From Shack to Temple Weight Loss Wednesday Relapse or Failure

There are some words that I am not used to saying when it comes to myself. In my profession I say one of them a lot, and the other one I never say because it can become a label or self-fulfilling prophecy or even mimic Cooley's Looking Glass Self. The first word is relapse. I know that word well from the past, but not from my present personally. That said, I see it a lot with clients and friends. I actually have seen it with 4 of my friends in the past several months. I have also seen it in me.

Relapse is every time that I get off of work and comfort eat. Right now that is happening a lot. I have the stress of 10-12 hour days at work, then I was vlogging daily, writing a blog entry 3 times a week, my daughter's surgeries in St. Louis last week and again this week, trying to spend time with my wife, working on the non-profit BLiR (working with a website designer, meeting people to brainstorm about the direction of BLiR, setting up the next event, trying to figure out how to raise the money to file for non-profit status, etc.), spending time with my son, trying to work on my book and a whole lot more. This causes stress.

When I feel stress, I want to eat comfort food. I either stop on the way home or I insure that I have junk at home to eat. The bottom line, I am relapsing several times a week when it comes to eating. I would argue that I am relapsing daily. Sometimes at lunch, sometimes at dinner, a lot right before bedtime, even more often all of the above. I need to figure out what to do to stop this trend. Maybe I need to rejoin Weight Watchers or try out Visalus like some of my friends have talked to me about. The problem is, I don't want to pay $1,000 to join something. I don't want to sell anything. I am busy enough. I just want to lose weight!!!

Now we get to the word I don't use, failure. I am beginning to feel somewhat like a failure, but I will not allow myself to say it. That could cause a self-fulfilling prophecy to occur. Robert Merton was a sociologist who coined the term. What it says is that if I fear failure at something, in this case losing weight, my fear of failing at weight loss will actually cause me to fail. If I predict failure, even subconsciously, my prediction will influence my actions and will power and I will eventually turn that fallacious prediction into a reality. I therefore need to be positive and encourage myself instead of beating myself down.

The next social construct would be Cooley's Looking Glass Self (can you tell I have a Bachelors in Sociology? My professors would be proud!). It is predicated on people predicting how others will see us, how they will judge us based on their perception and then we begin to see ourselves as we falsely believe others see us. These are the reasons that the word or thoughts of FAILURE SHOULD NEVER BE IN YOUR VOCABULARY!!

Relapse is something that we can get over. By its very definition, it simply means to slip back into previous behaviors and/or actions. WE WILL WORK THROUGH A RELAPSE. It is temporary, but failure is not. Thomas Jefferson is attributed to saying, "I have not failed. I have found 10,000 ways that don't work," about the creation of the light bulb. He never stopped. He kept on trying!

So, I am okay with saying that I have relapsed repeatedly over the past two weeks. I have not failed, for I am still intent on trying to lose weight. I have still made it to the gym 4 days a week. I have not started 5 days a week nor have I started cardio due to the pulled calf muscle. I am hoping to begin that in two more weeks after we stop having to go to St Louis every week for my daughter's surgeries and subsequent check-ups post-surgery.

If anybody has any ideas of what I should do, let me know. Comment on my site, Facebook, tweet me, email me, what ever you want to do. I am torn between Weight Watchers, Visalus, a food journal, starting a closed group of me and anyone who also wants to lose weight were we can share our successes and get support for our relapses, or a couple of the above ideas.

So, I will see you in two weeks and I look forward to any questions or suggestions that you may have! Remember, YOU CAN DO THIS!!

BLiR VLog From 09/09/2012-09/15/2012

BLiR Vlog 09/15 Spiritual Attacks and Overcoming Them

BLiR Vlog 09/14 Why God is Never Disappointed in You

BLiR Vlog 09/13 90 Days to Hope or Your Misery Refunded

BLiR Vlog 09/12 The Bully and the Bullied

BLiR Vlog 09/11 I Am Against Decriminalizing Marijuana

BLiR Vlog 09/10 First BLiR Event

BLiR VLog From 09/02/2012-09/08/2012

Do Your Works Match Your Words

 

Is Relapse Part of Recovery

 

Walk the Walk

 

Keep Coming Back

 

The 5 Pillars of Recovery

 

The Garbage Theory

 

BLiR VLog 08/19/2012 - 08/25/2012

08/21 Attitude of Gratitude and Staying Eternally Optimistic

08/22 Why I Don't Like the Word Recovered

08/23 What Do They Mean When They Say, "Turn it Over to God"

08/24 Anger and the Power of Prayer

08/25 Dealing with Racing Thoughts

What Is In Store For the Future

If you have not heard there has been a lot of transition in my life. My daughter was born on the 12th and there were some complications. She was in the NICU for several days, but we were able to bring her home on the 17th. That was the good news. The bad news was that she had 2 holes in her heart, an artery that was supposed to close at birth was still open and she has cataracts that will need to be removed. Needless to say, I have been very busy between work, doctors appointments and the upcoming event on September 9th from 2-8 at the Ash Grove City Park. I have been slacking!

Here is the game plan for the future. As of Friday, the 14th of September I will begin publishing a blog every Friday at noon. It will be called Feature Friday. Every other week I will have a blog up that will review a chapter of a book I am reading, and that will be put up on Wednesday at noon. I will also be attempting to lose weight and overcome my addiction to comfort eating and sloth. That will be up every other Wednesday, starting the 12th at noon. Weight-loss Wednesday one week, then Wisdom Wednesday the following week and a personal blog every week for Feature Friday. Nifty, huh!! This way you will have two blogs to read every week and you know the time they will be published.

I have been doing a VLog daily, and putting it up on my YouTube channel, BetterLifeInRecovery. I have had several of them which have been put on here. I want to know, is having them posted on here something that would interest you? Hopefully so. I will not be posting them on here daily but I will be posting a weeks worth at a time. So, for now I will say good day to you. I will be posting next on the 14th once I have had an opportunity to go to Barnes in St Louis to have my daughter looked at and the BLiR event is over. She was looked at, and there will be a surgery on the 5th and another on the 12th of October.

In closing, sorry for the long gaps lately but life has been calling and my family comes before this blog. I will talk to you all in a week. Thanks for sticking by and reading what I have to write. I hope you enjoy reading and listening to it as much as I enjoy putting it up here! If you have any questions you want answered or anything you would like to hear me talk/write about be sure to get ahold of me: email, facebook, twitter or leave a comment on here.

BLiR VLog 08/11 Should I Tell My Kids I Used Drugs/Drank

This time I talk about whether or not we should tell our kids we have used drugs and/or drank

BLiR VLog 08/07 Difference Between Recovery and Sobriety

BLiR VLog 08/08 You Never Have to Use Again

My very first VLog script and VLog

Hi, my name is David. I am going to be starting a vlog. One of my friends told me that he thought it would be a good idea, and after thinking about it I agree with him. I talk in colleges, schools, churches and communities about the dangers of addiction and the power of recovery. I often have people call me, email me, tweet me or talk to me in public with questions about the struggles either they or someone they care about are going through and what they can do to help them, or sometimes just understand what they are going through. I think that I am a great person to answer those questions. Here are the reasons why i am a great person to answer those questions. I was abused as a child and started fighting as well as using drugs and alcohol as a way to cope. I eventually ended up in prison after being on probation, house arrest and in and out of jail for several years. I have used drugs IV and was involved in the manufacturing and distribution of meth as well as many other drugs. I am diagnosed Bipolar, PTSD, generalized anxiety, antisocial personality disorder. I have attempted suicide and have died and been brought back 6 times after overdoses and car accidents. I cannot count on two hands the number of friends that I have lost to addiction. I now have 3 1/2 years of what I consider true recovery. I have a bachelors degree in psychology and sociology. I have a masters degree in social work and I work at a substance abuse facililty and drug court as a counselor. I am starting a nonprofit to go into communities and schools to let people know that there is a better life in recovery. So in this vlog I will talk about the things that have helped me in recovery as well as the things that have enabled me to go from an agnostic to a Christian and how God has changed my life in ways that I can only attempt to share. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them. Put them on facebook, tweet me, email me or use the comments on youtube. I will answer all questions in a vlog for you if they are asked. I hope that you find this helpful, as I know sharing my faith and recovery will be helpful for me.