Tactics by Gregory Koukl Chapter 3 - Getting in the Driver's Seat: The Columbo Tactic

Are you ready? Have you have finally gotten to the point in your relationship with God that you want to share it with others? Do these quotes represent you?

• "I am ready and willing to defend my faith to others."
• "I know that I have THE Truth and THE Way. Not a truth, but THE TRUTH!"
• "I will not be ashamed, I will not be intimidated and I will not get angry but will instead share my faith proudly with others and communicate with others the Truth!"

You are ready, and the opportunity presents itself. Someone says "I don't believe in God. There is simply no proof" or "Who are you to say that Christianity is better than other religions? Jesus just taught about love, just like every other religion! Who are you to tell everybody how they should live and what they should believe?" and you completely shut down. Your mind either goes blank or 10 different ways to defend your faith run through your head at once and you can't grab any of them. Just like that, your window of opportunity has passed and you are left shaking your head. Why did the conversation pass you by?

I am sure there are several reasons. The first may be that you have a window of about 10 seconds to engage the question before it vanishes. You miss the window, and poof it's gone! Secondly, you may not speak because you are afraid that you might lose a friend or appear too extreme. Lastly, you are looking at the opportunity in the wrong way. You feel the need to defend your faith and that can be intimidating, playing defense. The great news is that you do not have to defend your faith. That is the simplicity of the Columbo Tactic in this chapter.

In the show Columbo, the detective that the show was named after had a method of operating that was very different. He would walk in looking unprepared, sloppy and unassuming. He would look at the scene, take it all in and then ask a question. He never posed the question in a threatening way, but instead as a way to get clarification. He sometimes would even ask permission, "Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Then he would listen to the reply, which would generally lead to his asking another question.

Mr. Koukl says that you can, "go on the offensive in an inoffensive way by using carefully selected questions to productively advance the conversation."  Asking questions serves several purposes. It displays interest in the person speaking, allowing them to feel cared about. It also educates you on the other person's beliefs. Finally, questions allow you to stay on the offensive, sitting in the driver's seat of a conversation. If you have not stated your own beliefs, you have nothing to defend. The pressure for you is nonexistent and you can enjoy a relaxed conversation while steering it in the direction you want it to go in.

The best question is, "What do you mean by that?" or a variation thereof. It is an open-ended question that engages the person in an interactive way. It helps them clarify their point of view. It will make them spell out their objections instead of allowing them to use popular slogans, repeating what they have heard others say or staying vague in their beliefs. It may even surprise you how many people answer the question "What do you mean by that?" with a blank stare because they do not even know why they believe as they do.

Think of the first statement I used earlier, "I don't believe in God. There is simply no proof." The first question could be clarification of what they mean by God. Do they mean they don't believe in some white bearded old man sitting in space on a giant throne? Good, me neither! Do they mean that they don't believe in a personal God but instead in a force like nature, or are they purely atheistic? That may be pertinent information to know.

Now that you have clarified what they mean by God, you can advance the conversation while staying in the drivers seat by asking another question. The follow-up question could be to find out what type of proof they need. Will they accept historical, scientific or philosophical proof? Can the proof be beyond a reasonable doubt or must it be absolute? You see, the entire time you are having them state what they believe and you have not yet said anything about your own belief.

The second statment, "Who are you to say that Christianity is better than other religions? Jesus just taught about love, just like every other religion! Who are you to tell everybody how they should live and what they should believe?" could give us pause also. So we could start by asking about the other religions that they have studied. So in your studies, you have found that all religions are alike? followed by Why are the similarities more important than the differences? Isn't telling people to love each other telling them how they should live and what they should believe? Can you see how these questions set them up for conversation without them getting angry? Instead, the cause the conversation to continue and you have not had to argue your case at all!

That is why you must never be afraid to ask questions. Questions will force the people you are conversing with to think very carefully about what they mean. That will give you time to think and the ability to see openings when they present themselves. Remember, you are not having the conversation to win them to Christ. You are just looking for a rock to put in their shoe. You want to make them think. Argument does not bring people to Christ, encountering the Holy Spirit does. You are just creating a God-sized hole in their way of thinking for the Holy Spirit to fill-in later.

Tactics by Gregory Koukl Chapter 2: Reservations

"There are two things you don't talk about, religion and politics!" Does that sound familiar? Religion for some time has been considered a taboo subject. So when a book encourages you to have religious discussions, you probably get nervous. "How can I possibly discuss my faith, especially with non-believers, without it turning into a heated dispute?" Mr Koukl addresses just that question in Chapter 2, and he goes further than simply saying we should discuss it. He encourages that we should argue for our faith. Scary, huh!!!

Let's start by clarifying what the word argue mean? Is it two people yelling at each other back and forth, getting angrier and angrier as the discussion continues to escalate? No, argue is to attempt persuading others with reason and evidence. An argument sounds like a positive experience. A heated argument, however, is the last thing you want. If you get angry and raise your voice, cut someone off in mid-sentence or try to bully/intimidate them you lose! You give the appearance of using power instead of persuasion. It is the best way to appear ignorant on the issue. Plus it is a showing of bad manners, which is hardly Christ-like.

On the flip side, what if you stay calm as a cucumber and the other person gets angry and defensive? Once again, you lose! You should always try to keep the conversation cordial by being kind, patient and gentle. What if you express your ideas in that fashion and it still enrages people? You now know that it is your beliefs and ideas, not your attitude or behavior that bothers them.

In live you must never forget, YOU are a representative of Christ and you need to always display that. You are to love your neighbor as yourself. That means that you are to be compassionate, respectful and caring to those around you. Treat them how you want them to treat you whether they do or not. You also are to love God with your whole heart. If you have that kind of love for him, why would you not share Him? You bore people to death telling them about your children, so why do you fear discussing Christ?

You may not be able to handle someone challenging your beliefs without getting hostile. Maybe you fear enraging others. Remember, that is on them if you argue with as long as you use patience, care and respect when in discussions with others. Finally, you may be afraid that differing opinions may destroy the unity of the church. 2 Timothy chapter 2 tells you to teach others and in 2 Timothy chapter 4:2-5 we are told to:

"Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry."

Scripture tells you to correct, rebuke and encourage using sound doctrine by doing the work of an evangelist and performing the duties of ministry. This requires you to have conversations and discussions with both believers and non-believers. You cannot know truth without legitimate conversation, in which you treat others with civility and don't take what they say personally.

Here is why you should argue. Your views must be challenged if you are to develop strong faith. Without discussion and debate your faith stays weak and shallow. Argument is vital to help you distinguish between truth and error, friend from foe, positive from negative and right from wrong. The author states, "The ability to argue well is vital for clear thinking. That's why arguments are good things. Arguing is a virtue because it helps us to determine what is true and discard what is false." 

How can we love God with all of our mind as Jesus instructed us to in Mark 12:30 if we never engage our mind? Your mind is  best exercised when you dispute your claims with those who have opposing beliefs. Your faith grow stronger through arguments and sometimes they can even be effective!

In Acts 17: 2-3, Paul reasoned with non-believers for 3 Sabbaths while he explained and gave evidence for his beliefs. He did not sway them all, but the Bible says that "some of them were persuaded" (Acts 17:4). You should not expect everyone to change. In John 10:27-28 Jesus says that His sheep hear and follow. This means that there will be some who don't respond to the Truth.

In fact, you may never change anyone. If they don't respond, do not take it personally! It is not on you to change people. That is the work of God. You can neither love nor argue someone to Christ on your own. Without the work of the Spirit, there can be no conversion. Only through the power of God can the gospel transform someone. So if it is not on you to change others, why waste your time? What should your goal be?

You are to be faithful to God, and He tells you to minister and evangelize. Your goal may be to introduce a question or two for the other person to think about. Mr. Koukl says, "My aim is never to win someone to Christ. All I want to do is put a stone in some one's shoe. I want to give them something to think about." Everyone has their calling. You may be the one to harvest You may be a gardener, not a harvester. It is okay to sow, even if you do not reap. Without the seed sown (rock in their shoe) their would be no fruit to harvest.

So I would encourage you to sow some seed today. You may not harvest the seed, but it will never grow to fruition if it isn't planted. See you next week when we will examine Chapter 3 and begin examining methods of sowing the seed!

The Longer I Am Sober

I have a feeling that I know what it is that keeps me sober. I know why I am so active in the recovery community. Not the sober community, because although I commend those who are sober the way that they live their lives, the way that they treat others and even the words from their mouths show that they have no concept of what true recovery is. I mean the work of recovery. It is because the longer that I am sober, the more I owe back to society!

For years I did nothing but take from society and assisted other people in ruining their lives and the lives of those around them. Now that I am in recovery, it is my job to help impact those who are in addiction positively if the opportunity is there. If not, then I lead by example. I am proud to do this, blessed even! I know that I am doing what I was built from the ground up to do.

We all have our calling in life. Some are called to the ministry, some to art and still others to computers. What we need to do is follow our calling and support the calling of others. With that in mind, I would remind everyone that tomorrow is Tuesday, November 1st. I am having the kick off for Better Life in Recovery....the documentary tomorrow evening from 6-8 PM at the KY 3 community room.

To clarify, the kick off is November 1st from 6-8 at 999 West Sunshine in Springfield, Missouri at the KY 3 building in their community room.  So far WKND 88.3 the Wind has promoted it, the Springfield News Leader had an article about it over the weekend and we hope that KY 3 will be doing a piece on it also. I hope to see you there giving your support and seeing what you can do to help us first make the documentary then bring it to the youth who need it!!

The Spackle Theory

So here is the main premise for my blog, web site, the name of my book and the ministry that I would eventually like to get started. It all is based on this and this only. It is what I call Spiritual Spackle, and it includes the Spackle Theory that I have come up with. It has been of vital importance in my new life and my recovery.

Before I get into the Spackle Theory, I want to relate a story from my addiction. When I was younger I was living in a house that I was buying. I was a full blown alcoholic at the time, and I did not really think things through well. That will be evident by the end of this story, probably sooner. I think that I was in a verbal disagreement with my then girlfriend, and I went outside in a huff. When I got outside, I guess that I figured throwing a tantrum and hitting an inanimate object would solve everything.

So, without thinking I punched the side of my house twice. My house was older, and it had wooden siding. When I punched the siding, I put two holes in the side of my house. Obviously, this solved nothing. In actuality, it caused what should have been a much bigger problem. Now, instead of just being in an argument with my girlfriend, I had structural damage to my house.

Luckily, since I was a thinker back then, I had an incredible idea of how to fix the holes. I instantly went inside my house and grabbed duct tape. Presto, problem solved. I no longer had two holes in my outside wall. Instead, I had the eye sore of shiny silver duct tape covering the two holes in my tan colored wall on my house. I did this, and stepped back from the wall thorougly satisfied. I thought that the problem was fixed.

I left the house that way for several years, holes covered with duct tape. The issues did not really present itself again until several years later when I moved. I took the duct tape off of the wall so that I could see what it would take to fix it. It was no longer two holes the size of my fist, but was now two places that were a foot each of soggy and cracked wood. Worse yet was the sheet rock behind the holes. The sheetrock was moldy and water stained from where it had gotten wet and then dried.

In short, the wall that I thought had been covered up and protected was damaged horribly. Just because I could no longer see the hole or the damage that was done does not mean that it was better and the problem no longer existed. Instead, it had continued to be a gaping hole and did nothing but deteriorate and get worse even though it was covered and unseen.

Now what I want you to do is imagine that the issues you have are rain. My fist in this story is trauma that you experience over the course of your life. Finally, the outside wall of my house is representative of your soul. As traumatic things happen to you, they create holes in your soul. These holes are emotional, spiritual and psychological in nature and are created by sexual, physical and emotional abuse. These are the things that hurt you. This is how the major craters that are created in our lives occur.

We get filled with this pain, and it creates emotional and psychological stress. This stress is then turned into anger, depression, anxiety, self-sabotage and guilt; all of which can turn into shame. Our self-esteem dwindles and any positivity that we once had is reduced to negativity and self-loathing. I could go on and on with this description, but I will instead break it down to two words - WE HURT!

So there I am hurt. I discover that when I hurt all I have to do is insert method of escape here. Whether I am a drinker, drug user, gambler, cutter, co-dependent, have an eating disorder or engage in retail therapy (shopping) I can escape from my past. If I like to sleep around, save others by playing superman/woman or I am the perfect candidate for anger management classes I will do the same thing. I will use those things so that I can feel better about myself or numb myself to the pain that I feel. I will use my method to not hurt. It may be fleeting, only lasting minutes or hours, but it will make the hurt go away for a while.

Unfortunately, this method of escaping hurt that we use is a lot like the duct tape in my example at the beginning of this. It may cover the damage on the surface, but what is happening underneath it all? If my best friend slept with the person that I am married to, my grandfather abused me or I was always told that I was no good do my methods of coping really fix the problem?

Of course not, at best it is a temporary solution to a problem that is sure to reoccur. And reoccur it will. The worst part of using duct tape to cover the problem is that there is the illusion that it is better. The reality is that the problem is getting worse and worse underneath. We continue to deteriorate, we continue to beat ourselves up about the past. We dwell on things that we can not change instead of working through them. We do not allow ourselves to grieve what happened to us because we try to act like it did not happen or that we are better.

The truth of the matter is that we never give ourselves the chance to work through our past hurts and hang ups because we do not face them. Every time that they come up, we use our preferred method of escape to avoid them. We cause ourselves untold amounts of depression and anxiety because of the traumas of our past and numbing and ignoring it does us no lasting good. It just mires us in the victim role and we never reach the survivor stage, let alone advance to being a thriver.

Unfortunately, perception for us is reality. Our reality believes that if we do not feel it, that it is better. Our reality eventually learns that by using, we do not have to feel ever. If I can stay self-medicated, I never have to feel hurt again. I am insulated from what others can do to me. No matter what they do, I do not have to feel it. Our reality keeps us sick and insures that our cycle of addiction is never broken.

That false sense of what is true becomes more and more distorted. It eventually reaches the point where we begin to believe that the problem is taken care of. We walk around angry, ashamed, depressed, anxiety-ridden and begin to push those who care about us away.

“But I am better,” we claim.

Just because we claim that there is no problem does not mean that the previous issues become nonexistant. If it rains and I tell you that it is not water coming down on us, does that mean we  won’t get wet. Of course not! Just because there was duct tape on my outside wall, it did not mean that the rain was not still affecting the damage that was already done and making it worse. If it is covered over that does not mean that it is fixed. In order for us to overcome our past, we need to admit it, allow for the grieving process and then heal. Only then can we learn from it and use it to make us stronger and wiser.

There are three stages we can be in due to our past trauma. The first is the victim, who is still stuck in the past and allows the past to hurt them constantly. Then we have the survivor, who has accepted that the past has happened but locks it away and does not really deal with it. Both of these people will be prone to using their preferred methods of coping.

The victim at least acknowledges the pain, but they do not feel they have any control or power to fix it. The survivor is much like the person who has the tiger by the tail and feels like they have succeeded. At any moment that lion can turn around and take a huge bite out of them. Much like the minute that our method of artificially coping goes from being occasional to the focus of our lives.

Lastly we have the thriver role. This is where we want to be. This is the person who not ony accepts what happened to them, but processes it and works it out. It may have been horrific and unfair, but we realize that nothing we can take, do or say will change the fact that it happened. Instead we use what happened to make us first stronger and wiser. But, we do not stop there. We then use what happened in our lives to help others who are hurting and suffering. We give them hope by sharing our experiences and how we have grown from them.

So, what allows us to grow from our past? What do we do to fix the holes that life leaves in us? What is there that was made for that purpose? We need to find something that comforts us and fills those holes instead of just covering them up. Otherwise, we will continue to rely on our traditional methods of escape. I do not want to escape the hurt, I want to learn from it and grow. How about you? Do you want to be defeated by your past, or do you want to work through it so that you can be stronger and wiser?

The Holy Spirit is the one thing that can fix those holes. It is comparable to spackle. Spackle is a substance that is used to fix holes and cracks in walls. The Holy Spirit is the spiritual equivalant of spackle. What spackle is able to do for a wall the Holy Spirit is able to do for our lives! It can allow us to be guided towards happiness. It can give us the comfort that we have never felt from our methods of escaping and numbing. See the blog at: http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2011/05/holy-spirit.html to read about the power the Holy Spirit possesses!

Tithing Part 1

This is the second blog that I have written about my experience with tithing. The first one that I wrote was entitled Tithing Part 2. It is entitled that because on the time line of my life, it happened after my first experience with being faithful in tithing. I know that may sound confusing, but it is really not. You can read about it here: http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2011/05/tithing-part-2.html

When I first got saved, I decided that I needed to tithe. Before I got saved, I was attending church sporadically and would drop $5 or $10 in the basket as it went around. After I got saved I realized that was not enough. I was led to give more. I realized that 10% was an Old Testament concept, and that the New Testament did not state an actual percentage. So, what was I to give and how should I decide that?

2 Corinthians 9:7 says,  “Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”  and Philippians 4:6 directs us also when it says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."


Using those scriptures for guidance, I decided to pray and then tithe what I was led to by my heart. I prayed, and 10% was laid on my heart to give to my church. I have tithed 10% since ever since then, without fail. I like that 2 Corinthians 9:7 says what it does about not giving because we feel compelled to. I don't have to give 10%, I get to give 10%. Tithing is not an obligation, but a privilege. I love the fact that I can contribute to my church and to the ministries that my church funds. I have been blessed, so I share that blessing.

We should never see tithing as a chore, or put saving before tithing. We need to be aware of the importance that we place upon money. Why should we not share our wealth? Luke 12:15 warns us against getting caught up in greed and coveting our money when it says , "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” We are to worship God, not material things. Give, and more will be given to us. Maybe not in this life, but for all eternity in the next one!


Furthermore, 10% is not all that I give. Your monetary tithe to your church is not all that you should give, either! If there are ministries that I want to give to or capital campaigns (like the Pay it Forward campaign that we had at New Life Church), I give over and above the 10%. I do not feel that we are commanded to give 10%, but that is the amount that was laid on my heart to give financially. Also, money is not all that we should be giving away freely!

Galatians 6:2 says, "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." and 1 John 3:17-18 says, "If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth."


This scripture backs up how I feel. Giving of our time is equally if not more important than tithing. I tell my clients that one of the most important things that I have learned in recovery is that community service is not something that is assigned by a judge or a probation officer. It is the act of us giving of ourselves out of a DESIRE to help others, not out of guilt. I think that it is really easy to write a check. It is difficult to give of your free time to help those less fortunate and smile the whole time you are doing it. 


Back to my story. So it was laid on my heart to tithe 10%. I then looked at my finances, and saw that if I tithed as I was being led to, I would only have $50 a week for food and entertainment. I do not mean food like going out to eat food, I mean food like groceries in the fridge and the pantry I would starve without having food. I decided that I could live on that $50 a week, even though at the time I was spending $120 a week on food and entertainment. I would just have to tighten my belt, as they say. No more movies or dining out for me.


That Sunday, I went into church with the amount I was to tithe. I filled out an envelope and dropped it into the basket. I was finally giving to support the church as I felt that I was supposed to. I knew that it would make my life a little difficult, but nowhere does it say that Christ called us to be comfortable. Christ even looks at how giving out of abundance is not nearly as important as giving to the point of being uncomfortable in Luke 12:41-44:
"Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.  Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything-all she had to live on." 
 So I tithed on Sunday. Monday I went into work and as soon as I got to staffing, my boss told me to talk to her after staffing was over in her office. I went to her office and met with her after staffing and got great news. She told me that because I was going to be graduating soon, she was going to give me some more things to do at work. The new responsibilities translated into a different job title and a higher salary. Needless to say, the increase in my pay was over and above what I was tithing. 


Even with tithing 10% on the increase in my pay, I was still taking home more than I was before I began tithing. I was overjoyed, but not  at all surprised. By this time, God had already shown me how powerful He could be. This was just one more way that God has blessed my life, and it is another way that I have to brag on Him. He can do all things, and is happy to do so. 


His grace never ceases to amaze me. There are times now that I am married with a child when the bills are tight and we have trouble making ends meet. We live paycheck to paycheck and are probably two paychecks from being homeless.........but so is almost everybody else. If we are hurting, our tithe is never even mentioned as a something to fore go so as to pay our bills. We look at cutting corners with food, or accepting that we cannot eat out or go see a movie for the rest of the month(or several months). But what if my needs and the needs of my family are not being taken care of?

We must always insure that our family is provided for. Maybe you have been laid off or are having some other form of financial difficulty and cannot afford to put food in the pantry or pay your rent. You are not required to keep giving. For those people, I would give them 1 Timothy 5:12, "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." If you cannot afford to buy food for your family or pay the rent, you should not be giving to the church. In this case, the church should be helping you!


That said, God should always come first and foremost in our lives. If we remain faithful to Him, He will continue to bless us. Do not be confused or let prosperity preacher's mislead you. We are not blessed by what we give, we are blessed by grace which cannot be earned or bought. Tithing does not equal salvation! You can tithe and still not be saved. 1 Corinthians 13:3 states, "If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."  

In summary, tithing does not have to be 10%. Tithing needs to be the amount that God places on your heart after you pray for direction and guidance. You should seek God's counsel before making any decisions, financial or otherwise, then follow it. If you cannot give what God lays on your heart to give, then you need to reexamine your lifestyle and your spending habits and revisit the difference between wants and needs. In case of emergency, there may be times that some people need help financially from the church instead of helping the church. Perfectly acceptable, life happens! In these times, I would recommend that as a good time to focus on volunteering your time to help others (not that you shouldn't always give of your time). Lastly, do not only give financially, but also give freely of your time. Do all of this not out of obligation but out of love! Thanks for reading!!

The Introduction to My Book Spiritual Spackle that I am currently writing

What is Spiritual Spackle, you may be wondering. Spiritual Spackle is the way that the Holy Spirit works in our lives to help us through the ups and downs that this world throws at us. It is how, through a partnership with the Holy Spirit, we can have the ability to: put down the beer, the heroin, the third helping of chocolate cake, or the credit card. It allows us to let go of the anger, shame and insecurities. Through this relationship we can stop having premarital sex or affairs. We can focus on ourselves and what we need to change instead of focusing on everyone else. It is what supplies us with faith, hope, compassion and love. 


 Later in Chapter 16 I will get deeper into defining the meaning of Spiritual Spackle, both what it means and how it works to overcome addictions and heartaches (life consuming issues). Spiritual Spackle has it’s own chapter because it is that important to overcoming our hurts, addictions and other things that keep us separated from God. And yes, I do believe that we can separate ourselves from God, he never leaves us but we can have actions that remove us from Him. 


This is not a book that will tell you that once you are saved, you are always saved. The Bible dispels that myth numerous times, such as in Matthew 16:27 where it says, “For the Son of Man is going to come in His Father's glory with His angels, and then He will reward each person according to what he has done." and 2 Timothy 2:12 states, “if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us.” and finally in Matthew 7:21-23, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!” If you want fluff, you will be better off reading a romance novel. 
I believe that God loves us, and because He loves us he wants us to put Him first in ALL that we do. Not some of what we do, but in every aspect of our lives. Matthew 22:37, Luke 10:27 and Mark 12:30 say that the most important commandment is to love God with all of our heart, mind, strength and soul. God comes first and foremost in our lives. 


In this beginning part I want to explain why this book was written and what makes up the 20 plus chapters that it contains in brief. It contains an autobiography of my life: from growing up a Jehovah’s Witness in what I considered to be a normal family, to becoming an abused child who liked to fight and enjoyed pain, transitioning into a drug addicted agnostic convict and from there to a realization that I was a child of God that was promised eternal live if I accepted Christ, made changes and lived my life right. 


My life story is juxtaposed with how Christ and the Holy Spirit have worked in my life and the changes that God has wrought through out my life to allow me to no longer look at myself as an addict or a convict. It also contains the theories, both Spirit given and Biblically founded, that were the biggest factors in my life changing. With the help of God leading me I came to realize that I wasn’t born to be a good example of how NOT to live one’s life. 


Mercy Me, in their song entitled Beautiful, say “You’re Beautiful, you were made for so much more than all of this. You’re beautiful, you are treasured, you are sacred you are His, you’re beautiful.” That is how I see my life in its’ entirety. In my child hood and early adulthood, I was made for so much more than what I had become. In my walk with Christ I have came to realize that my life was bought and is no longer mine, that I was created in the image of Christ and that makes me a beautiful child in God’s eyes.


 I have heard this quote several times attributed to Ethel Waters, “God don’t make no junk,” and I agree with her. We were created to be perfect and we chose not to be. Even though we are not perfect we are still not trash to be thrown out. That said, both the things that happen to us and how we live our lives could make us feel as if we are junk if we allow them to. I allowed my past to control my present and to insure that I did not have any hope for a future. I was known to brag that if there was a hell, that is where I was going. 


Now that I am positively living my life by putting Christ first I want to share how that transformation was made possible, how what I thought was impossible became a viable option. In fact, living life well and enjoying it became the only option that I could see once my blinders were removed. It was not easy at first, but then I would tell you that there is rarely anything in life that does come easy. Ultimately, it was a lot easier than I tried to make it. 


I tried to make living my life better a much more difficult task than it really was. I tried to take control of my life to enact the changes I felt needed to be made, and I wound up making my life a complete sham. If nothing else, I made my life worse. I lied to all of those who were close to me, I was afraid to tell people who I truly was out of fear that they would reject me, that they would not like me for me. What I found out was quite the opposite. My true friends respected me more for being honest and open with them. In the end, my being honest with people, accepting that God had a purpose for my life and the realization that it was not for me to know what it was but to stop asking questions and start making changes that began with the addition of one primary rule in my life that the miracle happened. 


I will get into that one primary rule that really helped me begin living my life as a Christian in Chapter 15. It is so simple but yet we can make it very difficult. I have had to learn to swallow my pride, which was much larger than I had ever realized. I took pride in my criminality, in my drug usage, in being violent, in being a drug dealer, in sleeping around, in being classified as having an antisocial personality disorder and in having multiple mental health diagnosis. I was proud of my deficiencies because it was all that I thought I had. 


I hit rock bottom several times. Several of my rock bottoms were cavernous, what some would see as Grand Canyons. I would always come back up somehow, and then find ways to make my previous rock bottom look like a shallow hole. I could not, by using only my self and the prescribed generic Higher Power of my understanding that I was equipped with as an agnostic, keep myself out of trouble. In fact I am certain that it kept me in trouble. 


I was still miserable; I could not really stand myself. I had to figure out somehow that my life was worth something, that all of the horrific things that had either happened to me or that I had done to others had a purpose. The writing of this book, how I live my life now and my goal to travel and speak both motivationally and inspirationally  at conferences/churches/recovery centers/halfway houses/homeless shelters/schools/colleges are a major part of that purpose. 


If I can share with others how I went from me being considered both by others and by myself the dregs of society to a life that others are inspired by where I am guaranteed salvation, where I am no longer owned by addiction than I have lived a great life. If sharing that brings one Christian into a closer relationship with Christ, or gives one addict the courage to accept Christ into their life, or gives one convict a glimmer of hope that their life can change for the better than that is one of my purposes for life………..and the sole purpose for writing this book.

Countries

This is a list of countries that have visited the Spiritual Spackle site, and I will add more as they visit. I am amazed at the different places that have visited to read about everything from the power of the Holy Spirit to Christ's Grace to Apologetics to the dangers of addiction and ways to overcome it. This site is my outreach to those who suffer from the consequences of life in this world, whether it is childhood abuse, addiction, grief and loss, anger, bad relationships, depression and other things that are thrown at us to separate us from Christ. I also look to build upon my faith and strengthen not only mine but those who read. Only the Holy Spirit will suffice in healing us and instilling life-changing hope. Everything else is only temporary!

1. Albania 
2. Algeria
3. American Samoa
4. Antigua and Barbuda
5. Argentina
6. Armenia
7. Aruba
8. Australia
9. Austria
10. Azerbaijan
11. Bahamas
12. Bahrain
13. Bangladesh
14. Barbados
15. Belgium
16. Bermuda
17. Botswana
18. Brazil
19. Bulgaria
20. Cambodia
21. Canada
22. Chile
23. China
24. Colombia
25. Congo [DRC]
26. Costa Rica
27. Cyprus
28. Czech Republic
29. Damascus
30. Denmark
31. Dominica
32. Dominican Republic
33. Ecuador
34. Egypt
35. El Salvador
36. Estonia
37. Fiji
38. Finland
39. France
40. Gabon
41. Georgia
42. Germany
43. Ghana
44. Greece
45. Guam
46. Guatemala 
47. Guyana
48. Haiti
49. Honduras
50. Hong Kong
51. Hungary
52. Iceland
53. India
54. Indonesia
55. Iran
56. Iraq
57. Ireland
58. Isle of Man
59. Israel
60. Italy
61. Jamaica
62. Japan
63. Jordan
64. Kazakhstan
65. Kenya
66. Latvia
67. Lebanon
68. Lesotho
69. Lithuania
70. Luxembourg
71. Macedonia (FYROM)
72. Malawi
73. Malaysia
74. Maldives
75. Malta
76. Mauritius
77. Mexico
78. Micronesia
79. Moldova
80. Montenegro
81. Namibia
82. Nepal
83. Netherlands
84. New Zealand
85. Nigeria
86. Norway
87. Pakistan
88. Palestine
89. Panama
90. Papua New Guinea
91. Peru
92. Philippines
93. Poland
94. Portugal
95. Puerto Rico
96. Romania
97. Russia
98. Saudi Arabia
99. Serbia
100. Seychelles
101. Singapore
102. Slovakia
103. Slovenia
104. South Africa
105. South Korea
106. Spain
107. Sri Lanka
108. Swaziland
109. Sweden
110. Switzerland
111. Taiwan
112. Tanzania
113. Thailand
114. Trinidad and Tabago
115. Tunisia
116. Turkey
117. Turks and Caicos Islands
118. Uganda
119. Ukraine
120. United Arab Emirates
121. United Kingdom
122. United States
123. Uruguay
124. Venezuela
125. Vietnam
126. Zambia
127. Zimbabwe

Leap of Faith

I need to thank one of my friends, Greg West. He is a pretty smart guy that I have liked since our first meetings, and yesterday I was truly inspired by him and what he is doing. He is the leader of the small group that I am involved in, The Truth Project. He is also someone that I have found myself talking to at church, along with his wife Brooke, for several reasons. The primary reason is because they always seem to be happy and (my personal favorite word) optimistic. That makes them two people that I seek out to speak to. I find joy in my optimism, and I know that it could always be better. If you want to continue moving forward in life, be around people who have things that you want. Maybe they will rub off on you! Greg and his wife have been rubbing off on me.

This is where Greg comes in. He has a site that is awesome and I would highly recommend looking at , www.thepoachedegg.net. I found out something that I did not know about Greg. As I talked about the situation that Julie and I found ourselves talking about, Greg’s wife Brooke got a look on her face. When I inquired about her look, she gave me a big smile. She told me that Greg had taken a huge leap of faith several months ago, and told me what it was. I will not get into what his leap of faith is. That is his story. What I will tell you is that Greg put himself in a position where he had to rely on God or face some monumental struggles, and God has come through for him. It gave me the added inspiration that I needed to continue doing what I am doing, as well as renewed my faith in the people around me. I love the people that God is surrounding me with.

I did begin to ask myself whether or not there are many people in the United States who would take a huge risk. How many of us would be willing to throw down what we do? How many of us would quit our jobs to do what we feel God is leading us to do if it would place not only financial strain, but put us at risk of complete and utter financial ruin. I mean the kind where you might lose all that you have. I do not think that there are many out there who would risk this. I began to think that there might not be any. When have many of us here in America had to truly rely on God, put complete faith in Him? How many of us abroad have had to do that, would do that, if they felt that the Holy Spirit was leading them that way?

I thought it through, and the way that I saw it was that God provides when we do His will. She was quick to ask me if maybe I am doing what God wants me to do where I work currently. I will admit that I may be doing what I am supposed to. I was built from the ground up to do what I do; it has been what my past has molded me in to. The career I have now is not enough for me, I want to do more with the rest of my life. I feel that I spent so much of my life taking from society, and I want to give back. I want to be able to reach people on a grander scale than I do now. I told her that I would wait until after my book is published, but that I may not make the decision that she wants after it gets published.

So, I throw caution to the wind, and I do not think of the consequences.  My wife is just the opposite. There is a reason that she handles the money and pays the bills, I can’t. I could try, but I am generally too busy with some project to do something as important and practical as paying the bills. I am a changed man, but not a responsible one. There are definitely many reasons that I have been blessed with Julie in my life, and this is one of them. I started thinking that I could just do this full-time and money would take care of itself. My wife decided in the evening that she would remind me about bills, house and car payments, groceries, taking care of DJ, etc. and that maybe we would not have those things if I did not think it through.

When the idea first struck me and I talked to my wife about it, everything went great. She was smiling and agreed that this sounded like a great idea. As the day progressed and I began to do what I do, which is completely throw myself into everything that comes my way, there started to be a voice of reason in my ear. Yes, it was my wife’s voice. Just so you know, my wife is practical and I am very much a manic prone Bi-Polar type person. This means that on occasion I would actually agree with at least one of my mental health diagnosis.

With that said, I must tell you that Sunday when I had my epiphany there was a dichotomy that occurred between my wife and I. It did not happen right away, but it gradually developed. I was overcome by what I was to do with my life. Suddenly I knew that my purpose in life was to finish my book, then to travel and share my life’s history. To share with other’s the incredible power that the Holy Spirit has been as it has worked in me to recreate who I am so that other’s can be blessed and filled with hope and inspiration. That is what struck me on that bicycle ride as my purpose in life.