Healed People Heal People

I am sure you know the saying, “Hurt people hurt people.”  That saying means that when people are hurting, they tend to lash out and hurt others. It may be unintentional, like snapping on someone you love as soon as you get home after a long day of your boss jumping all over you like he was a 10 year old in a bounce house. It could be more intentional, you are getting abused at home by your dad so you go to school and bully kids weaker than you so that you can feel power.

If hurt people hurt people, then the opposite is true as well. Healed people heal people. Once I have overcome something, I have a unique insight into what I went through that most people don’t have. For example, I spent 25 years of my life in addiction. I have now been clean and sober for over 5 years. I know what it takes to get clean and stay that way. I can share what has helped me, what I have seen help others as well as the science that has validated some forms of treatment to be evidence-based practices.

I have several close friends, that have been diagnosed with cancer and after treatment are now either cancer-free or in remission. They have unique perspectives that I lack. One, they have been diagnosed with cancer. I have no idea what that feels like, to be diagnosed with cancer. I have never had cancer, so although I can have empathy and support someone who has cancer, my friends come from a place of wisdom that I don’t have. Second, that they have overcome that cancer through treatment. They are living proof that surviving a cancer diagnosis is not only possible, but a reality because they have first hand knowledge. They can help people that I cannot because of having lived through cancer.

Everybody has been through something. We all have been hurt in one way or another. It could be physical abuse, sexual abuse, feeling fat, being told we are worthless, being bullied, depression, cancer, child of an alcoholic/addict, grief and loss, etc. I am sure you get the idea, there are a lot of ways life hurts us. Life puts holes in our souls.

Once those holes are placed, many of us use something to escape, numb or forget the hole is there. Food, sex, money, cutting, power, alcohol and other drugs are a few of the things we use as band-aids to numb/escape our past. These bandages don’t heal the problem, they just cover them up. They are still festering underneath and more issues are being added to it.  

Fortunately, some of us figured out how to stop covering the problem up. We have learned what it takes to fix the problem. Once we have learned how to deal with the holes instead of running from them, we have unique wisdom that only someone who has gone through what we have gone through has. Once we have that wisdom, we can impart it to others. That is all part of what I call my garbage theory, which you can read about here:http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2011/10/why-mehow-can-i-make-peace-with-my-past_25.html

Many people live with regrets about their past choices and things that have happened to them. I have learned to embrace mine. I am not defined by them, but instead I define myself by my recovery. I realize that all those events led me to be the person I am today. The person I am today helps people, and if it was not for everything I have been through, I would not be as effective in doing that.

The same is true for you. Everyone has survived or lived through something that had an impact on them. Never forget that the past has made you who you are, and the person you are today is awesome and will only get better with time. To quote a dead jazz singer, “My God don’t make no junk.” You are not junk, and there is no reason to let your past issues define you. My past did not defeat me, instead it made me stronger and wiser than I ever would have been without it. The same is true for you!  

What I Want 2 Do and How You Can Help

When I was a kid I listened to heavy metal. I can still remember the Twisted Sister video for their song "I Want to Rock." The father is yelling at his son, who he obviously feels is wasting his life, and asks the question,  "What do you want to do with your life?" The son yells, "I want to rock." This is what today is about, because my answer would be, "I WANT TO TALK!" Just a spoiler, I could really use your  help in my endeavors and will talk about how at the end of this.

FYI when I use the word  recovery it refers to those who have overcame struggles they have had with drinking/drugs, physical/sexual abuse, mental illnesses, eating disorders, cutting, bullying, losing faith and everything in between.

I want to use my past and present life as a way to enable BLiR to:

1. Steer people away from addiction and other life consuming issues
2. Let those who have been physically/sexually abused and/or struggle with mental illnesses know that they are not alone
3. Give hope to those who are struggling with issues that control their lives or the lives of people that they care about
4. Educate youth and young adults on the dangers of addiction
5. Make parents more aware of the dangers their children face and teach them how to have conversations with their children and what to be aware of
6. Share with those in the church what it means to be a Christian while discussing ways they can make an impact in their own communities
7. Remove the stigma those who struggle with addictions, trauma and mental illnesses face both from themselves and the community
8. Educate the community on the strength and power those in recovery have and the wonderful things they do to begin reducing the stigma

In order to do these things, BLiR has to be able to get out and share more. There are various ways to accomplish the goals above, and they are to complete the Better Life in Recovery documentary , complete writing the book entitled Spiritual Spackle and filing for non-profit status for Better Life in Recovery, Inc. Those 3 things will allow BLiR to really begin sharing the message of hope and recovery.

I know that I need to do this. I was built from the ground up to do this, and I am a little depressed currently because I feel that I am not making the type of impact that I need to be because I am not reaching my goals. I feel that I have been given a commission and a second chance and I am squandering it. This is where you can really help me if you are so inclined.

For starters, BLiR will be having a fundraiser at the end of Summer or the beginning of Fall. My wife will be putting this together, but I know that she needs help in multiple ways. She needs someone to help her plan the event. It will be for 50 people and we do not even know who those 50 people will be. It will consist of a meal, a discussion of what Better Life in Recovery, Inc purpose and vision are and a silent auction.

BLiR needs items donated for the silent auction. BLiR needs 45 attendees that can help us meet our goal of raising between $2,000-5,000. This money will pay for the event, help us file for nonprofit status and hopefully allow us to throw another BLiR event. BLiR also needs people to talk about and share the event once we have the date.

BLiR needs to finish the documentary. In order to do that, there is a need people who  have overcame struggles with drugs, alcohol, eating and abuse that are willing to share that story on camera. The need is currently for youth and young adults that are not Caucasian. If that is you or you know someone who is willing please let get a hold of me.

Finally, BLiR needs to have more events and I need to speak more. This can only be accomplished by me getting more opportunities. I speak in and at schools, events, seminars, trainings, churches, recovery groups, small groups, youth groups, city/school council meetings, etc. If you or someone you know has a venue that I could speak at or would like to partner with BLiR for a BLiR event, please contact me.