Out of the Ashes

Today, I woke up and played with my daughter. I chased her around the house, listening to her peals of laughter ringing out as she shrieked with joy. As I walked out of the house I heard the body of 10 year old Hailey Owens had been found and there was a man being charged with first degree murder.  I was instantly overwhelmed with anger and rage. I felt the person I used to be rising up inside of me. I was lost, hurt, enraged and confused all at once.

I was lost because I cannot comprehend how someone could take the life of an innocent 10 year old. The evilness of this act is beyond my scope of understanding. What could possess a 45 year old to take the life of a child? It is an unfathomable act, and one that I can honestly say I am glad I cannot understand for if I could what would that say about me? I cannot fathom the act.

I was hurt because I knew there were parents who loved Hailey that will never get to hear her laughter again. My heart aches because I can not even begin to imagine the depths of the parent’s sorrow. I am emotionally broken because I know the impact a loss like this can have on Hailey’s friends and family and would never wish that upon anyone. No one should have to lose a loved one who is so young in such a malicious way.

I was enraged because I am a father, and as a father I know that there is no justice that will suffice. Nothing that happens to Hailey’s murderer will bring her back. Even the justice that is done will be long and drawn out. Someone will represent this man and try to defend what he did. The parent’s will have to hear testimony and see pictures that no parent should ever have to endure.

I am confused because I believe in a God who loves us all and wants what is best for us. Because of that such a heinous act being allowable bewilders me. At first I could not for the life of me make any sense of how God could allow such a tragedy to play out. Then I remembered a few things. For starters, we have freewill. Do we have a God that loves us all? He loved us enough to give us freedom to make our own choices. Freewill is both our greatest gift and greatest curse. Do we have a God that loves us so much He gave us the ability to control our actions? Yes, he did but not all of us chose to use that control.

Today and everyday we have the power to make choices. We can follow the Golden Rule laid forth by Jesus in the New Testament, or we can act on our own selfish interests. We can listen to what the Holy Spirit whispers in our ear, or we can listen to Satan. The choice is ultimately ours to make. I used to listen to the voice that encouraged me to do wrong. Today, I choose to try to live my life by loving my neighbor. That said, the old me resurfaced today after a long hiatus. I did not feel very friendly and loving. I wanted to come out of retirement.

I stopped because I realized that would solve nothing. It would not be good for me, my family or the family who has lost their daughter. I have done psychological first aid after disasters and I am trained in grief and loss counseling. You give support. You let people know that it is okay to feel how they feel. Their feelings are valid and understandable. You make sure that their basic needs are being met and allow them to grieve. You do not get caught up in the emotions of the event because of the negative impact that can have on those who are mourning and grieving.  

I did give into those emotions for a minute. I allowed myself the luxury of grieving for Hailey, her family and her friends. I cried for a little girl I had never met while I sat in my car. Then I prayed for Hailey’s family and friends to find comfort and strength. Next I went to work and helped other people deal with their own stress, depression and tragedy while my head still swam with unanswered questions.

Will our questions about why this was done ever be answered satisfactorily? I hope not, because there is no excuse or reason that can explain what happened. Will justice be done? No, unless the act itself can be undone. There is no amount of pain this murderer experiences that can quench the pain her parents are experiencing. I have my trust in a much Higher Power that has seen me through so much. I have seen a lot of positives come out of tragedies, but it is far too early for that now.

Instead, I ask that we keep hate and anger to a minimum. It may make you feel better but it does nothing to change what happened or help anyone. It increases the negative impact of an already terrible event. We need to come together and support those who are hurting today in our community. Shower them with prayers, positive thoughts, love and compassion. Today you need to hug and squeeze on your loved ones today. Cherish the people you have in your life today, and action can come tomorrow.

Next we need to identify how to make the system more efficient so time between 911 calls and Amber alerts becomes minimal. Search for ways our community can learn from this tragedy so it is safer for our children and the chance of this happening in the future is reduced. Together we can make our community stronger and safer for those who are most vulnerable and honor the memory of Hailey Owens.

The Platinum Rule

Most of us know the Golden Rule, or ethic of reciprocity, "Do unto others as you would have them do to you." That was a quote attributed to Jesus in the New Testament. That sounds great, doesn't it? It sounds so good that you can find it in just about any other religion as well:

• Judaism, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
• Confucianism, "Try your best to treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself." 
• Hinduism, "One should not behave towards others in a way which is disagreeable to oneself." 
• Islam, "Not one of you is a believer until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." 
• Jainism, "A man should wander about treating all creatures as he himself would be treated." 
• Buddhism, "Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find harmful."

I have heard this saying multiple times throughout my life. I seldom saw it applied so I never really took the time to think it out. It did not register with me because I knew no one would want to be treated as I thought I should be. As a child who was physically and sexually abused as a child, I always felt less then. I expected to be treated poorly and looked down on by people. I thought that was my penance for the sexual abuse I had undergone. I was dirty and disgusting and I deserved to be whatever I got because of it. I never once doubted the beatings I underwent were not deserved. I thought that I deserved to be hurt. I was an outcast.

As I grew up, I became very angry and violent. The saying I heard was, "Do unto others as they would do unto you, but be first." That became my motto. In my addiction, my anger and self-loathing grew. I could only find happiness in chaos and that was fleeting at best. I wanted to die, and tried to put myself in countless situations were that would happen. In fact, I tried to kill myself once and almost succeeded. I wanted people to hurt me. I wanted someone to kill me. So at this point, I am sure you can see how the Golden Rule would have not been very Golden of me to follow.

As I got sober, I still believed that I deserved to hurt. I felt that I deserved pain for all of the people I had hurt. After all, there was a massive trail of broken lives in the wake of the tornado my addiction had created. I was actually going to see a dominatrix when I first sobered up. Then the Golden Rule was reintroduced to me by my sponsor. I still had trouble understanding it.

Next he introduced me to the Silver Rule, thinking I could understand that better. The Silver Rule posits, "One shouldn't treat others in a way they would not like to be treated." This still did not work due to my low self-esteem and disappointment in myself. I knew that I deserved all the bad I had gotten in my life and a lot more. When bad things happened, I chalked them up to karma and me reaping what I had sowed.

As I stepped into recovery, that just did not work for me. I had to become more positive, and making amends as I worked through the steps helped me, but I needed more. What I discovered was, as much as I disliked myself I loved my sister. At the time she was the person I loved the most. I did not ever want to see someone mistreat her. Even in my addiction, I always had her back. This is where I came up with the Platinum Rule:

TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO TREAT THE PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT MOST

That was all it took to get me to understand the Golden Rule and apply it to my life in early recovery. When I had my son, he was added as a person I care about the most. Then I got married and my wife was added to the list, then my daughter was added after her birth. That expanded my list and made most situations I would find myself in very easy to come up with the right answer to. How did I apply the Platinum Rule? Here are a few examples:

1. Would I want someone to gossip about my sister and spread rumors about her? NO! I would want them to come to her with their problem so that it could be worked out. Therefore, I try not gossip about other people behind their backs and come to them when I have problems. 
2. Would I want someone to beat up my son because they were told that he wronged them? NO! I would want them to be handle the situation like adults instead of hotheaded children. So when I hear someone wrongs me, instead of hurting them as I did in the past I try to talk to them and find out the truth of what is going on. 
3. Would I want someone to yell at my wife if they had a problem with her? NO! I would want them to treat her with respect. So I don't yell at people when I have a problem with them, instead I calmly talk to them so we can squash the issue. 
4. Would I want someone to break into my daughter's house and steal from her? NO! By process of elimination I do not steal from other people. 

As you can see, the Platinum Rule works for just about any situation that you find yourself in. This rule has made a ton of difference in my recovery. When used properly it takes you a minute before you act. Trust me, for a lot of us that is not a bad thing. I was very impulsive in my past, and I seldom made the wisest choices when I jumped right into things. In fact, 99.9% of the time I made the absolute worst decision. That all has changed due to me changing my thought process. Now I ask myself, "Is this how I would want someone to treat my son, my daughter, my sister, my wife?" If it isn't, then I have no business treating them that way.

As usual, thanks for reading! I hope that this is something that you can apply to your life. Let me know if it helps!!

As a quick disclaimer, this is not the Platinum Rule that is trademarked. That Platinum Rule says that we are to, "Treat others the way they want to be treated." That is a horrible rule, in my opinion. I work with a lot of people who struggle with addictions and mental illnesses. Take me for example. If you were to have treated me how I wanted to be treated 10 years ago, you would have shot me in the head and put me out of my misery. That, or you would have got me high. Bad idea, in my opinion! I definitely don't want the Platinum Rule I discuss confused with that one!
 

You Never Have to Use Again

I was new to the program, or newish. I had one stint of being sober. I had stayed clean for a couple of months after a residential treatment I did, but it had not taken. Looking back, I was not ready at the time. I did not have the commitment, mostly due to a confusion where I thought that my wants were actually needs. That in turn led me to craving money, which led me back to manufacturing and distributing methamphetamine. That was the only way I knew to make the money I felt I needed at the time.

Once I started selling again, I felt the need to use again. Once I used again, it was all over. I found out that my addiction did not take a couple of months off when I did. I realized quickly that although I had not been feeding my addiction, it had still grown. My addiction no longer needed my help. It was in the back of my head doing its’ thing: lifting weights, running on a treadmill and on a computer doing research.

My addiction got stronger and smarter during my time away. When I came back, the lie told me I could sell it and not use it. That quickly morphed into being able to try it just to see if it was good quality. A bump led to a bubble led to using intravenously all in the same day. It had told me lies that were almost believable. I wanted them to be true, so I ran with them.

That 13 month relapse was above and beyond the previous 16 years. In the first 16 years, I had to get my stomach pumped due to alcohol poisoning. In the next 13 months I overdosed 3 separate times. I was left for dead in a motel room, found not breathing at my house and flopped at a friend’s house and used enough that I went blind and went into seizures. Before that I had never done more than overamped. To top it all off in the week before I went to a meetingI had been at a drug deal gone bad where I had shot someone (I found out later he lived) after one of my partner’s buddies had gotten shot in the leg.

That period, a year and a month of my life, was above and beyond anything I had previously experienced. How quickly it devolved is what led me to leaving everything behind I owned and knew. I left the town I was living in and showed up at my mom’s house with nothing but a duffel bag full of clothes. I was done, and material things had lost all interest. After all, it was only stuff and none of that could replace my life if I lost it in my addiction. I figured that was next. Even if I were a cat, I was about out of lives. That is what brought me to my first meeting in Springfield.

I walked into that meeting with my friend Jay the day I moved to Springfield. I had one of Jay’s friends tell me something I had never heard before. He asked how much time I had clean, and I told him that I had less than 24 hours. He then said, “At an NA meeting with less than a day clean. That is a great start. You are at a meeting where other people who are fighting the same fight can share their strength, experience and hope with you. If you listen to them and apply what you hear here to your life, YOU NEVER HAVE TO USE AGAIN. This is an easy program that we make more difficult than it is, but the truth is YOU NEVER HAVE TO USE AGAIN.”

This is one of the most encouraging pairing of words I had ever heard, “You never have to use again.” I heard it twice in one breath at my first meeting in Springfield. I would like to tell you that the previous 13 month relapse had been my rock bottom. I would love to share with you that I had an epiphany and never used again after being told that I didn’t have to. Unfortunately, if I told you that I would be lying.

I was off of drugs for quite some time after that, but I began drinking. That drinking intensified over the next couple of years to the point that I was having an after party at my house most every night. It slowed down after I had my son, but quickly escalated after my father committed suicide.

I am a knuckle head. I seem to always have to learn things for myself. I guess I still needed to learn one more thing the hard way. I did 150 meetings in the first 90 days and then 2-5 meetings a week for the following six months and this was read from the readingHow It Works at every meeting I attended during that time:

 “Thinking of alcohol as different from other drugs has caused a great many addicts to relapse.                    Before we came to NA, many of us viewed alcohol separately, but we cannot afford to be

confused about this. Alcohol is a drug. We are people with the disease of addiction who must        abstain from all drugs in order to recover.”

I will talk more about the damaging effects of alcohol in a future blog entitled “Alcohol is a Drug, Period.”  Today, if you are struggling with addiction I just want you to know one thing, YOU NEVER HAVE TO USE AGAIN!That said, you will want to make this much harder than it really is. Here are the five pillars you must have to stay clean and sober as well as the two things you must change:

1.       Higher Power/Jesus – I know that the politically correct thing to say here is the non-specific higher power. That said, I tried the non-specific HP as an agnostic and I was back to using again.  It did not work for me. I prayed to Christ once, and since that day I have not: used drugs, drank alcohol, smoked a cigarette, had premarital sex or gotten into a fight outside of a ring in almost 5 years. I was hopeless and a higher power did nothing to instill hope in me. I found hope in Christ that not only could this life be better but there is so much more than just this life. I have something to look forward to in Christ that I did not have in my agnosticism.

2.       The Bible/12 Steps– Some may substitute the 12 steps here, and I have seen them be very effective when working with hurts, habits and hang-ups. For me, the book of James has been amazing. It is short and filled with all of the wisdom one needs to live a great life. I combine the Bible with the 12 steps through both my personal life as well as Celebrate Recovery (which I will cover in #5). Don’t just know it, but actually apply it to your life.

3.       Sponsor/Mentor – Find someone living the life you want who has overcame the struggles you are having. Have them show you how to accomplish your goals and attain your dreams. If you are going through the 12 steps, you want them to have worked the 12 steps. If you are using the Bible find someone well versed in it.

4.       Accountability Partner – I have a couple of friends that I have given permission to call me out if they see me having problems. It might be my attitude, depression, not going to groups or missing church. I also have a friend that has also struggled with addictions and found victory through Christ that I meet weekly for coffee. We share struggles, successes and give each other support and feedback. 

5.       Meetings - Narcotic’s Anonymous, Alcoholic’s Anonymous, Celebrate Recovery, Living Free, etc. This is a place where I hear people who are currently struggling and others who have found recovery. I am reminded of how strong addictions are, how much they can impact your life and that recovery is possible by both the newcomer and the old timer. Here is one of the best places to obtain hope that recovery is possible. Without hope recovery is impossible. I find more positivity and hope in one night of Celebrate Recovery than I did in 7 nights of the other recovery programs. That said, I still attend other recovery meetings because sometimes I feel the need for one when there is no CR available.

6.       Change your playmates– When I was an addict and a criminal, I hung out with addicts and criminals. When I was an alcoholic I hung out with binge drinkers and alcoholics. Like minded people hang out with like minded people. If you want to have a career and be financially stable hang out with people who have careers and financial stability. If you want to be in recovery hang out with people who are in recovery. Birds of a feather flock together and your friends will get you jacked up before you get them on the straight and narrow.

7.       Change your playgrounds – I went from hanging out in bars and clubs to working out and going to coffee houses and meetings. I found that being in bars, clubs and at the homes of people who partied was not conducive to my staying clean and sober. Adding new uncomfortable things to your life will help you make positive changes. Comfortable is what got many of us here. We need to switch it up and the best way is by filling our lives with new positive hobbies: working out, meetings, small groups, hiking, sports, community service, etc.
8.        Community Service - There is nothing that gives people hope and purpose more than rejoining with their communities and actively becoming part of them again. Working side by side with people who have not lived their lives the same way I lived mine yet they work next to me as together we make our communities stronger.

This is the short list of things to do. I will include this as well as many others in the book I am writing that I hope will be published by the end of next year entitled Spiritual Spackle: From Dealing Dope to Dealing Hope. It is a look at my addiction, from early childhood abuse to adult criminality and the things I learned from it all that have led me to a life filled with hope in recovery. For now, apply what is lined out above and I can promise that you will never have to use again! After all, there is a Better Life in Recovery!!

Quality not Quantity

I am seeing a growing trend. There are bigger and bigger churches springing up all around the area I live in. Some of them look to be the size of NCAA Division I football stadiums or concert arenas. Some of them are spread out over many acres and would make a junior college campus envious. They are packing the seats inside of those churches, too.

As big as they are, they continue to open up other “campuses.” That tends to be their term for the new churches they open up, not mine. When you look up campus you will see definitions ranging from “grounds of a college, university or institution of higher learning” as well as “a large landscaped business or industrial site.”

Next we will look at the church service itself. I have seen multiple churches promoting their services as a “60 minute experience.” Come visit us and listen to a great message. There are also the buzz phrases: “seeker friendly,” “seeker sensitive” and “culturally relevant.”  Then there is the promise of being comfortable and having fun. There sure is a lot of things going on at these places. Let’s look at that next.

There are the electric guitars, strobe lights and fog machines during worship music (which sometimes includes secular songs that don’t tie into the sermon at all). There are the subjects discussed, as well. Let us talk about pop psychology and media 101 in our church “experience.” We can talk about the latest books, movies and popular music during your 60 minute stay so that you feel comfortable, safe and informed.

Great advertising, good marketing and top notch entertainment provided in a minimal amount of time. Sounds like an amazing place. I can see why they are packing them in. Who wouldn’t want to go there? It sounds simply amazing, especially to someone from “old” churches that could go for 2 hours and sang boring hymns and had choirs. Who wants that? Not the average, unchurched person of today. In fact, not that many of the churched, either based on attendances.  

After all, the new church is just being Biblical. That is why Jesus then Paul packed them in to hear them speak. They had the harps and horns rocking, and when people came to hear them it was for only 30-60 minutes so that they could go about the rest of their day and not be inconvenienced. They even talked about entertainment, often referring to archery and wrestling contests as well as the latest games held in the coliseum.  

Okay, maybe not. I am confused by some of the wording. For starters, why is it called a campus? The argument could be made that it is because it is an institution of learning. On the opposite side, the argument could also be made that it is because it is a business per the definition of the word. After all, businesses tend to have cool logos and catchy slogans. They also use buzz words to attract people to their place of business. It is all about the marketing.

Calling service a 60 minute experience is wrong on many levels. For starters, how do you actually know how long the sermon will be? What if the Holy Spirit leads you to preach longer” What if the worship leader is compelled to play longer? What if prayer takes 15 minutes instead of 60 seconds? We are putting the Holy Spirit in a box. “Well, the Spirit knows how long it has to work on people,” is the answer. After all, that is Biblical????

Next, we look at seeker friendly, seeker sensitive and culturally relevant. We are non-confrontational as we slide in beside people and tell them what they want to hear. After all, the message in the New Testament was never about judgment, in your face instruction or discipline.  “We are not to judge. If you don’t believe me read Matthew 5:1,” said no one who has read the Bible EVER! We are no longer Christian soldiers engaged in warfare with this world, but Earthly hipsters’ intent on making sure everyone likes and accepts us!

We need to keep up with the trends. After all, we are part of this world too, right. How can I possibly share the hope of salvation and the impact of Christ’s grace if I don’t know how to relate it to people in a funny, engaging way by talking about a movie they have seen, a book they read or a song they listen to on the radio? Plus, how can I possibly get people to visit my church if it is not loud, short and exciting.

We need to dress down, so that the people coming in can feel better and more comfortable. It sends the message that we are no different from them. Also, remember to keep the “message” superficial and positive. There is no need to go on and on about this being a sin-filled, fallen world. After all, we are part of this world and that would send the wrong message. We are not separate, we are just like the rest of the world and that is why they will come here.

Now I ask you, what is the problem with the above scenarios? There are many who attend these churches that have great Biblical knowledge and live amazing Christ-like lives and it puzzles me. I would like to know why you are drawn to these churches. I personally and Biblically see major issues with these churches. Here are some of them:

1.       The message appears to be determined more by the world than the Word

2.       They try too hard to fit in with this world, becoming of it more than just in it

3.       People who are  hopeless are looking for something different, not what they already know

4.       Change does not happen when you are comfortable. It happens when you are uncomfortable

5.       There is a focus on the unchurched, not the unsaved. There is a big difference in those 2 words

6.       Churchgoers are being entertained instead of equipped to share the Gospel with all they come in contact with

7.       There is a focus on attendance instead of discipleship

8.       The Holy Spirit has been given time constraints

9.       It can be highly uncomfortable to be a Christian, and people are misled into thinking otherwise. Jesus said that they would hate us as they hated Him and that we are to daily pick up our cross and follow Him. He told the prostitute to go and sin no more. Those do not sound like very seeker sensitive messages.

10.   People are not being taught to stop sinning. We can no longer continue doing the things that we know are wrong. You cannot put new wine (a Christian lifestyle) into an old wine skin (your previous secular life)and expect to begin living Christ-like.

I am not judging, I am instead fruit-inspecting. When the fruit is not ripe, there are problems with the tree. When someone says it is an apple tree and all you see are oranges hanging from it, you know there is something not right. When I ask someone what they like the most about their church and they say the music or how laid back it is, that worries me. When I hear no mention of the Holy Spirit moving or the presence of God being felt, I get a little scared. When they don’t speak about how it made them feel uncomfortable and see that there needed to be big changes made in their lives, I get worried.

The seeker friendly church may be a good place for those who are not Christians, but I am not sure that it is a good place to go other than the first time or two.  After that, you need to grow and I am not sure that real growth is encouraged in church service. Instead, you are tasked to go to small groups for that. Small groups are an awesome thing, but church is where your coach should be using the playbook and teaching you how to win the game. Translation, this is where your pastor uses the Bible and teaches you how to live Christ-like.

In closing, don’t judge the validity of a church by the attendance. After all, rock bands sell out 50,000 seat arenas every day. People love to be entertained. They don’t like to be called out, though. That is why just because a church has 1,000 or 20,000 members does not mean that it is better than the church of 50. In fact, it may be worse.

To Judge or Not to Judge, that is the Question

Matthew 7:1-5 reads, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

I have heard many a person say that we are not to judge. They always use the first part of verse one when they say it. In my experience it is generally quoted by Christians that have sinned and are being ministered to. It is also used by non-Christians who take issue with Christians who evangelize. Finally, it is used an excuse by Christians so they do not have to minister and instruct others. When these instances occur, Matthew 7:1 is frequently quoted.

Honestly, I would say that Matthew 7:1 is one of the most quoted verses. It is also one of the least understood and frequently taken out of context scriptures in the Bible. People say that Matthew 7:1 tells us not to judge. They are correct, kind of. Matthew 7:1 does say, “Do not judge” but it doesn’t stop there. That said, what if it did. What if we never judged?

Imagine your life if you never judged.  You would always take the first job you were offered. You would never know who to vote for, because you would not be able to discern between candidates. You would not care about the neighborhood you lived in or the school your children attended. You would not care who worked on your car or even who watched your children. Based on just these few examples, it is obviously vital that we judge.

In fact, verse 5 says that we need to be able to see clearly so that we can remove the speck from our brother’s eye. So, what does it mean not to judge. First, we add the rest of the verse, “or you too will be judged.” This means that we need to be cautious about judging others, because we too will someday be judged by God. Here are wrong ways and reasons to judge others:

1.      To avoid looking at their own sin

2.      To minimize their own sin

3.      To look down on people

4.      To condemn people

5.      Mindreading – This is where people judge someone’s motives or heart, which they cannot know, instead of judging their conduct.

Those are wrong reasons to judge others. They are probably the most common reasons and ways that people judge others. There are also proper reasons to judge. That is what we will look at next. These are some of the reasons that we should judge:

1.      To know right from wrong – 1 Corinthians 2:15 says, “The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things.” If we are to be Christ-like, we must insure that our actions and words speak to that. By discerning what is right from what is wrong we are able to better live our lives as Christ lived His.

2.      Discipleship - Whether it is as a mentor, a parent or a friend we are to lead people in the right direction. Imagine a parent who did not judge their children’s actions and the company they kept. That would be an epic parenting fail! We lead by example and then build up those around us. Never forget, iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17).

3.      To build up those around us – In Matthew 7:5 it says that we need to see to remove the speck from our brother’s eye. 2 Timothy 3:16 says that scripture is beneficial for, “teaching, rebuking, correcting and training.” We are told to help those around us using Scripture as our guide

4.      To make ourselves better Christians – 1 Corinthians 11:30-31 says, “That is why many among you are weak and sick, and a number of you have fallen asleep. But if we were more discerning with regard to ourselves, we would not come under such judgment.” We fall victim to the sin prevalent in this world because we are afraid to judge ourselves and what we do.

So in closing, before we judge make sure that we are in line with living our lives as Christ lived his. When dealing with others, do not do so with condemnation but with love. Most importantly, clean your own house before you attempt to help someone else clean theirs. If you are still living in sin, do not come to someone else and point out their faults. That is how we alienate people, because no one likes a hypocrite.

Judging is done to build someone up, not to tear someone down. The people we build up are the same ones that will call us out and help build us up. We do not judge on our opinions, but from the words of Jesus Christ in a loving and reasoning manner. So, before you come to someone in need have your own house in order (or at least be working on getting it in order), insure the problem is Biblical in nature, pray for guidance then use tact and love when you speak to them.

Holy Spirit

 Today I was thinking about the Holy Spirit. I have noticed the huge impact the Holy Spirit has had in my life, and I cannot help but think on it all the time. But today, I was thinking of how blessed we are in this day and age. When Jesus was here, He walked with the disciples. Can you believe actually getting to walk next to Jesus?

Some friends of mine visited the places Jesus walked when the disciples were with Him, and they always talk about how life-changing that experience was.

That sounds amazing—walking beside Jesus. Yet I would argue we now have something even more powerful than Christ walking beside us. Something that is more life-changing than walking the same paths Christ walked, and we do not have to go anywhere to experience it. I am talking about the Holy Spirit and the amazing power we are blessed with. It came when Christ left the earth and has been here ever since.

Jesus told the disciples He had to leave so the Holy Spirit could come:

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.” (John 14:16–17, emphasis mine)

This means the Holy Spirit does not just walk beside us in our lives, as Jesus did with the disciples, but lives inside us. The Holy Spirit permeates our body and will guide us in all we do, and He can give us the power to do all God has planned for us in our lives.

Would you be a better basketball player if Michael Jordan coached you, or if he took over your body and played through you? The latter, of course. The same is true with the Holy Spirit. Jesus walked beside and coached, but the Holy Spirit lives inside us and guides!

Jesus speaks highly of the Holy Spirit. In John 16:7–8, He says,

“But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Comforter will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. When he comes he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment.” (emphasis mine)

 I would say we can make absolutely no excuses when it comes to sin for one reason: Jesus took our ability to make excuses away from us. In John 14:26, He says,

“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything that I have said to you.” (emphasis mine)

 We are not only taught by the words of Christ and His disciples, but we also have the Holy Spirit inside us to remind us of what is right. The Holy Spirit is like a moral compass. We will know right from wrong, and we will know our sin is sin before we do it. Christ does not give us a way out. Will we all sin? Of course we will; sadly it is in our nature. But the Holy Spirit will guide us away from doing wrong and toward doing right!

published by Global University on their blog at: http://www.harvest365online.org/2013/04/holy-spirit/

I Killed Jesus

Today I am writing to you about a T-Shirt that I own. I get more looks when I wear this shirt than any other. Today, I had about half a dozen people comment on it and at least 50 people read it then glare at me as they walked past. The problem is they see "I Killed Jesus" written in white and can't read the rest written in gray. This shirt, made by Not of This World (NOTW), is an amazing conversation starter. More than that, it is a statement of truth.

The shirt actually reads, "I killed Jesus & Jesus died to save me ...Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners of whom I am the worst. 1 Tim 1:15" This is one of my favorite versus, written by one of my favorite authors. It is written by Paul, who had something in common with Prince as they were both formerly known as something. Paul was the Christian formerly known as Saul. He had once been the scourge of Christians. He hunted them down, persecuting and killing them for their believes. He was bad news.

Then something happened. You can read about the road to Damascus in Acts Chapter 9. He goes from following Judaism and hunting down Chrsitians as Saul of Tarsus in the first couple of verses to his conversion to Christianity then full circle to a conspiracy by the Jews to kill him. He accepted Christ and traveled all over the country, going from city to city proselytizing. What a change the Holy Spirit makes!

Every time someone comments on the shirt, it tends to go like this. Someone says,"So you killed Jesus, huh?" To  which I reply, "Yes I did. Jesus died to forgive us of our sins and I am a sinner. So are you. If not for our sins Christ would never have had to die. He died because of us." To which most walk off after saying something monumentally profound, such as "Well that makes sense."

The truth is Christ's crucifixion is the greatest thing that ever happened to man, and yet the worst thing man has ever done. It is the definition of the Taoist Yin Yang, an equality of good and evil. Christ died so that our sins could be forgiven, a one time sacrifice that changed the outcome of our lives. That death gave us grace, unmerited favor for while we were still sinners Christ died for us. Yet killing the only perfect person who had ever lived, the son of God and son of man.......that is a pretty bad deal on our part.

Yes, Christ died willingly. Yes, it was actually the Romans that killed Him based on the request of the Jews. But He came here to die for a reason. He came here to die for our sins. If we do not sin, He never has to be the sacrificial lamb who was slaughtered. Since He died for our sins, by proxy we killed Him.

So did I kill Jesus? Yes, we all did. Romans 3:23 tells us that, "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Not just me, not just you but everybody! He died for us all, so that we could one day know eternal life. Now I want to give you something to think on. This is food for thought for today, and I want you to really think about it today as you chew on it. I know that it really struck me today when I thought about it.

When Christ died, it was to not only redeem us but to remove us from the bondage of sin. When we come to Christ, we are healed. Sin is a sickness, and the wage of sin is death (Romans 6:23). With his own life Christ paid that debt for us. BUT every time we sin we drive another nail into Jesus. We kill Jesus over and over again every day. When is enough enough?

So I only have one question for you today: Hasn't Jesus suffered enough?

Holman QuickSource Guide to Christian Apologetics Chapter 1 - What is Apologetics?

For this series we will be looking at Holman QuickSource Guide to Christian Apologetics by Doug Powell. Each week we will examine a chapter of the book and look at what I have learned. My hope is that you will receive a little education and at the same time want to learn more. That thirst for knowledge will lead you to purchasing not only this book, but many more and through studying them and the Bible you will become an Apologist. That is my hope!

You may be wondering what is an Apologist. An apologist is one who delivers a defense. A Christian Apologist is one who delivers a defense of Christianity through Apologetics. What is Apologetics? That is the question of Chapter 1, which tackles that very question. 

Imagine you are in an emergency room seriously ill. The doctor says that unless you get the right antidote, it is always fatal. He than says that all who receive the antidote have a perfect recovery. Perhaps you do not like to take pills or get shots. Your preference is not relevant. The doctor is telling you that the sickness you have only has one remedy and only one way to administer said remedy. Your only choice is whether you live or die, based on your answer to the doctor.

Being misdiagnosed here is deadly. Getting the wrong medication is fatal. Not liking the treatment is not going to change anything. I had a colonoscopy because they I was having some internal issues. It was painful, inconvenient and quite offensive. That said, it was what I needed. Just because it was uncomfortable and drinking the stuff the day before was a huge inconvenience made it no less necessary. 

Christianity is an antidote if it is properly understood. It is not a life style choice or a religious view, but an antidote. It may be inconvenient, socially unacceptable, offensive and even painful at times. But above all if these, it is necessary. Whether you choose to believe it or not, the truth is the truth. You do not have to believe it to make it true. That is why we need to gain an understanding of the situation to understand the antidote's necessity. Doug says, "Jesus is not a cherry flavored cough syrup that works just as well as the lemon flavored Buddha. Belief in Jesus is an extremely invasive heart procedure that brings people to life. And it is the only procedure that will work."

As humans, we have trouble sometimes going to the emergency room. We may have misconceptions, barriers, biases, preconceived notions and objections. "It is the goal of Christian apologetics to remove the hindrances that stand between a person and the cross of Christ." Apologetics is seen by some as pre-evangelism preparing the soil for the gospel and others see it as deeply entwined with the gospel. Regardless of how it is seen, apologetics is a great way to equip the Christian with the tools to answer the tough questions about Christianity. Listed below are a few assumptions you can argue with apologetics:

1. Jesus never lived.
2. Miracles don't exist.
3. There is no proof Jesus was resurrected.
4. Why were books left out of the Bible?
5. Christianity is not reasonable.
6. All religions basically teach the same things.
7. If God is love how can He allow evil?

These are several of the myriad of assumptions and arguments that apologetics will equip you to answer. There are two things that need to be clear about apologetics. First, the goal is not to win at all costs. It is possible to win yet lose by behaving badly. We are to speak truth yet speak it with love. Second, the Holy Spirit saves people, not us. We are to bear witness. The Spirit can then use our witness to open the mind and heart of those who listen. 

To begin our apologetics training, we start by making no assumptions. We can't even talk about Christianity yet. We must first be able to PROVE the existence of God. If we can prove God exists, then we can begin to see which religion has the most accurate description of Him. That is where we will pick up next.  

What I Am Thankful For

I have seen a lot of people on Facebook, doing a daily list of the things they are thankful for this month. I am certain this is happening because this month contains Thanksgiving. Well, that and I have an almost Sherlock Holmes level of intuition. I have decided to do my list all at once and make it a post that everyone can read. If you have a list I would love for you to share it with me. I am also certain that I have forgotten a lot of thing, since I can only do one per day of the month.

1. God - For without Him we would not be here. To create all that we see and still have taken the time to ensure that the sun was the exact temperature it needed to be, the Earth was placed the perfect distance away from the sun, the moon was placed in orbit around Earth perfectly and that the atmosphere on Earth was exactly right to allow life to be supported is amazing. Then, out of all of the billions of people who have lived, He saw fit to create my mom and dad and then me is nothing short of miraculous. Finally, to use a police car and Brandon Heath's song, "I'm Not Who I Was" to lead me to sobriety. Wow! Thank you, God!
2. Jesus - For without the blood sacrifice made by Him, my life would be lived for naught. Through Jesus we have been forgiven for all of our sins. That He would be the sacrifice and suffer the ultimate death for them goes beyond words when trying to express my thanks!
3. Holy Spirit - Without it to guide and comfort me in times of stress, depression, anger, thoughts of relapse, etc, I do not know if I would still be clean and sober.
4. Grace - Unmerited favor...........basically, that which I do not deserve. God has somehow deemed me worthy of his blessing though I did nothing to receive it and could never do enough to earn it.
5. Prayer - Since I started doing a half hour of prayer two weeks ago I have had several people at work tell me that I seemed less stressed and anxious. It is amazing how beneficial prayer is to me, not to mention how it blesses all of the people I pray for!
6. The Bible - How amazing, to have a guide to life that is God-breathed and beneficial in all situations.
7. Paul - Paul was the person in the Bible that really resonated with me. He was the black sheep I could relate to, and his words have led me to have a stronger and stronger relationship with God and more and more confidence that I could turn my life around.
8. James - That James would write a short, perfect plan for how we are to live our lives is awesome!
9. Julie - My wife is such a boon to me. She has lived her life so well and I am so thankful that my children will have her to look up to and learn from. I look up to her and learn from her, and without her support I would be lost. Her mother and step-dad have been a huge help in watching Addison, too!
10. Michal - My sister has always been there to support me, and at times she even enabled me. That said, I know that she was the only person in my life other than my dad that always had hope I could quit my old lifestyle.
11. Dad - It has been a few years, and sometimes when I think of you it still makes me cry. Without your love and guidance, I would not be the father I am today. I will be forever blessed to have had you as my dad!
12. David Jr. - I never knew real love until I saw you. I never knew real pain until I had to look at you in an incubator after you were born. You have been and always will be my mini-me. I will be forever thankful if you learn from my mistakes instead of having to repeat them.
13. Addison Grace - You are the strongest little girl I know. To see you still smiling after going through two surgeries before you were two months old let me know how tenacious you were. I am so thankful that when you get older we will get to go on father/daughter dates and I can show you how a man treats a lady by my relationship with your mother.
14. Mom - You gave birth to me and always tried your best. I could not have made the change from Branson to Springfield if you had not opened your doors to me when I needed it most.
15. My Past - I am so thankful for my past. It has made me who I am and equipped me with the wisdom and strength to help me impart hope to those who struggle with life-consuming issues.
16. Recovery - It has allowed me to rebuild a life of substance on the same foundation a life of chaos once existed on. I have gone from a soldier for Satan to a diplomat for Christ, from dealing dope to dealing hope.
17. The Wessleys and Kearbeys - Without your love and non-judgemental attitudes, I never would have gone to church in the first place. I want to thank Nate and Becca for loving me to Christ and to Becca's mother for being a pit bull for God when we talked. What a beautiful family every one of the Wessleys and Kearbeys I have met has been.
18. New Life Church - If not for the Celebrate Recovery group, the tattoo wall, the casual dress, the awesome music, the great pastoral staff and the loving, nonjudgemental people who go there I would have been one and done with my church experience. Instead, I was met with love and compassion and I kept coming back.
19. Pastor James - If not for your taking the time out of your busy schedule to talk to me about all of my doubts and to use logic and history to make your point, I would never have gotten saved.
20. Pastor Dan - The knowledge that you impart every week to us in service is like mana for me. Not to mention meeting me for lunch and taking time to help me continue to grow in faith.
21. Brandon Heath - Your song I'm Not Who I Was is one of the major causes of me keeping the deal I made with God and transforming my life. Your song Love Never Fails was my wedding song. You have been instrumental in many of the best things that have ever happened to me and now I listen to you for 30 minutes every morning in the background as I pray. Thank you for the music you write and play.
22. Lee Strobel -  I am thankful for you because of your book, The Case For Christ. When I was having struggles with my faith it was your book that Pastor James gave me to read and it answered so many of my questions and doubts.
23. Friends - I may not feel like I have many, but I have a lot. I know that every time I am down or need to hear something there are always people in my life who are there to pick me up and tell me what I need to hear. I hope that my time to spend with you grows.
24. Worship - There is nothing that improves my mood more than worship music. Whether it is LeCrae when I need some beats, Brandon Heath when I pray or all of the people who are on my page Music of Recovery I thank you all because you have played such an imminent role in my recovery and growth as a Christian.
25. Celebrate Recovery - I am thankful that I found a group sans cussing, 13 stepping and filled with positive Christians. There are ups and downs, but the ups are more frequent and I have gotten so much out of the meetings. I truly found recovery in the CR groups
26. Narcotics Anonymous - It was great to go to these at the beginning. I became abstinent while I attended them, but relapses were always on my horizon. I have known many who have found what they needed but as my sobriety grew I moved on. I needed more Christ!
27. Better Life in Recovery - I could not be more blessed than to have an opportunity to share my testimony and other's testimonies in schools, colleges, communities, events and churches. I can only keep what I have by giving it away and there is no better service than sharing the dangers of addiction and the wonders of recovery with our children, young adults as well as their friends and families. 
28. My Readers and Listeners - I would not continue to write blogs, work on my book, do random vlogs and share my testimony if it was not for the encouragement I have received from all of you at one time or another. If you continue to read it, I will continue to write it. 
29. Alternative Opportunities Treatment Services at Carol Jones Recovery Center - It is a blessing to work at a place that cares about the people who are struggling the most in our community and reaches out to give them hope. I have amazingly compassionate coworkers who truly care about the clients we work with. My boss, Mary is one of the most loving, caring, big hearted, compassionate, driven and motivated Type A personalities I have ever met and working for her has taught me a lot.
30. The United States of America - I am so thankful that I live in a country that allows me to worship and speak as I want. I am allowed to bring Christ and recovery to the masses and never once have I worried about the government imprisoning or beating me for doing it. 
31. Heidi and James - I am thankful that I have a good relationship with my son's mom and her husband. It is such a blessing to my son to have his parents get along and be on the same page. I am just as thankful for Heidi's parents, Rick and Betty. Both of them and their spouses are great grandparents and it is so obvious how much they love DJ. 

So this Thanksgiving, I also look forward to reading your thanksgiving lists. It is always a joy to see people show that they appreciate the things they have. I will continue to be thankful for all that I have, and to begin and end every prayer with this, "God, please make me each day more like Jesus. Let me be your hands and feet to all those I come in contact with. Let me be salt and light to those around me, and use me as you see fit. 

Church in Under 60 Minutes or Your Money Back

I had put up something on Facebook about the Chicago Bears squeaking out a win. A friend commented that it was "almost embarrassing." I told her that I would take embarrassed with a win. I thought about Woody Harrelson's character in White Men Can't Jump when he talks about some people who would rather look good and lose than look bad and win. This reminded me of the world we live in today and how I am supposed to live my life. I should not live to look good and win the approval of those around me. Why don't we want their approval?

We are told that the world would hate us. In John 15:18-21 Jesus says to His disciples, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also.

That said, I don't think that we should be after the hate of the world. We are not going out of our way to make the world hate us. That said, wrong is wrong and we are to call those things out when they are IN THE CHURCH. We are not to go around judging those who are outside of the church. Instead, we are to be salt and light. That means we are to stand out and be different from those around us because we are called to a higher purpose.

We are called to act like Jesus. We are called to follow the commands of the Bible. We are to love God and to love our neighbors. Does that mean we will not talk to our neighbors about Christ and our faith? Absolutely not! In fact, we are called to talk to them about Christ and what He has called us to do as Christians. That does not mean we stand in judgement. Instead, we lead by example and inform/teach. I plant the seed, that is it. Only God can make it grow.

Now, back to the movie quote. Would you rather look good and lose, or look bad and win? When it comes to this world, if they cannot accept the way I live my life and the calling I follow than I would rather look bad to them. I don't have to fit in. In fact, I don't want to. Don't forget, the stakes are high. Winners get eternal life. To do that, we need to not follow the ways of the world. We need to look different, because once we accept Christ we are different.

So, how different from the secular world is today's church in America? I am sure that back in the early days of Christianity, church only lasted 45 minutes. There were 2-4 worship songs, a 15-20 minute sermon than two more worship songs. It was probablya  rush to get out the door and leave on your camel first to beat traffic. In fact, I bet that at least one if not two of those songs were not worship songs at all. I bet a couple of the songs they played in the early church were secular songs that were popular at the time so that more of the non-Christians would check the church out. Right?????

The church today is trying so hard to look like and not offend the secular world that we are looking more and more like the world outside of the church. We play secular songs that don't even tie in to the message. We have short sermons and short meeting times. We try not to offend any of the people who come to our church. Why? Because that is the popular thing to do. Because if we don't, then we might have some people who are unhappy stop coming to our church. They will go somewhere else and find a feel good, secular music playing, God loves you as you are why should you change hour or less church were they get dessert but no main course.

I say let them go. Why do we care so much what everybody thinks about us. It is sad that the churches today seem to be on a time schedule. What if the Spirit guides the pastor to talk for longer? Then we lose part of the sermon or we end the service with no last worship music. How is that spiritually nourishing? What happened to the church we have today?

We have traded in a sit down dining establishment for a fast food restaurant. We get nothing substantial or healthy. Instead, we get dessert and junk. Just like our physical bodies, our spiritual bodies are obese and out of shape. We are there to worship and let the Holy Spirit work on us and guide us. Who are we to put time constraints on the Holy Spirit? How dare us! I know that I am used to the short and sweet services because that is all that I know. But I am not always satisfied with them.

 I yearn for more! My spiritual batteries get depleted, and my spirit starves for more sometimes. I pray for 20-30 minutes in the morning. I break open my Bible several times a day. I write on the things that I read and learn. I share them with my wife and sometimes my coworkers. I have Jesus frequently in my daily life. That said, I want more!!

I have gone to multiple different churches in the same day, or gone to all of the services in one day to hear the differences in the sermons and see how they spoke to me. All I listen to is worship music. I meet with a weekly men's group. There is something about corporate worship I can't get anywhere else. The church is a locker room, and I need to get that play book down. I need more!

Now, don't get me wrong. There is great secular music out there, but not to be playing from speakers in your parking lot. There is also amazing worship music. I don't believe, as one of my wife's professors did, that drums are tools of the devil. I love contemporary Christian music as well as the old hymns. I love to sing out loud and express my adoration for Christ. Nothing primes my spirit to hear and apply a sermon more than great worship music. How can secular music possibly prime me to receive the message? It can't, period!

I have a novel idea. How about the churches with several services have the last one be a longer service. Let there be more worship and a longer message. That way the people who only care about the fluff, whose lives are so busy they can only take an hour or two (the extra hour is for that one small group they attend) out of their busy weeks, can have their sermon. They can get the fast food version. Those who want to spend more time in worship and listening to the word get to hear it, too. Those who hunger get fed and the truly thirsty get their thirst quenched! How amazing would that be?

Stop Pimping Jesus Out

I am going to start this off with an instance in particular that I see as condescending and sad. It is when someone on Facebook does what I consider to be pimping out Jesus. They also do it with soldiers, puppies, cruelty to animals, etc. What I am talking about is the random posts on Facebook that say things like, "Click like if you love Jesus," "Leave a comment if you follow Jesus," "Copy and paste this as your status if you support our troops" and "Forward this to 10 of your friends and you will have happiness."

Just wrong, period! People are using these things to get likes for their pictures and sites. You want to post something and have someone like it, write something original. Take your own picture, don't take someone else's and use it with a snappy caption pimping out Jesus or our troops or abused animals to get likes.

You want likes and follows, be honest. How about saying, "Like this site if you support what I am doing to bring the message of Jesus to people" or "Leave a comment if you support what I am doing." It is okay to use yourself and what you are personally doing. But using Jesus, pictures of soldiers or discussing what others are doing that you have no involvement in to curry favor is not the way to do it.

I am saying this because if you love and follow Jesus, your walk will show it. If you support the troops, donate to a non-profit set up to help them. Same with abused animals. If those poor dogs being abused and killed break your heart, adopt your next dog from the pound or shelter and not purchase it from a breeder or puppy mills. Finally, if you want to be happy and you are not, make changes in your friends, habits, activities and employment.

Just an FYI, I love Jesus and I would say that I have a good relationship with Him. Not great, but it is progress not perfection we aim for. That said, I have never commented or liked one of the posts that wanted me to prove it in some inane ways. I also support our troops yet I have never copied and pasted a status to say that I supported our troops. Finally, I have never forwarded an email to become happy, find love, not die in 7 days, keep a puppy from being killed or prove my faith.

We are called to be SALT AND LIGHT, NOT COMMENT AND LIKE!! Trust me, if you think that you are living on the wrong side of God, no amount of sharing an email or liking a post is going to change that. People who try to tell you that it will are misguided at best. Using God to get likes, salvation to get comments and people's fears to get shares is not right. If you want to get those things, then there are ways to get it:

1. Photograph something amazing 
2. Write something meaningful
3. Record something that catches people's attention
4. Start a non-profit benefiting a group and pour yourself into it

I want you to know that I am guilty on occasion of overdoing some things on Facebook and probably Twitter. At one time I had Facebook and Twitter linked and was double posting on Facebook because of it. I am also no longer going to use hash tags and @insertTwitternamehere on Facebook as that is not the right language. If you are on a social media network, use it and then take the time to post on the next social media network using their format.

My problem was that I was lazy and I realize that if I want people to have an interest in what I am doing, I need to show that same interest in them. Rick Warren says, "People don't care about how much you know until they know about how much you care!" If you care, you will take time out to do things well. You will use original content, not steal others.

I also share my faith very openly and honestly. I was out of hope, lost and ready to give up on life. Through Christ I found hope and a reason to live. He saved my life. If you discover something that saves your life, know that if you share it with others it could save theirs too and you don't do it............you suck at life. You are simply not a good person. Not judging, just saying!

I also talk about the exercise I do and the food I eat on occasion. The reason for that is I am in the middle of losing a goal of 60 pounds, and 70 would probably be good. I have other friends that struggle with weight issues and impulse control that are encouraged by what I say. At least, that is what they tell me. Because of that, I share about dieting, exercise, Jesus and the things that keep me positive. I hope that it will allow others to get a better outlook on life and overcome some of their struggles.

In closing, if you can be positive that is great. If you have nice, uplifting things to say then by all means say them. If all you do is complain and trash other people, then maybe you need to keep that to yourself. Let me know about you. After all, that is what I care about.

Today Spiritual Spackle is 1 Year Old!!

As of today, Spiritual Spackle has existed for one year. What that means is that one year ago today I began a blog that bears the same name of the book that I am currently writing. Spiritual Spackle the book and the blog are both dedicated to 2 things: Christ and Recovery. There are other things that I do talk about, but in reality all that I write about boils down to being in recovery and being Christ-like. Everything else is truly secondary. Do I write about being a husband, father and counselor. Yes I do, but without recovery and Christ I would suck at them, so the theme permeates all that I do!

When I first started the blog, I had hopes that it would be read at least 100 times a week. That would be 5,200 hits over the last year. You broke that, and it has been viewed 11,512 times. That is 221 times a week. I find it awesome that so many people care about reading what I have to say about Christ and Recovery. I just hope that what I write can help teach some, lead others and give hope to all who spare me several minutes of their time to stop by and read something I have written.

I did not even really think about the other countries that would visit this site. I would have thought maybe 10 or 20 if I would have been asked. Instead, there have been 84 countries that have stopped by Spiritual Spackle. You can see all of them at http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2011/06/countries.html  The top 10 are:

1. United States
2. Russia
3. United Kingdom
4. Germany
5. France
6. Brazil
7. Canada
8. Slovenia
9. Australia
10. Philippines

I have had some blogs that have had more hits than others. The top one that I have ever posted had over 650 hits and it was not written by me. The top blog that I posted was viewed by over 200 people, and it is one of my testimonies. I am grateful that my finding recovery through Christ was interesting and hopefully inspirational enough that over 200 people have watched it. The rest of the top 10 are written by me or about the non-profit that I am forming. Here are the links to the top 10 blogs in my first year:

1. http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2011/05/45-seconds-memoirs-of-er-doctor-from.html
2. http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2012/01/celebrate-recovery-testimony-01192012.html
3. http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2011/05/joplin-tornado-and-psychological-first.html
4. http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2011/10/documentary-update-please-like-and.html
5. http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2011/08/call-to-christians.html
6. http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2012/03/reason-rally-atheists-agnostics-and.html
7. http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2011/12/thank-youthe-journey-has-only-just.html
8. http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2012/05/better-life-in-recovery-documentary.html
9. http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2011/09/chris-rene-young-homie.html
10. http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2011/12/i-have-enquiring-mind-i-want-to-know.html

What has disappointed me is the number of likes that I have gotten on Facebook. I have only had 142 like the site so far. It is found here http://www.facebook.com/pages/Spiritual-Spackle/208425445856402 and I would have figured that I would have at least 250 likes by now. Truth be told, if you want to like the site than like it. If not, at least continue reading. In the end, reading what is on this blog is much more important than clicking like. That said, feel free to share this blog with all that you know and I look forward to sharing more about Christ and Recovery with you in the years to come! Here is to Finding A Better Life Exists.........in Recovery!

Could Jesus Find a Disciple part 3 Following Christ in the Modern Era (Loving God)

Matthew 22: 37-40 states that when Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, he said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”


Today we are going to look at what it means to love God as we are commanded to. Tomorrow we will look at what it means to love your neighbor as yourself. These are two hard to explain and even harder to complete concepts, if we make them that way. They are actually pretty simple to break down if we use the Bible as a guide (which is what we will do today and tomorrow). Furthermore, they are not as difficult to accomplish as we would believe. Instead, they are only as difficult to accomplish as we make them.  

What does it mean to love God with all that you have and all that you are? Let us first look at what love does not look like. Phillip Yancey in his book What's so Amazing About Grace uses a newlywed to explain our relationship with God, and it is one of the most powerful and easy to understand examples that I know of.

Imagine a groom talking to his new bride the night of their wedding, "Honey, I love you so much. You mean the world to me and are of the upmost importance to me. But, I have a couple of questions for you. Now that we are married, how far can I go with other women? Can I sleep with them? Kiss them? How about flirt with them, or just stare at them as they walk by? What if I spend the week with other women, as long as I am with you on the weekends? You don't mind a few affairs now and then, do you? I know that it might hurt you, but just think of all the opportunities you'll have to forgive me after I betray you!"

Do you think the groom that just spoke has the slightest concept of what love is? Of course not, yet many of us as soon as we get into a relationship with God begin looking for loopholes. We begin to wonder just what we can get away with. We ask ourselves how little we can get by with doing. Or we tell ourselves that since God's grace is so all-encompassing, we can just go on sinning and it is not a big deal. All of that is what love is not.

A true relationship, on the other hand, is completely different. You do not do things not out of fear of getting caught, but because you feel remorse as soon as you do them (or even think about doing them). The question you ask yourself is not, "What will make me the happiest and please me," but is instead, "What can I do that will make God happy and please Him?" When how you live your life is an expression of how much you love someone, that is a strong relationship. When you please them not because you feel that you "have" to, but because you want to is the type of love we are talking about here. The reason I do not cheat on my wife is not because I am afraid that she might find out. The reason that I do not cheat on my wife is because I love her and I cannot imagine hurting or betraying her in any way!

God has gone above and beyond loving us. God has blessed us with grace, and that grace is something that we should be grateful and appreciative of. I can act however I want now that I have been reborn, because how I want to behave is to please Christ. I am unworthy of the forgiveness and grace that I have been offered. I was a filthy vessel, yet the Holy Spirit filled me. I can never say thank you enough!

I can, however, show that I do not appreciate what I have been given. I show my appreciation through expressing my love for God.  Not living my life to please God, or finding excuses to do what I know is wrong is how I show I don't appreciate God's grace. If I do not act as if I appreciate God's grace it is a good guess that I am not in relationship with Him. Love on the other hand is expressed by gratitude, and my attitude of gratitude is shown by how I live my life.

My life is lived well when I know that I need God. Only when I can admit my flaws and ask forgiveness for my sins can I receive grace. Grace is a gift, and you cannot obtain a gift that you do not receive. I cannot be forgiven if I feel I have nothing to forgive. I will continue to sin, and denial of that will result in my not receiving grace. That said, intentional sin is not how we follow the way Christ expressed we should live. You do not cheat on your wife to show how much you love her. When you do make mistakes in relationship, you should let the person you are in relationship know. They cannot forgive what is not brought to them.

God always has His arms extended, but sometimes we choose to turn away. We choose to not show our love for God. God's love gives us grace, but our loving God is how we receive grace. The only way that we can receive grace is through repentance of our sins! Loving God with your whole heart, soul and mind is what inspires us to repent of our sins and to live our lives better.

The Bible tells us what love is in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

Love never fails is one of the strongest statements in the Bible. It is also the end result of our following what Jesus told us to do. WE WILL NOT FAIL!!! Today we examined how to show God we love Him, and tomorrow we will discuss how to love your fellow man in the blog entitled: Could Jesus Find a Disciple part 4 Following Christ in the Modern Era