Exhausted but Blessed

I have had a very busy week. I am promoting the project that I am working on entitled "Better Life in Recovery" and it is nonstop activity. I am in the running for a Pepsi Refresh grant, and am against 223 other projects. I have to be in the top 15 in order to get the grant to finish my project. I started out in 21st but have dropped to 25th. So I have been trying to get the word out.

On Friday I went to Missouri State and talked to a couple of department heads about what we are doing. That night I was at the Randy Bacon Studio on First Friday Art Walk. I was there with my wife and a couple who will be in the documentary. We handed out fliers and discussed the project.

Saturday I emailed every fraternity and sorority at Missouri State, every club and organization that the college has asking them for help. I spent several hours on the computer doing that. Later we got a phone call and started an alliance with a couple of other projects.

Sunday I handed out fliers at church to start the day off. I was there for both services and the pastor mentioned the project at the end of both services, also. Later that night I got the project retweeted by several worship entertainers. Matt Maher was the first. Then Charlie Lowell from Jars of Clay and the Jars of Clay official twitter account. Mike Scheuchzer from Jars of Clay was next. Then I was retweeted by Stephen Mason of Mercy Me followed by fellow bandmate Barry Graul. Chris Huffman of Casting Crowns also retweeted me, followed by Dan Haseltine of Jars of Clay.

Today I talked to David Parnell, the author of "Chasing the Dragon." I am meeting with him tomorrow before he talks at the O'Reilly Center to see if he will give me a couple of minutes to talk to the audience. He seemed very receptive when I spoke to him. 88.3 The Wind posted our information on Facebook and my wife did an interview on KLFC with Keith O'Neil about the project.

That is what we have done, and yet we have dropped 4 spots in the past week to # 25 after starting at 21. I am perplexed, to say the least. If anyone can help me spread the word, I would appreciate it. All that I need are people to text 109546 to 73774 every day for the month of November and tell all of their friends to do the same. If you can help me in any way, please let me know.

Any organization that lends a hand, please let me know so that I can thank you!!

Still on vacation... I want to love like that/Praise you in this Storm

My son is still surprising me every day on this vacation. He walked all day long once again today. This is the same son who cannot walk from the car to the tram at Silver Dollar City. He walked today from 10:30 - 7 at Walt Disney's Hollywood Studios. Two straight days of walking, running and jumping when he generally just perches on my shoulders.

He asked all of the time for me to bend down, just like he does when he wants to be picked up. The awesome part was, when I would bend down he would give me a kiss and keep walking. He loves me with his whole heart, and that heart is huge.
This vacation has been great, and I have been awed by his affection.

Do not get me wrong, his love overwhelms me often. Everytime that he sees me, when I drop him off at daycare and when I tuck him in at night he gives hugs and kisses and lets me know that he loves me. He even acts that way when I put him in timeout after he gets out of the corner. That is love.

I want to rely on God like my son does me. I want to love Christ the way my son loves me. Don't get me wrong, I try to love God with all that I have and all that I am. I feel that I could do a better job, and my son has shown me what unconditional means.

My son has me there to pick him up when he feels that he cannot make it on his own. He gets tired, and he is confident that all he has to do is look at me and put his arms up and I will swoop down and pop him up on my shoulders, making his day easier.

I know that all I have to do is turn things over to God when they get to overwhelm me. I know it, but it is sometimes hard to do. I pray for his will to be done, but I sometimes forget that his will and mine are not always the same. If I do what He wants me to, I find that my life is easier. When I try to do His will, he pops me up on His shoulders and insures that I suceed. But I sometimes forget to do that.

My son shows me that he loves me no matter what. If he is having fun or in trouble, if it is just me or it is in front of his friends he is unafraid to show me how much he loves me. He will scream "I love you whole wide world" across his daycare with it full of kids.

I want to continue building my relationship with Christ to the point that I am unafraid to vocally claim my love. I will be unafraid to pray no matter who is around. I will tell others of the changes that the Holy Spirit has wrought in me regardless of who might judge me. I will raise my hands in worship no matter who is next to me or watching, even if I am the only one in the room who worships that way.

I spent my whole life in agony denying there was a God. I will spend the rest of my life in love with the force that recreated me and gave me a life that I can be proud of. I will praise God in the peaks and valleys, the feasts and the famines, the sunny days and in the storms. I know how miserable my life was without Christ, and I know how blessed I am now with Christ.