Long-Term Recovery: The Gratitude List

I used to have horrible mornings, and they would lead to incredibly horrible days. I would set my alarm clock for when I needed to wake up, but it was my daily pattern to hit snooze several times before getting out of bed. When I would finally get out of bed, I would be running late. That would lead to me throwing on clothes, leaving work with neither a prepared lunch nor breakfast. If I was lucky, I would grab a pop tart while I was headed out the door. If I didn’t have one of those, I would stop at McDonalds or just go without eating breakfast.

Generally, I had to go without because I didn’t have time to stop at a drive through and still be to work on time. I would speed through traffic, furious at the people in front of me going the speed limit because they had left themselves enough time to get to work early. How dare they not consider me and when I had to be to work! What were they thinking, following the speed limit? That thing is more of a suggestion, really! Then I would get to work hungry, mad about the inconsiderate drivers and stressed because I was almost late.

How many of you does this describe?

If you can relate to any of the above, I have a great idea for you. It is something that worked for me, and I believe it will work for you as well. It may seem too easy at first, but you will still find it hard to apply. It will involve developing a new pattern, which can be difficult. At least it was for me, at first. Now, I swear by it. Today, I can’t imagine starting my day any other way.

First step is to set your alarm clock for 30 minutes before you need to wake up. That is actually the easiest part. The hard part is getting up when your alarm clock goes off, without hitting snooze AT ALL! As soon as your alarm goes off, roll out of bed and head to the kitchen. Do not snooze, do not go back to bed go directly to the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen, I start coffee. On very rare occasions I will brew a cup of tea. I have a Keurig, so this is really easy. I have known some people who had a clock on their coffee makers who would set the coffee to begin brewing at the same time they set their alarm for in the bedroom. You don’t want it to be ready already, because you still have something to do.

Next I write out my gratitude list while the coffee brews. Then I relax and enjoy my coffee while I give thanks to my Higher Power for the things I am grateful for. I feel this is something that is sorely missing, especially in the  United States. Most people, when they pray, don’t do it to give thanks. The “Our Father Prayer” today would sound something like this, “Our Father, who art in heaven, give me give me give me give me. Amen.”

I choose to give thanks to God for all I have, and the things on my gratitude list give me several things to focus on for the morning. After spending 10-15 minutes doodling, meditating and praying I then get ready for work. By the time I get ready for work I am still ahead of schedule and have plenty of time to get to work. I don’t have to speed, I don’t have to get mad at the person in front of me “only” going the speed limit and when I get to work I am in a great mood and that leads to me having a great day way more often than I used to when I didn’t do a daily gratitude list.

 Enter the gratitude list. Some of you may be wondering what a gratitude list is, or may already be doing one and are just reading this to reaffirm what you are doing. I warn you, my gratitude list is a little different. It has morphed as I have done it through the years and become more than just words on a piece of paper that I threw into a box.

Generally, a gratitude list is simply a piece of paper you write on. You write anywhere from 3-10 things you are grateful for, trying to list different things every time you do it so that your list is not exactly the same, day in and day out. Many people do a gratitude list on a daily basis, generally in the morning to start their day off positive while others do it at the end of their day to help them compartmentalize and unwind. Most have a simple gratitude list that goes like this:

1.      Today I am grateful for my wife.

2.      Today I am grateful for clean drinking water.

3.      Today I am grateful for my car.

That would be great, if you were making a grocery list of things to pick up from the store. The gratitude list is extremely important, not just to start my day off on the right foot but at times to reread if I am feeling a little drained, moderately depressed or completely hopeless at some time over the course of the day. You need to embellish when making your gratitude list, a little or a lot. Own it and make it yours.

Your gratitude list should have genuine feelings so it can elicit a positive response either in the morning when you originally write it out or when you come back and look at it later. If you don’t add details and emotions, then the gratitude list is just one more obligatory thing to do you will check off your daily list. Don’t get me wrong, doing it that way is good. That said, I don’t want you to do good things and live a good life, I want you to do things great and live an amazing life. Supercharge your gratitude list! So how do I get more emotion into mine?

I have several techniques I like to use:

1.      Add details. Don’t just say you are grateful for something, list why you are grateful for it. Instead of saying “I am grateful for _________,” say why are grateful for that person. What do you love about that person? What do you love to do with that person? How does that person make your life better?   

2.      Scrapbook it. Add photographs, use words cut from a magazine, write in different colored inks, doodle.  Grateful for a movie or a band, glue a ticket stub on the page.

3.      Draw pictures. If you are grateful for something, draw a picture of it then write reasons you are grateful for it around the picture.

Bottom line; make your gratitude list yours! Use it to start your day off better and also as a constant reminder when life kicks your butt that you still have many things to be thankful and grateful for. I have used my gratitude list to drag me out of several funks before they got a chance to reach a full blown depressive episode.

I have a picture of one of my past pages, before I got a journal I  put them in, for you to look at. It is pretty obvious you don’t need to be an artist to do this. You don’t have to be a wordsmith. You need only be optimistic and honest about the things you are grateful to have in your life and wake up 30 minutes early to record them.  

This is something so simple yet so necessary that I don’t believe you can have an incredibly strong recovery without it. This is just one more of the reasons I can say that I will NEVER use again. Relapse does not scare me anymore. What scares me is not living life to its potential. If you are like me and constantly look for ways to improve the life you have, add a daily gratitude list. You need only record 3 things a day for 30 days and I guarantee you will have a better outlook on life than you had before you started doing it. 

The Locker Room

Today I want to introduce you to a sports themed blog. I am big on using analogies because I have found that they are easy to understand. It has also been my experience that most people I talk to understand sports analogies. Due to those reasons, we are going to talk about everybody's lives. This applies to "normies" and addicts. I believe that we all have basic needs in order to live our lives well.

"What do we need?"

Glad you asked! First we need to realize that our lives are very much like a game. This game is serious. In Monopoly, when you land on Go to Jail! you do not pass go, you do not collect $200 and you go directly to jail. That is only a game though, you are not really in jail. In this game, when you go to jail, you sit in jail. You are in a 5 foot by 9 foot cell and you talk to people through Plexiglas windows. This game is real, it is for keeps. When we play games and lose, we get to play another game. If we lose this game, the eternal outcome is dire!

Ephesians 6:10-12 of The Message Bible says, "God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels."

So in order to play this game and win, we have to do several things. The first thing we must do is pick a team. In my past I was on Satan's team. I made choices in my addiction and actions in the lifestyle I led that showed whose team I was on. We choose the team, as C.S. Lewis alluded to in this quote, "There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, in the end, 'Thy will be done.' 

We need to realize that the game of life we play is for keeps, it's for eternity. If you make the wrong moves in this game and the game ends, you go south. Deep south! I hear that it is really warm there, all of the time! If you make the right moves, you get to go North! I hear that it is amazing there, and I can't wait to go home!

We get to choose whether we are on the Devil's team or God's. I have chosen playing for Christ. Christ can give us the power to do what needs to be done in life. Phillipians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." Once we get on that team, we will have other needs if we are to be successful. 

First and foremost, we need a great group of coaches. These are the people that will direct our steps. They will teach us how to win the game that we are playing. That game is life, and the coaches we use are also known as pastors (lead, associate and youth) as well as mentors. In the world of addiction recovery the mentor is known as a sponsor. This is a very important position to fill. We can only be as good as our coach. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

Most of us are babies in our faith, and we need those who are more mature to educate and guide us as we grow in our faith. We may have the heart for faith, but we do not yet have the skills needed. We need to get down the intricacies of trying to live Christ-like. There is a lot to, and it takes more than just a great coach. We also need to learn the plays, and that requires us having a chance to review them not just with our coach, but when we go away from our coaches, also. Where do we get these plays?

As a Christian, my play book is the Bible. I know that there are a lot of good plays in there. It is a diagram for how we are to live our lives. It may have been written by men, but it was inspired by God. 2 Timothy 3:16,17 says, "All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." Our coaches teach us how to run the correct plays, but we have to know the play book well to play the game. In order to successfully run the game winning plays we have more needs.

Any great team has more than one good player. A shining example is the perfect game in baseball. This year (2012) we have had three perfect games pitched. That means 27 batters came to bat and none of them got on base in each game. This is a feat that takes a pitcher playing his "A" game. It also is the rest of the team playing great, too. The catcher has to catch every pitch and not let any third strikes get past him. If a called third strike  goes by him, batter gets on base and the perfect game is lost. In one of the games, there were 9 strike outs and in the other there were 14. That means that the ball was hit into play 31 times, and that the defense made no errors. It took the entire team, if your team mates are having problems, so do you. If you are flowing together, than you are doing great.

So, who are your team mates. We need accountability partners in order to win at the game we call life. No matter how good we feel we are doing, we still need the team mates to help us be better. We are born to sin, so that is our nature. By ourselves we are weak, while together we are strong. In Ecclesiastes 4:9,12 the Bible says, "Two are better than one, Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

When it comes to our accountability partners, we have to surround ourselves with other positive, encouraging, Christ-like people. If you look at the greats, they all had team mates that were great also. Michael Jordan had Scottie Pippen and Joe Montana had Jerry Rice. Pick your team mates wisely. I think of my accountability partners as friends. They are friends that I have talked to honestly about my struggles. If I miss a recovery meeting, small group or church they call me and let me know that I was missed and ask if I am doing okay. If they see my attitude starting to get negative they will call me out. I have given them permission. After all, "as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another (Proverbs 27:17)."

Now you need to get your team together and have practices. Practice is a way we get to know the plays in the play book better and prepare ourselves better for the game. We have our team mates practice with us and this allows for our bond and respect to deepen and grow. For practice, we have small groups. Small groups are great ways for us to build deeper and stronger relationships with others who we have commonalities with. We may use youth groups, apologetics groups, recovery groups, support groups, etc.

Hebrews 10:25 says, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and god deeds, not giving up meeting together, but encouraging one another." We are to be there for each other. We are to build each other up. There is no better place for us to do these than small groups. It also allows us to do things we would not normally do while receiving support from others who we know and hopefully trust. 

Before we start playing the game, and again at half time we get good sound advice from our coach. He talks to us and our team mates, using the play book to get us prepared for the game. This is an important time, but it is what it is. The looker room is where we learn and prepare, but it is not what is important. What is important is how we play in the game. If I have a great play book and a great coach but I do not perform on the field/court I will lose the game. What does this mean and what is our locker room?

Our locker room is church. This means that church is of import, but what we do outside of church is what truly matters. You can attend twice a week, sit in the front row, raise your hands in worship and tithe faithfully. You can say all of the right things and even have the Bible memorized. That is not important. I once heard a pastor say, "Sitting in church no more makes you a Christian than me standing in my garage makes me a car." We need to be Christian outside of church!

What does it mean to be Christian outside of church? It means that we look different from everyone else. When everyone starts cussing or telling offensive jokes, you let them know that you don't appreciate it. If they continue, you walk away. We need to remember what our ministry is. The pastor, his ministry is inside of the church. Where is yours? It could be at the junior high, high school or college you go to. It could be at your job, whether you are a maid, attorney or work in a restaurant.

You could be the best listener and loudest singer in church, but in the end it will all be for naught! The Bible says it best in James 2:26, "Faith without works is dead!" We need to apply what we learn, simply knowing isn't enough! If we are not in the locker room, we do not learn what we need in order to defeat Satan and stay steadfast and true in this sinful world.

Now we are ready to play the game. We have chosen a team, listened to our coach, learned the play book, practiced with our team mates and gotten pumped up for the game. We know what we need to do and how to do it. We get out there and begin playing. At first we are doing great, but we begin to wear down and the other team begins to take a lead. We are making mistakes that could cost us the game. We call a quick time out, because our team needs to get pumped back up. We need to talk our strategy over, so we get into the huddle.

The huddle is how we get our strength and courage back in the middle of the game. This is prayer time. Ephesians 16:18 says, "In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out." We not only pray for ourselves, but for our brothers and sisters. We need to lift not only our own spirits but the spirits of our team mates as well!

Now that we have our game plan all in order, it is time for us to begin really making an effort to stand out. I don't want to be an okay or average player at the game of life. In fact, we are told not to be average players. In Matthew 5:14-16 it says, "You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."

In order to do this, we must be prepared and the way to do that is to apply the things mentioned above and ask yourself 4 questions:

1. Is my life lived to fulfill my wants and needs or do I focus on living for Christ?
2. Am I ashamed of my faith, or do I share it with everyone that will listen?
3. Do I live as one that is OF this world or one that is only IN this world?
4. Is my life a living testament to God?

It's Hard to Stay Clean When You're Standing in the Mud

So now you have decided to get clean. You realize it is not going to be easy, but you are going to go to a residential rehabilition center for 20 days to start your sobriety off right. Then when you complete residential you are going to go to Narcotics Anonymous (or Alcoholics Anonymous, Celebrate Recovery, Living Free, Reformers Unanimous, etc.). You are going to work the 12 steps with a sponsor that you will find, or maybe already have.

"I am going to have a sponsor, a mentor, accountability partners, go to recovery meetings, church and work the 12 steps," you tell yourself and anybody that will listen. "This time, it is going to be different. This time, I am going to stay clean and sober when I get out of rehab!"

As a substance abuse counselor, I can't tell you how many times I hear this said by people who completely mean it. They are done with drugs and alcohol for a myriad of reasons. They might have had their children removed by Children's Division,  or they have been arrested. Sometimes they are in drug court, or they have come to the realization that the next time they relapse will be the one that kills them. Maybe they just want their old life back.

Having these reasons listed in the last paragraph coupled with the supports in the paragraph second paragraph would seem to be enough to accomplish long-term sobriety. Nope!! For some reason, many people fail after leaving residential and they almost all tend to have the same thing in common. In fact, I know that a lot of my clients will relapse before they even leave residential treatment. I even let them know. A lot of times the other clients even let them know what they need to change, but yet they still do it.

So what is it? What is this thing that time and time again causes people to relapse, even after they are warned multiple times about it? I call it mud. And it is hard to stay clean when you are standing in the mud! So what is it that I call mud? Some would call it love, other's familiarity. Basically, it is the relationships that we have in our lives. It could be your best friend since kindergarten. It could be the person you have been dating for several years. It could be your spouse, your sibling or even a parent. It could be their house or the bar.

It could be anyone or any place, but they all have one thing in common. They are bad for your recovery because they are still engaged in substance abuse, alcoholism or criminal activities or they are happening there. You have got to get rid of these people. Family, you can love them from a distance. Friends and significant others, you just have to let them go.

There is a reason for this. Your addiction is in the back of your head: lifting weights, running on a treadmill and doing research on a computer. It is getting stronger and smarter, just looking for a way to get back into the front of your head. It will use any means necessary to get you to relapse, especially our old playmates. If you are around it, you will do it. The question no longer becomes whether or not you will relapse, but instead WHEN WILL YOU RELAPSE? It is inevitable.

The Bible says bad association spoils useful habits. I think of a song by Rascal Flatts called "Moving On." In the song they say, "I've lived in this place and I know all the faces. Each one is different but they're always the same. They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it, they'll never allow me to change. But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong, I'm moving on!" If you want your life to change, you have to change it. You have to move on, staying rooted to people and places spells doom!

If you continue to live in addiction and chaos you will get caught up eventually, guaranteed. Like the program says, if you sit around a barber shop eventually you're going to get a hair cut. I say, if you sit around the mud long enough, eventually your going to get dirty! The reason is that your addiction is strong and it just gets stronger. It never takes a day off! Drugs and alcohol are everywhere, and if you stay around people who are still using or go to places where people use, eventually you will too.

If you want your life to change, you have to change everything about it. You cannot hold on to any one part of your life, or the Devil will use that to find a way back into your life. So how do we combat our addiction? There are a few steps that we have to take. If we take them, I have never seen anyone that was doing all of these fail:

1. Put God first in everything that you do! This means we pray, read the Bible and meditate daily!
2. Attend recovery meetings consistently (NA, AA, Celebrate Recovery, Living Free, etc.)
3. Get a sponsor or mentor
4. Work the 12 steps with that sponsor/mentor 
5. Apply the 12 steps to our lives (Knowing and doing are 2 completely different things!)
6. Get accountability partners 
7. Get rid of your old playmates 
8. Stay away from your old playgrounds
9. Find positive playmates and new playgrounds to frequent (We need to fill our lives with positive people and things, or the negative people and activities will find their way back into our lives)

Iron Sharpens Iron Part 2 - Change your Playmates

When they refer to playmates they are literally referring to the people that we spend time with. There are people in our lives who engage in the activities that we are trying to no longer engage in. We tend to surround ourselves with people we feel comfortable around.  When I first enter into a new lifestyle, I need to surround myself with people who will support the way I now choose to live.

This is actually one of the most difficult things to do. We may have used drugs with our brother, sister, husband or wife. We may drink with our parents and all of our friends. We may not have any friends at all that do not do drugs or drink. We may not, when we look at our lives realistically, have any true friends.

When I have someone ask me what a true friend is, I ask them the same question, “If you had $1,000 dollars on your dresser and you were leaving the house and your friend were staying, would you hide the money before you left? Or would you be confident that the money would still be there when you came back?” What most of my clients find out is that the people they thought were friends are generally nothing more than acquaintances?

In my past, I had friends that would have taken a bullet for me. They would have helped me hide bodies! But they also would have helped hide mine if they could have made any money on it. The truth is, they were only my friend because they either wanted what I had, what they could get from me, because I had good drugs, could get rid of their drugs, did drugs with them or because they were scared of me. It is really hard to admit it, but I had very few true friends.

Here is a story that I will relate about finding out one of my old acquaintances was truly a friend. I moved when I got clean. I knew that I could not stay clean and still live where I had been a drug dealer for so long. I moved to Springfield, and I worked at a local restaurant in the mall. I saw one of my old friends several times over the course of five years. Every time that I saw him he would catch my eye, then turn around and leave the restaurant. I had not been working at the restaurant for a year, but was at the mall Christmas shopping when I saw my old friend again. He walked up to me and asked me how I had been doing.

“I have been doing really well, but I have to ask you a question," I replied. "How come every time I've seen you since I left Branson, you have seen me and immediately left the place I was at?"

"It was because I was still dealing drugs, and I knew that you weren't anymore. I did not want to be a temptation to you."

“So why are you talking to me now?” I asked.

"Because I am no longer doing drugs. In fact, I have been off of drugs and out of that lifestyle for a year now. Unfortunately, I had old charges that came up and I have to turn myself in to complete a federal prison sentence in January. I was actually hoping to run into you, I just wanted you to know that I got clean to."

After that he and I caught up on what was going on with the old crew that I used to hang out with. It consisted mostly of people in prison and people who were no longer alive. As I say goodbye to him, it dawned on me that he was actually a true friend. He knew that I could probably not maintain the lifestyle I was living if we were to remain friends. So instead of being a negative influence, he chose to not be in my life at all. Honestly, I had very few friends who did not do drugs when I finally got off of drugs.

There's a reason for that. In addiction we tend to chase away the people who do not do what we do (drugs, alcohol, etc). We stop being friends with people who truly care about us, because they tend to want to see us improve our lives. They remind us of the negative things that we are currently doing. So instead, we surround ourselves with people that do not have our best intentions at heart.

The Bible in 1 Corinthians 15:33 states that, “Bad company corrupts good character.” And Proverbs 13:20 says," He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm."

It sounds like maybe we need to make positive friends. It is hard to learn how to be sober if we hang around with drunks. It is hard to stop committing crimes if we hang out with criminals. If we want to make changes in our lives, we have to be willing to do whatever it takes to make those changes. This includes no longer hanging out with our old playmates and beginning to hang out with new ones. Aerosmith, in their song Amazing, say it best, “I kept the right ones out, and let the wrong ones in.”

Do not get me wrong. I still have friends from my past who are in my life and others who are not. There are some things I will not be around. I do not hang out with criminals, nor do I hang out with people who are doing drugs. I do not run around with people who break the law either. I believe in self-determination. I have found out that I cannot change my friends, just as other people could not change me while I was still active in my addiction. I have found the best way to be there for those types of friends is for me to live my life right.

That said, there are people from my past that I'm still friends with. For example, look at the people that I used to be friends with when I was an alcoholic. Many of them still drink. A couple of my best friend still drink, yet I still will go out with them. I will meet them for dinner and a movie. After the movie is over, I will go home and they will go to the bar. I feel that one of the best ways we can minister to others is by still being their friends. That does not mean that we put ourselves in danger situations, but that we still are friends with them.

So where do I find new playmates, you may be asking yourself. There are 12 step recovery groups (Alcoholic's Anonymous, Narcotic's Anonymous, Celebrate Recovery, Living Free), church groups, community support groups, therapy groups and even online support groups. These kinds of groups are important for several reasons. For starters, we have a chance to be around people who know where we have been and can relate to us. This generally stops people from being judgmental. Secondly, we get to be around people who will share with us their strength, experience and hope. Finally, we get to learn new behaviors by people who actually exhibit them.

Proverbs 27:17," as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

When I began to hold myself accountable, I also needed to be around others who would help me be accountable. It is really difficult for me to make wise choices when I hang out with people who are not making those same choices themselves. If I want to begin a new lifestyle, I need to ensure that I hang out with people who also follow that lifestyle. I have found that the best way to do that is by being around people who were where I want to be. That does not mean when I have outgrown people, that I am no longer their friend. What that does mean is that I am constantly finding new people to become friends with.

I have found a sponsor, who is someone who helped me work through the 12 steps, which I am a huge advocate of when working through difficult issues that we are trying to overcome. I am best helped by someone who has lived through what I am living through. They have the wisdom that I need in order to succeed. 

As you can see, changing our playmates, playgrounds and playthings needs to happen in order to successfully achieve a new way of living. These are major pieces that are an integral part of our recovery puzzle that needs to be completed in order for us to be kept from anything that causes us harm or separates us from God.

Iron Sharpens Iron Part 1- Change your Playgrounds

There are multiple things that are talked about that will allow you to make positive lifestyle changes. Some of the most important things that they talk about are your playmates, playgrounds and playthings. These are three of the major obstacles/barriers that exist in our environment and that keep us from making beneficial changes.

When they refer to playgrounds, they are talking about the places that you frequent. As a substance-abuse counselor, I tell people that they should avoid their old playgrounds. As a Christian, I tell people that they may not want to frequent their old hangouts also. I tell everyone that is making changes that they need to not only be aware of where they partake of their hobbies at but also the hobbies they engage in. The hobbies they engage in are referred to as playthings.

When they mention play things, they're talking about triggers. Triggers are the things in our life that make us think of the habits we are trying to rid ourselves of.

1. If you are trying to work on financial issues, credit cards may be a trigger for you. Cutting up your credit cards may be a good idea for you.

2. If you're an alcoholic, fishing may be a trigger for you. In the future, you may want to only go fishing with sober people who were supportive of your sobriety.

3. If you like to fight or have anger issues, heavy metal concerts and bars may be triggers for you. I know that they were for me. I did not stop going to concerts, instead I switched to worship music. I found that it tends to uplift me and fill me with hope instead of causing anger in me.

4. For those who suffer from depression, isolation may be a trigger for you. It was for me. I came up with an action plan for things to do when I began to isolate which included calling a sponsor and accountability partners. We will discuss those when we get to playmates.

5. What if you're addicted to video games? I found that a good thing to add to my life was reading the Bible, attending small groups, and actually spending time with my wife and my son.

We also need to ensure that we are aware of the places that are dangerous to our overcoming the habits we are trying to change, or our living a Christian lifestyle. If you continue to frequent your old haunts you are putting yourself at risk of once again engaging in behaviors you are trying to stop. Do not give relapse, sin or the devil a foothold in your life. When we frequent places of ill repute that is what we do.

Listed below are a couple examples:

1. If you are an overeater, there may be a bakery that you pass by on our way home from work that he would always stop at. Would it not be wiser to change your route going home than it would be to drive by the bakery every day? Remove your object of temptation.

2. If you have a sexual addiction, why would you ever go to a bar or a club? This is the last place I would ever go to. For starters, the temptation to pick somebody up will always exist there. Most bars and clubs are nothing more than meat markets. Secondly, inebriated people are not that much fun to hang out with if you are sober.

3. I was an alcoholic. I also enjoy playing softball a lot. I always played softball at the fields that had bars at them. When I stopped drinking, I found a league that was played in a park that did not serve alcohol. This was a good idea because if alcohol was not available to me I would not drink. Also because there is no alcohol there, there do not tend to be any fights there like at the fields that serve liquor.

4. I enjoy playing pool and bowling. I am not good at either of them, but I do enjoy them. There are multiple bowling alleys in the town I live in. There are also multiple places that I could play pool at. There is a Christian bowling alley in the town I live in that also has a pool table. Therefore I can play pool and bowl in a place that has no liquor served at it. Once again, if there is no temptation than it is less likely that I will stumble.

Do the above examples make sense? Why would you tempt fate? If I have a box of rattlesnakes, I am not going to stick my hand in there on the off chance that they might not bite me. That is what we do when we frequent places we should not. We basically play Russian roulette with our new lives.

The Bible even supports this. In Proverbs 14:11 it says, “The house of the wicked will be destroyed, but the tent of the upright will flourish." Why would you want to hang out in a house that you know will be destroyed? Would it not be better to hang out in a place that will flourish? I would certainly think so.