Celebrate Recovery - Why I Believe CR is for Everyone!

There are multiple arguments I have heard against Celebrate Recovery. I am going to address a couple of the more common ones. In doing this I hope you will see Celebrate Recovery is for everyone. After all, we all fall short of living a perfect life and have all experienced hurts, habits and hang-ups that keep us from living life to the fullest. Celebrate Recovery is a program that allows you to live an abundant life!

Here are the 5 most common reasons I have heard for not attending Celebrate Recovery:

1.       I don’t need Celebrate Recovery because I am not an addict or alcoholic.

2.       I don’t believe in God, and Celebrate Recovery believes in that mythical guy in the sky.

3.       I don’t need a 12 step program to help me. The 12 steps are for junkies and winos.

4.       I am not going to tell a bunch of people my problems.

5.       I don’t need a sponsor to help me live my life.

Here are my responses to the arguments listed above:

1.       So you are not addicted to alcohol or drugs. In fact, you may never have seen drugs or touched a drop of alcohol your entire life. That does not mean recovery isn’t for you. There are many things in this life that we struggle to recover from. That is why Celebrate Recovery addresses more than just addiction. It addresses hurts habits and hang-ups.

HURTS are those feelings elicited from experiencing hurtful situations and other people’s negative behaviors. HABITS are the chronic behaviors and addictions you use to cope with stressors in life. HANG-UPS are negative mental attitudes that keep us from progressing further in life. Everyone struggles with at least one, if not many of these issues.  

2.       Yes, Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered program. However, you don’t have to be a Christian to go there. When I first came to Celebrate Recovery, I was an atheist who leaned towards agnosticism. I came because I was depressed and hopeless and the meetings that I had been going to were not working for me. The meetings I went to were overflowing with sobriety but deficient in recovery.  

I needed something different. I needed to be around positive people who did not all refer to themselves as addicts and alcoholics. I found that in Celebrate Recovery. I also found there was a kinship between addicts, codependents, workaholics and people with eating disorders. There was a similarity between my anger, someone else’s depression and someone’s materialism. I had friends that were not addicts and alcoholics but who still struggled with life. That was healing in a way I had never known before. I gained hope and stopped judging myself.

3.       Why don’t you need the 12 steps? Is there a guide you follow to help you live a more satisfying, less chaotic life? If not, there should be and that is what the 12 steps are. They are a game plan for success in life. Who does not need to live a better life? I have yet to meet a perfect person. I know great people who live amazing lives, but they are ALL WORKS IN PROGRESS .  The 12 steps are a guide to making the progress we all need in order to live richer, more fulfilling lives.

4.       I understand why there may be things you don’t want to share with other people. I get that! I was abused as a child both physically and sexually. People knew that I had been abused physically. I was ashamed of being sexually abused, though. I knew I would be judged and criticized if anyone knew, so I kept that secret for over 30 years. I never told anyone. I was speaking at a church when I shared it for the first time. It wasn’t planned, it just happened.

After the sermon, I had someone tell me he had been molested as well and had never told anyone until now. Since I began sharing that part of my life, half a dozen men have thanked me for sharing and told me I was the first person they had ever shared that part of their life with. So my sharing helped others. It also helped me. The burden I once struggled to carry alone has been shared with many others. It no longer feels as heavy and shameful as it once did. I have been met with nothing but love and encouragement since I began sharing that part of my life. In fact, the shame and guilt I carried for over 30 years has vanished!  

5.       The word sponsor here really turns some people off. Instead of sponsor, let’s call this person a mentor. A mentor is an adviser who is both experienced and trusted. Bill Gates, the world’s richest person according to the Forbes 400 in 2013, has a mentor. Bill Gate regularly goes to Warren Buffet for advice. Socrates mentored Plato, Plato mentored Aristotle and Aristotle mentored Alexander the Great. Even in the Bible, we see that Barnabas mentored Paul who in turn mentored Timothy.

If Bill Gates, Aristotle and Paul felt the need for mentors, maybe you should as well. After all, mentors/sponsors are vitally important to making positive changes in our lives. They have a history of making the kind of choices we strive to make in order to have the type of life we desire to live. They have been where we are and have a found a better life for themselves and they share that recipe for success with us!

When I came to Celebrate Recovery I was no longer a proud and angry agnostic who knew it all. I was shattered and hopeless. Life had finally broken me fundamentally and I saw no way out. I had tried everything: Rational Recovery, various anonymous recovery groups, counseling, prescription medication, residential and outpatient treatment, prison, jail, house arrest, probation, parole and finally suicide. Nothing has ever worked for longer than 3 months.

What I found in Celebrate Recovery worked. I have been free from my addictions for over 5 years now. I want to share the hope and happiness I have found with others. That is why I speak in communities and churches. This is the reason I write and post things through my blog. I want to share the strength, experience and hope I found when I experienced Christ’s love and grace with everyone.  Celebrate Recovery works!

If you have any doubts or questions about the efficacy of Celebrate Recovery please share them with me. Send me messages on Facebook or post them in the comments on my blog. That way I can answer them and allay your fears, anxieties and doubts so you give Celebrate Recovery a try. I want you to attend meetings, join a step study group and give it a chance. The only things you have to lose are the hurts habits and hang-ups you struggle with. It worked for me and I truly believe it will work for you!

Quality not Quantity

I am seeing a growing trend. There are bigger and bigger churches springing up all around the area I live in. Some of them look to be the size of NCAA Division I football stadiums or concert arenas. Some of them are spread out over many acres and would make a junior college campus envious. They are packing the seats inside of those churches, too.

As big as they are, they continue to open up other “campuses.” That tends to be their term for the new churches they open up, not mine. When you look up campus you will see definitions ranging from “grounds of a college, university or institution of higher learning” as well as “a large landscaped business or industrial site.”

Next we will look at the church service itself. I have seen multiple churches promoting their services as a “60 minute experience.” Come visit us and listen to a great message. There are also the buzz phrases: “seeker friendly,” “seeker sensitive” and “culturally relevant.”  Then there is the promise of being comfortable and having fun. There sure is a lot of things going on at these places. Let’s look at that next.

There are the electric guitars, strobe lights and fog machines during worship music (which sometimes includes secular songs that don’t tie into the sermon at all). There are the subjects discussed, as well. Let us talk about pop psychology and media 101 in our church “experience.” We can talk about the latest books, movies and popular music during your 60 minute stay so that you feel comfortable, safe and informed.

Great advertising, good marketing and top notch entertainment provided in a minimal amount of time. Sounds like an amazing place. I can see why they are packing them in. Who wouldn’t want to go there? It sounds simply amazing, especially to someone from “old” churches that could go for 2 hours and sang boring hymns and had choirs. Who wants that? Not the average, unchurched person of today. In fact, not that many of the churched, either based on attendances.  

After all, the new church is just being Biblical. That is why Jesus then Paul packed them in to hear them speak. They had the harps and horns rocking, and when people came to hear them it was for only 30-60 minutes so that they could go about the rest of their day and not be inconvenienced. They even talked about entertainment, often referring to archery and wrestling contests as well as the latest games held in the coliseum.  

Okay, maybe not. I am confused by some of the wording. For starters, why is it called a campus? The argument could be made that it is because it is an institution of learning. On the opposite side, the argument could also be made that it is because it is a business per the definition of the word. After all, businesses tend to have cool logos and catchy slogans. They also use buzz words to attract people to their place of business. It is all about the marketing.

Calling service a 60 minute experience is wrong on many levels. For starters, how do you actually know how long the sermon will be? What if the Holy Spirit leads you to preach longer” What if the worship leader is compelled to play longer? What if prayer takes 15 minutes instead of 60 seconds? We are putting the Holy Spirit in a box. “Well, the Spirit knows how long it has to work on people,” is the answer. After all, that is Biblical????

Next, we look at seeker friendly, seeker sensitive and culturally relevant. We are non-confrontational as we slide in beside people and tell them what they want to hear. After all, the message in the New Testament was never about judgment, in your face instruction or discipline.  “We are not to judge. If you don’t believe me read Matthew 5:1,” said no one who has read the Bible EVER! We are no longer Christian soldiers engaged in warfare with this world, but Earthly hipsters’ intent on making sure everyone likes and accepts us!

We need to keep up with the trends. After all, we are part of this world too, right. How can I possibly share the hope of salvation and the impact of Christ’s grace if I don’t know how to relate it to people in a funny, engaging way by talking about a movie they have seen, a book they read or a song they listen to on the radio? Plus, how can I possibly get people to visit my church if it is not loud, short and exciting.

We need to dress down, so that the people coming in can feel better and more comfortable. It sends the message that we are no different from them. Also, remember to keep the “message” superficial and positive. There is no need to go on and on about this being a sin-filled, fallen world. After all, we are part of this world and that would send the wrong message. We are not separate, we are just like the rest of the world and that is why they will come here.

Now I ask you, what is the problem with the above scenarios? There are many who attend these churches that have great Biblical knowledge and live amazing Christ-like lives and it puzzles me. I would like to know why you are drawn to these churches. I personally and Biblically see major issues with these churches. Here are some of them:

1.       The message appears to be determined more by the world than the Word

2.       They try too hard to fit in with this world, becoming of it more than just in it

3.       People who are  hopeless are looking for something different, not what they already know

4.       Change does not happen when you are comfortable. It happens when you are uncomfortable

5.       There is a focus on the unchurched, not the unsaved. There is a big difference in those 2 words

6.       Churchgoers are being entertained instead of equipped to share the Gospel with all they come in contact with

7.       There is a focus on attendance instead of discipleship

8.       The Holy Spirit has been given time constraints

9.       It can be highly uncomfortable to be a Christian, and people are misled into thinking otherwise. Jesus said that they would hate us as they hated Him and that we are to daily pick up our cross and follow Him. He told the prostitute to go and sin no more. Those do not sound like very seeker sensitive messages.

10.   People are not being taught to stop sinning. We can no longer continue doing the things that we know are wrong. You cannot put new wine (a Christian lifestyle) into an old wine skin (your previous secular life)and expect to begin living Christ-like.

I am not judging, I am instead fruit-inspecting. When the fruit is not ripe, there are problems with the tree. When someone says it is an apple tree and all you see are oranges hanging from it, you know there is something not right. When I ask someone what they like the most about their church and they say the music or how laid back it is, that worries me. When I hear no mention of the Holy Spirit moving or the presence of God being felt, I get a little scared. When they don’t speak about how it made them feel uncomfortable and see that there needed to be big changes made in their lives, I get worried.

The seeker friendly church may be a good place for those who are not Christians, but I am not sure that it is a good place to go other than the first time or two.  After that, you need to grow and I am not sure that real growth is encouraged in church service. Instead, you are tasked to go to small groups for that. Small groups are an awesome thing, but church is where your coach should be using the playbook and teaching you how to win the game. Translation, this is where your pastor uses the Bible and teaches you how to live Christ-like.

In closing, don’t judge the validity of a church by the attendance. After all, rock bands sell out 50,000 seat arenas every day. People love to be entertained. They don’t like to be called out, though. That is why just because a church has 1,000 or 20,000 members does not mean that it is better than the church of 50. In fact, it may be worse.

I Killed Jesus

Today I am writing to you about a T-Shirt that I own. I get more looks when I wear this shirt than any other. Today, I had about half a dozen people comment on it and at least 50 people read it then glare at me as they walked past. The problem is they see "I Killed Jesus" written in white and can't read the rest written in gray. This shirt, made by Not of This World (NOTW), is an amazing conversation starter. More than that, it is a statement of truth.

The shirt actually reads, "I killed Jesus & Jesus died to save me ...Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners of whom I am the worst. 1 Tim 1:15" This is one of my favorite versus, written by one of my favorite authors. It is written by Paul, who had something in common with Prince as they were both formerly known as something. Paul was the Christian formerly known as Saul. He had once been the scourge of Christians. He hunted them down, persecuting and killing them for their believes. He was bad news.

Then something happened. You can read about the road to Damascus in Acts Chapter 9. He goes from following Judaism and hunting down Chrsitians as Saul of Tarsus in the first couple of verses to his conversion to Christianity then full circle to a conspiracy by the Jews to kill him. He accepted Christ and traveled all over the country, going from city to city proselytizing. What a change the Holy Spirit makes!

Every time someone comments on the shirt, it tends to go like this. Someone says,"So you killed Jesus, huh?" To  which I reply, "Yes I did. Jesus died to forgive us of our sins and I am a sinner. So are you. If not for our sins Christ would never have had to die. He died because of us." To which most walk off after saying something monumentally profound, such as "Well that makes sense."

The truth is Christ's crucifixion is the greatest thing that ever happened to man, and yet the worst thing man has ever done. It is the definition of the Taoist Yin Yang, an equality of good and evil. Christ died so that our sins could be forgiven, a one time sacrifice that changed the outcome of our lives. That death gave us grace, unmerited favor for while we were still sinners Christ died for us. Yet killing the only perfect person who had ever lived, the son of God and son of man.......that is a pretty bad deal on our part.

Yes, Christ died willingly. Yes, it was actually the Romans that killed Him based on the request of the Jews. But He came here to die for a reason. He came here to die for our sins. If we do not sin, He never has to be the sacrificial lamb who was slaughtered. Since He died for our sins, by proxy we killed Him.

So did I kill Jesus? Yes, we all did. Romans 3:23 tells us that, "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Not just me, not just you but everybody! He died for us all, so that we could one day know eternal life. Now I want to give you something to think on. This is food for thought for today, and I want you to really think about it today as you chew on it. I know that it really struck me today when I thought about it.

When Christ died, it was to not only redeem us but to remove us from the bondage of sin. When we come to Christ, we are healed. Sin is a sickness, and the wage of sin is death (Romans 6:23). With his own life Christ paid that debt for us. BUT every time we sin we drive another nail into Jesus. We kill Jesus over and over again every day. When is enough enough?

So I only have one question for you today: Hasn't Jesus suffered enough?

Better Life in Recovery Testimony - Beyond Repair 2012/07/29

This is the testimony/sermon that I gave at Life Fellowship Church. It is the story of my life, from sexual and physical abuse at a young age which led to anger, depression and substance abuse. After 25 years of substance abuse and multiple attempts at stopping that included jail, prison, rehab, medication and multiple therapists I thought that I would never be able to overcome my addiction. Then I decided to give God a chance, and since the night I made a deal with God I have not used.

In my finding recovery God placed a couple into my life that loved me to Christ. If not for them, I would not be where I am today in my life. I would be dead. Looking at Paul and Ananius and the correlation between me and the couple that entered into my life, I ask the congregation to challenge themselves to go out and see what Paul they can be an Ananius to.

Moral of the story is that no one is beyond repair, but if we do not go out into the world and show everyone God's grace and love then we are not living our lives right!!

The Longer I'm In Recovery

I shot one more interview for the documentary this morning then took my wife to worship team practice. We are shooting a friends testimony for her tomorrow so that she can have it to give to potential speaking venues so they can hear what she will bring to their audiences. I am meeting with my web designer Monday, my accountability partner on Wednesday and giving my testimony at Ridgecrest Baptist Church on Thursday. All week I work as a substance abuse counselor peddling hope while watching clients rebuild clean and sober lives. My life is recovery, and my life is amazing. It used to be filled with depression and anger as a soldier for Satan, now it is positive and optimistic with a focus on Christ.

There is a reason for that positivity and optimism. That reason is simple. I know what hell looks like and how it feels to wish for death. I have been to those places. I have seen demons and heard them scream in my ear. That was my past. Now I know what it is to be filled with love and guided by the Holy Spirit. I now want to live. That is all possible because I chose to turn my life over to Christ in a moment of need. I had tried everything but Christ, and they had all failed. With God, all things are possible.

Now I have a new lease on life; an outlook on my day that makes people like to be around me. I can now be a good example for others to follow and share with them a story of God's unimaginable grace. I feel that is my duty; to share my past addictions and defects as well as my recovery and how it occurred. The longer that I am in recovery, the louder my voice should be. It is not to be forgotten where I came from and how I got to where I am today. In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul says that he boasts about his weaknesses, hardships, difficulties and persecutions. So do I.

That is what my testimony and life are. I get to show others that there is a better life in recovery. The longer that I am in recovery, the stronger and wiser I become. It is my responsibility to share that strength and wisdom with others. For years I took from society, and the further in my addiction I got the more I took. Therefore, the longer I am clean and sober the more I owe back. I got a second chance at life (more like an 8th chance. I must be a cat to have this many lives) and it is wasted if I don't use it to help others!

Could Jesus Find a Disciple part 4 Following Christ in the Modern Era (Love Your Neighbor)

Matthew 22: 37-40 states that when Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, he said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Today we are going to look at what it means to love your neighbor as yourself. This sounds easy, but it is actually one of the hardest thing to do. We are to love our fellow man? Really? I know that there are some people I cannot stand. But at the heart of the distaste we have, the righteous anger we feel and the hate we may harbor is the mantra I have oft heard, "Love the sinner, hate the sin!" Unfortunately, that is not found in the Bible.

However, what is found in the Bible is Romans 13:8-10, "Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet, and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law."

Just like yesterday, the theme today is love. Paul tells us that love fulfills the law. So, what exactly does it mean to love your neighbor as yourself? To most it means to follow the "Golden Rule." Treat others the way you want to be treated. I say that is not enough. I would challenge you to do more. We should not treat people the way we would want to be treated, but instead treat others better than we would want to be treated!

Furthermore, a lot of us may not be at a place where we feel that we should be treated with respect or love. Loving ourselves may seem impossible today, as we have not forgiven ourselves for our past choices YET. If we were to treat people the way we want to be treated, most people would leave our company depressed and angry. For those of us that applies to, I have another suggestion. Treat others better than we would want our children to be treated (If you have them, if not pretend).

As a substance abuse counselor, I work with many clients who have trouble loving themselves. That said, they have intense love for their children. They will stay in an abusive relationship, but when I ask what they would do if their daughter was in the same relationship, I get the same answer. "I would hurt the abuser and get my daughter out of that relationship because she deserves better than that." They do not deserve better, but their children do. Even though they are addicted to drugs, they would never want their children to use them. Once again, their children are better than that but they feel that they need or sometimes that they deserve it.

So, I am going to try to sum this up in a way we can all understand. Would you want your son's wife to cheat on him? No, then we do not sleep with someone else's mate! Would you want people to use your daughter as a one night stand? No, then we should avoid one night stands! Would you want someone to rob your children? No, then we should not steal from others! How would you feel if someone killed your  child? Bad, so we do not kill others.

It sounds very easy at face value, but it is not. We tend to look at some people as less than us, or some whose sins are worse than others. Not all sins are equal, but other than blaspheming the Holy Spirit they are all forgivable (Matthew 12:31, Mark 3:29 and Luke 12:10).

We seem to forget what the Bible shows us. Take Paul for example. He was a man who wrote 40% of the New Testament, and we would probably all agree that he is in heaven. Yet, before he had his conversion on the road to Damascus, his mission in life was to stamp out Christianity and have Christians tortured and put to death. He was a party in the death of innocents based on nothing more than their belief in Christ. Even he was well aware that his past sin was great. Paul was a man who was very cognizant of his level of sin.

In 1 Timothy 1:15,16 Paul goes so far as to say, "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life."

Here we see that all is forgiven through belief in Christ and as we read above, through love of God and our fellow man. All sin can be overcome. Therefore, it is not on me to judge someone. We all want God's grace, but it is one of those things that can only be kept by giving it away. If I show grace to others, then I am worthy of it. Grace is often defined as either divine influence or unmerited favor. This means that it is given where it is not asked for and/or wanted. We use grace not to feel better than others, but to insure they are on even ground with us. We should never try to elevate our status above that of those around us. We should never look down on others because we have lived more pious lives. That is the danger of legalism.

Legalism generally causes Christians to feel pride, or that they are in competition with other people. Trust me, we are not trying to "out perfect" each other. We would all fall short. None of us are worthy of God's grace, yet it is given to us. Take for example the attitude of some churches when it comes to homosexuality. We used to look at divorce in the church like many churches look at homosexuality today. Even today there are churches that shun peope who drink socially, even if it is only a glass of wine or a couple of beers a week. Is that fair? What does that tell the person who feels looked down on in church from the moment they walk through the door? It is not on us to change others, but the job of the Holy Spirit!

So we should not shun individuals, or we begin to make people feel unwelcome in church. If they do not come to church it makes it more difficult for the Spirit to work on them. We should treat them with love and treat them with civility. Everyone sins just like me! I go to a church where probably 99.9% (I once heard that 100% is statistically impossible) of the members are guilty of gluttony, envy, lust or apathy at one point or another each week. I still love them and talk to them.

What if your child where to tell you that he was gay? Would you hate him and disown him, or would you still love him? Would you want people cussing him, asking him not to come back to their church or talking about him behind his back? Of course not, we would still want him to be treated with respect and to go to church. Based on this we should treat others in the same manner. If I would not want you to gossip about me or a member of my family, I should not gossip about anyone else, period!!

When did love mean that we told people that they were not welcome back to our church, as I have heard that some churches have done with homosexuals. Like I said, the same way that we treat homosexuals in some churches now is how the divorced were treated in churches only 50 years ago. Look around your church and think of how many of your fellow attendees are divorced and would have not been welcome in many churches several decades ago. Do you vilify them, or make them feel unwelcome because they have been divorced. Of course you don't! Everyone should have the right to come to church, because everyone is deserving of God's grace.

When we look at others we should try to see them through the eyes of our creator. AA has a saying that I have always liked. It says that you are working a good program when everyone else sees a bum and you see a prospect. Everyone that you lay your eyes on was created by God, and as the saying goes, "God don't make no junk!" Jesus did not spend his time loving the legalistic pharisees and sadducces, but instead the sinners and those that the pious believer looked down upon and would not even speak to. I don't know about you, but I know I am no better than Christ. In fact, I would do well to try and follow in His footsteps.

In closing, we are not asked to be disciples today the same way that we were called to follow Him 2,000 years ago. We are not called to leave our jobs and family instantly for Christ. We are called to follow Christ where we are and in all that we do. We are called to put the interest of God first and foremost in our lives, and to treat others better than we would want others to treat our children! If we live our life this way we are living as a Christian. If not, then we may have a surprise coming when we pass on to the afterlife. Narrow is the road to salvation!