You Never Have to Use Again

I was new to the program, or newish. I had one stint of being sober. I had stayed clean for a couple of months after a residential treatment I did, but it had not taken. Looking back, I was not ready at the time. I did not have the commitment, mostly due to a confusion where I thought that my wants were actually needs. That in turn led me to craving money, which led me back to manufacturing and distributing methamphetamine. That was the only way I knew to make the money I felt I needed at the time.

Once I started selling again, I felt the need to use again. Once I used again, it was all over. I found out that my addiction did not take a couple of months off when I did. I realized quickly that although I had not been feeding my addiction, it had still grown. My addiction no longer needed my help. It was in the back of my head doing its’ thing: lifting weights, running on a treadmill and on a computer doing research.

My addiction got stronger and smarter during my time away. When I came back, the lie told me I could sell it and not use it. That quickly morphed into being able to try it just to see if it was good quality. A bump led to a bubble led to using intravenously all in the same day. It had told me lies that were almost believable. I wanted them to be true, so I ran with them.

That 13 month relapse was above and beyond the previous 16 years. In the first 16 years, I had to get my stomach pumped due to alcohol poisoning. In the next 13 months I overdosed 3 separate times. I was left for dead in a motel room, found not breathing at my house and flopped at a friend’s house and used enough that I went blind and went into seizures. Before that I had never done more than overamped. To top it all off in the week before I went to a meetingI had been at a drug deal gone bad where I had shot someone (I found out later he lived) after one of my partner’s buddies had gotten shot in the leg.

That period, a year and a month of my life, was above and beyond anything I had previously experienced. How quickly it devolved is what led me to leaving everything behind I owned and knew. I left the town I was living in and showed up at my mom’s house with nothing but a duffel bag full of clothes. I was done, and material things had lost all interest. After all, it was only stuff and none of that could replace my life if I lost it in my addiction. I figured that was next. Even if I were a cat, I was about out of lives. That is what brought me to my first meeting in Springfield.

I walked into that meeting with my friend Jay the day I moved to Springfield. I had one of Jay’s friends tell me something I had never heard before. He asked how much time I had clean, and I told him that I had less than 24 hours. He then said, “At an NA meeting with less than a day clean. That is a great start. You are at a meeting where other people who are fighting the same fight can share their strength, experience and hope with you. If you listen to them and apply what you hear here to your life, YOU NEVER HAVE TO USE AGAIN. This is an easy program that we make more difficult than it is, but the truth is YOU NEVER HAVE TO USE AGAIN.”

This is one of the most encouraging pairing of words I had ever heard, “You never have to use again.” I heard it twice in one breath at my first meeting in Springfield. I would like to tell you that the previous 13 month relapse had been my rock bottom. I would love to share with you that I had an epiphany and never used again after being told that I didn’t have to. Unfortunately, if I told you that I would be lying.

I was off of drugs for quite some time after that, but I began drinking. That drinking intensified over the next couple of years to the point that I was having an after party at my house most every night. It slowed down after I had my son, but quickly escalated after my father committed suicide.

I am a knuckle head. I seem to always have to learn things for myself. I guess I still needed to learn one more thing the hard way. I did 150 meetings in the first 90 days and then 2-5 meetings a week for the following six months and this was read from the readingHow It Works at every meeting I attended during that time:

 “Thinking of alcohol as different from other drugs has caused a great many addicts to relapse.                    Before we came to NA, many of us viewed alcohol separately, but we cannot afford to be

confused about this. Alcohol is a drug. We are people with the disease of addiction who must        abstain from all drugs in order to recover.”

I will talk more about the damaging effects of alcohol in a future blog entitled “Alcohol is a Drug, Period.”  Today, if you are struggling with addiction I just want you to know one thing, YOU NEVER HAVE TO USE AGAIN!That said, you will want to make this much harder than it really is. Here are the five pillars you must have to stay clean and sober as well as the two things you must change:

1.       Higher Power/Jesus – I know that the politically correct thing to say here is the non-specific higher power. That said, I tried the non-specific HP as an agnostic and I was back to using again.  It did not work for me. I prayed to Christ once, and since that day I have not: used drugs, drank alcohol, smoked a cigarette, had premarital sex or gotten into a fight outside of a ring in almost 5 years. I was hopeless and a higher power did nothing to instill hope in me. I found hope in Christ that not only could this life be better but there is so much more than just this life. I have something to look forward to in Christ that I did not have in my agnosticism.

2.       The Bible/12 Steps– Some may substitute the 12 steps here, and I have seen them be very effective when working with hurts, habits and hang-ups. For me, the book of James has been amazing. It is short and filled with all of the wisdom one needs to live a great life. I combine the Bible with the 12 steps through both my personal life as well as Celebrate Recovery (which I will cover in #5). Don’t just know it, but actually apply it to your life.

3.       Sponsor/Mentor – Find someone living the life you want who has overcame the struggles you are having. Have them show you how to accomplish your goals and attain your dreams. If you are going through the 12 steps, you want them to have worked the 12 steps. If you are using the Bible find someone well versed in it.

4.       Accountability Partner – I have a couple of friends that I have given permission to call me out if they see me having problems. It might be my attitude, depression, not going to groups or missing church. I also have a friend that has also struggled with addictions and found victory through Christ that I meet weekly for coffee. We share struggles, successes and give each other support and feedback. 

5.       Meetings - Narcotic’s Anonymous, Alcoholic’s Anonymous, Celebrate Recovery, Living Free, etc. This is a place where I hear people who are currently struggling and others who have found recovery. I am reminded of how strong addictions are, how much they can impact your life and that recovery is possible by both the newcomer and the old timer. Here is one of the best places to obtain hope that recovery is possible. Without hope recovery is impossible. I find more positivity and hope in one night of Celebrate Recovery than I did in 7 nights of the other recovery programs. That said, I still attend other recovery meetings because sometimes I feel the need for one when there is no CR available.

6.       Change your playmates– When I was an addict and a criminal, I hung out with addicts and criminals. When I was an alcoholic I hung out with binge drinkers and alcoholics. Like minded people hang out with like minded people. If you want to have a career and be financially stable hang out with people who have careers and financial stability. If you want to be in recovery hang out with people who are in recovery. Birds of a feather flock together and your friends will get you jacked up before you get them on the straight and narrow.

7.       Change your playgrounds – I went from hanging out in bars and clubs to working out and going to coffee houses and meetings. I found that being in bars, clubs and at the homes of people who partied was not conducive to my staying clean and sober. Adding new uncomfortable things to your life will help you make positive changes. Comfortable is what got many of us here. We need to switch it up and the best way is by filling our lives with new positive hobbies: working out, meetings, small groups, hiking, sports, community service, etc.
8.        Community Service - There is nothing that gives people hope and purpose more than rejoining with their communities and actively becoming part of them again. Working side by side with people who have not lived their lives the same way I lived mine yet they work next to me as together we make our communities stronger.

This is the short list of things to do. I will include this as well as many others in the book I am writing that I hope will be published by the end of next year entitled Spiritual Spackle: From Dealing Dope to Dealing Hope. It is a look at my addiction, from early childhood abuse to adult criminality and the things I learned from it all that have led me to a life filled with hope in recovery. For now, apply what is lined out above and I can promise that you will never have to use again! After all, there is a Better Life in Recovery!!

How to Be a "Go" Christian

What does being a “Go” Christian truly mean? Is it knowing the Bible? attending church or small groups? tithing? wearing a suit/dress to church? sitting in the front row and singing the loudest with your hands raised in worship? I would call these ingredients we can use in our life, but not the recipe for being a “Go” Christian.

To be a “Go” Christian, first we have to say “No!” We have a cross to bear, and that cross is to say no to ourselves. We must deny ourselves immoral, worldly things. We have a sinful nature, yet we must be willing to deny our basic instincts. We must die to sin—even the thought of sinning—as the early Christians did.

Some may think I am talking about not being able to have fun. If this is how you feel, you do not understand what I am saying, nor do you truly understand the sacrifice Christ made on the cross. A life without sin gives us joy. Honestly, we are giving up very little for so much. Christ did not “try His best” to die on the cross; He accomplished it. Why should we be satisfied with not giving our best?

We must also be willing to talk about Christ and our beliefs even when it is not popular. We need to take a stand for our faith and for what we believe everywhere we go: home, school, work, events, restaurants, vacation, and our neighborhoods.

When we take up our cross, we become dead to the world. Before I was a Christian and began a relationship with God, I was a sinner. I lived to fulfill my will, to make myself happy. I smoked cigarettes, drank to inebriation almost every day, fought all the time, had premarital sex, lied, cursed, and listened to music and watched movies that would make a sailor blush. I lived for me! It was all about worldly achievement and self-fulfillment. I was an example of how not to live your life.

However, since the day I gave my life to Christ, I have not smoked a cigarette, gotten drunk, had sex outside of marriage, or gotten into a fight outside of a ring. I now listen only to worship music because it puts me in a great mood. I pray in between sets at the gym on a consistent basis, and I wear worship shirts almost exclusively. I read the Bible daily and pray all the time. I am by no means perfect, but I make an effort every day to not succumb to my sinful nature. It is a start, and I can build on that.

Being a “Go” Christian means I will never do or say anything that I will have to tell my son not to repeat. It means I realize I represent God, my church, my wife and son, my employer, my deceased father, my pastor, and Celebrate Recovery everywhere I go. I will not get caught up in gossip; I will not curse; I will not yell or lie. Instead, I will talk to others about the changes the Holy Spirit has made in my life. To the best of my ability, I will live to show I love Christ.

I do not intend to boast here. Rather, I am simply saying I could not live this way without the Holy Spirit in me and the sacrifice Christ made. The cross symbolizes pain and suffering, yet we think Christ wants us to live in comfort and ease. Our lives should be living sacrifices to Christ, and that is not always easy. With that said, however, since the night I turned my life over to Christ and gave Him control, it has gotten a lot easier.

Are you a “Go” Christian? To determine that, ask yourself these questions:

1.   Is my life about self-fulfillment or Christ fulfillment?

2.   Do I live as one who is in this world or as one who is out of this world?

3.   Am I ashamed of my faith, or do I profess the gospel to all who would hear it?

4.   Is my life a living sacrifice to Jesus?

If you answered yes to these questions, congratulations! You are a “Go” Christian, so keep it up. If you did not answer yes, I would recommend a lot of praying, reading the Bible, and spending time with those who are where you want to be. God bless you in your journey!

featured on the Global University Blog at: http://www.harvest365online.org/2013/01/how-to-be-a-go-christian/

Holman QuickSource Guide to Christian Apologetics Chapter 1 - What is Apologetics?

For this series we will be looking at Holman QuickSource Guide to Christian Apologetics by Doug Powell. Each week we will examine a chapter of the book and look at what I have learned. My hope is that you will receive a little education and at the same time want to learn more. That thirst for knowledge will lead you to purchasing not only this book, but many more and through studying them and the Bible you will become an Apologist. That is my hope!

You may be wondering what is an Apologist. An apologist is one who delivers a defense. A Christian Apologist is one who delivers a defense of Christianity through Apologetics. What is Apologetics? That is the question of Chapter 1, which tackles that very question. 

Imagine you are in an emergency room seriously ill. The doctor says that unless you get the right antidote, it is always fatal. He than says that all who receive the antidote have a perfect recovery. Perhaps you do not like to take pills or get shots. Your preference is not relevant. The doctor is telling you that the sickness you have only has one remedy and only one way to administer said remedy. Your only choice is whether you live or die, based on your answer to the doctor.

Being misdiagnosed here is deadly. Getting the wrong medication is fatal. Not liking the treatment is not going to change anything. I had a colonoscopy because they I was having some internal issues. It was painful, inconvenient and quite offensive. That said, it was what I needed. Just because it was uncomfortable and drinking the stuff the day before was a huge inconvenience made it no less necessary. 

Christianity is an antidote if it is properly understood. It is not a life style choice or a religious view, but an antidote. It may be inconvenient, socially unacceptable, offensive and even painful at times. But above all if these, it is necessary. Whether you choose to believe it or not, the truth is the truth. You do not have to believe it to make it true. That is why we need to gain an understanding of the situation to understand the antidote's necessity. Doug says, "Jesus is not a cherry flavored cough syrup that works just as well as the lemon flavored Buddha. Belief in Jesus is an extremely invasive heart procedure that brings people to life. And it is the only procedure that will work."

As humans, we have trouble sometimes going to the emergency room. We may have misconceptions, barriers, biases, preconceived notions and objections. "It is the goal of Christian apologetics to remove the hindrances that stand between a person and the cross of Christ." Apologetics is seen by some as pre-evangelism preparing the soil for the gospel and others see it as deeply entwined with the gospel. Regardless of how it is seen, apologetics is a great way to equip the Christian with the tools to answer the tough questions about Christianity. Listed below are a few assumptions you can argue with apologetics:

1. Jesus never lived.
2. Miracles don't exist.
3. There is no proof Jesus was resurrected.
4. Why were books left out of the Bible?
5. Christianity is not reasonable.
6. All religions basically teach the same things.
7. If God is love how can He allow evil?

These are several of the myriad of assumptions and arguments that apologetics will equip you to answer. There are two things that need to be clear about apologetics. First, the goal is not to win at all costs. It is possible to win yet lose by behaving badly. We are to speak truth yet speak it with love. Second, the Holy Spirit saves people, not us. We are to bear witness. The Spirit can then use our witness to open the mind and heart of those who listen. 

To begin our apologetics training, we start by making no assumptions. We can't even talk about Christianity yet. We must first be able to PROVE the existence of God. If we can prove God exists, then we can begin to see which religion has the most accurate description of Him. That is where we will pick up next.  

Cursing is the Coolest!!

The Bible says that faith without works is dead (James 2:26). In Colossians 4:5 we are told to "be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity." So it is obvious that how we treat others and what we do are very important. I agree with this whole-heartedly. Yet there are many professing to be Christians who may have the works and actions, but the way they speak is horrible. Unlike some, God sees EVERYTHING you do and hears EVERYTHING you say!


Colossians 4:6 says, "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Colossians 3:8 says that we, "must put away obscene talk from your mouth." Matthew 15:10-11 says that it is not what goes in our mouths but what comes out that defiles us, Ephesians 5:4 tells us there is to be no filthiness or crude talking while James 3:10 tells us that blessing and cursing should not come from the same mouth because that defiles the person.

Jesus tells us in Matthew 12:36-37 that we will have to give account for every empty word we have spoken and that by our words we will be acquitted and by our words we will be condemned. It sounds like our words are of the utmost importance, yet I continue to hear sentences I should never hear.

"I got my (insert other word for butt) baptised on Sunday," "I love church. That (insert the S word for feces) is the bomb" and "I'm a GD Christian" are all sentences that I have heard in the last week at work. When the F-bomb and Christ are used in the same sentence by someone professing to be Christian..........Houston, we have a problem!

So what is the cure?

1. Pray for forgiveness of past cursing and that your words be anointed each and every day
2. Be vigilant of the music you listen to and the movies/television shows you watch
3. Take time to be in the company of people who build you up and are positive
4. Get an accountability partner and use their support to help you

Honestly, I wish that we would stop sounding and acting like the rest of the world. No offense to anyone, but why would they want to check us out if we are exactly the same as they are? There are several problems.

1. We don't spend daily time praying and reading the Bible.
2. We don't feel that what was said 2,000 years ago applies today.
3. We want so badly to be accepted and fit in with everyone else. Remember: IN IT NOT OF IT!

So how do we combat social norms? By not conforming to them, by being salt and light. We are not sent here to judge the world, but to build up our brothers and build up our own faith. Here is how I have done that:

I do not hate on people when they curse. After all, a lot of my clients speak like the F-bomb is the only word they know. I rarely mention it to my clients unless it is gratitious and we are in group, yet they have made changes in the way they speak. As they have seen that I do not curse I have gained their respect. They curse less around me and often apologize to me if they do. Never forget the impact we can have on those around us by not only our actions but also by our words!

The 5 Pillars

Today I would like to introduce you to the 5 Pillars. They are the 5 things that are of vital importance to us if we are to live our lives as Christians and continue to grow. As a recovery counselor, I use the 5 Pillars with all of my clients, whether they are struggling with eating disorders, drugs, alcohol, codependency, depression, grief and loss or just feel stagnant.

Church is not listed. That said, church is vital and needed. Most who profess to be Christians go to church. The 5 Pillars are what we need in order to gain a true relationship with Christ, to have a Christ-like walk. A pastor once said, "Sitting in church no more makes you a Christian than me standing in my garage makes me a car." Obviously, church is not enough. We need the 5 Pillare as these pillars allow us to continue the transformation that church starts but cannot complete.

The first pillar is the most important one of all, God. Without God in my life, how can I possibly have any hope? Changing my life takes both hope and faith. If this life and this world are all that there is, it can be a really depressing place. Thankfully, I know that there is so much more and that is what has given me the strength to go on no matter what happens today. I am eternally optimistic because I know that in the end I have an eternity with God promised to me.

Christ states that we are to love God with all of our hearts, minds, strength and (Luke 10:27, Matthew  22:37, Mark 12:30). Never forget that your relationship with God affects every aspect of your life. I know that if I put God first it makes me a better husband, father, employee, friend and even a better enemy. Never forget to pray for that relationship, "Today, make me like Christ. Please insure I live today less for me and more for You. Let me be your hands and feet to all those I come in contact with today. Please allow me to be salt and light to all those who see and hear me today."

The second pillar is a mentor. I need to have someone who is living their lives better than me, who is living their life as I want to live mine. They may be sober and I am trying to be sober. They may have lost a loved one as I have and worked through it. Maybe they just have the walk with Christ that I want to someday have. By letting them mentor and coach me, I can begin to improve the quality of my life and build a stronger faith.

Proverbs 11:14 tells us "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but where there is an abundance of counselors there is safety." That means that in order to succeed we need more than one mentor. I would suggest several. You may have one who counsels you with your marriage, another with emotional struggles and another who who is more Biblically knowledgeable than you. 

The third pillar is living Biblically. Through reading, meditating on what I have read and the guidance of my sponsor I will have the ability to learn the Bible better. What I get out of this is better ways to live my life. Read the gospels written by the disciples and the letters written by Paul. Immerse yourself in the book of James and use them as blue prints for how to live your life. If you can model your life on what James writes, you will be living amazingly.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, "All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." I have nothing to add to that, it speaks for itself!

The fourth pillar is small groups. These are places where we will further get our faith built. I can be in a group of people who have the same belief system and values that I have. We have common features. There are study, Bible, youth, single adult, couples, single mom, over 40, recovery and support groups to name a few.  We can use these groups as ways to continue coping with all that this world has to throw at us and continue growing spiritually, emotionally, scripturally and socially.

Church is about us listening and learning. We may be in a room with 50 people or 5,000 depending on the size of your church. Small groups put us in smaller groups where we can begin to build relationships with people. We can also ask questions and get answers in small groups. Hands on participation is much better at causing behaviors and attitudes to change than the lecture format found in church. Plus, you can blend in and hide in church. You can't in small groups.

The fifth pillar is accountability partners. These are the people we surround ourselves with on purpose. I may not be able to choose who I work or learn beside, but I can choose which table I sit at during lunch and who I hang out with after I get out of school and/or work. I need to surround myself with positive people who have goals and are actually doing positive things with their lives. Not that I am not there for those who are struggling, but I need people that can help me when I am struggling also.

If bad association spoils useful habits (1 Corinthians 15:33) than positive association should grow them. Ecclesiastes 4:9,12 says, "Two are better than one, though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Bottom line, there is strength in numbers and it is easier to make the right choice when you associate with people who make the right choice.

Prayer and meditation are kind of like church. I don't feel like I should have to tell you to do them, but I will. Prayer is a constant conversation with God. I start each morning with an hour at the gym. I lift weights for 30 minutes than do 30 minutes of cardio. I pray the entire time I do cardio, and that is why I start each day in a good mood. From there I continue to pray throughout the day. Most of my prayers are of gratitude for all that I have. Then I pray for those in need or who are having struggles. I also pray for understanding of the things I read, such as the Bible and other spiritual and apologetic texts.

In closing, here is the short cliff note version.

The 5 Pillars

1. God
2. Bible
3. Mentor
4. Small Groups
5. Accountability Partners.........and pray without ceasing all day every day!!!!!!!!!



What I Am Thankful For

I have seen a lot of people on Facebook, doing a daily list of the things they are thankful for this month. I am certain this is happening because this month contains Thanksgiving. Well, that and I have an almost Sherlock Holmes level of intuition. I have decided to do my list all at once and make it a post that everyone can read. If you have a list I would love for you to share it with me. I am also certain that I have forgotten a lot of thing, since I can only do one per day of the month.

1. God - For without Him we would not be here. To create all that we see and still have taken the time to ensure that the sun was the exact temperature it needed to be, the Earth was placed the perfect distance away from the sun, the moon was placed in orbit around Earth perfectly and that the atmosphere on Earth was exactly right to allow life to be supported is amazing. Then, out of all of the billions of people who have lived, He saw fit to create my mom and dad and then me is nothing short of miraculous. Finally, to use a police car and Brandon Heath's song, "I'm Not Who I Was" to lead me to sobriety. Wow! Thank you, God!
2. Jesus - For without the blood sacrifice made by Him, my life would be lived for naught. Through Jesus we have been forgiven for all of our sins. That He would be the sacrifice and suffer the ultimate death for them goes beyond words when trying to express my thanks!
3. Holy Spirit - Without it to guide and comfort me in times of stress, depression, anger, thoughts of relapse, etc, I do not know if I would still be clean and sober.
4. Grace - Unmerited favor...........basically, that which I do not deserve. God has somehow deemed me worthy of his blessing though I did nothing to receive it and could never do enough to earn it.
5. Prayer - Since I started doing a half hour of prayer two weeks ago I have had several people at work tell me that I seemed less stressed and anxious. It is amazing how beneficial prayer is to me, not to mention how it blesses all of the people I pray for!
6. The Bible - How amazing, to have a guide to life that is God-breathed and beneficial in all situations.
7. Paul - Paul was the person in the Bible that really resonated with me. He was the black sheep I could relate to, and his words have led me to have a stronger and stronger relationship with God and more and more confidence that I could turn my life around.
8. James - That James would write a short, perfect plan for how we are to live our lives is awesome!
9. Julie - My wife is such a boon to me. She has lived her life so well and I am so thankful that my children will have her to look up to and learn from. I look up to her and learn from her, and without her support I would be lost. Her mother and step-dad have been a huge help in watching Addison, too!
10. Michal - My sister has always been there to support me, and at times she even enabled me. That said, I know that she was the only person in my life other than my dad that always had hope I could quit my old lifestyle.
11. Dad - It has been a few years, and sometimes when I think of you it still makes me cry. Without your love and guidance, I would not be the father I am today. I will be forever blessed to have had you as my dad!
12. David Jr. - I never knew real love until I saw you. I never knew real pain until I had to look at you in an incubator after you were born. You have been and always will be my mini-me. I will be forever thankful if you learn from my mistakes instead of having to repeat them.
13. Addison Grace - You are the strongest little girl I know. To see you still smiling after going through two surgeries before you were two months old let me know how tenacious you were. I am so thankful that when you get older we will get to go on father/daughter dates and I can show you how a man treats a lady by my relationship with your mother.
14. Mom - You gave birth to me and always tried your best. I could not have made the change from Branson to Springfield if you had not opened your doors to me when I needed it most.
15. My Past - I am so thankful for my past. It has made me who I am and equipped me with the wisdom and strength to help me impart hope to those who struggle with life-consuming issues.
16. Recovery - It has allowed me to rebuild a life of substance on the same foundation a life of chaos once existed on. I have gone from a soldier for Satan to a diplomat for Christ, from dealing dope to dealing hope.
17. The Wessleys and Kearbeys - Without your love and non-judgemental attitudes, I never would have gone to church in the first place. I want to thank Nate and Becca for loving me to Christ and to Becca's mother for being a pit bull for God when we talked. What a beautiful family every one of the Wessleys and Kearbeys I have met has been.
18. New Life Church - If not for the Celebrate Recovery group, the tattoo wall, the casual dress, the awesome music, the great pastoral staff and the loving, nonjudgemental people who go there I would have been one and done with my church experience. Instead, I was met with love and compassion and I kept coming back.
19. Pastor James - If not for your taking the time out of your busy schedule to talk to me about all of my doubts and to use logic and history to make your point, I would never have gotten saved.
20. Pastor Dan - The knowledge that you impart every week to us in service is like mana for me. Not to mention meeting me for lunch and taking time to help me continue to grow in faith.
21. Brandon Heath - Your song I'm Not Who I Was is one of the major causes of me keeping the deal I made with God and transforming my life. Your song Love Never Fails was my wedding song. You have been instrumental in many of the best things that have ever happened to me and now I listen to you for 30 minutes every morning in the background as I pray. Thank you for the music you write and play.
22. Lee Strobel -  I am thankful for you because of your book, The Case For Christ. When I was having struggles with my faith it was your book that Pastor James gave me to read and it answered so many of my questions and doubts.
23. Friends - I may not feel like I have many, but I have a lot. I know that every time I am down or need to hear something there are always people in my life who are there to pick me up and tell me what I need to hear. I hope that my time to spend with you grows.
24. Worship - There is nothing that improves my mood more than worship music. Whether it is LeCrae when I need some beats, Brandon Heath when I pray or all of the people who are on my page Music of Recovery I thank you all because you have played such an imminent role in my recovery and growth as a Christian.
25. Celebrate Recovery - I am thankful that I found a group sans cussing, 13 stepping and filled with positive Christians. There are ups and downs, but the ups are more frequent and I have gotten so much out of the meetings. I truly found recovery in the CR groups
26. Narcotics Anonymous - It was great to go to these at the beginning. I became abstinent while I attended them, but relapses were always on my horizon. I have known many who have found what they needed but as my sobriety grew I moved on. I needed more Christ!
27. Better Life in Recovery - I could not be more blessed than to have an opportunity to share my testimony and other's testimonies in schools, colleges, communities, events and churches. I can only keep what I have by giving it away and there is no better service than sharing the dangers of addiction and the wonders of recovery with our children, young adults as well as their friends and families. 
28. My Readers and Listeners - I would not continue to write blogs, work on my book, do random vlogs and share my testimony if it was not for the encouragement I have received from all of you at one time or another. If you continue to read it, I will continue to write it. 
29. Alternative Opportunities Treatment Services at Carol Jones Recovery Center - It is a blessing to work at a place that cares about the people who are struggling the most in our community and reaches out to give them hope. I have amazingly compassionate coworkers who truly care about the clients we work with. My boss, Mary is one of the most loving, caring, big hearted, compassionate, driven and motivated Type A personalities I have ever met and working for her has taught me a lot.
30. The United States of America - I am so thankful that I live in a country that allows me to worship and speak as I want. I am allowed to bring Christ and recovery to the masses and never once have I worried about the government imprisoning or beating me for doing it. 
31. Heidi and James - I am thankful that I have a good relationship with my son's mom and her husband. It is such a blessing to my son to have his parents get along and be on the same page. I am just as thankful for Heidi's parents, Rick and Betty. Both of them and their spouses are great grandparents and it is so obvious how much they love DJ. 

So this Thanksgiving, I also look forward to reading your thanksgiving lists. It is always a joy to see people show that they appreciate the things they have. I will continue to be thankful for all that I have, and to begin and end every prayer with this, "God, please make me each day more like Jesus. Let me be your hands and feet to all those I come in contact with. Let me be salt and light to those around me, and use me as you see fit. 

Christians Are Not to Judge (NOT!!)

Do we judge other people? There are those who will quote scripture to chastise and judge those who judge others. Today we are going to look at one passage in the Bible to learn about whether or not we should judge others. The reason I am going to use this particular passage is because it contains the scripture that most often gets thrown in Christian's faces when we disagree with how others live.

The argument against judging others is that Jesus, in Matthew 7:1 clearly says, "Do not judge." They read that, and most stop right there. "See, your own Jesus says that you are not to judge me or anyone else," says the sinner. They use this as a way to say, "Christians don't even follow the malarkey that they believe." With that simple sentence, do not judge, many a Christian is shut down and left speechless.

Some will even use the entire first verse of Matthew chapter 7, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged." With that comment, anyone who suggests that someone is living a life that could lead them to hell is really saying that they too are going to hell. This makes complete sense, right?!?!?! After all, if a judge sentences someone to prison he is really sending himself to prison. Of course not. That would be ludicrous and devoid of logic.

If we look at this scripture, we should automatically realize that it is not to be taken in by itself only. If this scripture is read in to, I can walk away believing that I can do whatever I want and will never be judged. I can murder, lie, steal, cheat and there are no consequences for it as long as I don't judge other people. Wahoo!! There's no rules!!!

In Matthew 7:21 Jesus says, "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." How is that possible if all we have to do is not judge others and we will get into heaven? So what is God's will Jesus speaks of? Jesus said there are two commands we are to follow in Matthew 22:37-40. He says we are to love God with all of our heart, soul and mind as well as love our neighbor as we love ourselves.

Wait, there's two rules? How can this be, if we do not get judged as long as we don't judge others? What do you mean, we won't get into heaven if we don't do God's will. I thought I couldn't get judged?? Obviously, there is a disconnect here. It is because we have not taken in the entire passage. So, lets look at the passage and see what Jesus really says.

Matthew 7:2-5 says, "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured against you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

So, when Jesus says do not judge, what He really means is do not judge out of hypocrisy. It is like an alcoholic telling someone smoking marijuana or doing methamphetamine that they need to stop because its wrong what they are doing. When I was an addict, I would have people who were next to me smoking meth tell me that I was going to hell because I was not saved. "Get saved like me and you will go to heaven too," I was told on several occasions. THIS IS ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS I STAYED AN AGNOSTIC FOR AS LONG AS I DID!!!! Jesus is saying that we are not to judge other's sin when our sin is just as bad if not worse!

Parents, how can you tell your children not to smoke cigarettes or do drugs when you are doing them yourself? How can you tell them to not cuss when you curse yourself? When we parent with a "do as I say, not as I do" mentality we are doomed to fail. Get your life in order and begin living your life as we are commanded to.

When I am not living my life well, I am not in a position to help others. Judgement consists of two things. First we look at the actions and words of someone and discern how what they mean. Then we begin to instruct them on how to live their lives better. It is not hateful to judge someones actions and then assist them. If I see someone about to do something that would kill them and do nothing, that makes me a horrible person. If we see our brothers and sisters engaging in actions that will doom them for eternity and do nothing, we are sinning. Period!!

We should be instructing others in how to live the right way. This is done to all of us from the day we are born until the day we die. Our parents, teachers, local and federal laws all instruct us on how we should conduct ourselves. So, judgement and instruction is not bad................but it can be!

We are not to tear others down, just to build ourselves up. We don't belittle or nag others. We are not to instruct others to make ourselves feel better. We are not to instruct others and be hateful or judgmental in the process. Instead, we are to live our lives well and try to help those who are our brother's in Christ do the same! We are not instructing others out of hate, but out of love. We do not walk before our brothers, but instead walk beside them.

So who are we to judge? We are to instruct and help our brothers and sisters in Christ based on what God has said in the Bible. That at times means we need to make a judgement of someone based on their words or actions. By judging someones actions or words, we can then instruct them on how to live their lives by the Word of God. This is vital!

I know the American church does not need less internal judgement. THE AMERICAN CHURCH NEEDS MORE INTERNAL JUDGEMENT, AND LESS EXTERNAL CONDEMNATION!!! We are so busy picking the dust out of the eyes of the nonbeliever that we not only ignore the tree in our own eye. we also ignore all of the sin that is in the church. We are not called to stand in judgement of the world. God will do that. We are to help our brethren. Remember, iron sharpens iron.

So in closing, we are called to judge and instruct our Christian brothers and sisters from God's Word with discernment and love by first judging ourselves. Once we have gotten our lives in order with the two commandments we can then begin to help others. In all honesty, if you see your brother doing something that you know would lead to his death and said and did nothing you would be a horrible person! So, let us begin to rebuild the church and make it strong again by l

Back in the Swing of Things After a Relapse (Food, Drugs, Alcohol or Sin)

Here it is, Wednesday, and I am weighing in again. This Monday was the first week that I have really decided to get back on Weight Watchers since my cruise. I have tried several times and several ways to get back on track, but it has been difficult. I allowed myself to relapse on food during the cruise with a guarantee that I would go back on Weight Watchers when I got back home. I have not yet been able to get back on track. The more I looked at how difficult it was, the more I remembered how hard it was with my other addictions.

The funny thing is, this is only counting points. I am still allowed to eat unheatlhy on occasion, and yet I was still failing until this week. I did really well with it until the cruise, then I allowed myself to slip. Now I am reminded of the mantra repeated in group, "One is too many and a thousand is never enough." Once I opened the door to let bad eating habits in for a week, the door never closed.

Our lives are not only this way with food. Our lives are this way with alcohol, drugs, pornography, lying, cheating (tests or partners), stealing, gossiping, flirting, etc. If we give ourselves permission for a little, a lot can happen. We may justify it, but it does not change what it is. A relapse is a relapse, and it can quickly spiral out of control. No matter what we say about it, that is what it is. A white lie is still that, a lie! Flirting can get out of hand really quick, and innocent words can still destroy a relationship.

I am reminded of a quote from Romeo and Juliet, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." When Shakespeare said that he meant that no matter what you call something, it is still the same thing. Renaming a thing does not change what it really is. To cut down on confusion, I have a rule that changed my life you can apply here. I will share it in depth in the next week, but here is the gist of it. Ask yourself two questions before you do an action. If the answer to both is yes, then do it. If either of the answers is no, you do not do it.

Question 1 is this, "If my child (or significant other) and God were standing next to me, would I still do this?" If you answer yes, than you ask yourself this question, "Is this something that I would want my child (or significant other) to do. If that answer is also yes, then you can proceed. If either question is answered with a no, then you cannot do it. It is that simple, and yet it helped save my life.

So what door have you opened to sin, thinking that a cracked door will not harm you. "I am strong enough to do it only once." If you let yourself wander to one porn site on the computer, that is still cheating. You may not look at it that way, but the Bible does. Matthew 5:28 says, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Tell me that we do not look at porn sites, or flirt with anyone, without some form of lust. Gossip is the same way. 

In fact, any type of sin is that way. A sin is a sin, no matter what I call it. Just because I say it isn't water doesn't mean I won't get wet if I jump into it! Furthermore, it tends to hurt not only us but we also hurt others. We need to remember what was talked about last week in my blog on loving your neighbor as yourself. Treat others better than you would want them to treat your children. Would you want someone on a site ogling your son or daughter? No, then do not ogle someone else's son or daughter.

So, examine how we treat others and how we treat ourselves. Realize that there is no difference between our spiritual time and our secular time. If I would not do it or say it in church, I should not do it or say it outside of church. I'm not judging, I'm just saying. If only God can judge me, I can still judge myself too. I know right from wrong, and I need to examine all that I say and do so that I do not give the Devil a gateway into my life.

Once Satan (sin, alcohol, drugs, porn) gets into my life, he is difficult to get back out. If I give him just a little, he is sure to take a lot. Many of us who have relapsed have found out that it generally picks up worse than when we stopped using. We need to insure that we are doing all that we can to keep the door shut for good. If you look back to my posts entitled Iron Sharpens Iron you can see that even the places that we frequent and the company we keep can be open doors for our defects to take back over.

You always have a choice, but will you make the right one? Only you can answer that. I guarantee you that the Holy Spirit will guide you in the right direction (positive people, positive places, positive choices) if you allow it to!

It's the End of the World............Not

I am deeply disturbed. Apparently the rapture is tomorrow and I am going to have to miss it. Instead I am taking my son to Walt Disney World for his birthday, which takes precedence. So instead of the rapture, I have to instead be part of the 5 months of torment that Harold Camping has oh so prophetically foretold. I cannot even really be a part of the worldwide earthquake that he has predicted for tomorrow, as I have plans then too. I am bummed that I miss it, but that is life!

I remember the both the story of the boy who cried wolf and chicken little with his falling sky. When I think of them I am reminded of Harold. This is not the first time that he has predicted the rapture and the end of the world. The last time that he predicted the sky was falling was September 6th back in 1994. He turned out to be wrong. Maybe since I will be on vacation for this one I can catch the next one Harold predicts.

So what happens when you misinterpret the world's ending? Do you admit that maybe you were wrong and you do not know more than the angels in heaven or Jesus Himself? Not if you are Harold. He decided that he had done some faulty math, but is convinced that this time he is right.

The sad thing is that there are people who are getting caught up in his prophetic falsehoods. We are warned about this in Matthew 24:11, "and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people." It is said again in Matthew 24:25, "For false christs and false prophets will rise and show great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect." as well as in Luke 21: , "He replied: “Watch out that you are not deceived. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am he,’ and, ‘The time is near.’ Do not follow them."

Finally, in 1 Timothy 4:2-5 it says, "For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. But you be watchful in all things..." I don't know about you, but I feel that guys like Harold are predicted in the New Testament repeatedly. In an act of fairness, let us look at how he gets his dates?

Let us look at the Biblical insight that is used here. For starters, the date of the creation of the world as well as the flood is known by Harold based off of........conjecture and some faulty math? He has listed his method, but it would appear to be pretty faulty pencil whipping mixed with speculation that he calls Biblical truth, just like the last time. Take a number here and a number there, pull from the New Testament then the Old Testament until you get what you want. Pretty standard, really.

He then talks about the church age. Never read about a church age, yet Harold claims that it ended in 1988. He claims that the Spirit of God left the church in 1998 and that Satan has ruled the church ever since. Don't know about my church, maybe he means that his is ruled that way.

 So anyway, after the church age ended Harold claims that we began the first 23 years (???????) of the great tribulation. The first 2300 days of the great tribulation began and ended conveniently in 1994 (his first end of the world date). This we will call Great Tribulation I (GT I for short). Then GT II began, which ends in 2011. According to him, Judgement Day then comes on May 21st, 2011.

He says that the world will end 150 days after May 21st based off an irrelevant quote from Genesis about the flood. Yet in Revelation 11 it says that there will be 2 who will witness for 1,260 days and then will be killed and not buried for another 3 1/2 years. I have not heard of this happening in any great city as foretold in Revelations. Maybe God talked to Harold and told him not to worry about the prophets?? Harold takes parts of a whole and tries to mix and mash them where he wants them, omitting what does not fit when it does not agree with him and banging the pieces with his hammer until they fit if he wants them. This is faulty reasoning at best, and false teaching at its worst.

Just to clarify, I am in no way claiming to either be a historical or a Biblical scholar, nor do I claim to be a prophet. I'm just saying that much of the research that I have seen does not mesh with this guys claims last time or this time. I too used my hammer in kindergarden to make the pieces fit where I wanted them to. I can relate, but in this case I believe in the words of Christ and the apostles over Harold. Sorry Harold :(

Back to being serious for a minute. The clincher to his untruths is in the Bible itself. In Matthew 24:36 it says,“But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." 1 Thessalonians 5:3 says, "For you yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so comes as a thief in the night. For when they say, 'Peace and safety!' then sudden destruction comes upon them..."

It is reiterated in Matthew 24:42-44 ,“Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him."

According to the New Testament, we are to not know the time that the end will come because we should be ever vigilant. If we knew when the end was coming, some could rely on not serving God until the last days. By not knowing when the end comes, it will be easy to separate the faithful from the unfaithful and the just from the unjust. Do not be misled, live each day following the two truths that Christ laid out for us. Love God with all your heart, strength, mind and soul and love your neighbor. Talk to you all Sunday!!

Is Your Jesus Plastic

There is a question we must all ask about our faith. Do my works match my words? If they do not, where does that place us? In a world of watered-down Christianity, that says that sin is okay and we are going to do it anyway, does our personal theology match the theology written about in the Bible? If it does not, does it really matter? A lot of churches today say that it does not matter. The say that if we only do as much as we feel that we have to do, we will still be saved. Just give a little effort and everything will be fine. That is a pretty common message.

Titus 1:16 says, "They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good." Does this truly sound like we will be saved if we only are going through the motions. God knows hypocrisy, and you have to know it is not high on his list of character traits to have. 

Churches preach come as you are, and I fully believe that. But if you are truly saved and born again, don't expect to stay that way. God loves us, and at first expects us to stumble. He knows that we will have to take some spills before we learn to walk as a Christian. But He strives to make us perfect, if we allow Him to do His work.

George McDonald has a great way to look at our walk with God. He says that every father is pleased with the first time their child attempts to walk. I know I was, I actually got it on video. When he was in his infant stage that was amazing to me. But as he got older I expected him to walk. George McDonald says that when your child gets older, "what father would be satisfied with anything but the manly steps of a full grown son/"

Now what I am asking you today is how is your walk with God. To quote a t-shirt, will the preacher have to lie at your funeral. When you stand in front of God, how do you explain to Him that you were going to start living right tomorrow. Give me a break God, at least I tried. God is not satisfied with a little effort. He does not want some of us, He wants all of us.

Matthew 7:21-23 says, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’


If you know something is wrong and continue to give in to temptation, where does that leave you? According to the scripture above, even those who do right may be doing so falsely. The verses before this passage in Matthew state that you will know them by the fruits they produce, because a bad tree cannot produce good fruit. So our faith is displayed by our actions. 


James 2:26 says, "As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead." We might as well be dead if we do not try our best. Will we slip, yes. Will we occasionally stumble, probably. Will we continue to live our lives today as we did yesterday? Hopefully not! Jesus paid it all so that we could change it all. 


We are not who we used to be. Ephesians 4:22-24 says, "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

God wants us to back up our words. God looks at our lives, and He sees inside our hearts. How do we truly feel? That preacher might be able to lie at your funeral, but you can guarantee that you will not be able to lie to God. Don't talk about it, be about it!!