Documentary Update - Almost November

So, yesterday I went to my email and saw the most beautiful thing:

Hi David!

Congratulations! Your Pepsi Refresh Project idea Inform YOUTH of addiction's DANGER and recovery's POWER through FILM!! has been randomly selected for review out of all the submissions we received this month.

You’re one step closer to getting your idea out there! But before your idea can be posted for public voting, we need to review it to make sure it meets the Pepsi Refresh Project’s Official Application Guidelines. If it doesn’t meet all requirements, it won’t be posted. On the first day of next month, we’ll let you know if your idea has been approved and will be up for voting. After that, you would begin promoting your idea for a chance to receive a Pepsi Refresh Project Grant!

Thanks for participating in the Pepsi Refresh Project. Keep at it! It’s because of you, your votes and your participation that we’ve made a difference in refreshing the world.

 
Instead it will contain personal stories of those who have waged war with addictions, from drugs to alcohol to food, and came out victorious. It will not glorify or show pictures, but instead contain stories that will show the cost of addiction and how innocently it can start yet how horrific it can become. Since this is what it contains, it should be okayed for one of the projects that get voted on in November. 

I am so ready for the month of November. On November 1st the voting will start and by the end of November we need to be one of the top (I am shooting for top 5) vote getters in the $25,000 category. The top 15 get awarded the $25,000 grant that will enable them to begin their project. I would love to get this grant as it will enable this documentary to get shot and be available for us to begin showing it in schools, colleges, detention centers and other various community venues. 

Here is what I need from you:

1. Come November 1st be prepared to vote daily the entire month for this project 
2. Inform your friends and family so that they can vote also
3. Try to get the word out to your schools and colleges to your fellow students, professors and teachers(if you need flyers they will be posted the first day of November on http://www.betterlifeinrecovery.com/ [which will not be up for several weeks from today] once we are in for sure)
4. Talk to your college departments and see if you can post the flyers on the billboard and don't forget to share it with your professors and fellow students (see flyer information on 3)
5. Get the word out at your job to coworkers (at lunch, breaks, staffings, etc. see flyer information on 3)
6. Get the word out at your church (see flyer information on 3 and if you are in Southern Missouri we will talk to your church ourselves if you would like)
7. Get the word out to your youth group (see flyer information on 3 and if you are in Southern Missouri we will talk to your youth group ourselves if you would like)
8. Share it with your Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Celebrate Recovery, Living Free, Addicts Victorious, Alcoholics Victorious or other Recovery Group (see flyer information on 3 and if you are in Southern Missouri we will talk to your recovery group ourselves if you would like)
9. Get the word out to your small group (see flyer information on 3 and if you are in Southern Missouri we will talk to your church ourselves if you would like)
10. Put a copy of the flyer up in your break room at work
11. Talk about voting to your peers at school, whether you are in junior high, high school or college (this documentary is for you)
12. If you know a DJ, share the information with them to talk about on the radio and you can get them in contact with me if they would like to interview me on the air if in Southwest Missouri
13. Put the information up on your blog or share my blogs about the project on a daily basis
14. Put the information up on your Facebook, MySpace, or other social networks and tweet about it (Shoot, now I have to get a twitter account and I swore I would not do that)
15. Remind everyone you know daily by email, text, social network or tweet to vote daily the entire month of November!!!!
16. Do not forget that there is also a video that will be up on the site and is already under documentaries on this site that is a one minute synopsis of what we are doing and why it is both different and needed

Thank you very much for the buy in and help on this. It is and will be appreciated more than you will ever know. We will have a new site up just for this project in the next couple of weeks at http://www.betterlifeinrecovery.com/ that you will be able to visit. It will have the link to vote and the information on the 1st of November as well as the flyer you can put up and hand out as soon as we find out that we have been approved after the final review process. 

AGAIN, THANK YOU IN ADVANCE. I KNOW THAT WITH YOUR HELP WE CAN AND WILL COME OUT VICTORIOUS AND THROUGH THE SHOWING OF THIS VIDEO SO CAN MANY WHO ARE ALREADY USING AND THOSE WHO HAVE YET TO BEGIN!!!!!! If you have any questions or would be interested in either helping us or sharing your story, let me know!

I could not have been happier! This means that out of all the grant ideas that Pepsi received ours was one of the 1,500 that was randomly selected. It will now go through a final  review to insure that it does not go against any of the policies that they have for their grants. It cannot promote any particular religion, glorify drugs or alcohol, contain images of drugs or alcohol, promote a political party, contain nudity or profanity. There are also some other policies that they have to review also. Our documentary project, entitled "Better Life In Recovery" does none of that. 

What is Celebrate Recovery

I was going to do a review of the lessons in Celebrate Recovery, but I was told that it is copywrited up to and including their acrostics. So I will instead do a quick review of what Celebrate Recovery is and consists of so that people who read this can have an understanding of it. First we will look at how it is different from most of the 12 step programs out there.

For starters most Celebrate Recovery groups begin 30-60 minutes before the first group for food. It tends to be really good grub for cheap. Then big group begins. Big group lasts for an hour and consists of one of two things. Rotating weeks you will have a testimony from someone of the changes that have occured in their lives (where they were to where they are), the following week is a lesson on the 12 steps. Next is small groups for an hour. We will get what small groups are later. After small groups come coffee, dessert and good conversation. That is a typical night of CR, anywhere from 2-4 hours depending on what you attend.

The biggest thing to know is that Celebrate Recovery is for life's hurts, habits and hang-ups. It is not only for substance abuse.  Here is an incomplete listing of groups:

 Adult Children of the Addicted

Alcoholism

Anger

Brokenness

Codependency

Depression/Despair

Divorce

Eating Disorders

   Over Eating; Anorexia; Bulimia

Gambling

Guilt and Shame

Legal and Illegal Substance Abuse

Loss of a Loved One

Low Self Esteem

Love & Relationship Addiction

Need to Control

Overspending

Pornography

Resentment

Sexual Addiction

Sexual/Emotional/Physical Abuse

Workaholism

Another huge difference from most 12 step meetings is that Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered, Biblical scripture-based group. The focus is on God and what He can do in your life. All of the 12 steps have Bible scriptures to tie them more into the commands and promises of God. The principles are also scripture-based. It makes for a much deeper meeting than most that I have been to.

Celebrate Recovery big group begins and ends with worship music. The worship music is probably my favorite part of the group. I am a big fan of worship music. I feel that worship music gets us prepared for opening up to and allowing the Holy Spirit to work in us. Big group lessons have words that will help us in our recovering from whatever our hurt, habit or hang-up is. Each word is an acrostic for the steps to either achieve the word or overcome the word. The acrostic makes it easier to remember, which with my memory was a positive thing.

The small groups are split up by gender. Women and men both benefit from this. It is easier to share in a group full of people the same gender. It also allows for people to talk freely and not in front of their spouses/mates. There is more attention paid to the person speaking and not how they look. It also cuts down on people hitting on each other and more intimate things are shared this way. At least, from what I have seen and heard. I would feel a lot safer saying that I always let my partner use me and that I am highly codependent and like to focus all of my attention on my parter if I am in a group where there are not people that could be partners now knowing that about me and scheming on how they can use that tidbit of information to take advantage of me. Just saying.......

If there are enough attendees, the groups are split up by topic. You may have a substance abuse, depression, codependency, anger management, divorce/separation, grief/loss and financial groups that all meet in separate rooms. They are all gender specific. This is a great way to talk to others who are dealing with the same issues that you are so you know that you are not alone in your struggles.

We do not introduce ourselves as being addicts or alcoholics. Instead, people are encouraged to identify themselves by positives, such as being a grateful believer in Jesus Christ. I personally introduce myself as David, and then add that I have been blessed with many trials and tribulations in life that I have grown from. If you want to be successful, refer to yourself by positives not negatives. If you are in secular meetings, introduce yourself as sober or in recovery.

There is child care available at most Celebrate Recovery groups. The difference is that the people who are watching the children are generally background checked (at least if it occurs at a church they should be due to the church standards that exist). There are also several programs that are designed for children 5 and older that will give them things to discuss with their parents to help make that relationship stronger.

There are 5 basic rules to the small groups:

1. Your sharing is focused on your own thoughts and feelings and is limited to 3-5 minutes.
2. There is no cross talk. Cross talk is when two individuals engage in dialogue to the exclusion of others. Each person is free to express their own feelings without interruption.
3. We are here to support one another. We will not attempt to "fix" another.
4. Anonymity and confidentiality are essential requirements. What is shared in the group stays in the group.
5. Offensive language has no place in a Christ-centered group.

The sharing focused on you is a good thing. It makes us focus on us instead of allowing us to take the focus off of ourselves and put our focus on helping someone else. We need to work on us. I am perfectly shattered and I need to work on fixing me before I can truly help others. The best way for me to help them is to work on myself and getting a closer relationship with Christ. The not attempting to fix each other ties into that also. It is way easier to tell others what they should do. I would recommend that you instead think of what your advice to them would have been and how it applies to you.

There are a lot of secular groups that claim to be child friendly, yet you will hear the "F" bomb and other cuss words peppered into a lot of people's sentences. For starters, that kind of language has no part in true recovery. We should care about those around us and how our language could be found offensive to them.  Secondly, do you really want your children to hear that kind of language? I know that I don't. On occasion people may slip up, but it does not permeate the sharing like at other 12 step groups.

There are also people who are asked to leave. If you are trying to get dates, you should and will be asked to leave. If you come high or drunk, you will be asked to leave. You may be talked to in a 1:1 situation, but you will not be allowed to impact the group. These are the types of things that are done for the safety of the group. I actually have known women who have stopped going to secular meetings because they were constantly having people try to pick up on them. Not a conducive atmosphere for positive growth to occur. If that is how the people who have are sober are acting and/or allowing others to act(principles before personalities in most secular groups), I will go somewhere else.

I have made changes in the first 6 months of attending Celebrate Recovery that I did not make in 7 years of secular 12 step meetings. I needed to be able to talk about God. A "door knob" seemed like a very unrealistic higher power. I could kick a door off of it's hinges. I did not need little "hp" or little "g', I needed the big "G" God to make positive changes. Knowing the forgiveness of Christ allowed me to forgive myself, which I had never been able to do before.

It is also good to be around people who have never had drug and/or alcohol problems. You see that everyone struggles and you see that you are accepted and loved by people who are not addicts. For the longest time, I thought that I could only be friends with former addicts and criminals, but CR has shown me otherwise. It has put me around positive people who live their lives in ways that I want to live my life in. If you want to have positive growth, put yourself around people who are where you want to be. I do that at CR, and so can you.

I have a life now through Christ that I never had without him and I can finally look in the mirror and love the person staring back at me. I went from a drug addicted felon with no hope and no self esteem to a Christian who can attempt to give to others the grace and hope that was given to me. I can truly do all through him who strengthens me, and so can you. I would strongly encourage anyone considering Celebrate Recovery to look into it, and remember that it is a lifelong commitment. It worked for me and it will work for you. It is not a magical cure; it needs to be actively worked on a daily basis.

You see, I still get frustrated, still get sad, still feel guilty, still feel lonely and I do not always do the right thing, but I strive to be Christ-like and try to ensure that each day I live my life will be better than the day before it. I am no longer a hypocrite; I no longer hate or harbor resentments and anger. Instead I laugh, I cry, I love, I am quick to help and even quicker to forgive. What I once saw as weakness I now often see as strength. Some of those who were once my enemies have become my heroes. It is amazing how your outlook on life changes when you are in recovery.

If you have any questions/feedback, either add them as comments or e-mail me and I would be happy to answer them! If you need to find a CR group in your area, go to http://www.celebraterecovery.com/ and there is a group finder header that will allow you to look by state and city for active groups.

Scriptures of Recovery - Romans 7: 15

I have actually tried to quit using and living a life of debauchery several times. I had quit doing illegal drugs, but had fallen back on alcohol. Even though at one time I was determined to never drink or do drugs again, I was only partially successful. I engaged in a lot of conduct that I tried to stop doing, but I would always repeat it.

I swore to quit fighting and to quit drinking and driving. I would go so far as to give my keys to friends at the bar and tell them not to give them back to me, only to end up trying to fight them to get my keys back so that I could drive. I would black out with regularity and swear that I would never get "that" drunk again. I tried only drinking beer, only to get drunk and stop on the way home and buy a fifth.

I was not able to follow through on my best intentions. I would start with my best interest at heart, but would always fall short. I have done this my entire life. I would stop selling drugs, only to fall behind on bills and have to hustle to make the money. I would swear to not get serious in a relationship for a while, to take it slow. Then I would move her into my house after we had dated for a week..........or less than a week.

When I got off of drugs but continued drinking, I knew that I was not alone. But I did not feel like a "normal" person. I figured that only drug addicts and drunks had these problems. I thought that everyone else was able to follow through with their goals. I figured that most people, when they committed to something, accomplished it.

When I first went to church, Cal (New Life Churches pastor at the time) read from Romans 3. It interested me enough to continue reading. Imagine my delight when I got to Romans 7 and began to read about my plight. Here was a verse that described my life experiences.

Romans 7:15 says, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."

Wow, there I was in a nutshell. I want to do the right thing, but I was unable to. I wanted to set a good example for my son to follow, but I was better at setting goals than accomplishing them. It is kind of like when I play pool. I can call the greatest shots; bank this one in the side pocket, two rails off the 9, eight ball in the corner, etc. I can call them, but I sure cannot sink them. I called a great game, but I was unable to complete it.

I lived my life that way, too. Much better at telling you the positive things that I was going to do than actually doing them. My follow through was a mess, and I wondered why. In this passage Paul describes the mental struggle that I had with my life. "I do not understand" is exactly how I felt, and it was frustrating and anxiety inducing. When you want something that you know is achievable yet are unable to attain it, it can be overwhelming.

In verses 18-19 Paul continues to explain the struggle, "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing."

"Nothing good lives in me," he says. That means that sin lives inside of us. We have been born into a sinful world. As an addict, my first thought is wrong. In fact, my first 5 thoughts are wrong when I first got clean. I felt compelled to do the wrong thing, and I was fighting a losing battle! Why was I fighting a losing battle? Because sin dwelt inside of me, and all that I had to fight it off was myself. I could not win. What could I possibly do as an Agnostic to live my life differently?

I tried Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, substance abuse residential and then outpatient treatment, individual counseling and medication management through a psychiatrist. None of that worked. At the end of the day, I was still a convict and an addict. I could not forgive myself. I was unable to stop doing the wrong thing. So, what can we as humans born into sin do?

Romans 8:5 states, "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desire."

There it is, in simple to understand language. "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what nature desires." That is us following our carnal nature, the sin that resides in us. The Holy Spirit is able to set us free from our nature of sin. It can change first thought wrong into first thought right. I went from reveling in my sins and self-condemnation to living as a positive example overnight, just by accepting Christ into my life.

Since I prayed and accepted Christ, I have not drank, smoked, fought, had pre-marital sex and take no medication for my mental health. Instantly transformed.  I consider my transformation a miracle, and all the proof that I need that God does exist!



Romans 8:9 sums up how I feel today, "You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God live in you."

I still have desires on occasion. The difference is that when I have these desires, they come and then they go. They are fleeting at best, and I have a strong support system that I can use when they do occur. What is also different is that the obsession is gone. I do not think about drugs/sex/anger 24 hours a day and 7 days a week like I used to.

My thoughts of wrongdoing are now gone in the blink of an eye, and that is how I like it. I will get more into why those thoughts are fleeting and why it is understandable if the desire still pops up occasionally in the next Scripture of Recovery, which will be 2 Corinthians 12:7-10.

Scriptures of Recovery - Beginning of a New Blog

Welcome to scriptures of recovery. This is where I will look at the scriptures that were instrumental in my  overcoming my addiction through the help of the  Holy Spirit, kept me in church long enough for the Holy Spirit to work on me, allowed me to forgive myself or blessed me with a stronger relationship with God. I will not lie, I do not believe that Christianity is a religion. Not to quote a T-Shirt, but religion is one's search for a Higher Power, or man trying to work their way to God. Christianity is God coming to us through a relationship with Christ.

I have heard people say that they found Jesus, and I have heard others say that you cannot find Jesus. I would actually agree with the latter. I never found Jesus. He wasn't lost, I was! He came to were I was and gave me the power to overcome my past life and begin a new one. It was not religion that got me through my addiction. It was the Holy Spirit and Jesus coming to where I was at. Religion did not save me, Christ did! 

How do I know that God exists? All I have to do is examine my life before and after. If I were on a diet, I could look at the before and after pictures and tell whether or not it was successful. If there were things that I did other than exercise or eating better, such as methamphetamine or some other artificial way I would know because I would be ingesting it. I could also step on the scale, or I could use a tape measure to see how much my waist had shrunk. I could also tell if it was successful by how my clothes fit. These would all be valid ways for me to tell if it was working. So, how can we tell if the changes wrought in us are imagination or reality? How can we tell if it is worldly means or supernatural means that cause us to change?

So, why do I believe in the power of the Holy Spirit. How do I know that it worked:

1. I stopped taking my prescribed medications, stopped seeing counselors/psychiatrists, stopped going to secular 12 step meetings and stopped following secular methods of recovery. I turned to the spiritual and scriptural realms instead. I used prayer, meditation, reading and Celebrate Recovery. So it was not worldly means. I would know if I was ingesting some worldly intervention, and I was no longer doing that. I had given up hope of being successful by secular means.

2. The before and after picture of my life is night and day. I am not who I once was, and that has been said to me repeatedly by people who knew me before and after (think of the diet and everyone asking what you are doing to lose weight). I am now trusted to watch children, and to have keys to businesses that people own. I am asked for advice and taken into confidence, not called up to come and fight someone's battles. When clients cuss in front of me in groups, they do not apologize to the group. Instead, they apologize to me.

3. When I look at the people in my life, which I feel is a good measuring stick, I see major difference. I see people who put their kids and other's first. I see people that I can trust to watch my son, and not worry about him coming home and repeating the "F" bomb. There are no longer people who might get drunk or high around me or my son, not would their house get raided while I was there. Finally, I can turn my back and not worry about getting shot or robbed. So the tape measure definitely shows change.

4. I have tried to go to the places that I used to hang out at (think old clothes), but they just do not fit me anymore. I do not want to be around drunks, I cannot stand the smell of cigarettes and I feel out of place. I no longer fit into the old role. I am not the angry guy that fights at the drop of a hat. I am instead the peacemaker and the one in the advisor role.

So, those are just several of the ways that I can tell that something is different in my life. That something is me, not only my life but also the people in my life. Some of the people have stayed the same, but I do not let my circle of friends get stagnant. I tell people that you always need to have people in your life who are like how you want to be, not like how you are. If I want to get better at anything, I do that by playing against people who are better than I am. If I want to live a better life, I do that by having people in my life who are living better than I am. Due to this, I am always adding new friends.

So, part of my relationship with God has came through my reading of scripture and what those scriptures have meant to me. Scriptures of recovery will contain scriptures that helped give me hope and/or faith. A reading that revealed to me God's ability to forgive or showed me His mercy. I would often feel unworthy of God's forgiveness, or truly helpless/powerless, or unable to fit in at church and out of place due to my past. Sometimes I would simply come up with excuses because I was afraid of opening myself up just to be rejected or let down. The scriptures that helped me overcome all of this and build a relationship with God through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit will be listed. Why they helped and what they made me realize will also be included.

I hope that the little bit of insight that I have into these particular verses will be able to help you the reader either come into relationship with Christ, overcome your addictions/hurts/excuses or build a stronger relationship. Thanks for reading, and the next Scriptures of Recovery will actually contain a scripture!

Celebrate Recovery Lesson 2 - POWERLESS

Lesson 2 - POWERLESS

Principle 1: Realize I'm not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.

"Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor." Matthew 5:3

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.

"I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." (Romans 7:18)

When we accept the first recovery principle and take that first step out of our denial and into reality, we there are very few things that we really have control over. Once we admit that by ourselves we are powerless we can stop living with the following serenity robbers, the bandits that steal away our faith and hope, spelled out in the following acrostic:

P ride
O nly ifs
W orry
E scape
R esentment
L oneliness
E mptiness
S elfishness
S eparation

PRIDE – Ignorance + pride + power = a deadly mixture
Proverbs 29: 23 - "Pride ends in a fall, while humility brings honor."

List some of the ways that your pride has stopped you from asking for and getting the help you need to overcome your hurts, hang-ups, and habits.
I'm supposed to have it together. I'm the one that my friends and family come to when they need encouragement and advice.  I am a counselor, I should not have any problems. I have this under control, I can do this my way. My way is the last addiction, holding onto the locus of control. Pride forgets God, or feels our plans for our lives are better. Want to make God laugh, tell him your  plans for your future.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:9)

ONLY IFS - keep us trapped in a fantasyland of rationalization
Luke 12: 2, 3 - "Whatever is covered up will be uncovered, and every secret will be made known. So then, whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in broad daylight."

What in your past has caused you to have the "if onlys"?  Ex.:"If only" I had stopped ______years ago.  "If only" ______________ hadn't left me.

If only I wasn’t a felon, if only I wasn’t an addict, if only I had a job, if only I, if only I, If I only had a brain! In this program we start testimonies with I am a grateful believer in JC who struggles with __________. I do not struggle with ______, instead I have been blessed with many trials and tribulations that have strengthened me and my relationship with my higher power.

WORRYING – a from of not trusting god enough

Matthew 6:34 - "Don't be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time."
What is worry? It is defined as, "to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret. To torment with cares, anxieties, etc.

Instead of worrying about things that we cannot control, we need to focus on what God can do in our lives.  What are you worrying about?  Why?
If I worry, that simply means that I am not trusting God enough. If I truly believe in God, than I know one thing - God's got this! If you have trouble, try this short little prayer:

So, Lord - I give these worries to you.  Lord forgive me for worrying - I know your word says to not be anxious for anything - Lord help me to trust you more!

ESCAPE –a world of fantasy and unrealistic expectations of us and others
Ephesians 5: 13, 14 - "For the light is capable of showing up everything for what it really is. It is possible for the light to turn the thing it shines upon into light also."

In what ways have you tried to escape your past pain?  Be specific.

I have tried to dull the pain with excess foods, drugs, alcohol, relationships, shopping, violence and sex. I have learned to recognize the pain now for what it is and am able to work through it with the Lord's help.  It's a vicious cycle - life's stress and regrets can make me feel hopeless and then I use, and that makes me feel even more hopeless so I use again - You can only imagine how glad to be off of that merry-go-round I am. I'm no longer hiding from these things and have searched myself and realized that my not trusting the Lord is sin, and that the act of addiction is sin, and not exercising and treating my body as God's temple is sin - so I've repented from these things - I still fail, but I'm recognizing it quicker and getting back on track.

RESENTMENTS – an emotional cancer if allowed to fester and grow
Ephesians 4: 26-27 - "In your anger do not sin ... do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."

How has holding on to your anger and your resentments affect you?

It's made me sick.  Holding onto these things and stuffing down the feelings with addiction, has kept me from growing up and growing in the Lord. This has been a process of uncovering things I was holding on to and had to really internalize that if God loved me so much, enough to send his son to die for me - and has forgiven me - then I needed to let go and "accept" his forgiveness and trust in his forgiveness.

LONELINESS – In recovery and in Christ, we never have to walk alone
Hebrews 13: 1, 2 - "Continue to love each other with true brotherly love. Don't forget to be kind to strangers, fos some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it."

Do you believe that loneliness is a choice?  Why or why not?  How has your denial isolated you from your important relationships?

Yes, loneliness isdefinitely a choice. It may be subconscious at times, but it is a choice.  I can remember feeling so lonely in my house of five.  I became so self centered that I could not think about anyone else, but myself.  Again, this has a been a process to overcome the detachment, isolation and self-centeredness - I still battle the negative thinking that no-one wants me around and such - but I've learned to tell myself otherwise - learning scripture has helped keep me grounded. Learning who I am in Christ and then realizing that others are thinking and feeling the same way that I am- helps me to focus on them and share God's love with them - and realize that even if no one is around, the Lord is always there.  If I can't get others focused - I can almost always get Christ focused!

EMPTINESS
John 10:10 - "My purpose is to give life in all its fullness."

Describe the emptiness you feel and some new ways you are finding to fill it?

I used to feel empty. I felt that I had no purpose, that I was nothing, no good, a junkie and a convict. When I woke up in the morning as an Agnostic, I knew that right there was probably the best that I would feel all day, maybe the rest of my life. That kind of not having anything to look forward to was depressing. I have found contentment and joy in the Bible. God's word fills me with his promises and hope for tomorrow and I've gotten a lot of joy sharing that same love and joy with others to help make their lives full!

SELFISHNESS – we often pray, our father who art in heaven, gimme gimme
Luke 17:33 - "Whoever clings to his life shall lose it, and whoever loses his life shall save it."
What does it mean to be selfish? It is defined as, "devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others. Characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself."

Selfishness is at the heart of most problems between people.  In what areas of your life have you been selfish?    
Facebook and video games began to be an issue. I would come home and pour myself into the computer, playing games and facebooking with the stress of my job as my excuse to ignore my family and play games to escape. Then I realized how much that was hurting my wife and my son. In the past I would see people that gave and gave of themselves and I admired it, but I had never really seen that in my own life. I had never even considered doing that in my own life. I had never jumped wholely into anything.  I have began to give of myself instead of only taking. I still need to give more of myself at work, more of myself to my son, more of myself to my fiancé, and more of myself to Christ. But I have started, and that is better than it was!  

SEPARATION – some talk of finding God, as if he could ever get lost
Romans 8: 38, 39 - "For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from His love. Death can't and life can't. The angels won't and all the powers of hell itslef cannot keep God's love away ... Nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when He died for us."

Separation from God can feel very real but it is never permanent.  What can you do to get closer to God?

I know all it takes is for one or two mornings to wake up a little late and then boom - I'm off on my own again. I need to remember to start my day with God, and that if He is needed He is never more than a knee away when I pray. I make my days wrong, I have the first thought wrong syndrome. With Christ guiding me I now have first thought right!  

FOUR ACTIONS from Principle 1

1.) STOP DENYING THE PAIN. You are ready to take your first step in recovery since you have identified that your pain is greater than your fear. 

Psalm 6: 2, 3 - "Pity me, O Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, for my body is sick, and I am upset and disturbed. My mind is filled with apprehension and with gloom."

2.) STOP PLAYING GOD. You are unable to do for yourself what you need God to do for you.  You are either going to serve God or yourself.  you can't serve both. 

Matthew 6: 24 - "No one can be a slave to two masters: he will hate one and love the other; he will be loyal to one and despise the other."

3.) START ADMITTING OUR POWERLESSNESS. As you work the first principle, you are  seeing that by yourself you do not have the power to change your hurts, hang-ups, and habits

Matthew 19:26 - "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

4.) START ADMITTING THAT OUR LIVES HAVE BECOME UNMANAGEABLE. You can and have admitted that some/all areas of your life are out of your control to change.

Psalm 40:12 - "Problems far too big for me to solve are piled higher than my head. Meanwhile my sins, too many to count, have all caught up with me and I am ashamed to look up."

Living Free - And so it begins.....

Hello my name is Scott and I’m a …….. 

You see, this is the paramount difference between Living Free and many other programs that are available for people with Life Consuming Issues ( LCI ).  I have come to believe that I have been transformed and can not be defined by a label.  The reason this is possible? I have been healed by the amazing love and power of Jesus! Sounds cheesy, right? Inside church settings and programs the terms we throw around  lose translation to the rest of the world, especially the secular world.  I really can’t speak for you, a group of people, or anyone in generalizations. I can only speak for me. 

I have been changed by the power of God and now I have the Awesome opportunity to help other people. Not because I have the answers, but because I know who does. I serve only as a simple sign pointing upwards that says, “ hope and healing is possible and available. All you have to do is ask!” 

I have been asked to speak weekly via this blog regarding the beginning of a program my wife and I serve as coordinators for in our church called Living Free.  I admit very candidly that I have never participated in a blog but I am a man who will be honest and open as I proceed with this task.  If it somehow helps someone or serves to point them to a new beginning of hope, it is worth it. 

The journey began January 20^th with the first open facilitator training at our church for Living Free and culminated with the graduation of my team of facilitators. June 21^st we began and I am pleased to report a positive start: 17 adults, 10 children, 8 facilitators and 6 children’s workers.  That results in a total of 41 people involved in Living Free at our church for the first night.  Wow, to God be all the Glory and praise.  This result is right at ½ of what had pre-registered, but I know the best is yet to come.  We are not discouraged. This is amazing!

 

As I close this first Blog let me just say to you what my team has been saying for months

“God’s Got this”

Blessings,

Scott