Christians Are Not to Judge (NOT!!)

Do we judge other people? There are those who will quote scripture to chastise and judge those who judge others. Today we are going to look at one passage in the Bible to learn about whether or not we should judge others. The reason I am going to use this particular passage is because it contains the scripture that most often gets thrown in Christian's faces when we disagree with how others live.

The argument against judging others is that Jesus, in Matthew 7:1 clearly says, "Do not judge." They read that, and most stop right there. "See, your own Jesus says that you are not to judge me or anyone else," says the sinner. They use this as a way to say, "Christians don't even follow the malarkey that they believe." With that simple sentence, do not judge, many a Christian is shut down and left speechless.

Some will even use the entire first verse of Matthew chapter 7, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged." With that comment, anyone who suggests that someone is living a life that could lead them to hell is really saying that they too are going to hell. This makes complete sense, right?!?!?! After all, if a judge sentences someone to prison he is really sending himself to prison. Of course not. That would be ludicrous and devoid of logic.

If we look at this scripture, we should automatically realize that it is not to be taken in by itself only. If this scripture is read in to, I can walk away believing that I can do whatever I want and will never be judged. I can murder, lie, steal, cheat and there are no consequences for it as long as I don't judge other people. Wahoo!! There's no rules!!!

In Matthew 7:21 Jesus says, "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." How is that possible if all we have to do is not judge others and we will get into heaven? So what is God's will Jesus speaks of? Jesus said there are two commands we are to follow in Matthew 22:37-40. He says we are to love God with all of our heart, soul and mind as well as love our neighbor as we love ourselves.

Wait, there's two rules? How can this be, if we do not get judged as long as we don't judge others? What do you mean, we won't get into heaven if we don't do God's will. I thought I couldn't get judged?? Obviously, there is a disconnect here. It is because we have not taken in the entire passage. So, lets look at the passage and see what Jesus really says.

Matthew 7:2-5 says, "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured against you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

So, when Jesus says do not judge, what He really means is do not judge out of hypocrisy. It is like an alcoholic telling someone smoking marijuana or doing methamphetamine that they need to stop because its wrong what they are doing. When I was an addict, I would have people who were next to me smoking meth tell me that I was going to hell because I was not saved. "Get saved like me and you will go to heaven too," I was told on several occasions. THIS IS ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS I STAYED AN AGNOSTIC FOR AS LONG AS I DID!!!! Jesus is saying that we are not to judge other's sin when our sin is just as bad if not worse!

Parents, how can you tell your children not to smoke cigarettes or do drugs when you are doing them yourself? How can you tell them to not cuss when you curse yourself? When we parent with a "do as I say, not as I do" mentality we are doomed to fail. Get your life in order and begin living your life as we are commanded to.

When I am not living my life well, I am not in a position to help others. Judgement consists of two things. First we look at the actions and words of someone and discern how what they mean. Then we begin to instruct them on how to live their lives better. It is not hateful to judge someones actions and then assist them. If I see someone about to do something that would kill them and do nothing, that makes me a horrible person. If we see our brothers and sisters engaging in actions that will doom them for eternity and do nothing, we are sinning. Period!!

We should be instructing others in how to live the right way. This is done to all of us from the day we are born until the day we die. Our parents, teachers, local and federal laws all instruct us on how we should conduct ourselves. So, judgement and instruction is not bad................but it can be!

We are not to tear others down, just to build ourselves up. We don't belittle or nag others. We are not to instruct others to make ourselves feel better. We are not to instruct others and be hateful or judgmental in the process. Instead, we are to live our lives well and try to help those who are our brother's in Christ do the same! We are not instructing others out of hate, but out of love. We do not walk before our brothers, but instead walk beside them.

So who are we to judge? We are to instruct and help our brothers and sisters in Christ based on what God has said in the Bible. That at times means we need to make a judgement of someone based on their words or actions. By judging someones actions or words, we can then instruct them on how to live their lives by the Word of God. This is vital!

I know the American church does not need less internal judgement. THE AMERICAN CHURCH NEEDS MORE INTERNAL JUDGEMENT, AND LESS EXTERNAL CONDEMNATION!!! We are so busy picking the dust out of the eyes of the nonbeliever that we not only ignore the tree in our own eye. we also ignore all of the sin that is in the church. We are not called to stand in judgement of the world. God will do that. We are to help our brethren. Remember, iron sharpens iron.

So in closing, we are called to judge and instruct our Christian brothers and sisters from God's Word with discernment and love by first judging ourselves. Once we have gotten our lives in order with the two commandments we can then begin to help others. In all honesty, if you see your brother doing something that you know would lead to his death and said and did nothing you would be a horrible person! So, let us begin to rebuild the church and make it strong again by l

Iron Sharpens Iron Part 2 - Change your Playmates

When they refer to playmates they are literally referring to the people that we spend time with. There are people in our lives who engage in the activities that we are trying to no longer engage in. We tend to surround ourselves with people we feel comfortable around.  When I first enter into a new lifestyle, I need to surround myself with people who will support the way I now choose to live.

This is actually one of the most difficult things to do. We may have used drugs with our brother, sister, husband or wife. We may drink with our parents and all of our friends. We may not have any friends at all that do not do drugs or drink. We may not, when we look at our lives realistically, have any true friends.

When I have someone ask me what a true friend is, I ask them the same question, “If you had $1,000 dollars on your dresser and you were leaving the house and your friend were staying, would you hide the money before you left? Or would you be confident that the money would still be there when you came back?” What most of my clients find out is that the people they thought were friends are generally nothing more than acquaintances?

In my past, I had friends that would have taken a bullet for me. They would have helped me hide bodies! But they also would have helped hide mine if they could have made any money on it. The truth is, they were only my friend because they either wanted what I had, what they could get from me, because I had good drugs, could get rid of their drugs, did drugs with them or because they were scared of me. It is really hard to admit it, but I had very few true friends.

Here is a story that I will relate about finding out one of my old acquaintances was truly a friend. I moved when I got clean. I knew that I could not stay clean and still live where I had been a drug dealer for so long. I moved to Springfield, and I worked at a local restaurant in the mall. I saw one of my old friends several times over the course of five years. Every time that I saw him he would catch my eye, then turn around and leave the restaurant. I had not been working at the restaurant for a year, but was at the mall Christmas shopping when I saw my old friend again. He walked up to me and asked me how I had been doing.

“I have been doing really well, but I have to ask you a question," I replied. "How come every time I've seen you since I left Branson, you have seen me and immediately left the place I was at?"

"It was because I was still dealing drugs, and I knew that you weren't anymore. I did not want to be a temptation to you."

“So why are you talking to me now?” I asked.

"Because I am no longer doing drugs. In fact, I have been off of drugs and out of that lifestyle for a year now. Unfortunately, I had old charges that came up and I have to turn myself in to complete a federal prison sentence in January. I was actually hoping to run into you, I just wanted you to know that I got clean to."

After that he and I caught up on what was going on with the old crew that I used to hang out with. It consisted mostly of people in prison and people who were no longer alive. As I say goodbye to him, it dawned on me that he was actually a true friend. He knew that I could probably not maintain the lifestyle I was living if we were to remain friends. So instead of being a negative influence, he chose to not be in my life at all. Honestly, I had very few friends who did not do drugs when I finally got off of drugs.

There's a reason for that. In addiction we tend to chase away the people who do not do what we do (drugs, alcohol, etc). We stop being friends with people who truly care about us, because they tend to want to see us improve our lives. They remind us of the negative things that we are currently doing. So instead, we surround ourselves with people that do not have our best intentions at heart.

The Bible in 1 Corinthians 15:33 states that, “Bad company corrupts good character.” And Proverbs 13:20 says," He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm."

It sounds like maybe we need to make positive friends. It is hard to learn how to be sober if we hang around with drunks. It is hard to stop committing crimes if we hang out with criminals. If we want to make changes in our lives, we have to be willing to do whatever it takes to make those changes. This includes no longer hanging out with our old playmates and beginning to hang out with new ones. Aerosmith, in their song Amazing, say it best, “I kept the right ones out, and let the wrong ones in.”

Do not get me wrong. I still have friends from my past who are in my life and others who are not. There are some things I will not be around. I do not hang out with criminals, nor do I hang out with people who are doing drugs. I do not run around with people who break the law either. I believe in self-determination. I have found out that I cannot change my friends, just as other people could not change me while I was still active in my addiction. I have found the best way to be there for those types of friends is for me to live my life right.

That said, there are people from my past that I'm still friends with. For example, look at the people that I used to be friends with when I was an alcoholic. Many of them still drink. A couple of my best friend still drink, yet I still will go out with them. I will meet them for dinner and a movie. After the movie is over, I will go home and they will go to the bar. I feel that one of the best ways we can minister to others is by still being their friends. That does not mean that we put ourselves in danger situations, but that we still are friends with them.

So where do I find new playmates, you may be asking yourself. There are 12 step recovery groups (Alcoholic's Anonymous, Narcotic's Anonymous, Celebrate Recovery, Living Free), church groups, community support groups, therapy groups and even online support groups. These kinds of groups are important for several reasons. For starters, we have a chance to be around people who know where we have been and can relate to us. This generally stops people from being judgmental. Secondly, we get to be around people who will share with us their strength, experience and hope. Finally, we get to learn new behaviors by people who actually exhibit them.

Proverbs 27:17," as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

When I began to hold myself accountable, I also needed to be around others who would help me be accountable. It is really difficult for me to make wise choices when I hang out with people who are not making those same choices themselves. If I want to begin a new lifestyle, I need to ensure that I hang out with people who also follow that lifestyle. I have found that the best way to do that is by being around people who were where I want to be. That does not mean when I have outgrown people, that I am no longer their friend. What that does mean is that I am constantly finding new people to become friends with.

I have found a sponsor, who is someone who helped me work through the 12 steps, which I am a huge advocate of when working through difficult issues that we are trying to overcome. I am best helped by someone who has lived through what I am living through. They have the wisdom that I need in order to succeed. 

As you can see, changing our playmates, playgrounds and playthings needs to happen in order to successfully achieve a new way of living. These are major pieces that are an integral part of our recovery puzzle that needs to be completed in order for us to be kept from anything that causes us harm or separates us from God.

Iron Sharpens Iron Part 1- Change your Playgrounds

There are multiple things that are talked about that will allow you to make positive lifestyle changes. Some of the most important things that they talk about are your playmates, playgrounds and playthings. These are three of the major obstacles/barriers that exist in our environment and that keep us from making beneficial changes.

When they refer to playgrounds, they are talking about the places that you frequent. As a substance-abuse counselor, I tell people that they should avoid their old playgrounds. As a Christian, I tell people that they may not want to frequent their old hangouts also. I tell everyone that is making changes that they need to not only be aware of where they partake of their hobbies at but also the hobbies they engage in. The hobbies they engage in are referred to as playthings.

When they mention play things, they're talking about triggers. Triggers are the things in our life that make us think of the habits we are trying to rid ourselves of.

1. If you are trying to work on financial issues, credit cards may be a trigger for you. Cutting up your credit cards may be a good idea for you.

2. If you're an alcoholic, fishing may be a trigger for you. In the future, you may want to only go fishing with sober people who were supportive of your sobriety.

3. If you like to fight or have anger issues, heavy metal concerts and bars may be triggers for you. I know that they were for me. I did not stop going to concerts, instead I switched to worship music. I found that it tends to uplift me and fill me with hope instead of causing anger in me.

4. For those who suffer from depression, isolation may be a trigger for you. It was for me. I came up with an action plan for things to do when I began to isolate which included calling a sponsor and accountability partners. We will discuss those when we get to playmates.

5. What if you're addicted to video games? I found that a good thing to add to my life was reading the Bible, attending small groups, and actually spending time with my wife and my son.

We also need to ensure that we are aware of the places that are dangerous to our overcoming the habits we are trying to change, or our living a Christian lifestyle. If you continue to frequent your old haunts you are putting yourself at risk of once again engaging in behaviors you are trying to stop. Do not give relapse, sin or the devil a foothold in your life. When we frequent places of ill repute that is what we do.

Listed below are a couple examples:

1. If you are an overeater, there may be a bakery that you pass by on our way home from work that he would always stop at. Would it not be wiser to change your route going home than it would be to drive by the bakery every day? Remove your object of temptation.

2. If you have a sexual addiction, why would you ever go to a bar or a club? This is the last place I would ever go to. For starters, the temptation to pick somebody up will always exist there. Most bars and clubs are nothing more than meat markets. Secondly, inebriated people are not that much fun to hang out with if you are sober.

3. I was an alcoholic. I also enjoy playing softball a lot. I always played softball at the fields that had bars at them. When I stopped drinking, I found a league that was played in a park that did not serve alcohol. This was a good idea because if alcohol was not available to me I would not drink. Also because there is no alcohol there, there do not tend to be any fights there like at the fields that serve liquor.

4. I enjoy playing pool and bowling. I am not good at either of them, but I do enjoy them. There are multiple bowling alleys in the town I live in. There are also multiple places that I could play pool at. There is a Christian bowling alley in the town I live in that also has a pool table. Therefore I can play pool and bowl in a place that has no liquor served at it. Once again, if there is no temptation than it is less likely that I will stumble.

Do the above examples make sense? Why would you tempt fate? If I have a box of rattlesnakes, I am not going to stick my hand in there on the off chance that they might not bite me. That is what we do when we frequent places we should not. We basically play Russian roulette with our new lives.

The Bible even supports this. In Proverbs 14:11 it says, “The house of the wicked will be destroyed, but the tent of the upright will flourish." Why would you want to hang out in a house that you know will be destroyed? Would it not be better to hang out in a place that will flourish? I would certainly think so.