Tithing Part 1

This is the second blog that I have written about my experience with tithing. The first one that I wrote was entitled Tithing Part 2. It is entitled that because on the time line of my life, it happened after my first experience with being faithful in tithing. I know that may sound confusing, but it is really not. You can read about it here: http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2011/05/tithing-part-2.html

When I first got saved, I decided that I needed to tithe. Before I got saved, I was attending church sporadically and would drop $5 or $10 in the basket as it went around. After I got saved I realized that was not enough. I was led to give more. I realized that 10% was an Old Testament concept, and that the New Testament did not state an actual percentage. So, what was I to give and how should I decide that?

2 Corinthians 9:7 says,  “Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”  and Philippians 4:6 directs us also when it says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."


Using those scriptures for guidance, I decided to pray and then tithe what I was led to by my heart. I prayed, and 10% was laid on my heart to give to my church. I have tithed 10% since ever since then, without fail. I like that 2 Corinthians 9:7 says what it does about not giving because we feel compelled to. I don't have to give 10%, I get to give 10%. Tithing is not an obligation, but a privilege. I love the fact that I can contribute to my church and to the ministries that my church funds. I have been blessed, so I share that blessing.

We should never see tithing as a chore, or put saving before tithing. We need to be aware of the importance that we place upon money. Why should we not share our wealth? Luke 12:15 warns us against getting caught up in greed and coveting our money when it says , "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” We are to worship God, not material things. Give, and more will be given to us. Maybe not in this life, but for all eternity in the next one!


Furthermore, 10% is not all that I give. Your monetary tithe to your church is not all that you should give, either! If there are ministries that I want to give to or capital campaigns (like the Pay it Forward campaign that we had at New Life Church), I give over and above the 10%. I do not feel that we are commanded to give 10%, but that is the amount that was laid on my heart to give financially. Also, money is not all that we should be giving away freely!

Galatians 6:2 says, "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." and 1 John 3:17-18 says, "If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth."


This scripture backs up how I feel. Giving of our time is equally if not more important than tithing. I tell my clients that one of the most important things that I have learned in recovery is that community service is not something that is assigned by a judge or a probation officer. It is the act of us giving of ourselves out of a DESIRE to help others, not out of guilt. I think that it is really easy to write a check. It is difficult to give of your free time to help those less fortunate and smile the whole time you are doing it. 


Back to my story. So it was laid on my heart to tithe 10%. I then looked at my finances, and saw that if I tithed as I was being led to, I would only have $50 a week for food and entertainment. I do not mean food like going out to eat food, I mean food like groceries in the fridge and the pantry I would starve without having food. I decided that I could live on that $50 a week, even though at the time I was spending $120 a week on food and entertainment. I would just have to tighten my belt, as they say. No more movies or dining out for me.


That Sunday, I went into church with the amount I was to tithe. I filled out an envelope and dropped it into the basket. I was finally giving to support the church as I felt that I was supposed to. I knew that it would make my life a little difficult, but nowhere does it say that Christ called us to be comfortable. Christ even looks at how giving out of abundance is not nearly as important as giving to the point of being uncomfortable in Luke 12:41-44:
"Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.  Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything-all she had to live on." 
 So I tithed on Sunday. Monday I went into work and as soon as I got to staffing, my boss told me to talk to her after staffing was over in her office. I went to her office and met with her after staffing and got great news. She told me that because I was going to be graduating soon, she was going to give me some more things to do at work. The new responsibilities translated into a different job title and a higher salary. Needless to say, the increase in my pay was over and above what I was tithing. 


Even with tithing 10% on the increase in my pay, I was still taking home more than I was before I began tithing. I was overjoyed, but not  at all surprised. By this time, God had already shown me how powerful He could be. This was just one more way that God has blessed my life, and it is another way that I have to brag on Him. He can do all things, and is happy to do so. 


His grace never ceases to amaze me. There are times now that I am married with a child when the bills are tight and we have trouble making ends meet. We live paycheck to paycheck and are probably two paychecks from being homeless.........but so is almost everybody else. If we are hurting, our tithe is never even mentioned as a something to fore go so as to pay our bills. We look at cutting corners with food, or accepting that we cannot eat out or go see a movie for the rest of the month(or several months). But what if my needs and the needs of my family are not being taken care of?

We must always insure that our family is provided for. Maybe you have been laid off or are having some other form of financial difficulty and cannot afford to put food in the pantry or pay your rent. You are not required to keep giving. For those people, I would give them 1 Timothy 5:12, "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." If you cannot afford to buy food for your family or pay the rent, you should not be giving to the church. In this case, the church should be helping you!


That said, God should always come first and foremost in our lives. If we remain faithful to Him, He will continue to bless us. Do not be confused or let prosperity preacher's mislead you. We are not blessed by what we give, we are blessed by grace which cannot be earned or bought. Tithing does not equal salvation! You can tithe and still not be saved. 1 Corinthians 13:3 states, "If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."  

In summary, tithing does not have to be 10%. Tithing needs to be the amount that God places on your heart after you pray for direction and guidance. You should seek God's counsel before making any decisions, financial or otherwise, then follow it. If you cannot give what God lays on your heart to give, then you need to reexamine your lifestyle and your spending habits and revisit the difference between wants and needs. In case of emergency, there may be times that some people need help financially from the church instead of helping the church. Perfectly acceptable, life happens! In these times, I would recommend that as a good time to focus on volunteering your time to help others (not that you shouldn't always give of your time). Lastly, do not only give financially, but also give freely of your time. Do all of this not out of obligation but out of love! Thanks for reading!!

Celebrate Recovery Lesson 2 - POWERLESS

Lesson 2 - POWERLESS

Principle 1: Realize I'm not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.

"Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor." Matthew 5:3

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.

"I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." (Romans 7:18)

When we accept the first recovery principle and take that first step out of our denial and into reality, we there are very few things that we really have control over. Once we admit that by ourselves we are powerless we can stop living with the following serenity robbers, the bandits that steal away our faith and hope, spelled out in the following acrostic:

P ride
O nly ifs
W orry
E scape
R esentment
L oneliness
E mptiness
S elfishness
S eparation

PRIDE – Ignorance + pride + power = a deadly mixture
Proverbs 29: 23 - "Pride ends in a fall, while humility brings honor."

List some of the ways that your pride has stopped you from asking for and getting the help you need to overcome your hurts, hang-ups, and habits.
I'm supposed to have it together. I'm the one that my friends and family come to when they need encouragement and advice.  I am a counselor, I should not have any problems. I have this under control, I can do this my way. My way is the last addiction, holding onto the locus of control. Pride forgets God, or feels our plans for our lives are better. Want to make God laugh, tell him your  plans for your future.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:9)

ONLY IFS - keep us trapped in a fantasyland of rationalization
Luke 12: 2, 3 - "Whatever is covered up will be uncovered, and every secret will be made known. So then, whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in broad daylight."

What in your past has caused you to have the "if onlys"?  Ex.:"If only" I had stopped ______years ago.  "If only" ______________ hadn't left me.

If only I wasn’t a felon, if only I wasn’t an addict, if only I had a job, if only I, if only I, If I only had a brain! In this program we start testimonies with I am a grateful believer in JC who struggles with __________. I do not struggle with ______, instead I have been blessed with many trials and tribulations that have strengthened me and my relationship with my higher power.

WORRYING – a from of not trusting god enough

Matthew 6:34 - "Don't be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time."
What is worry? It is defined as, "to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret. To torment with cares, anxieties, etc.

Instead of worrying about things that we cannot control, we need to focus on what God can do in our lives.  What are you worrying about?  Why?
If I worry, that simply means that I am not trusting God enough. If I truly believe in God, than I know one thing - God's got this! If you have trouble, try this short little prayer:

So, Lord - I give these worries to you.  Lord forgive me for worrying - I know your word says to not be anxious for anything - Lord help me to trust you more!

ESCAPE –a world of fantasy and unrealistic expectations of us and others
Ephesians 5: 13, 14 - "For the light is capable of showing up everything for what it really is. It is possible for the light to turn the thing it shines upon into light also."

In what ways have you tried to escape your past pain?  Be specific.

I have tried to dull the pain with excess foods, drugs, alcohol, relationships, shopping, violence and sex. I have learned to recognize the pain now for what it is and am able to work through it with the Lord's help.  It's a vicious cycle - life's stress and regrets can make me feel hopeless and then I use, and that makes me feel even more hopeless so I use again - You can only imagine how glad to be off of that merry-go-round I am. I'm no longer hiding from these things and have searched myself and realized that my not trusting the Lord is sin, and that the act of addiction is sin, and not exercising and treating my body as God's temple is sin - so I've repented from these things - I still fail, but I'm recognizing it quicker and getting back on track.

RESENTMENTS – an emotional cancer if allowed to fester and grow
Ephesians 4: 26-27 - "In your anger do not sin ... do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."

How has holding on to your anger and your resentments affect you?

It's made me sick.  Holding onto these things and stuffing down the feelings with addiction, has kept me from growing up and growing in the Lord. This has been a process of uncovering things I was holding on to and had to really internalize that if God loved me so much, enough to send his son to die for me - and has forgiven me - then I needed to let go and "accept" his forgiveness and trust in his forgiveness.

LONELINESS – In recovery and in Christ, we never have to walk alone
Hebrews 13: 1, 2 - "Continue to love each other with true brotherly love. Don't forget to be kind to strangers, fos some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it."

Do you believe that loneliness is a choice?  Why or why not?  How has your denial isolated you from your important relationships?

Yes, loneliness isdefinitely a choice. It may be subconscious at times, but it is a choice.  I can remember feeling so lonely in my house of five.  I became so self centered that I could not think about anyone else, but myself.  Again, this has a been a process to overcome the detachment, isolation and self-centeredness - I still battle the negative thinking that no-one wants me around and such - but I've learned to tell myself otherwise - learning scripture has helped keep me grounded. Learning who I am in Christ and then realizing that others are thinking and feeling the same way that I am- helps me to focus on them and share God's love with them - and realize that even if no one is around, the Lord is always there.  If I can't get others focused - I can almost always get Christ focused!

EMPTINESS
John 10:10 - "My purpose is to give life in all its fullness."

Describe the emptiness you feel and some new ways you are finding to fill it?

I used to feel empty. I felt that I had no purpose, that I was nothing, no good, a junkie and a convict. When I woke up in the morning as an Agnostic, I knew that right there was probably the best that I would feel all day, maybe the rest of my life. That kind of not having anything to look forward to was depressing. I have found contentment and joy in the Bible. God's word fills me with his promises and hope for tomorrow and I've gotten a lot of joy sharing that same love and joy with others to help make their lives full!

SELFISHNESS – we often pray, our father who art in heaven, gimme gimme
Luke 17:33 - "Whoever clings to his life shall lose it, and whoever loses his life shall save it."
What does it mean to be selfish? It is defined as, "devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others. Characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself."

Selfishness is at the heart of most problems between people.  In what areas of your life have you been selfish?    
Facebook and video games began to be an issue. I would come home and pour myself into the computer, playing games and facebooking with the stress of my job as my excuse to ignore my family and play games to escape. Then I realized how much that was hurting my wife and my son. In the past I would see people that gave and gave of themselves and I admired it, but I had never really seen that in my own life. I had never even considered doing that in my own life. I had never jumped wholely into anything.  I have began to give of myself instead of only taking. I still need to give more of myself at work, more of myself to my son, more of myself to my fiancé, and more of myself to Christ. But I have started, and that is better than it was!  

SEPARATION – some talk of finding God, as if he could ever get lost
Romans 8: 38, 39 - "For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from His love. Death can't and life can't. The angels won't and all the powers of hell itslef cannot keep God's love away ... Nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when He died for us."

Separation from God can feel very real but it is never permanent.  What can you do to get closer to God?

I know all it takes is for one or two mornings to wake up a little late and then boom - I'm off on my own again. I need to remember to start my day with God, and that if He is needed He is never more than a knee away when I pray. I make my days wrong, I have the first thought wrong syndrome. With Christ guiding me I now have first thought right!  

FOUR ACTIONS from Principle 1

1.) STOP DENYING THE PAIN. You are ready to take your first step in recovery since you have identified that your pain is greater than your fear. 

Psalm 6: 2, 3 - "Pity me, O Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, for my body is sick, and I am upset and disturbed. My mind is filled with apprehension and with gloom."

2.) STOP PLAYING GOD. You are unable to do for yourself what you need God to do for you.  You are either going to serve God or yourself.  you can't serve both. 

Matthew 6: 24 - "No one can be a slave to two masters: he will hate one and love the other; he will be loyal to one and despise the other."

3.) START ADMITTING OUR POWERLESSNESS. As you work the first principle, you are  seeing that by yourself you do not have the power to change your hurts, hang-ups, and habits

Matthew 19:26 - "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

4.) START ADMITTING THAT OUR LIVES HAVE BECOME UNMANAGEABLE. You can and have admitted that some/all areas of your life are out of your control to change.

Psalm 40:12 - "Problems far too big for me to solve are piled higher than my head. Meanwhile my sins, too many to count, have all caught up with me and I am ashamed to look up."