The Platinum Rule

Most of us know the Golden Rule, or ethic of reciprocity, "Do unto others as you would have them do to you." That was a quote attributed to Jesus in the New Testament. That sounds great, doesn't it? It sounds so good that you can find it in just about any other religion as well:

• Judaism, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
• Confucianism, "Try your best to treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself." 
• Hinduism, "One should not behave towards others in a way which is disagreeable to oneself." 
• Islam, "Not one of you is a believer until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." 
• Jainism, "A man should wander about treating all creatures as he himself would be treated." 
• Buddhism, "Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find harmful."

I have heard this saying multiple times throughout my life. I seldom saw it applied so I never really took the time to think it out. It did not register with me because I knew no one would want to be treated as I thought I should be. As a child who was physically and sexually abused as a child, I always felt less then. I expected to be treated poorly and looked down on by people. I thought that was my penance for the sexual abuse I had undergone. I was dirty and disgusting and I deserved to be whatever I got because of it. I never once doubted the beatings I underwent were not deserved. I thought that I deserved to be hurt. I was an outcast.

As I grew up, I became very angry and violent. The saying I heard was, "Do unto others as they would do unto you, but be first." That became my motto. In my addiction, my anger and self-loathing grew. I could only find happiness in chaos and that was fleeting at best. I wanted to die, and tried to put myself in countless situations were that would happen. In fact, I tried to kill myself once and almost succeeded. I wanted people to hurt me. I wanted someone to kill me. So at this point, I am sure you can see how the Golden Rule would have not been very Golden of me to follow.

As I got sober, I still believed that I deserved to hurt. I felt that I deserved pain for all of the people I had hurt. After all, there was a massive trail of broken lives in the wake of the tornado my addiction had created. I was actually going to see a dominatrix when I first sobered up. Then the Golden Rule was reintroduced to me by my sponsor. I still had trouble understanding it.

Next he introduced me to the Silver Rule, thinking I could understand that better. The Silver Rule posits, "One shouldn't treat others in a way they would not like to be treated." This still did not work due to my low self-esteem and disappointment in myself. I knew that I deserved all the bad I had gotten in my life and a lot more. When bad things happened, I chalked them up to karma and me reaping what I had sowed.

As I stepped into recovery, that just did not work for me. I had to become more positive, and making amends as I worked through the steps helped me, but I needed more. What I discovered was, as much as I disliked myself I loved my sister. At the time she was the person I loved the most. I did not ever want to see someone mistreat her. Even in my addiction, I always had her back. This is where I came up with the Platinum Rule:

TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO TREAT THE PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT MOST

That was all it took to get me to understand the Golden Rule and apply it to my life in early recovery. When I had my son, he was added as a person I care about the most. Then I got married and my wife was added to the list, then my daughter was added after her birth. That expanded my list and made most situations I would find myself in very easy to come up with the right answer to. How did I apply the Platinum Rule? Here are a few examples:

1. Would I want someone to gossip about my sister and spread rumors about her? NO! I would want them to come to her with their problem so that it could be worked out. Therefore, I try not gossip about other people behind their backs and come to them when I have problems. 
2. Would I want someone to beat up my son because they were told that he wronged them? NO! I would want them to be handle the situation like adults instead of hotheaded children. So when I hear someone wrongs me, instead of hurting them as I did in the past I try to talk to them and find out the truth of what is going on. 
3. Would I want someone to yell at my wife if they had a problem with her? NO! I would want them to treat her with respect. So I don't yell at people when I have a problem with them, instead I calmly talk to them so we can squash the issue. 
4. Would I want someone to break into my daughter's house and steal from her? NO! By process of elimination I do not steal from other people. 

As you can see, the Platinum Rule works for just about any situation that you find yourself in. This rule has made a ton of difference in my recovery. When used properly it takes you a minute before you act. Trust me, for a lot of us that is not a bad thing. I was very impulsive in my past, and I seldom made the wisest choices when I jumped right into things. In fact, 99.9% of the time I made the absolute worst decision. That all has changed due to me changing my thought process. Now I ask myself, "Is this how I would want someone to treat my son, my daughter, my sister, my wife?" If it isn't, then I have no business treating them that way.

As usual, thanks for reading! I hope that this is something that you can apply to your life. Let me know if it helps!!

As a quick disclaimer, this is not the Platinum Rule that is trademarked. That Platinum Rule says that we are to, "Treat others the way they want to be treated." That is a horrible rule, in my opinion. I work with a lot of people who struggle with addictions and mental illnesses. Take me for example. If you were to have treated me how I wanted to be treated 10 years ago, you would have shot me in the head and put me out of my misery. That, or you would have got me high. Bad idea, in my opinion! I definitely don't want the Platinum Rule I discuss confused with that one!
 

I am a Soft, Weak-minded Delusional Christian

Recently I was reading some articles on the problems with Christianity and reasons to abandon the Christian faith and I realized something. I am viewed by many atheists, agnostics and secularists to be soft, weak-minded and delusional. I have faith in a religion that I believe in for many reasons that I did not know. I act and think in ways that I did not realize until several authors were kind enough to inform me of them. Below are several of the reasons that they listed:

Christians believe in God out of Fear

 I had no idea that is why I had become a Christian. In fact, I can honestly say that Hell and fear had nothing to do with it. I became a Christian because I was hopeless and found hope. I had lived a life that was filled with anger and violence. I associated with psychopaths and was actually diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder as well as a masochist and sadomasochist.

Trust me, fear and cowardice are the very last reasons that I would have become a Christian. I would argue that I was agnostic out of fear and cowardice. The thought that I might have to pay for my transgressions or be held accountable for the lives I destroyed and the carnage I left behind kept me mired in addiction. As a Christian I live my life knowing one day I will stand before God and be held accountable for everything. Accountability is a huge part of a Christian's life.

Christianity Prays on Innocent People

I had no idea that I was innocent and prayed upon. Instead, I was a violent criminal addicted to drugs and alcohol that manipulated and used everybody that I came into contact with. I have done things in my life that make me the dregs of society and I did it all knowingly. I used to jokingly say, "If only the good die young, I will probably live forever."

Christianity, instead of praying on the innocent, gives hope to the hopeless and feeds and clothes the needy. They do attempt to give hope and faith to those who have been abused and taken advantage of, by funding homeless shelters and homes for abused women. How dare them!!

Christians Witness Too Much

This one cracks me up. Everybody witnesses too much. Pro-Choice people wax on about it being a women's body, and Pro-Life people say it's a life.. Those for guns constantly preach about their need while those for gun control witness about the damage they do in society. Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians, Anarchists, etc all witness on and on about their form of government/non-government being the best and why. 

Secularists, humanists, agnostics and atheists recently had a Reason Rally where the leaders in their fields witnessed about their beliefs and were encouraged those in attendance to destroy Christianity by mocking and ridiculing Christians. That sounds a lot like witnessing to me. It actually sounds more like hate mongering. The difference is that when I witness about my faith, I do so to give people hope not to destroy what hope they have. 

Christians are Arrogant

Christians believe that they and only they have the right answer. I really cannot argue there. Life is kind of that way as well, but we have become very politically correct and moved away from it. There is some gray in our world, but it is mostly a black and white world. We are fooling ourselves and due to that we have grown soft as a society.

Some schools are no longer giving failing grades, and the students can answer as many times as they need to in order to finally obtain the correct answer. Wait until they hit real life, and they see that in most situations there is a right and a wrong thing to do. If I play a round of golf and I say I shot a 82 and my partner says I shot an 86, one of us is right and the other is wrong. We cannot both be right. The same is true of our beliefs. 

Christians Believe Out of Ignorance/Blind Faith in a Delusional God

Actually, most Christians I know who were saved later in life believe in God due to a personal experience they have had. That is why I have faith there is a God, because of the changes in my life since my transformation from dealing dope to dealing hope.

I am also an analytical person. I need proof of things before I can say I believe in them. Apologetics has done that for me. I now can argue Christianty using history, science and philosophy among other things. Look up fine tuning and cosmological theory to find out more.

Christianity is Cruel and Violent

There have been many killed under the guise of Christianity. There have been many times over that number killed by atheists under the guise of communism. From Pol Pot to Mao to Stalin atheists have slaughtered millions. Nobel Prize winner Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn said, "the main cause of the ruinous revolution that swallowed up some 60 million of our (Russian) people, Men have forgotten God; that's why all this has happened."

I would ignore all of that and recommend that you go to any natural disaster the world over and see the outpouring from the Christian community. Go to many food pantries and see where the bulk of their contributions come from. In fact, most of them were started by Christians as individuals, their organizations or their churches. What a bunch of bullies! 

Christianity is anti-scientific and anti-intellectual

I will only defend this one with a small list of names: Allesandro Volta, Georg Ohm, James Prescott Joule, Lord Kelvin (Volt, Ohm, Joule and Kelvin units named after them), Louis Pasteur (Invented Pasteurization ), Gregor Mendel (father of modern genetics), Francis Collins (director of the National Human Genome Research Institute), Gerhard Ertl (Nobel Prize winner in Chemistry) and William Daniel Phillips (Nobel Prize Laureate in Physics).

Most of the books that I read once I got saved (and trust me going from where I was a decade ago to where I am now I was SAVED!) looked at science, history and philosophy to prove Christianity and they made valid points. I have listed several of them at the bottom. 

Christianity Causes Sexual Frustration

As an agnostic I slept with hundreds of women, literally. I am not bragging, simply being honest. I was in one short term relationship after another, frequently having multiple girlfriends at the same time. I tried to define myself by conquests, as I had no identity otherwise that I was fulfilled through.

I met a women a few months after I got saved, and we dated for over a year before we were married. We did not have sex until our wedding night, and it was amazing. I have been faithful to her and we have an amazing relationship based on more than our carnal desires because we instead focused on our friendship and developed respect for each other. I see her as my mate and not as an object. I am so much more fulfilled sexually now than when I was when I was agnostic. 

Christianity has a Narrow, Legalistic View of Morality

I agree, such a narrow view of morality. We are commanded to do two things above all other, love God and love our neighbors and treat them as we would wish to be treated. That is pretty narrow. Can you believe the concept of people treating everyone with the love and respect they themselves would like to be treated with. If people were to actually live their lives based on what is commonly known as "The Golden Rule" the world would be a much better place. 

In Closing

I am a reasonably intelligent person. I got clean after 20 years of substance abuse and more concussions than I can count on one hand. Before I started college I went to see a neuropsychologist and was told that I had an IQ of 129. I have since gotten an Associates, a double Bachelors in Psychology and Sociology and a Masters in Social Work all while maintaining a 3.79 GPA.

I had a thirst for knowledge most of my life, even in my addictions. I read voraciously because I wanted the religion that my parents believed in to be wrong due to the judgmental and hypocritical attitudes that I had seen from Christians. I was searching for something, though. I reached a point where I was completely drained of hope and knew that I would never stop abusing drugs and living my life the way I did. There was no point in living life by rules if I didn't have to, and as an agnostic I didn't have to. What was the worst thing that would happen? 

So I continue to live my life as an agnostic who was clinically depressed, overcome with the urge to fight while stealing and sleeping from and with anyone and everyone. I was hopeless and hurting and the best that I could hope for was to be numb and not feel and I found that I could do that through my various addictions. 

I tried everything at one point or another to overcome my addictions and my past: residential/outpatient treatment, psychotropic medication, counseling (LPC, psychiatrist, psychologist), jail, prison, house arrest, 12 Step meetings and eventually suicide all to no avail. The day I turned to prayer was the last day I: drank, took drugs other than those prescribed as prescribed, smoked a cigarette, had premarital sex and got into a fight outside of a ring. It was life changing. 

Yet I still had questions. I still had questions and doubts so I have continued to read and study. Here are some of the books I would recommend to you if you have doubts about what to believe:

1. The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel
2. The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel
3. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
4. What's So Amazing About Grace by Philip Yancey
5. Where is God When it Hurts by Philip Yancey 
6. Holman QuickSource Guide to Christian Apologetics by Doug Powell

All I know is that I used to destroy families and lives through the distribution and manufacturing of methamphetamine while reveling in breaking the law and using as many people as I came into contact with. Today I have found happiness in the form of hope. If that makes me a soft, delusional person than I am fine with that. This soft, delusional person has helped countless people get off of drugs, encouraged those who were living criminal lifestyles to get their GEDs and go to college by sharing what I have now with them.

Hi my name is David and I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ who has struggled in the past from the effects of being sexually, emotionally and physically abused as a youth, depression, anxiety, isolation, low self-esteem as well as addictions to drugs, alcohol, sex, violence, criminality, power and food. I have found a Better Life in Recovery and a better life through Christ and so can you.

Are You a Righty or a Lefty?

The question I pose today is a simple one, “Are you the righty or the lefty?” Immediately, most people think of which hand is their predominate one. They will then either say they are right handed or left handed. That is not the question I am asking. Instead, I am asking whether you are the man crucified on the right side of Jesus, or are you the man crucified on the left side of Jesus? Before you answer this question, let us take a look at the passage in the Bible.

Luke 23:32, 33, 39-43 says, "Two others, who were criminals, were led away to be put to death with him. And when they came to the place that is called The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. . . . One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, “Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!” But the other rebuked him, saying, “Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.” And he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.” 

So there are two criminals that were executed with Jesus. I have often wondered why Jesus was not crucified alone. Why were there two others there with Him if not for a reason? I imagine there is something for us to take away from the exchange between Jesus and the other two men, or it would not have been written about. What is it that we can take from the exchange that would apply to our lives?

For starters, we see the differences between the man who was saved and the man who was not! One belittled and bullied while the other displayed reverence. One spoke out of arrogance, the other showed humility. Finally, the man on the left of Jesus displayed disbelief while the man on the right side showed faith.  This is much like the world. When presented with the message of salvation through Christ, some mock and belittle while others display humility and faith.  

Next we need to take a good look at both of these men. They were being crucified, which was not your average way to kill someone back then. It was reserved for the worst criminals, as well as slaves and non-Roman citizens. Those who were considered to be less than or had done horrific things, that is who was executed by crucifixion. In a way, that is what Christians are today. We are not truly citizens of this world. We also are looked at as less than by some members of this world. We are not as intelligent as they are due to our belief and faith.

Much like the criminal on the right, most Christians realize what we are. We are sinners, we have done horrible things and we are aware that we are not worthy of a better life. Yet, as we wallow in our sin we reach out to the one whom we know can redeem us. This is akin to the dying criminal reached out to Jesus and asking that Christ remember him when He came to His kingdom.  

So to be the man on the right we must recognize and accept that we are sinners and as such deserve death. We must in all humility take credit for what we have done, not trying to blame our sins on others. Next comes faith, for we must acknowledge that through God’s mercy and grace all we have done can be forgiven. Finally, we must show our complete reverence to the King of Kings. We must also respect our fellow man yet at the same time not be afraid or ashamed to speak out when it is needed.  

We tend to focus on the middle cross, since Jesus was crucified there. The middle cross represents Christ, our Redeemer and the sacrifice He made so our sins could be forgiven. What Christ did when he was crucified was the greatest act of kindness ever done for man.  Lest we forget it, there were 3 crosses that day on Golgotha for a reason. We need to remember the other two crosses as well. For the cross on the left is symbolic of the nonbelievers of this world while the cross on the right those who have faith in Christ.

So again I ask, “Are you a righty or a lefty?”

Is Christianity Under Attack

I was shocked to see the latest from the Pentagon. Someone in the military who shares their Christian faith can now be court martialed and possibly imprisoned. I guess this is the new form of the military code, except now it is "Don't talk, don't tell." That said, I am just now finding out some new things about Christianity.

I didn't know that Evangelical Christianity is a form of religious extremism comparable to Hamas, the KKK and Al Quaeda according to training given to Army Reserves in Pennsylvania.  http://www.adfmedia.org/files/ExtremismPresentation.pdf For Christians in the military, it gets worse.

“Today, we face incredibly well-funded gangs of fundamentalist Christian monsters who terrorize their fellow Americans by forcing their weaponized and twisted version of Christianity upon their helpless subordinates in our nation’s armed forces.”

That is a quote from Mikey Weinstein,who is the head of the Military Religious Freedom Foundation. He has also said that Christians who share the gospel in the military are guilty of committing an act of “spiritual rape” as serious a crime as “sexual assault.” I wonder how women and men that have been raped would feel about that comparison. I know it shows me his lack of education on the issue. I was Agnostic for over 20 years and when a Christian talked to me about their beliefs it was nothing like getting molested when I was a youth.

The scary thing is that Mr. Weinstein is sitting down with the Pentagon as a consultant to help them develop new policies on religious tolerance.  There does not seem to be too much tolerance coming from Mikey. It is becoming more and more obvious that there may be issues for Christians.

For starters, Christians are held to different standards. While Mr. Weinstein can say whatever he wants about Christians, imagine if Christians spoke the same way about his organization. They would be vilified. If Christians voice opinions about the veracity of the Koran or who Muhammad was they are branded bigots. If Muslims burn Bibles it is considered no big deal.

Take Jason Collins coming out and telling the world he is gay this week. When Tim Tebow prays on the side of the field he is told by the mainstream media, "Keep that to yourself. No one cares." When Jason Collins comes out the media proclaims, "He is a hero." I would argue that both feel that the things they share are a huge part of who they are, so what is the difference?

Then Chris Broussard is asked his opinion about Jason coming out and he is called every name under the sun for giving it. I have a rule, do not ask questions you do not want answers to. That said, it was not like Chris spoke with the kind of malice those posting on his site are displaying.

Christians are facing a day when freedom of speech for them is fading. Christians are told to keep their opinions to themselves and to be tolerant of others. From what I have seen, they are. In fact, they show love and give support in the way of shelter and food to people who live lives that they do not agree with. I believe they say, "Love the sinner hate the sin." Then you have people like Richard Dawkins saying, "Mock them. Ridicule them in public," when speaking about Christians and he is applauded. That does not sound very tolerant.

A quote that I saw attributed to Voltaire said, "To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize." Point being, it would seem that as much as the media shouts about the Christian majority, Christians do not seem to be the ones in power. They are the ones told to be tolerant while everyone else picks on them and calls them names.

Thankfully, Christians continue to give millions upon millions of dollars as well as hours of their time to help those who are struggling. I remember working the Joplin tornado doing psychological first aid and seeing tent upon tent staffed and funded by churches as well as Convoy of Hope and Compassion International semis loaded with supplies. Would have been nice to see some secularists putting forth the same unified effort.

I guess none of this should shock me. It was predicted 2,000 years ago by Jesus in John 15:18-19, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

Holman QuickSource Guide to Christian Apologetics Chapter 1 - What is Apologetics?

For this series we will be looking at Holman QuickSource Guide to Christian Apologetics by Doug Powell. Each week we will examine a chapter of the book and look at what I have learned. My hope is that you will receive a little education and at the same time want to learn more. That thirst for knowledge will lead you to purchasing not only this book, but many more and through studying them and the Bible you will become an Apologist. That is my hope!

You may be wondering what is an Apologist. An apologist is one who delivers a defense. A Christian Apologist is one who delivers a defense of Christianity through Apologetics. What is Apologetics? That is the question of Chapter 1, which tackles that very question. 

Imagine you are in an emergency room seriously ill. The doctor says that unless you get the right antidote, it is always fatal. He than says that all who receive the antidote have a perfect recovery. Perhaps you do not like to take pills or get shots. Your preference is not relevant. The doctor is telling you that the sickness you have only has one remedy and only one way to administer said remedy. Your only choice is whether you live or die, based on your answer to the doctor.

Being misdiagnosed here is deadly. Getting the wrong medication is fatal. Not liking the treatment is not going to change anything. I had a colonoscopy because they I was having some internal issues. It was painful, inconvenient and quite offensive. That said, it was what I needed. Just because it was uncomfortable and drinking the stuff the day before was a huge inconvenience made it no less necessary. 

Christianity is an antidote if it is properly understood. It is not a life style choice or a religious view, but an antidote. It may be inconvenient, socially unacceptable, offensive and even painful at times. But above all if these, it is necessary. Whether you choose to believe it or not, the truth is the truth. You do not have to believe it to make it true. That is why we need to gain an understanding of the situation to understand the antidote's necessity. Doug says, "Jesus is not a cherry flavored cough syrup that works just as well as the lemon flavored Buddha. Belief in Jesus is an extremely invasive heart procedure that brings people to life. And it is the only procedure that will work."

As humans, we have trouble sometimes going to the emergency room. We may have misconceptions, barriers, biases, preconceived notions and objections. "It is the goal of Christian apologetics to remove the hindrances that stand between a person and the cross of Christ." Apologetics is seen by some as pre-evangelism preparing the soil for the gospel and others see it as deeply entwined with the gospel. Regardless of how it is seen, apologetics is a great way to equip the Christian with the tools to answer the tough questions about Christianity. Listed below are a few assumptions you can argue with apologetics:

1. Jesus never lived.
2. Miracles don't exist.
3. There is no proof Jesus was resurrected.
4. Why were books left out of the Bible?
5. Christianity is not reasonable.
6. All religions basically teach the same things.
7. If God is love how can He allow evil?

These are several of the myriad of assumptions and arguments that apologetics will equip you to answer. There are two things that need to be clear about apologetics. First, the goal is not to win at all costs. It is possible to win yet lose by behaving badly. We are to speak truth yet speak it with love. Second, the Holy Spirit saves people, not us. We are to bear witness. The Spirit can then use our witness to open the mind and heart of those who listen. 

To begin our apologetics training, we start by making no assumptions. We can't even talk about Christianity yet. We must first be able to PROVE the existence of God. If we can prove God exists, then we can begin to see which religion has the most accurate description of Him. That is where we will pick up next.  

BLiR VLog From 09/16/2012-09/22/2012

09/16 Greatest Trick the Devil Ever Pulled

09/17 The Bigger Picture AKA The Sistine Chapel

09/18 People Who Matter Don't Judge, People Who Judge Don't Matter

09/19 The New Golden Rule

09/20 Faith Without Works is Dead

09/21 Will I Die Before They Are Grown

09/22 My Passion May Not Be Your Passion

Tactics by Gregory Koukl Chapter 6: Perfecting Columbo

So you are wanting to be able to defend your faith rationally and well, right? When you have tried that in the past you have probably noticed that it is hard to be successful in discussions that you have had. You tend to be unable to do anything that you are unprepared for. If you are faced with new problems you generally have trouble coming up with well thought out solutions on the fly. The reason for that is simple. It takes time and practice to develop any new skill, let alone perfect it.

At first, you will not be able to come up with responses rapidly. Due to that there are 3 specific things that you can do to better prepare yourself:

1. Anticipate in advance what could come up in conversations
2. Reflect after the discussion on what took place
3. Practice the different responses that you are able to think of when you reflect to better prepare you for the next time

Anticipate  ways that the conversations you might get into could go. Look at common themes and/or questions that people tend to ask or use. You will want to look up information on the questions that you have had issues with in the past. The you can come up with several good responses for each of those scenarios. Give yourself several different ways to insure you are in the driver's seat when you have future conversations.

Reflect on each conversation after it happens. Make sure to ask yourself several questions each time. Could I have asked better questions? Could I have steered the conversation in a more beneficial direction? Did I plant a decent sized rock in their shoe? Where did I make mistakes? What could I have done differently? Did I represent myself as a good ambassador for Christ? Do I need to learn more about the topic we discussed? Did I act with enough kindness and grace?

Practice the new information that you find and ideas that you come up with out loud. If you can think of things that someone might possibly use to combat what you say, practice what you will say back. And do it out loud. Work on repeating comebacks, and if you have a friend to help you can even role play the conversations. Remember, do it out loud and often. If you want to get better at anything, the only way is to rehearse it and practice, practice, practice.

There are two things that must happen in order to meet a challenge. You must be prepared and then take action. Preparation gives you the confidence you need, but only through interaction with others will you truly be able to improve your abilities to the level they should be for you to truly be an ambassador for Christ.

Occasionally you may run into someone who tries to use the Columbo on you. Always remember that you  control your side of the discussion. If they are asking leading questions, don't answer them. Ask them why they are using questions to explain their points. Let them know that you want to know their views.

Sometimes you may also be asked a question that is not a question and you must always be prepared for it. It will sound like, "What gives you the right to .....?" or "Who are you to say?" If this happens, let them know that you are confused by the questions. "I get the impression that you think that I've made a mistake. Where did I go wrong?" That, or you can ask them to clarify their question so that you can understand it.

Today we took a look at what we have discussed in the earlier blogs as well as how we can begin to get better and prepare ourselves to be not only ambassadors for Christ, but apologists. This is done by remembering 3 words: anticipate, reflect and practice. Join me next week when we begin the second section of the Tactics and start learning how to find the flaws in others arguments.

Tactics by Gregory Koukl Chapter 5 Step Three: Using Columbo to Lead the Way

You are beginning to use the Columbo tactic in a different way in this chapter. In the past chapters you have not had to have knowledge, but instead have asked for the knowledge of the person you are talking to. You have also not been on the offensive, but have played the conversation defensively by insuring they were responsible for the burden of proof and your views might not even have been known yet. That all changes today!

Today you begin to ask a different type of question, a "leading question." You want to have the other person begin to talk in the direction that you want them to go. This can be done by asking questions. These questions will get the person you are in discussion with to take steps forward towards your way of thinking. You are not forcing your opinions, but are attempting to persuade them.

As you begin to let others know that you are Ambassadors for Christ you will get asked "the question." One where a simple yes will cause you to appear conceited, prejudice and fundamental in the worst sense of the word. That question is, "So you are saying that people who don't believe what you believe are going to Hell?"

That question is not meant to do anything other than discredit you. It is asked to paint you as the worst type of person who is right and every one else is wrong. There is a way to answer this question, but it takes having knowledge. Unless you know why Jesus matters, you will fail. Simply knowing that they need to believe isn't enough. Here is how Greg used his knowledge in a conversation with Guy X:
"Let me ask you a question,"he said. "Do you think that people who commit moral crimes ought to be punished?"
"I guess I do," Guy X replied.
"Good. So do I." Greg said, to agree with Guy X. "Now, a second question: Have you ever committed any moral crimes?"
"Yes, I guess I have."
"So have I," Greg said. "That puts us in a pretty tight spot, doesn't it? We both believe people who do bad things should be punished, and we both believe that we're guilty on that score. Do you know what I call that? I call that bad news. This is were Jesus comes in. WE both know we are guilty. That's the problem. So God offers a solution: a pardon, free of charge. That clemency is on His terms, not ours. Jesus is God's means of pardon. He personally paid the penalty in our place. He took the wrap for our crimes. No one else did that. Only Jesus. Now we have a choice to make. Either we take the pardon and go free, or we turn it down and pay for our crimes ourselves."

In this conversation Greg used the Columbo tactic coupled with his knowledge of what Christ did on the cross and why it was significant for all people. Using the same two things, knowledge and the Columbo tactic will allow you to answer a lot of hard questions, once you learn how to effectively use them.

On occasion you may need to use questions to make conversations that you are in more favorable for you. When it is a controversial issue, begin by saying, "You know, this is actually a very personal question that you're asking. I don't mind answering, but before I do, I want to know if it's safe to offer my views. So let me ask you a question: Do you consider yourself a tolerant or intolerant person on issues like this? Is it safe to give my opinion, or are you going to judge me for my point of view? Do you respect diverse points of view, or do you condemn others for convictions that differ from your own?"

This covers you from being seen as the intolerant one. If they judge you, then by their own admission they are intolerant. Someone who calls you intolerant generally does so because you do not believe as they do. Them disagreeing with you based on their own beliefs makes them intolerant towards you. If this happens to you, there is a simple solution. You can ask them to explain to you why when you think you're right it is intolerance, but when they think they are right it just means that they are right.

In this method, you are using questions to expose flaws/weaknesses and to expose difficulties and problems you see in their views. Unless you know the shortcomings in their arguments, you will not see them. This is why knowledge is the number one requirement for ambassadors of Christ. That said, remember that you are not trying to knock one out of the park every time you have a conversation. Sometimes, simply asking "What do you mean by that?" and "How did you come to that conclusion?" is enough. Just getting off the bench and into the game is often a great start.

There is one flaw that can occur when you begin this step. You run the chance when you go on the offensive as coming across as offensive. Remember what Jesus said in Matthew 10:16, "Be shrewd as serpents, and innocent as doves." This means that you must have the ability to look at someone's view and point out the weaknesses without begin smug or pushy. This can be a difficult task, especially at first.

In order to achieve the inoffensive offensive, you can use the following 3 questions:

1. Have you considered?
2. Can you clear this up for me?
3. Can you help me understand this?

These questions allow you to show respect for the person that you disagree with. You already showed effort with the first two questions. Then you asked for further clarification with, "Do you mind if I ask you a few questions about what you told me?" Finally, you can use a statement such as "It's my understanding that...."
and then explain your position and ask them to share a response. That let's them know that you have a belief, but it is open to discussion.

So know not only can you gather information, but you can also lead people in the direction you want them to go in, all by asking questions. You do need to be informed about the direction you want them to go in, or when they get there you will not be able to find the errors in their way of thinking. PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT!! See you next week when you will learn how to begin perfecting the Columbo techniques.

The Reason Rally: Atheists, Agnostics and Secularists Oh My

I just felt that with the upcoming gathering called the Reason Rally I should put in my .02 worth. After all, they are having it on my birthday. It is amazing that we both have chosen the 24th as the day to have a celebratory gathering. There will be much talking, laughing and music on my birthday. In that the two events will be very similar. That is where the similarities will probably end. We will both be celebrating on the same day, but for a very different reason.

I am having a gathering to celebrate something that I have knowledge of. I know for a fact that the day I exited my mother's womb and took my first breath of fresh air was on March 24th. I have knowledge of what happened. There is no uncertainty or disbelief in my birth or the date that it happened, therefore the gathering of like-minded individuals to celebrate my creation.

The Reason Rally, on the other hand, is gathering to celebrate several things. If atheist, then by definition they are rallying around lack of belief that there is a God. If agnostic, they are gathering to celebrate lacking the knowledge to prove (or disprove) something exists. If secularist they believe that public education and politics should be without religious influence.

I can actually see the gathering of secularists based on the definition. They have an agenda. I cannot for the life of me understand the gathering of atheists and agnostics, and I was for 25 years of my life an agnostic. I would get together with fellow atheists and agnostics to make ourselves feel intellectually superior and to point out the evils of Christians, but not to celebrate all the good that we did. We never really rallied around our beliefs, but instead used our time together to belittle those of "faith."

Hopefully that's not the reason for Reason Rally. According to their site, it will not be. In fact, on the about page the question is raised, "Are we just going to use this opportunity to trash religion?" With the answer given being, "No. This will be a positive experience, focusing on all non-theists have achieved in the past several years."  I wish that were the truth, but I have trouble believing that for several reasons.

For starters, look at the list of speakers they are featuring. Among those speaking are Bill Maher, Paul Provenza  and Richard Dawkins. I dare say that they have hate for Christians. That would be based on the vulgarities they use as well as the names they call Christians. How can you have a positive experience focusing on all that non-theists achieve when you have people featured who use their bully pulpit to call Christians idiots and worse?

Secondly, how is one of your sponsors formally inviting Westboro Baptist Church to the Rally fit in to your expressed agenda? You are claiming that you want to have fun and talk about what non-theists have achieved. Those are mutually exclusive goals. That is sensationalism and media seeking at it's very worst.

Imagine my brother in the Army died in combat. I let everyone know the funeral is a celebration of his life and we want to recognize his service to country. Later that day I send an invitation to WBC asking them to join us in showing our respect to the deceased. It would appear that the expressed purpose in inviting everyone to the funeral was dishonest based on the invitation extended to WBC. Just like the expressed reason for the Reason Rally is sullied with the invite to WBC.

I feel this was done so that the Rally can film two segments. First, here are the non-theists. See how we are polite and speak nicely to each other. We are kind, loving people. Now look at the Christians, how they shout hate speech and wish us ill. We are so maligned by Christianity. Poor us, we are so mistreated and the Christians are so mean.

That is sad! Pointing to WBC and saying that is how Christians are is like me pointing at Mao Zedong, Joseph Stalin, Pol Pot, Benito Mussolini  or Jeffrey Dahmer and saying that is how non-theists are. It would be completely unfair of me to make that blanket accusation. Hope to see those who claim to have reason actually show it at the rally and in the subsequent discussions that they have after it is over.

I truly hope that the Rally helps non-theists figure out ways to improve living conditions around the world. I hope that they discuss all of the humanitarian efforts that they are involved in, and how they can come together for relief efforts and to provide services and basic needs after natural disasters and in areas of high poverty. I would have loved to see tents and semi-trailers from non-theist instituations manned by non-theist volunteers giving out supplies when I was giving psychological first aid in Joplin, but I did not.

Hopefully, that is what Reason Rally is about: helping those less fortunate, struggling with physical and mental illnesses, funding/staffing humanitarian efforts and showing love for their fellow man. Unfortunately, based on the speakers that are there and  the invitation to WBC that was made I am led to believe that they have a completely different agenda.

Top 10 Reasons People Hate Tebow

Last night I was watching the UFC fights. My sincerest apologies go out to Tim, Tom, the Broncos and the Patriots. I am a Chicago Bears fan, and I figured the fights would be more interesting. I have been a huge fan of the UFC since it began, and I was excited to see a couple of the fights. That and I already had plans to have people over to my house for the pay per view.

What I did do was follow the game on my Yahoo! Sportacular IPhone app. I generally follow the chat that goes on during the game on the app too, and it was horrific. There was so many disparaging words that I knew I was not home on the range. They started before the game even began, and as the game continued they got worse. It is amazing that a quarterback has set multiple high school records, won the Heisman trophy as a sophomore and took his team to two national championships but is repeatedly called lucky. Lucky happened to be among some of the best remarks that I read in the chat.

As the Broncos fell further and further behind, the bad mouthing continued to deteriorate. Wow, I had not seen this much vitriol spewed at a man since Obama was elected president. People seem pretty quick to share their hate. Sad when it is done to a guy that gets pile driven into the turf and tells the linebacker "Nice Hit." If he was a rapist or a drug peddler I would understand, but he is a man that is trying to open up a children's hospital in the Philippines and whose foundation supports an orphanage. Wish the haters would do as much to help their fellow man!! I'm not judging, just saying.

I figured that there must be some great reasons that people do not like Tim Tebow (There is an I HATE  Tim Tebow group on Facebook) and I made a plausible (to me at least) list of reasons why he is so disliked:

1. Tim Tebow does not do drugs (C'mon, We need a role model. If you can't lead your team in drug arrests how can you be a team leader?)
2. Tim Tebow has never had a DWI or been arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct (Must not appreciate his wins enough to get drunk and then drive when celebrating them)
3. Tim Tebow has never been convicted or even charged with any felonies (He is too soft for the NFL!)
4. Tim Tebow doesn't raise pit bulls to fight or even run a dog fighting ring (He hates animals so much he will not let them compete)
5. Tim Tebow visits children in hospitals and makes terminally ill kids wishes come true (To mock and belittle them when no one is looking, I'm sure)
6. Tim Tebow has never been seen in a bar fight (What a WUSS!!)
7. Tim Tebow doesn't sleep around or spread STD's (Tim Tebow is selfish and does not share)
8. Tim Tebow does not cuss and is a role model for children (Quit making so many other athletes look bad. How can we say we are not supposed to be role models when he is such a great one)
9. Tim Tebow is building a hospital in the Philippines for children (It's in the Philippines because he hates America, not because he was born there)
10. Tim Tebow has no visible tattoos (He must be afraid of pain)
11. Tim Tebow represents a great ethical and moral standard of living ie Tim Tebow has values (I could never parent that good of a kid, stop making me look bad Tim)
12. Tim Tebow doesn't beat women (I got nothing for this one, I tried but could not come up with a reason to hate on him him for this no matter how hard I had to stretch it. This one is just simply not in the least bit funny.)

The bottom line is this; Tim Tebow IS a role model for our children (at least for mine). If my son graduates from high school and then goes to college and the worst thing people can say about him is that he is a lucky quarterback and too open about his faith than I will consider myself one blessed parent! I look at how many of the professional athletes are getting arrested for drug possession, DWI, rape, assault and child molestation and it hurts me. Many children look up to these people and want to be just like them. At least he lives a life worth imitating!

Tim Tebow is a man who volunteers and donates loads of time and money and has never been attached to a crime or scandal. He is a role model in every sense of the term and he is hated on? If I was an atheist or agnostic (which I once was) I could still use how he acts in his life as an example to my son. I would talk to my son about why he represents his beliefs so openly and encourage my son to do the same with his beliefs. Don't hate, emulate!!

P.S. - Shout out to Edson Barboza for one of the coolest knock outs ever. Then mad props to Barboza for giving all glory to Christ. Classy guy, and just like Tebow I bet that he would have prayed in defeat too. We know we get more strength and wisdom from the loses than the wins!

PRAYER Pt. 1: Definition of Prayer

I guess that the best way to start off a series on prayer would be to define prayer. After all, it is hard to talk about something if we do not have a good idea what exactly we are talking about. So, what is prayer? Here are the definitions found on dictionary.com:

1. a devout petition to God or an object of worship.
2. a spiritual communion with God or an object of worship, as in supplication, thanksgiving, adoration,  or confession.
3. the act or practice of praying to God or an object of worship.
4. a formula or sequence of words used in or appointed for praying: the Lord's Prayer.
5. prayers, a religious observance, either public or private, consisting wholly or mainly of prayer.

Over the course of this series we are going to talk about the Christian concept of prayer. So we can rule out object of worship. Based on several scriptures we can also rule out formula or sequence of words. Honestly these definitions work, but not well. To learn about the concept of prayer to God, we should see what He says about it in His Living Word. So, what does the Bible say about prayer?

1 John 5:14-15 says, "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of Him."

1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, "Pray continually."

John 16:23, "In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name."

We have made prayer much more complicated yet easier than it needs to be. I know that I suffer from this. I have no problem praying on my own, but get really nervous when I am praying outloud in the midst of others. I get nervous when I pray over food if the table has people I do not know at it. It is even more nerve-wracking for me when I am doing intercessory prayer (praying on behalf of someone else) in a group or I am praying with someone else out loud.

Prayer should not be this way. Prayer is not that difficult a thing to do, but in order to do it it must be understood. I fear things that I do not know or understand well. Math and spiders are the two examples I have. One of them I do not understand well, and the other I have never had any reason to learn about. Therefore I am intimidated and scared by them. I no longer want to be intimidated by prayer. 


This series is an opportunity for me to learn more about what prayer is and share that knowledge with you. It is me realizing that not only do I not know enough about prayer, but that I am pretty sure I do not pray often enough and need to pray more. But in order to pray, I should understand what prayer is. So what is my definition of prayer?

Prayers are frequent conversations of meaning and purpose with our Heavenly Father in the name of His Son Jesus Christ that are sincere and filled with an attitude of gratitude, reverence, love, faith, humility and thanksgiving which allows us to let our needs be known while deepening our relationship with God.

The bottom line is this: Prayer IS an ongoing  conversation with God. Plain and simple, prayer is talking to God. Imagine having God on speed dial, "Siri, call Jehovah." Instantly, I have God on the other end and I can have a conversation with him where I pour my heart out. Just like your best friend, you should want to talk to God over the course of the day and share your life with Him. Prayer is showing that you are dependent on God. You are confiding in God, building your relationship and letting Him know that you need Him. Not praying is trying to live independent of God, telling Him that you don't want Him and you don't need Him.

What If God Answered Your Prayer (This is borrowed and humorous but true)

The Lord's Prayer (God's voice is Highlighted)

Our Father Who Art In Heaven .
Yes?
Don't interrupt me . I'm praying .
But -- you called  - ME!
Called you?
No, I didn't call you .
I'm praying . 

Our Father who art in Heaven .
There -- you did it again!
Did what?
Called ME .
You said,
"Our Father who art in Heaven"
Well, here I am . . . . What's on your mind?
But I didn't mean anything by it .
I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day .
I always say the Lord's Prayer .
It makes me feel good,
kind of like fulfilling a duty .
Well, all right .
Go on . 

Okay, Hallowed be thy name .
Hold it right there . What do you mean by that?
By what?
By "Hallowed be thy name"? 
It means, it means . . good grief,   
I don't know what it means .
How in the world should I know?
It's just a part of the prayer .
By the way, what does it mean? 
It means honored, holy, wonderful .
Hey, that makes sense . .   
I never thought about what 'hallowed' meant before .
Thanks . 

Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in Heaven .
Do you really mean that?
Sure, why not?
What are you doing about it?
Doing? Why, nothing, I guess . 
I just think it would be kind of neat if you got   
control, of everything down here like you have up   
there .   We're kinda in a mess down here you know .
Yes, I know; but, have I got control of you?
Well, I go to church .
That isn't what I asked you .
What about your bad temper?
You've really got a problem there, you know .
And then there's the way you spend 
your money -- all on yourself . And what about the kind of books you read ?
Now hold on just a minute!
Stop picking on me!
I'm just as good as some of the rest 
of those People at church! 
Excuse ME . .
I thought you were praying
for my will to be done .
If that is to happen,
it will have to start with the ones
who are praying for it . Like you -- for example .
Oh, all right . I guess I do have some hang-ups . 
Now that you mention it,
I could probably name some others .
So could I .
I haven't thought about it very much until now, 
but I really would like to cut out some of those things .
I would like to, you know, be really free .
Good .
Now we're getting somewhere . 
We'll work together -- You and  ME .  I'm proud of You .
Look, Lord, if you don't mind,
I need to finish up here .
This is taking a lot longer than it usually does . 

Give us this day, our daily bread .
You need to cut out the bread . . You're overweight as it is .
Hey, wait a minute! What is this?
Here I was doing my religious duty,
and all of a sudden you break in
and remind me of all my hang-ups .
Praying is a dangerous thing .
You just might get what you ask for .
Remember, you called ME -- and here I am .
It's too late to stop now .
Keep praying .   ( pause . . . ) Well, go on .
I'm scared to .
Scared? Of what?
I know what you'll say .
Try ME . 

Forgive us our sins, 
as we forgive those who sin against us . 
What about Ann?
See? I knew it!
I knew you would bring her up!
Why, Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories .
She never paid back the money she owes me .
I've sworn to get even with her!
But  -- your prayer --What about your prayer?
I didn't -- mean it . .
Well, at least you're honest .
But, it's quite a load carrying around all that  bitterness and resentment isn't it?
Yes, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even with her .
Boy, have I got some plans for her .
She'll wish she had never been born .
No, you won't feel any better .
You'll feel worse .
Revenge isn't sweet .
You know how unhappy you are -- Well, I can change that .
You can? How?
Forgive Ann .
Then, I'l l forgive you;
And the hate and the sin,
will be Ann's problem -- not yours .
You will have settled the problem as far as you are concerned .
Oh, you know, you're right .
You always are .
And more than I want revenge,
I want to be right with You . . (sigh) .
All right, all right . .
I forgive her .
How do you feel?
Hmmmm . Well, not bad .
Not bad at all!
In fact, I feel pretty great!
You know, I don't think I'll go to bed uptight tonight .
I haven't been getting much rest, you know .
Yeah, I know .
But, you're not through with your prayer, are you?  Go on . . . .
Oh, all right . 

And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil .
Good! Good! I'll do that .
Just don't put yourself in a place where you can be tempted .
What do you mean by that?
You know what I mean .
Yeah . I know .
Okay .
Go ahead . . . Finish your prayer . 

For Thine is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory forever .
Amen .
Do you know what would bring me glory --  What would really make me happy?
No, but I'd like to know .
I want to please you now . .
I've really made a mess of things . .
I want to truly follow you . . .
I can see now how great that would be .
So, tell me . . .
How do I make you happy?
YOU  just did . 

Romans 8: If You Have to Justify What You're Doing, Don't Do It!!!

PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ THIS EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT AN ADDICT or SINGLE. IT APPLIES TO EVERYBODY!!

Today I was listening to a client as she sat at lunch and defended her new boyfriend to the people at her table. As I listened, I had an epiphany. If I feel the need to defend and justify my choices and decisions before I am even confronted on them, I probably have made the the wrong choice. This may sound wrong, but let me give you an example.

Imagine I am Client X, and I am single. I have an open case with Children's Division or I am on probation. Maybe I am on probation and have an open case with Children's Division, or maybe I am just fresh into my period of sobriety. I begin dating. The person I am dating is on probation/parole and is sober but has a history with addiction issues.

Everbody else sees this as a problem. I do not. Instead I begin to justify my choice. "Who is _______ (fill in the blank with whoever fits ie judge, probation officer, case worker, your friends and family, etc.) to judge my choices. I am sober, and I expect people to give me the benefit of the doubt." This is followed by, "I don't want people to judge me by my past and always hold it against me. I would not want someone to not date me because of my past." These are my justifications to date people I probably should not, and to me they sound sane.

To others, they have their reasons for being concerned. "So this is the company you choose to keep and have around your children." "What, were there not any better choices out there?"  "Is your dating service mugshots.com?" "Why are you drawn to the same type of person over and over. You know how it has always ended in the past!" "Why do you not hold out for better. If you date someone just like you it is easy to relapse, recidivate and backslide."

The truth is, we should want better for ourselves. Maybe this is because I married up and I wish everyone else would do the same. I did not settle for Ms. Right Now, I held out for Ms. Right! The same is true for all of my decisions. Before I make any decision, I ask myself if this is a choice that I am going to have to justify to people. If it is, I DON"T DO IT!!!!

If I am living a moral Christian life, I should not have to justify my choices. I am led by the Spirit in all that I do. I will pray on my choices, and then wait for the whisper of God and the direction of the Holy Spirit to guide me. If God is for me (and behind my choices), then none can stand against them(Romans 8:31). If I know the choice I am compelled to make is because I am acting as the hands and feet of God then I need not justify my choices.

Read the entire 8th Chapter of Romans http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+8&version=NIV for more about this. If I live my life based off of what the spirit desires instead of what the flesh desires, I am justified in all that I do. If I am justified in my actions, I do not feel the need to justify my actions.

The Art of Intelligently Speaking or Why We Fight so Often

I feel that far too often the discussions people have with each other suffer because they are done poorly. The more strongly we feel or passionate we are about the subject, the more the discussion is affected by two problems. I know that I am at fault when it comes to this, too. I am not as bad as I used to be, because I have become aware of the problem and I am trying to stop doing them. Wonder what they are? We do not listen and respond well! What do I mean by this? Let us look at this in the realm of what we believe in.

Let's assume we are talking to someone that has a completely different belief than we do. We will be more than willing to share our view point, but when it comes to the other person sharing we will check out. We will ignore what they are saying. Our eyes glaze over, and it becomes apparent that we are unwilling to listen to them but demand that they hear us. That is simply rude and highly condescending behavior. "My view is important, yours.......not so much," we are seen as saying.

What I am learning is that in order to have an informed discussion and not sound like an idiot, I need to know both sides. How can I defend my position if I do not know theirs? How can I expect you to respect me when I do not show you the same accord. Like my Big Book says, we reap what we sow. I should hear you out if I expect you to hear me out. I should hear you out even if I expect you not to listen to me. Furthermore, I should never stoop to the level of someone who is treating me rudely.

Another way that we show we are not listening is by interrupting the other speaker. I will get angry if they attempted to interrupt me while I am speaking. Yet let them speak, and before 5 words are out of their mouth I am already talking over them. This is disrespectful and shows a lack regard for other people. Some times it appears that we are playing a form of verbal double-dutch, just waiting for the first open spot to jump in to. That is not conducive to a discussion.

In the book "Chicken Soup for the Soul" they talk about breathing. I have found that to be a good practice. When someone finishes speaking, I take a deep breath before I talk. This does a couple of things. One, it allows the person speaking to continue speaking if they were not done i.e. they were taking a breath or collecting their own thoughts. Two, it allows me to fully process all of what they just said and then speak a coherent thought instead of jumping right in and showing our disrespect. Third, it gives them the impression that I was listening to what they were saying, which makes them more likely to listen to me.

Next we have those who get angry, cuss or call the other person an idiot. This may not be the case, but it makes it appear that you are either fearful or uninformed about your own belief system. We will have someone call our belief into question and instantly we react poorly. I have seen people professing Christianity cussing at an Atheist. That proves the Atheist's point. We tend to get angry when we either are unsure of our own belief system, we cannot defend it well enough to the person we are discussing it with or we lack compassion. I often have conversations with people who do not understand what I am saying or how I am explaining things. That is not something to belittle someone over. Those who do are cruel and pretentious.

In order to not get angry I have had to do several things. First, I have had to learn more about my belief system. Then I had to learn more about others belief systems and their theories on creation, how we are here and why we are here. I also had to remember that I could not expect someone to listen to me or respect me if I was yelling at them or belittling them. I was disrespecting myself, them and Christ by the way I was talking to them. 


I had a philosophy professor who defined intelligence as the ability to know both sides equally. The more I know about other beliefs, the more firmly I believe in my own belief. That is where apologetics comes into play. It allows me to know not only my side but also the other side. How can I possibly hope to not only explain myself well, but possibly convert someone else if I have no clue about their beliefs. So in closing I remind you to do a couple of things. 

1. Become an Apologist and study Christianity as well as the belief systems of others
2. Hear others out (Listen when they speak)
3. Don't forget to breathe 
4. Don't take it personally
5. Maintain proper decorum (don't yell, cuss, name call or belittle the others beliefs)

Why Apologetics is Important pt 1

This is the message I got the other day from one of my friends from high school:

    "we've been friends for years...and I know you already posted a blog about going from educated atheist to converted christian..but I can't seem to make sense of the transition. I would love an opportunity to sit down and talk to you about it, as I feel I might be searching, as we all are. I'm super proud of you and ecstatic for your new found happiness. Let me know if we can meet within your busy schedule. Thanks"


I want to let you know why I feel that apologetics is of vital importance in every Christians life. For starters, believing in something without looking into it is irrational at best, and closer to lunacy. To all of those who tell you, "All you need is faith" I take issue with. They don't truly understand what faith is. Faith is defined as something that you have complete confidence in. I cannot blindly have complete confidence in anything. Therefore we research things and then we think on them. Only then can we begin to intelligently share with others what we know to be true.

We need to be able to intelligently articulate why we believe what we believe. There are three major reasons for this. One of those reasons it to make our own faith stronger. Another reason it is of importance is that we can strengthen the faith of fellow believers by giving them answers to their questions. We can reassure someone who is having doubts about their faith by giving them the answers they are searching for. How awesome to be able to help those who are having doubts or are just coming to believe in Christ.

Last but not least, the final reason is so that we can have intelligent discussions with nonbelievers. This is the reason that I will talk about today for it is very important. It can be the difference between someone converting to Christianity and someone continuing to be an atheist or agnostic. That is a big deal, for we are to bring people to Christ. We are to witness to the world around us. We need to do this out of compassion and kindness, or we will not be heard. That can only come from having a firm foundation and understanding of what we believe and why we believe it.

Have you ever seen the person, whether Christian or atheist, who gets angry when someone does not believe in what they believe in. They resort to name calling, shouting, even cursing at the person to get their point across. "How can you be such an idiot. You are wrong," and then they storm off. That is what happens when we do not have knowledge and a firm foundation to speak from, we get mad. That foundation allows us to be informed and relevant.

It is the difference between sharing your personal knowledge and research with someone instead of simply hitting them over the head with the Bible. I should know, that method was tried on me a time or two to no avail. "But it says so right here in the Bible," my roommate would yell at me. If they do not believe in God, they will definitely not believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God. If they do not believe that the Bible is an inspired work, they will believe that the Bible is a work of fiction. For some reason, using a book that people believe is a work of fiction to prove your point is insufficient to intelligent people.

Also apologetics can simply be the difference between telling someone that this is what your pastor says, so it is true. Man is fallible, so he can and will be wrong. Even your pastor can and will be wrong on occasion. That means we should not take everything he says at face value. We need to research so that we ourselves know. That is for us, for discussion with others this is even more of an issue. Using a man who teaches something that the person you are talking to does not even believe in will never make your point valid.

So, where do we go from here? I am going to use what brought me to Christianity as the speaking points when I meet with my friend. I will discuss those points briefly in my next post.

I Have an Enquiring Mind, I Want to Know

I recently had a conversation that was very short with an atheist. He asked why I was a theist, and I told him that after several decades of being agnostic I had realized that it would take me too much faith to be an atheist. I only had enough faith to be a Christian.

He said, "Nobody knows enough to be a theist. Atheism is default. It makes no claim to knowledge, only disbelief."

I could concede that point. If it makes no claim, that is one thing. But that was simply not enough for me. I had a thirst that had to be quenched. I had a lifestyle that I wanted to find a way out of and could not. What was the answer?

I told him that as an agnostic (and here is why the National Enquirer slogan kicked into my head) I wanted to know. I actually felt compelled to know, and that was where we were different. He said that he did not need to know how we got here to be happy. Fair enough, but I did. I needed to know how we got here. Due to that, I had to have an answer to that question, "How are we here!"

When I looked at science, there were multiple leaps of faith. For one, we had to have a Big Bang. We had to have an explosion that created structure and order? That has never been done. I have never seen an explosion build a perfectly functioning house. Therefore I could not believe in an explosion that created a much more complex universe.

Now we have to believe that something caused the Big Bang. What created the mechanism that created the Big Bang?  I think they call it the uncaused cause? Even that name was just confusing, uncaused cause. Here we have another unknown. It too calls for a lot of faith in something never observed.

The Big Bang also goes against the first law of thermodynamics, which states that you cannot create or destroy matter. Yet to have occurred, the Big Bang created something (the universe) from nothing.
Then I had to believe that non-living matter created living matter. That has never been recreated in controlled environments, let alone on it's own. So now we also have to add the spontaneous generation of living matter from nonliving matter. To believe this takes faith.

Next we have macroevolution. That is the changing of one species to another. Think two cats mate and produce a dog. That has also never been done. We have microevolution which happens all of the time. That is adaptation, and it is seen. Micro I could believe, macro took faith.

I will end this with irreducible complexity. We have discovered "micromachines" in the human body that are irreducibly complex. This means that they need all of their parts to function, and if even one part is taken from them then they no longer work. We have to believe either that they spontaneously generated or that they where kept by a species when it had no function. Once again, I need faith in order to believe this.

I could go on and on about the things I need to have faith in, but I will not. There is the complexity of a cell, the coding of DNA much more complex than the best man made computer, the law of entrophy, etc. I will suffice in saying that I did not have enough faith to believe in evolution and the Big Bang.

For me to have faith in Christianity all that I had to believe in was an eternal God. That is all! I only need have faith in one thing and all other things are possible based on my belief in Him. If He is eternal, all powerful and all knowing than that answers every question. How are we here, why are we are, what happens after we die? Those are all answered through belief in Him.

Combine that with what I do know. I know that I spent 23 years in addiction, trying everything: rehabs, psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, 12 step programs, medication, probation, house arrest, prison, overdosing and being brought back to life and even suicide to try to quit. Nothing worked. I tried prayer one night and I have not used since. It has been almost 3 years now, and I have not had a relapse. That is all of the proof that I need!!