Tactics by Gregory Koukl Chapter 3 - Getting in the Driver's Seat: The Columbo Tactic

Are you ready? Have you have finally gotten to the point in your relationship with God that you want to share it with others? Do these quotes represent you?

• "I am ready and willing to defend my faith to others."
• "I know that I have THE Truth and THE Way. Not a truth, but THE TRUTH!"
• "I will not be ashamed, I will not be intimidated and I will not get angry but will instead share my faith proudly with others and communicate with others the Truth!"

You are ready, and the opportunity presents itself. Someone says "I don't believe in God. There is simply no proof" or "Who are you to say that Christianity is better than other religions? Jesus just taught about love, just like every other religion! Who are you to tell everybody how they should live and what they should believe?" and you completely shut down. Your mind either goes blank or 10 different ways to defend your faith run through your head at once and you can't grab any of them. Just like that, your window of opportunity has passed and you are left shaking your head. Why did the conversation pass you by?

I am sure there are several reasons. The first may be that you have a window of about 10 seconds to engage the question before it vanishes. You miss the window, and poof it's gone! Secondly, you may not speak because you are afraid that you might lose a friend or appear too extreme. Lastly, you are looking at the opportunity in the wrong way. You feel the need to defend your faith and that can be intimidating, playing defense. The great news is that you do not have to defend your faith. That is the simplicity of the Columbo Tactic in this chapter.

In the show Columbo, the detective that the show was named after had a method of operating that was very different. He would walk in looking unprepared, sloppy and unassuming. He would look at the scene, take it all in and then ask a question. He never posed the question in a threatening way, but instead as a way to get clarification. He sometimes would even ask permission, "Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Then he would listen to the reply, which would generally lead to his asking another question.

Mr. Koukl says that you can, "go on the offensive in an inoffensive way by using carefully selected questions to productively advance the conversation."  Asking questions serves several purposes. It displays interest in the person speaking, allowing them to feel cared about. It also educates you on the other person's beliefs. Finally, questions allow you to stay on the offensive, sitting in the driver's seat of a conversation. If you have not stated your own beliefs, you have nothing to defend. The pressure for you is nonexistent and you can enjoy a relaxed conversation while steering it in the direction you want it to go in.

The best question is, "What do you mean by that?" or a variation thereof. It is an open-ended question that engages the person in an interactive way. It helps them clarify their point of view. It will make them spell out their objections instead of allowing them to use popular slogans, repeating what they have heard others say or staying vague in their beliefs. It may even surprise you how many people answer the question "What do you mean by that?" with a blank stare because they do not even know why they believe as they do.

Think of the first statement I used earlier, "I don't believe in God. There is simply no proof." The first question could be clarification of what they mean by God. Do they mean they don't believe in some white bearded old man sitting in space on a giant throne? Good, me neither! Do they mean that they don't believe in a personal God but instead in a force like nature, or are they purely atheistic? That may be pertinent information to know.

Now that you have clarified what they mean by God, you can advance the conversation while staying in the drivers seat by asking another question. The follow-up question could be to find out what type of proof they need. Will they accept historical, scientific or philosophical proof? Can the proof be beyond a reasonable doubt or must it be absolute? You see, the entire time you are having them state what they believe and you have not yet said anything about your own belief.

The second statment, "Who are you to say that Christianity is better than other religions? Jesus just taught about love, just like every other religion! Who are you to tell everybody how they should live and what they should believe?" could give us pause also. So we could start by asking about the other religions that they have studied. So in your studies, you have found that all religions are alike? followed by Why are the similarities more important than the differences? Isn't telling people to love each other telling them how they should live and what they should believe? Can you see how these questions set them up for conversation without them getting angry? Instead, the cause the conversation to continue and you have not had to argue your case at all!

That is why you must never be afraid to ask questions. Questions will force the people you are conversing with to think very carefully about what they mean. That will give you time to think and the ability to see openings when they present themselves. Remember, you are not having the conversation to win them to Christ. You are just looking for a rock to put in their shoe. You want to make them think. Argument does not bring people to Christ, encountering the Holy Spirit does. You are just creating a God-sized hole in their way of thinking for the Holy Spirit to fill-in later.

Living Free - And so it begins.....

Hello my name is Scott and I’m a …….. 

You see, this is the paramount difference between Living Free and many other programs that are available for people with Life Consuming Issues ( LCI ).  I have come to believe that I have been transformed and can not be defined by a label.  The reason this is possible? I have been healed by the amazing love and power of Jesus! Sounds cheesy, right? Inside church settings and programs the terms we throw around  lose translation to the rest of the world, especially the secular world.  I really can’t speak for you, a group of people, or anyone in generalizations. I can only speak for me. 

I have been changed by the power of God and now I have the Awesome opportunity to help other people. Not because I have the answers, but because I know who does. I serve only as a simple sign pointing upwards that says, “ hope and healing is possible and available. All you have to do is ask!” 

I have been asked to speak weekly via this blog regarding the beginning of a program my wife and I serve as coordinators for in our church called Living Free.  I admit very candidly that I have never participated in a blog but I am a man who will be honest and open as I proceed with this task.  If it somehow helps someone or serves to point them to a new beginning of hope, it is worth it. 

The journey began January 20^th with the first open facilitator training at our church for Living Free and culminated with the graduation of my team of facilitators. June 21^st we began and I am pleased to report a positive start: 17 adults, 10 children, 8 facilitators and 6 children’s workers.  That results in a total of 41 people involved in Living Free at our church for the first night.  Wow, to God be all the Glory and praise.  This result is right at ½ of what had pre-registered, but I know the best is yet to come.  We are not discouraged. This is amazing!

 

As I close this first Blog let me just say to you what my team has been saying for months

“God’s Got this”

Blessings,

Scott

Countries

This is a list of countries that have visited the Spiritual Spackle site, and I will add more as they visit. I am amazed at the different places that have visited to read about everything from the power of the Holy Spirit to Christ's Grace to Apologetics to the dangers of addiction and ways to overcome it. This site is my outreach to those who suffer from the consequences of life in this world, whether it is childhood abuse, addiction, grief and loss, anger, bad relationships, depression and other things that are thrown at us to separate us from Christ. I also look to build upon my faith and strengthen not only mine but those who read. Only the Holy Spirit will suffice in healing us and instilling life-changing hope. Everything else is only temporary!

1. Albania 
2. Algeria
3. American Samoa
4. Antigua and Barbuda
5. Argentina
6. Armenia
7. Aruba
8. Australia
9. Austria
10. Azerbaijan
11. Bahamas
12. Bahrain
13. Bangladesh
14. Barbados
15. Belgium
16. Bermuda
17. Botswana
18. Brazil
19. Bulgaria
20. Cambodia
21. Canada
22. Chile
23. China
24. Colombia
25. Congo [DRC]
26. Costa Rica
27. Cyprus
28. Czech Republic
29. Damascus
30. Denmark
31. Dominica
32. Dominican Republic
33. Ecuador
34. Egypt
35. El Salvador
36. Estonia
37. Fiji
38. Finland
39. France
40. Gabon
41. Georgia
42. Germany
43. Ghana
44. Greece
45. Guam
46. Guatemala 
47. Guyana
48. Haiti
49. Honduras
50. Hong Kong
51. Hungary
52. Iceland
53. India
54. Indonesia
55. Iran
56. Iraq
57. Ireland
58. Isle of Man
59. Israel
60. Italy
61. Jamaica
62. Japan
63. Jordan
64. Kazakhstan
65. Kenya
66. Latvia
67. Lebanon
68. Lesotho
69. Lithuania
70. Luxembourg
71. Macedonia (FYROM)
72. Malawi
73. Malaysia
74. Maldives
75. Malta
76. Mauritius
77. Mexico
78. Micronesia
79. Moldova
80. Montenegro
81. Namibia
82. Nepal
83. Netherlands
84. New Zealand
85. Nigeria
86. Norway
87. Pakistan
88. Palestine
89. Panama
90. Papua New Guinea
91. Peru
92. Philippines
93. Poland
94. Portugal
95. Puerto Rico
96. Romania
97. Russia
98. Saudi Arabia
99. Serbia
100. Seychelles
101. Singapore
102. Slovakia
103. Slovenia
104. South Africa
105. South Korea
106. Spain
107. Sri Lanka
108. Swaziland
109. Sweden
110. Switzerland
111. Taiwan
112. Tanzania
113. Thailand
114. Trinidad and Tabago
115. Tunisia
116. Turkey
117. Turks and Caicos Islands
118. Uganda
119. Ukraine
120. United Arab Emirates
121. United Kingdom
122. United States
123. Uruguay
124. Venezuela
125. Vietnam
126. Zambia
127. Zimbabwe

Truth Project Week One

The Truth Project this week looks at what is truth and introduces us to a new word (read that Truth Project created Latin) that the lesson calls veritology, or the "study of truth." Dr. Tackett shows us what we will be studying over the course of the Truth Project, which ranges from God to Man, Truth to Social Order and a lot in between.

There are several questions that are asked during the course of this lesson that really stuck out to me. The first question was, "What is Truth." His answer for this was from an 1828 copy of Webster's American Dictionary of the English Language that defined truth as "Conformity to fact or reality; exact accordance with that which is, or has been, or shall be. We rely upon the truth of the scriptural prophecies."

Wow, right there in Webster's Dictionary we are told that Truth is found through reliance on the scriptural prophecies. That is a huge statement, and one that assuredly would not go over in today's touchy, feely mainstream. It looks at scripture, which might leave some people out. It even looks at Biblical scripture, which not only leaves out atheists and agnostics but also those who do not use the Bible. That means that not only are some people left out, but some people are wrong. Acknowledging that fact makes some people mad (mostly those who are left out and/or are wrong).

I am sorry, but life leaves some people out. Some of us are right, and some of us are wrong. Case in point, I am an Illinois fan that lives in Missouri. I am surrounded by Mizzou fans who are as proud of their team as I am of the Illini. We both want our teams to win when they play each other. Last year I stated proudly, as I always do, that the Illini would win the Battle of the Border. My friends argued that Missouri would win it. No matter how much faith each of us had in our position, one of us was wrong. In the end, even though we both used statistics and history to validate our claims and postulate them as facts, one of us was wrong (Sadly enough, it was I who was wrong last year).

The next question I liked was "How does man react to truth?" The Bible gives us numerous scriptures, such as 2 Timothy 4:3-4, "For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths."

It is becoming less and less popular to be Christian. We go off to school and are taught by a lot of the professors in the secular institutions that evolution is a fact, and only someone uneducated would believe in God. Even worse, we have those who profess to be Christian who do not teach fundamentally sound doctrine. They take parts of what Jesus said and use it out of context in order to gain followers, or to get more money into their coffers. I think of many of the evangelists that I see on television, or those who teach that God loves us just as we are and is happy with us even if we continue to sin.

The Bible warns us of these people. In fact, the Bible states that man will suppress the truth (Romans 1:18), distort the truth (Acts 20:30), reject the truth to follow evil (Romans 2:9) and even exchange the truth for a lie (Romans 1:25). This tends to be the popular choice, to live a lie even when we know the truth. There is a battle that is being fought constantly today. The Truth Project refers to it as the cosmic battle.

The cosmic battle is the ongoing fight between God and Satan, the truth versus the lie, reality versus illusion. There is a battle of worldviews that is erupting in our culture, and we need to be more than evangelists and ministers. We need to be ambassadors of the message. Think of us as the public relations department for Jesus. Are we living in a way that brings people to God or are we polarizing people because our works do not match our words? Do we follow the truth, or do we live a watered down version of the truth.

Even a half-truth is a lie, and lies are from Satan. The Bible clearly tells us this in John 8:44, "You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies." Are we living as children of God, or does the way we live our lives indicate that we are living as children of Satan. So we need to live our lives by not lying. We need to live our lives by telling the truth. So, what is truth?

Ravi Zacharias says that the single most important question that we can ask ourselves is what is truth.  Zacharias defines it as, "That which affirms prepositionally the nature of reality as it is." R.C. Sproul defines truth as, "That which corresponds to reality as perceived by God, because God's perception of reality is never distorted." As defined early, truth is not subjective, but objective. Just because I believed that my team would win did not make it so. If you say that the sky is blue and I say that it is yellow, one of us is surely right and the other is wrong. If you say that there is no God, and I say that there is........one of us is wrong and the other right. I know that God exists, period. I can prove this fundamentally, historically, philosophically, scripturally as well as logically.
The final question that is asked in Week 1 is this, "Do you really believe that what you believe is really real?" If you do believe that it is real, can you intelligently defend your beliefs? Do you have the knowledge to defend your position and the ability to do so civilly and intelligently?

Even more importantly, if we do believe it to be true, than we would follow the truth that Christ laid out for us. So if what God tells us is the truth, why do we shy away from it? Most of us would argue that we do not, and that we follow God's commands. If that is true, does your life truly reflect that you follow God's commands? Have you allowed your faith to become watered down? Do you treat the word of God as your guide book, or do you constantly look for loop holes so that you can do as you please and feel that you get away with it? Do you listen to the authors and preachers/pastors who tell you what you want to hear and not what the scriptures truly say?

Examine your life, and ask yourself this question: Do I really believe that what I believe is really real, and do my actions reflect that what I believe is real really matters?

The Truth Project Introduction

I am starting to attend a small group called the Truth Project at my church on Wednesday nights. It was created by Focus on the Family. They describe the series as follows:

"What is Focus on the Family's The Truth Project^®?

In a recent study, the Barna Research Group revealed a stunning statistic that continues to reverberate throughout the evangelical world. Only 9 percent of professing Christians have a biblical worldview.

Because of this, today's believers live very similarly to non-believers. A personal sense of significance is rarely experienced, we spend our money and time on things that fail to satisfy and we begin to wonder what life's ultimate purpose really is. We are, in short, losing our bearings as a people and a nation.

To counter this slide within the body of Christ, we are launching one of the most ambitious and powerful projects in the history of our ministry—Focus on the Family's The Truth Project.

The Truth Project is a DVD-based small group curriculum comprised of 13 one-hour lessons taught by Dr. Del Tackett. This home study is the starting point for looking at life from a biblical perspective. Each lesson discusses in great detail the relevance and importance of living the Christian worldview in daily life.

We believe this one project represents the possibility for exponential change within the body of Christ, as we expect that thousands will be transformed by this curriculum. As it has been throughout history, God continues to call ordinary people to make an eternal difference in our world.
 
We invite you to be a part of this cultural change by participating in or leading a small group of your own. Contact us to learn how you can get involved in Focus on the Family's The Truth Project!"

I am excited to begin this small group, and as each week passes I will let you know the things that really stuck out to me and what I have gotten out of the group. I feel that we should all have the ability to defend our beliefs while not being confrontational, and this series is possibly a great way to do that. I once had a professor define intelligence to me this way, "An intelligent person is someone who can equally debate both sides of the discussion."

I hope to learn not only the Christian perspective better in this small group, but the secular world's view too. In learning better what the secular and Christian worldviews are, I can then better defend my position by learning about both. I also hope to see ways to improve upon how I am currently living so that I can become a better father, husband, friend and counselor. I hope you will enjoy reading my blog on The Truth Project so that you can take the 13 Week journey with me.

Still on vacation... I want to love like that/Praise you in this Storm

My son is still surprising me every day on this vacation. He walked all day long once again today. This is the same son who cannot walk from the car to the tram at Silver Dollar City. He walked today from 10:30 - 7 at Walt Disney's Hollywood Studios. Two straight days of walking, running and jumping when he generally just perches on my shoulders.

He asked all of the time for me to bend down, just like he does when he wants to be picked up. The awesome part was, when I would bend down he would give me a kiss and keep walking. He loves me with his whole heart, and that heart is huge.
This vacation has been great, and I have been awed by his affection.

Do not get me wrong, his love overwhelms me often. Everytime that he sees me, when I drop him off at daycare and when I tuck him in at night he gives hugs and kisses and lets me know that he loves me. He even acts that way when I put him in timeout after he gets out of the corner. That is love.

I want to rely on God like my son does me. I want to love Christ the way my son loves me. Don't get me wrong, I try to love God with all that I have and all that I am. I feel that I could do a better job, and my son has shown me what unconditional means.

My son has me there to pick him up when he feels that he cannot make it on his own. He gets tired, and he is confident that all he has to do is look at me and put his arms up and I will swoop down and pop him up on my shoulders, making his day easier.

I know that all I have to do is turn things over to God when they get to overwhelm me. I know it, but it is sometimes hard to do. I pray for his will to be done, but I sometimes forget that his will and mine are not always the same. If I do what He wants me to, I find that my life is easier. When I try to do His will, he pops me up on His shoulders and insures that I suceed. But I sometimes forget to do that.

My son shows me that he loves me no matter what. If he is having fun or in trouble, if it is just me or it is in front of his friends he is unafraid to show me how much he loves me. He will scream "I love you whole wide world" across his daycare with it full of kids.

I want to continue building my relationship with Christ to the point that I am unafraid to vocally claim my love. I will be unafraid to pray no matter who is around. I will tell others of the changes that the Holy Spirit has wrought in me regardless of who might judge me. I will raise my hands in worship no matter who is next to me or watching, even if I am the only one in the room who worships that way.

I spent my whole life in agony denying there was a God. I will spend the rest of my life in love with the force that recreated me and gave me a life that I can be proud of. I will praise God in the peaks and valleys, the feasts and the famines, the sunny days and in the storms. I know how miserable my life was without Christ, and I know how blessed I am now with Christ.

What My Son Taught Me on Vacation About Being a Christian

My son has gotten into a habit that I thoroughly enjoy now, but would be annoying if he were to continue it into his teenage years. He never wants to walk anywhere. As soon as we get out of the car, he will turn and look at me with arms uplifted and say," Daddy, carry me" to which I now reply, "You will look really funny riding on my shoulders when you are 16" as I pick him up.

He rides on my shoulders regardless of where we go. He wants me to carry him when we go to the supermarket, the park, Silver Dollar city, the mall, McDonald's or church. He may walk, but he never walks more than 2 or 3 minutes. Every time he asks, I stoop down and pick him up. I simply cannot tell him no.

The reason for refusing to tell him no is the memories I have of my father carrying me on his shoulders. I remember how connected I felt to my dad when I was perched right by his ear, whispering questions and telling him I loved him. I thought I could see everything, and I knew that my dad loved me. That is why I do not tell him no when he asks me, and he never walks more than a couple of minutes.

This all changed yesterday at Walt Disney World Animal Kingdom. He walked, which on occasion he does. What was different this time is that he never asked me to pick him up. We were at Animal Kingdom from 9 AM to 6:30 PM and he walked the entire time. I was surprised, but not truly amazed.

The reason for his walking yesterday is quite simple. He thoroughly enjoyed everything he saw and everything he did while at Disney. There was not a minute that his enthusiasm or curiosity was not piqued. Walking was no longer a chore, it was a path to fulfilling his desires.

As I reflected on the day I was reminded of Matthew 18:3, which says, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

When it comes to our faith, a lot of us are like my son. We expect those around us to do all of the work for us. We expect our pastor and our small group leader to do all the research, and explain everything to us. We do not want to spend time doing anything for ourselves. We lack both enthusiasm and curiosity when it comes to God. Why is this?

The problem is that we do simple math, and think we have the equation worked out: Church + tithe + small group = saved. That is all that we think that we have to do. We may know that we need to do more, but we think that we can coast. We choose to forget the first of what Christ told us are the 2 commandments to live by in Matthew 22, Mark 12 and Luke 10. It was also mentioned in Deuteronomy 6:5.

This command is to love God with our whole heart, mind, strength and soul. When you love something or someone that deeply it never leaves your mind. It is your first thought in the morning, and the last thing in your head as you go to sleep. It is something you enjoy, and it is not a chore.

Part of the issue here is that we are no longer curious when it comes to learning about Christ. I think most of us feel that after we get baptized everything is easy from here. We think, "I am saved, and that is all that I need to do. Why should I have to put time into a relationship?" I think that this is why a lot of marriages fail, too. Once the vows are exchanged and we put the ring on, we feel that we no longer need to work on building the relationship. That is probably a good subject for another blog.

We also lack enthusiasm, because worshiping God is not that the cool or hip thing to do. When your friends ask you why you did not come out last night, it is pretty lame to tell them it was because you were reading the Bible\meditating\praying. Why don't we stay home and do that. What is really so cool about hanging out with her friends.

I don't know about you, but I would much rather have eternal life than the friendship of some drunks and hedonists. That may sound harsh, but sometimes we have to be. Christ said he did not come to bring peace, but a sword that would divide households.

If we're to be divided from our own family, it would stand to reason that we would also be divided from our friends. We need to once again make reading the Bible, praying, meditating and reading books to assist us in living a Christian life a huge part of our life. We need to start enjoying building our relationship with Christ. If we are truly infused with the Holy Spirit we should be. If we are not enthused, than we need to look at what we are not doing right. I will write about how we can make Christ a major part of our lives in the future.