Best of a Bad Situation or Making a Good Situation Better

We have an innate ability to control ourselves. In the program of NA/AA they sometimes talk about powerlessness, and that is a really hard concept for people to understand. By the very nature of the word, it is misunderstood. Powerlessness doesn't mean that I have no power in this situation, instead it means that I only have power over myself in the here and now. I may be powerless, but I am not helpless!

Example, you  have someone who dislikes you that you have tried to reconcile with. They will have no part in making peace. Now imagine that person is a family member or has married into your family. You HAVE to see them on a regular basis. With Christmas just passing, this may have been one of those occasions. You had a horrible time. You knew what to expect, and it happened. They glared at you and whispered about you the whole time. You were miserable!

What went wrong? You allowed someone to rent space in your head........................FOR FREE!!! There is absolutely no reason you should have had a miserable time just because of them. If they want to be angry and miserable, that is on them but that is no reason for you to allow them to have control over your emotions. After all, they are called yours for a reason. You own them and you control them.

The problem was the way you approached the event. There are multiple ways to approach the occasion. You need to pick the right one. We can make a bad situation tolerable and  a good situation horrible, it is all about our approach and the follow through.

1. Build up the event. Continue to tell yourself how horrible it is going to be. Think about how you felt in the past and replay it over and over, leading to anxiety. Then when you get there, focus on just that individual and all that they say. Cower in a corner the entire time, afraid to speak lest you bring their wrath and the scorn from the rest of your family.
2. Get ready for battle. Surely you don't have to take their abuse and the looks they give you. This time, strike first. Rehearse your verbal zingers and practice your dirty looks. This time, you are going to strike first and often. You will win............or not. Best advice I have ever heard was this, "Never get into an argument with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience."
3. Don't go. Stay home and sulk. After all, confrontation is bad and it is sure to happen. It did last time, and history repeats itself.
4. Call all of your family and whine about the person. Talk about the treatment you get from them, and let everyone else know that you are the bigger person and will rise above it all. But make sure they know if they want to take your side, you are all for it.
5. Pray for the person. Remind yourself how much fun you have hanging out with the rest of your family. Repeat the mantra "Be the bigger person." Practice the smile you will give them and make sure to seek them out once to say hi when you get there. If the attitude is still there, move on and enjoy the time you have with everyone else. It may be the last time you will see some of the people you love.

So, which one of these ways will help you to have a good time? Way number one will lead to an unenjoyable evening. The second way will end up with you looking like a complete idiot in front of every one there. Three will lead to you living in a cave and becoming a hermit. Four will lead to your family seeing it is you on their caller ID and not answering the phone. Way five will leave you feeling better and having a good time.

I have found that those who have issues with me do so mainly because of my past. In my past I was a drug addict, convict, thug, hustler, dope dealer, etc. Think of the worst things you could about someone, and they were probably true about me. That said, I have changed. People have a little while to realize that change has occurred before I tune them out.

After getting to know me, some people continue to play judge and jury. That is their choice. I used to let that bother me. That was my choice. I have come to realize that I was letting others attitudes control my own attitude. Spoiler alert, never a wise decision. Now I make a better choice. I remind myself, "People who matter don't judge and people who judge don't matter." I should never allow anyone's disposition to change mine. Attitude from others is only an issue if I let it be one!

Next time you are going to be around someone you do not like or that can't stand you, prepare for success. Remind yourself that you are there to have a good time and spend that time with the people you care about. Be nice to the person that the issue is with, and pray for them before you ever get there. Some of my best friends were people I couldn't stand at one point, and vice versa!

Christians Are Not to Judge (NOT!!)

Do we judge other people? There are those who will quote scripture to chastise and judge those who judge others. Today we are going to look at one passage in the Bible to learn about whether or not we should judge others. The reason I am going to use this particular passage is because it contains the scripture that most often gets thrown in Christian's faces when we disagree with how others live.

The argument against judging others is that Jesus, in Matthew 7:1 clearly says, "Do not judge." They read that, and most stop right there. "See, your own Jesus says that you are not to judge me or anyone else," says the sinner. They use this as a way to say, "Christians don't even follow the malarkey that they believe." With that simple sentence, do not judge, many a Christian is shut down and left speechless.

Some will even use the entire first verse of Matthew chapter 7, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged." With that comment, anyone who suggests that someone is living a life that could lead them to hell is really saying that they too are going to hell. This makes complete sense, right?!?!?! After all, if a judge sentences someone to prison he is really sending himself to prison. Of course not. That would be ludicrous and devoid of logic.

If we look at this scripture, we should automatically realize that it is not to be taken in by itself only. If this scripture is read in to, I can walk away believing that I can do whatever I want and will never be judged. I can murder, lie, steal, cheat and there are no consequences for it as long as I don't judge other people. Wahoo!! There's no rules!!!

In Matthew 7:21 Jesus says, "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." How is that possible if all we have to do is not judge others and we will get into heaven? So what is God's will Jesus speaks of? Jesus said there are two commands we are to follow in Matthew 22:37-40. He says we are to love God with all of our heart, soul and mind as well as love our neighbor as we love ourselves.

Wait, there's two rules? How can this be, if we do not get judged as long as we don't judge others? What do you mean, we won't get into heaven if we don't do God's will. I thought I couldn't get judged?? Obviously, there is a disconnect here. It is because we have not taken in the entire passage. So, lets look at the passage and see what Jesus really says.

Matthew 7:2-5 says, "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured against you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

So, when Jesus says do not judge, what He really means is do not judge out of hypocrisy. It is like an alcoholic telling someone smoking marijuana or doing methamphetamine that they need to stop because its wrong what they are doing. When I was an addict, I would have people who were next to me smoking meth tell me that I was going to hell because I was not saved. "Get saved like me and you will go to heaven too," I was told on several occasions. THIS IS ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS I STAYED AN AGNOSTIC FOR AS LONG AS I DID!!!! Jesus is saying that we are not to judge other's sin when our sin is just as bad if not worse!

Parents, how can you tell your children not to smoke cigarettes or do drugs when you are doing them yourself? How can you tell them to not cuss when you curse yourself? When we parent with a "do as I say, not as I do" mentality we are doomed to fail. Get your life in order and begin living your life as we are commanded to.

When I am not living my life well, I am not in a position to help others. Judgement consists of two things. First we look at the actions and words of someone and discern how what they mean. Then we begin to instruct them on how to live their lives better. It is not hateful to judge someones actions and then assist them. If I see someone about to do something that would kill them and do nothing, that makes me a horrible person. If we see our brothers and sisters engaging in actions that will doom them for eternity and do nothing, we are sinning. Period!!

We should be instructing others in how to live the right way. This is done to all of us from the day we are born until the day we die. Our parents, teachers, local and federal laws all instruct us on how we should conduct ourselves. So, judgement and instruction is not bad................but it can be!

We are not to tear others down, just to build ourselves up. We don't belittle or nag others. We are not to instruct others to make ourselves feel better. We are not to instruct others and be hateful or judgmental in the process. Instead, we are to live our lives well and try to help those who are our brother's in Christ do the same! We are not instructing others out of hate, but out of love. We do not walk before our brothers, but instead walk beside them.

So who are we to judge? We are to instruct and help our brothers and sisters in Christ based on what God has said in the Bible. That at times means we need to make a judgement of someone based on their words or actions. By judging someones actions or words, we can then instruct them on how to live their lives by the Word of God. This is vital!

I know the American church does not need less internal judgement. THE AMERICAN CHURCH NEEDS MORE INTERNAL JUDGEMENT, AND LESS EXTERNAL CONDEMNATION!!! We are so busy picking the dust out of the eyes of the nonbeliever that we not only ignore the tree in our own eye. we also ignore all of the sin that is in the church. We are not called to stand in judgement of the world. God will do that. We are to help our brethren. Remember, iron sharpens iron.

So in closing, we are called to judge and instruct our Christian brothers and sisters from God's Word with discernment and love by first judging ourselves. Once we have gotten our lives in order with the two commandments we can then begin to help others. In all honesty, if you see your brother doing something that you know would lead to his death and said and did nothing you would be a horrible person! So, let us begin to rebuild the church and make it strong again by l

BLiR VLog From 09/16/2012-09/22/2012

09/16 Greatest Trick the Devil Ever Pulled

09/17 The Bigger Picture AKA The Sistine Chapel

09/18 People Who Matter Don't Judge, People Who Judge Don't Matter

09/19 The New Golden Rule

09/20 Faith Without Works is Dead

09/21 Will I Die Before They Are Grown

09/22 My Passion May Not Be Your Passion

Bible Readings: Joshua Chapter 1 - 5

Today I read Joshua Chapters 1-5. It discussed the tribes of Israel coming into the promised land after the death of Moses. They are now being led by Joshua. I really liked the first chapter, as it is God talking to them and telling them what they need to do. He tells them that He has given them the laws that they must follow. In Joshua 1:8, “Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.” We are to keep His laws always, and we should be careful to do what He has asked us to. This is a great example of how often we should think about God, when the Bible says to “meditate on it day and night.” There should not be a time when Christ is not in my thoughts. When Christ is out of my mind, He is also the last thing that I am thinking of. If I put God and his commandments first in all that I do, it will help me in all aspects of my life. I will be a great husband, a great father, a great worker and a better human being.

In Joshua 1:9 it states, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” This is the first time in my reading for this section entitled Bible Readings (which are me picking up the Bible and doing a random reading) that I have came across what I know I will come across many times, which is to put your trust and faith in God and He will always be there with you. He will not always answer prayers, and everything may not always make sense to us but that is how it should be. My God is all knowing and has the ability to see all time at once. He lives beyond time. Due to that He can see the ripples, where they go and what they affect and I cannot. Due to this, it will not always make sense to me what happens. I just know that my focus needs to remain on God, and to try my best to keep my chin up and keep my faith!

In Joshua 2 we are introduced to Rahab, the prostitute. As a recovering addict and criminal, I can relate to the moniker she has been given and how it has stigmatized her. Many of us know that stigma, whether it is from addiction, divorce, mental health, etc. We need to realize that when God sees us, He sees one of His creations. He does not judge us by our past, but by our present.  Rahab was not judged harshly by God, but was instead used by Him for a higher purpose. We too, no matter who we are or what we have done, can also be used for a higher purpose. Paul once killed Christians, then became one of the biggest Christian advocates there ever was. Many would have discounted the prostitute, but not truly "holy" men. Men who love God know that it is not wise to judge others, because we are only human and see the outside appearance. God can see the heart. In Hebrews 13:2 it states,  "Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” This is something to definitely be aware of in our practices with others. How we treat others can come back and bite us in the end (no pun intended).

Then we have the crossing of the River Jordan, which is at flood stage yet miraculously dries up to allow the Israelites to cross. I had forgotten that the Jordan was crossed, much like waters were parted in the Red Sea when the Israelites left Egypt. God told them several things. To keep focused on the Ark of the Covenant, which was indicator of the presence of God. We now have the Holy Spirit, which resides in us much like the Ark of the Covenant resided among the Israelites. We should keep our focus on the Holy Spirit today! They were told to consecrate themselves first, in order to be prepared for the amazing thing God was to do for them. They were told to keep focused on the Ark and cross the Jordan and after they got across they were to put up a memorial to remember the event.

We are aked to do the same as the Israelites, but it is easier now. The Holy Spirit guides us on a daily basis. We know what we should and should not do. We must focus on where the Holy Spirit is leading us. Next, we are to consecrate ourselves, through prayer, reading, fasting, and communion. Next we are to go where God asks us to go, with no questions and no doubts. We should fully follow where the Spirit leads us. Finally, we must build our faith upon our victories and other’s victories. That is why she share testimonies in our lives, to testify and remember what God has done for and in us. This should be shared with Christians and non-Christians alike. This is done to bolster the faith of the Christian. It is also done to let everyone know that the Lord is ALL POWERFUL!!!!!