The Truth About Recovery: My Perspective

I have people tell me to sum up recovery for them, "In your opinion, what is recovery?" I find this extremely hard to do. I once heard someone say that recovery was like playing a country music song backwards, because you get back your house, your truck, your dog and your wife. I have gained so much in my recovery, that it is difficult to qualify or quantify what recovery means "for me."

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so instead of telling you what recovery means to me I will show you what it means to me:

What Brought Me to Church and Kept Me Coming Back

The church is losing people according to recent polls. There are probably some good reasons for this, but I don’t want to focus on what the church is doing wrong. Instead, I want to focus on what some churches are doing right. I was an Agnostic when I first came to church. I felt totally and completely uncomfortable there and I had preconceived notions about the church and the people inside. There was a reason that I came there, and a reason that I kept coming back.

I came to church because I had people in my life that loved me and cared about me, even though I had a lot of issues. I had always run into judgmental, hypocritical Christians in the past. I was raised by them, in fact. In my addiction I have had people telling me that I was going to go to hell because I was not saved while they were doing methamphetamine with me. I finally met a couple that were truly living their lives as a Christian should, and their empathy and kindness is what finally got me to step foot into a church.

The church that I walked into with them had a Celebrate Recovery meeting. It was a meeting weekly to help people with their hurts, habits and hang-ups. There was a chemical dependency group that I went to at the church that was faith-based. The church was not only willing to admit that many people who came there had issues, they were not afraid to talk about it. I had tried other programs, I needed something different and I found it in Celebrate Recovery.

The very first song that they played the day I went was called “Cry Out to Jesus.” It was by a band called Third Day, and in the song they actually talked about addiction. They were talking about struggles that I could relate to in their songs. I realized that the outside world often sang about addiction, but never would have thought that Christian music would come right out and talk about such a taboo subject.

The associate pastor heard that I was an Agnostic and asked me if we could meet and talk. When we met and talked, he was very warm and genuine. He answered my questions, and then gave me a book to read that he said had helped him. It was Lee Strobel’s “The Case for Christ.” He then offered to meet with me regularly to answer any questions that came up. He did not push me, scoff at my ideas/beliefs nor did he talk down to me.

The church was very friendly, and soon I knew the names of several people and a lot more of them knew my name. I would always have people talking to me, asking me how I was doing and showing real interest in me as a person.  If I did not come one week I would have people ask me if everything was okay the following week “because we missed you last week.” I felt accepted and wanted.

The sermons were about the Bible and how to live life Biblically. They were often about the words and teachings of either Jesus or one of his disciples. It was not wishy washy stuff about staying the way I was and how much God loved me. It was about how much God loved me and how I would make positive changes and better choices as I continued on my walk with him. We talked about how my life would change. 

That is a few of the things that really helped me begin my walk with Christ. I have already discussed how I feel about the choices many churches are making in reaching out to the unchurched. As one who was unchurched, all I can say is that by the time many of us step foot inside a church it is because we are hopeless and searching for something to fill that void. It is because we are tired of the way the world is and are looking for something different. Give us something different. That is all I have to say about that.

The Secular Church

The church is changing to meet the people. There are positive and negative ways the church is adapting. It is positive to address the modern issues people face with recovery/support groups and small groups. I love that churches are reaching out to help the community with outreaches and food banks. That is what Christians are supposed to do. I also really enjoy Christian concerts in the community, even though some are part worship/part entertainment. Those are all good things. Unfortunately, there are also negative ways the church is changing.

I am talking about church service conforming to stay relevant and cool. We have Domino Pizza church services that deliver church in 60 minutes, or your money back. On top of that we use secular music and cultural themes to pack the pews. When you have 15 minutes allotted for worship, 2 minutes for announcements, a 30 minute sermon, 5 minutes for collection and another 5 minutes for prayer then we see you out the door so we can get the next service started.............Houston, we have a problem.

What if the Holy Spirit leads you to teach, pray or worship longer? We have placed the Holy Spirit in a box, putting time constraints on worship, sermons and even prayer. Church used to be one of the most important things of the week. It is that way no longer. The entire day used to be built upon church and fellowship. Now we have to be in and out quickly so that we can get back home in time for football games, the latest box office smash or to see how our brackets are doing.

Francis Chan said the church now proclaims, "Hi, welcome to church. Here's your bulletin. We'll get you out in an hour. Come back next week." He asks, "What would the church look like today if we really stopped taking control of it and let the Holy Spirit lead? I believe this is exactly what the world needs to see."

We have reached an era where we no longer place importance on spending time with Christ. We appeal to the masses living a fast food life by giving them fast food church. Many in the church now believe that modern culture is needed to bring people in, so they are basing sermons around culturally fun, relevant things. Charles Spurgeon, who died over 120 years ago, could just as well have been speaking about the church today when he said:

"The devil has seldom done a cleverer thing than hinting to the Church that part of their mission is to provide entertainment for the people, with a view to winning them. My first contention is that providing amusement for the people is nowhere spoken of in the Scriptures as a function of the church.  If it is a Christian work, why did not Christ speak of it? The mission of amusement produces no converts. The need is biblical doctrine, so understood and felt that it sets men on fire."

Os Guiness says, "The only place the Church is strong in the West is ordinary people in America, which are largely evangelicals, and if you look at the evangelical community, it’s anti-intellectual. It’s handicapped, populist, and incredibly worldly. In many cases, the Church is shaped more by the world than by the Gospel of Christ."

The world needs a fresh drink of water, not the same Kool Aid they've been gulping down their entire lives. Why do some churches feel the need to give the unchurched what they already know? Is that what the Bible said? "Go out and make disciples of all nations, using the Word of God and providing entertainment they can relate to so they will come to church. Also, tone down the message so as not to offend. Remember, wide is the gate that leads to salvation and many will storm through it as your church grows larger and larger!" I must have missed that part of the Bible.

A.W. Tozer said, "We who preach the gospel must not think of ourselves as public relations agents sent to establish good will between Christ and the world. We must not imagine ourselves commissioned to make Christ acceptable to big business, the press, the world of sports or modern education. We are not diplomats but prophets, and our message is not a compromise but an ultimatum." Christ said that the world would hate us, as it hated Him yet we are trying to appease everyone.

Francis Chan calls the current American church "lukewarm." We are warned of this in Revelation 3:15,16, "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth." This is what we are doing by trying to create a middle ground between Christ and the world, being lukewarm. We have forgotten there is no middle ground. This is Satan's world. You are either the problem or the solution; not of this world or in it with 2 feet firmly planted. 

The church is doing a great disservice to those searching for hope. The nonbeliever comes to church for something different and supernatural, and is instead given what is common and known. We were told to be salt and light, but we are becoming tasteless and allowing the darkness of the world to enter into our churches. How are people to find hope, salvation or a reason to change how they are living when they hear a primary message that shouts, "Watch, read, speak and live as you want to, Jesus loves you as you are! See, we are just like you."

When the church begins to resemble the world it is in, that goes completely against what Jesus taught. He said that they would hate us, as they had hated him. James 4:4 says, "anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God." That means we may lose some friends and alienate some people when they step into our churches. They should hear the salvation message instead of what they are hearing.

Christianity Today said, "The current state of our preaching is driven by an admirable desire to show our age the relevance of the gospel. But our recent attempts have inadvertently turned that gospel into mere good advice-about sex, about social ethics, about how to live successfully. This either offends or bores our culture. A renewed focus on the Cross is the only way forward."

 We rely on being culturally relevant and preaching a "feel good" message as opposed to focusing on discipline and discipleship. It is no wonder we are losing our youth to the secular world. They do not have the Biblical knowledge to defend their faith, let alone live it while teaching and discipling others. Since this is the culture of the church, we are setting our youth up for failure. The Berean Call recognized this, and said:

 “During the last three decades, many have experienced Christianity in church settings that major in entertainment rather than in teaching the Scriptures and disciplining those who attend. Thus, they are the products of years of church-growth marketing schemes that have attempted to fill pews with the "unchurched" and keep them coming back by using consumer-oriented tactics. It's a "keep the customer happy," seeker-friendly approach that has critically diluted biblical content as churches compete with the world in order to interest their youth. The outcome has resulted in a shallow Christianity for millions of young professing Christians.”

G. Campbell Morgan, who died almost 70 years ago saw this and said, "When amusement is necessary to get people to listen to the gospel there will be failure.  This is not the method of Christ. To form an organization and provide all kinds of entertainment for young people, in order that they may come to the Bible classes, is to be foredoomed to failure."

We don't need entertainment and a "feel good" gospel; we need the message of salvation through Christ. There is no need to water down the gospel, for ALL scripture is inspired by God and beneficial! Instead of telling sinners how to be saved and live differently, we are teaching them they can continue in their sinful ways. I share recovery, not sobriety with people. It is not enough for someone to simply be sober, for there is so much more to it than not that. Same with being saved, there is so much more to it than simply accepting Christ.

In recovery we have dry drunks, in the church we have plastic Christians. Their foundation is unstable and likely to fall at any moment because they have only started the change and never moved forward with it. They are coming to church not because they want to make a sacrifice and put Christ first and foremost. They come because of what they feel Christ can do for them, or because they are afraid of what may happen if they don't accept Christ and go to church. This is merely accepting.

Ask anyone who works the 12 steps; acceptance is only step 1! There are still 11 steps remaining. Acceptance of Christ with no changes in character or behavior is a scary way to live. We are encouraging the dead faith James talked. He said that you can't have faith without works. Once you have truly accepted Christ, your life will begin to change. You will begin to live differently for all the right reasons. I did not start believing in God and stop drinking, drugging, cussing, smoking cigarettes, having premarital sex and fighting out of fear or because I was entertained.

My life didn't change because the worship team played Mustang Sally or Dave Matthews. It happened because I heard Christian music address my issues in the Third Day song, "Cry Out to Jesus" Brandon Heath's song, "I'm Not Who I Was" and "Forgiven" by Sanctus Real. It didn't change because someone told me how to relate a Harry Potter book to a lesson in the Bible. Instead the associate pastor met with me and introduced me to Lee Strobel's book, The Case for Christ, which examined the historical evidence for Christ.

My life didn't change because the church directed me to a Narcotic's Anonymous group like the one I was used to going to. Instead I was introduced to a faith-based recovery/support group called Celebrate Recovery. It helped me see some things differently. First, it let me see that a lot of people have struggles they cope with in unhealthy ways besides drugs and alcohol. I also realized I am no better or worse than everyone else, because everyone struggles. Finally, it showed me Christians aren't the judgemental hypocrites I had always known them to be.

My life didn't change because the first sermon I heard talked about a movie I had just seen and how it related to the Bible in one way or another. My life changed because I heard  a message of forgiveness and salvation. I was told that "all have sinned." I heard that Paul struggled with doing the right thing, because it was his nature to sin. In fact, Paul said he was the worst of sinners yet was still saved by grace. Then I was told to make my body a living sacrifice and not  to conform to the world. That changed me, not on the surface but at my very core. It gave me hope!

After over 2 decades of debauchery and Agnosticism I was changed because the Holy Spirit gave me hope in the knowledge of Christ's unconditional love and redeeming grace. I did not want to let Him down. The Holy Spirit led me to begin changing my life. I wanted to be like Christ and make him as proud of me as I possibly could. I still do. I know I will never be perfect, but my program has taught me it is progress not perfection. If there is no progress there is something wrong! I don't make progress because I get anything for it, but because I love God and have put Him first.

I think of the love my son  has for me. He does everything he can to emulate what I do and to make me proud of him. He knows what pleases me and he tries to do it. When he can't do what I do or he fails in impressing me, he continues practicing and tries again. He does this simply because he loves me. He loves to see me smile at him and know that I am proud of him. Same reason I strive to do better in my life. I want to know that how I live is pleasing to God.

My life is a gift from God, and how I live my life shows God my gratitude. The problem today is that some churches are not preaching that message. They are using seeker-friendly, "feel good" sermons filled with fluff and acceptance of sins. In using almost doctrine, the unchurched are almost introduced to Christ and are taught how to almost live Christ-like. Because of that many find themselves almost putting Christ first and are almost not of this world. The problem I see today is many will almost get to heaven because they almost got saved.

Songs of Recovery - Cry Out to Jesus by Third Day

I am 4 months removed from burying my father after he committed suicide. I have recently broken up with the mother of my 1 year old son, and she has not let me see him for several weeks. I am agnostic. I am broken. I am a functioning alcoholic who is working one full-time and one part-time job, I smoke two packs of cigarettes a day, I cannot complete a sentence without using the "F" word  and I am getting into fights semi-weekly. I still think convict and junkie every time that I look into a mirror, even though I have not done drugs other than alcohol for several years. No matter what I do, how many degrees I have, I still see myself as worthless and the only thing that really matters to me, my son, I am not able to see.

That is where I was a little over three years ago. Thankfully, I had several people that I knew reach out to me. One of them was Nate, who I worked with and the other was his wife Becca. They were 2 of the only Christians that I had ever met that did not judge me and that appeared to be genuine. They walked the walk instead of just talking it. They saw me, shattered and hopeless, and invited me to church. I would have said no, but they suckered me in with the BBQ that was after the service. If you saw me you would understand. I do not say no to food. In fact, I love food. BBQ just so happens to be near the top of the list when it comes to my favorite things to eat. That is probably the reason that I am currently on a diet. 18 pounds down, 37 pounds to go!

I remember several things about that day that made me feel welcome at their church, which is New Life Church. I have talked about the ink wall, which is the wall when you first walk into the church that has pictures of tattoos that people who attend New Life have, along with the meaning of the tattoo and where they got it done. Today, I will talk about the first song that they played in service and how it made me feel as I read the words of the screen that morning.

The song was a perfect song for my first experience with the church. It was Cry Out to Jesus by the band Third Day. It starts off:

                      To everyone who's lost someone they love
                      Long before it was their time
                      You feel like the days you had were not enough
                      when you said goodbye.

As I heard the band sing these words, tears formed in my eyes. All I could think about was my father, and how I did not get to really say goodbye. I thought about the last words that I ever said to him, face-to-face and how I could never take it back. I thought about all of the times that we talked and I took it for granted! I thought about the fact that my son would never be able to meet his grandfather, my father, the man that I call Superman (I blog about him here: http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2011/06/my-superman.html).
Then came the second stanza:

                                      And to all of the people with burdens and pains
                                      Keeping you back from your life
                                      You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
                                      Who can make it right.

The tears began to roll, as I thought of how miserable I was. I had tried substance abuse rehabilitation, psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, Narcotic's Anonymous and Alcoholic's Anonymous but there was something that was missing. The only thing that I had found to work was alcohol, sex and violence. It took my mind off of my current and past problems and made it right for a while. But even that was only temporary, and I knew in my heart that nothing could change me, nothing could make it right. Then came the chorus:

                                There is hope for the helpless
                                Rest for the weary
                                Love for the broken heart
                                There is grace and forgiveness
                                Mercy and healing
                                He'll meet you wherever you are
                                Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

I continued to cry, I can remember this. I was the helpless, the weary, the broken hearted. This song could have been written about me. What could they possibly mean that there was hope, rest, love and mercy. I could not forgive myself, so how could anyone else forgive me. They did not realize who I was, that I was an addict, that I was evil and mean and hateful and arrogant and every other negative thing that I could possibly think of. There would never be love for me, because I could not even love myself. I was an addict, a junkie, the worst of the worst. Even though I was not using any more I was still a drunk, and I knew who I really was! Several stanzas later, God spoke to me again through music as I heard the entire congregation sing:
                                        

                For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
             You try to give up but you come back again
                Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
                  And your suffering

                 When your lonely
              And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
            You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
                Cry to Jesus

Wow, even me?!?! Even the addict was being talked about. My life was being mentioned. I had kept trying to change, but no matter what I did I was always still me. No matter how much I tried to change, what I took, where I moved, who I associated with I was still me. I was still miserable, I was worthless. Since when were addicts talked about inside of church, other than when the pastor said, "Don't be like these people!" I was lonely, I was suffering, and the whole world was crashing down on me. I was pretty sure that there was no help for me, but I had several friends that were in church that day with me, they had a program of recovery I had never tried called Celebrate Recovery, and the band actually rocked!

Maybe there was something different about church than what I was used to. Maybe they were not all judgemental and holier than thou.  Maybe I would give this place called New Life Church a chance. I still did not believe in God, but I felt a little better for the first time in a while. I felt accepted, I felt a little less stress, I felt a little more at ease than when I had walked in and I liked it. Yep, I decided, I will give this a chance and see what happens! Here I sit 3 years later, and the journey was definitely worth it. This is one of the songs that was truly instrumental in my still being alive today, in my being blessed with a life worth living. I went from hope-less to hope-filled. I took the road less traveled, and it has made all the difference in my life.