chance to share with people worldwide what the Holy Spirit has done in my life. I spent 23 years in addiction, went to prison, attempted suicide, flatlined or overdosed more times than I can count on two hands, have holes in me I was not born with and have more mental health diagnosis than you can count on one hand. I tried every secular method of recovery there was, and none succeded.

The only reprieve that I found was with the Holy Spirit. I went from misery as an Agnostic to eternal optimism as a Christian. I am to share that miraculous transformation with as many people as I possibly can, letting them know that true recovery is only possible through belief in Christ. My first step in sharing is writing the book, then my goal is to eventually speak twice a week sharing the power of Christ. I am hopeful that the Kickstarter campaign will help me get started. If not, then I may need a burning bush.

Does Anybody Even Know That You Are a Christian??

I ask this question in all seriousness, DOES ANYBODY EVEN KNOW THAT YOU ARE A CHRISTIAN? I do not mean the people that see you at church. I am sure that when they see you at church, they "know" that you are a Christian. Why, because you attend twice a week, you sit in the front row, you raise your hand in worhip or you stand at the door and say God bless you to everyone that walks in. That is an issue, to me. There are a lot of people out there that do not like Christians because they do not see people who represent Christ. They think that because you go go church that makes you one. You may even think that yourself. I would tell you both that appearances can be deceiving.

For example, I have seen Joaquin Phoenix portray Johnny Cash and Jamie Foxx play the part of Ray Charles. I saw James Cagney play George M. Cohan and Val Kilmer acts as if he were Doc Holiday. All 4 of these men did superb jobs, but that was merely acting! At the end of the day, Jamie Foxx is still Jamie Foxx. At the end of the day, who are you really? Do you act as if you are a part of this world or are you simply living in it! Do you merely observe at church or do you listen and apply what you learn to your life?

I know that I attend church, but does that make me a Christian? I have been to a lot of weddings in the past. Does that mean I was getting married? Is everyone there getting married? Obviously being at a wedding does not mean that you are doing more than just observing. I have been to 5 baseball games in the past year, but none of them made me a better baseball player. In fact, I couldn't hit a 95 mile per hour fastball if my life depended on it.

So based on that, it obviously takes more than just attendance to make someone a Christian or a bride or a professional baseball player. All that attendance means is that I am present! If sitting in your church made you a Christian, then based on the amount of time I have spent in garages and shops I should be a car by now! Instead, all of that time in garages and shops made me a methamphetamine manufacturer and drug dealer in my past.

There are lots of butts planted in the pews and chairs in churches that are present in body only. The minds of those in attendance are not focused on the message. Even those who are focused on the message will stop thinking about the sermon the minute they get to their car and the first person cuts them off in traffic or they do not get their food right away when they go out to eat. My complaint is this - THERE ARE MANY CHRISTIANS OUT THERE YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW ARE CHRISTIANS IF YOU DID NOT SEE THEM IN CHURCH!!

That is why I need you to be honest with yourself. If it was not for your church attendance and bumper stickers/T-Shirts proclaiming your faith would anyone know that you were a Christian? Does the music you listen to or the movies you watch proclaim your faith. Does the way you treat your wife/husband and kids portray how Christ loved and treated people? How about the language that comes out of our mouths when we are angry, or the looks we give to people we do not like?

I am in a relationship with Christ, and people should know it. There should not be a doubt in anyones mind that I am in a relationship with Christ. Take for example my marriage. I wear a wedding ring and am often seen with my wife. That gives an appearance. Now what if I ogle every female who walks by and am constantly hitting on women daily. Does it look like I am really in a true relationship with my wife? You can tell that I am in a good relationship with my wife not only by how I treat her, but how I act when she is not around.

In the same way, how you act when not in church tells a lot about where you are in your relationship with God. You can be married and beat your wife and cheat on her constantly while consistently running her down to everyone around you and making her out to be the bad person. All too often, I see people who use God as a scapegoat and his lack of "answering" their prayers as a reason to not believe. I would have you ask yourself a question first.......were you ever in a true relationship with God?

What is a true relationship? It is wanting to make the other person happy and giving to them, not just trying to make yourself happy and constantly taking. Sadly, all many of us do is take, but we do not want to give of ourselves. The Lord's Prayer should be changed to, "Our father, who art in heaven  gimme gimme gimme!!" That simply cannot be right.

What do you give up for Christ, other than one or two hours a week? He said that the world would hate us, just as they hated Him! So why do you strive so hard to fit in that people cannot tell the difference between you and everybody else that lives in this world. We should be leaders, not followers; teachers, not students. If church is the locker room where we get the pep talk, outside of church is game time! We need to redefine our relationship with Christ so that others know that it is real. We need to live our lives differently so that Christ knows it is real!! Don't talk about it, be about it!!

 Here is a poem by P4CM poet Karness Turner that addresses this issue.

Come As You Are

Matthew 11:28-29 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

We are not called to be perfect. In fact, at first we are just called to show up, period! We are called to come to Christ as we are, weary and burdened. That means we come to Christ as sinners with our sins in their full glory. Our sin is active when we come to Christ. Romans 3:23 tells us that all sin. It is in our nature to sin, especially when we are in the world.

Mark 2:17 Christ let's the Pharisees know who He came to save when He said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” The same story is also related in Matthew 9 and Luke 5. 1 Timothy 1:15 parrots this when it says that Christ came into the world to save sinners. So Christ came and He came so that the sinners could be forgiven. What does that mean for us? Does that mean that we are fine the way that we are when we first come into relationship with God and can stay the same?

In one word, NO!!! For example, I work at a residential drug and alcohol treatment facility. I tell my clients that it does not matter what reason they came into treatment for originally; whether it is to get their children back in their custody, to stay out of prison or to make someone they love happy. At least they are here. Now if when they leave that is still the same reason that they have to stay sober then we have a problem.

You see, simply walking through the door is a huge hurdle. Once we have opened the door, then a relationship with Christ can begin to happen. Christ has the ability to take the direct consequence of our sins away. Our not wanting more than that is the problem! Francis Chan says that many of us do not want to be saved from our sin (as in we will sin no more), but only from the consequences of our sin (eternity in Hell).

We need to be worried about much more than just the consequences of our sin. We need to abolish sin from our lives! In John 8:11, Jesus instruction to the woman caught committing adultery was to, "go and sin no more." He did not tell her to go and try not to sin like many churches preach. He told her not to sin at all. That is what we are to try to do. We must try to live as Christ lived. Our lives should be lived as a tribute to God.

I have said ever since I was saved that my life is a gift from God, and how I live my life is my gift back to Him! It seemed like most of my life was spent slapping God in the face. That was how I used to repay Him for my life, by embarrassing and rebelling against Him. Now I live my life to glorify Him in all that I do. It is not always by doing the easiest thing, but by doing the right thing. It is done by following Phillipians 2:12, which says that we should, "continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose."

That is what we should do with our lives. We will make mistakes, but as our relationship grows they should come less often and eventually almost disappear. Then we can be found pleasing to God, as talked about in Colossians 1:10, "so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God."

I know many feel that because God loves us He is happy with us just as we are. That is true, with a caveat. He loves us as He is, but expects and wants the best for and from us. He loves us unconditionally, but even unconditional love wants the best for us and expects us to improve. If that does not make sense to you, then let me speak as a parent.

When my son was born I was just happy to get him home. I loved to watch him just lay there. That was great, but I could not wait for him to begin rolling over. Rolling over was pretty cool, but then came crawling. Crawling was amazing to watch as he figured it out. Now, I love my son with all of my heart. I have never loved anyone more unconditionally than I do him. Yet, when he began to crawl I still wanted more from him. As he matured, I wanted him to eventually learn to stand on his own.

Standing was still not good enough, because I would not have been satisfied with anything less than him walking since he had no infirmities. As he took those first steps I was proud. I got his first steps on video tape. He would take a couple of steps and then fall. I would look on proudly. As he learned how to walk better, I expected him to fall down less and less and to eventually hardly fall at all. I expected nothing less of him, and yet I love him unconditionally.

God is the same way! Come as you are. It is okay if you crawl through the door to worship. As you mature in your faith, you will find balance and eventually begin to take steps. Those steps will transform into a solid walk with God. He loves us unconditionally, and He expects nothing less from us than a firm walk (thanks to George McDonald for this example). We should expect nothing less from ourselves either. We need to stop using excuses to not do our best. 

I had a friend who was hiring at his restaurant. He was having trouble finding employees. When I asked why he was having problems he said, "I have a lot of applicants but nobody to hire. Everybody wants to get paid, but none of them want to work for it." That reminded me of so many Christians that I know. We all want to be saved, but we do not want to put in the work.

There are a lot of pastors today who preach the feel good, watered down gospel. They have thousands that attend their mega-churches, and they feel that they are doing the work of God. I tell you this, if we look and act like those outside of the churches we are doing something wrong. If we do as the masses do, the Bible let's us know where we stand. Matthew 7:12-13 says, "wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

God called me to come as I was, but in His infinite wisdom He saw that I could not stay that way. I have already talked about the changes that the Holy Spirit causes, and how following the whispers of God make our lives better. I will soon be writing a blog about the feel good garbage that some of the Christian authors and pastors are laying down as dogma! Religion truly is the opiate of the masses.

I do not want you to have religion! I want you to have a relationship with Christ. Ephesians 4:1 sums up what I say to you and what I want for all of you. Paul says that "I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." We have been called to represent God with our lives. We have been called to Christ, who laid down his life for us so that our lives could be eternal. Can we not lay down our sins for Him?