Merry Christ-Mas

I am one of those who wishes everyone a merry Christmas. I tend to pronounce it Christ-Mas, not Chris-Mas. My goal is not to offend. I smile and say thank you if someone wishes me a Happy Chanukah, and I would do the same if someone wished me a happy Kwanzaa or asked me to have a great Winter Solstice. They have their beliefs and I have mine. Mine are just different. I feel that mine are of greater import due to the significance of who Jesus Christ was and what He stood for.

This is for all who want to tell me about the pagan origins of Christmas; save your breath. I know Christmas tradition is steeped in Paganism. That is not a news flash to anyone who is slightly educated. It was discovered when conquering people if they could keep some of their rituals they tended to be less likely to revolt. Constantine knew this. He took Pagan celebrations and gave them Christian identities and names.

I also hear that Jesus was not born on the 25th of December. That news is pretty stale, also. It is the date that is used to represent the day he was born. It is not the only commemoration of something that occurred in history celebrated on the wrong day. The United States declared independence on July 2nd of 1776 and the declaration of independence was signed on August 2nd of 1776. It is rumored that the last signature was not added until 1777, yet we celebrate July 4th, 1776 as Independence Day. As good a day as any.

I still feel some hesitation in celebrating Christmas, because of all of the Pagan customs it contains. Trust me, Saint Nick and presents to each other are about as far from the true meaning of Christ's birth as we can get. Then you add mistletoe and we get further and further away from Christianity. Therefore I use December 25th as a day to enjoy the company of loved ones as we celebrate the birth of Christ, not as His actual birthday. The birth of Jesus is such an amazing event for what Christ's birth, life, death and resurrection represent.

Christ's Birth

So what is the significance of Christ's birth. For starters, it showed that God cares about us. He is not some absentee God who created us then left us alone. Instead, He loves us very much. He cared enough about us to send His only begotten son to Earth. He was born to live, suffer and die as a human. He knew the outcome, yet came to fulfill what was written in the Old Testament.

Christ's Life

Christ life was used to prosthelytize about the importance of doing the will of God and believing in Christ. We receive the message of salvation thanks to the life of Christ. Jesus says it best in John 14:6, "I am the way, the truth and the life." Without Christ we do not receive the message of salvation. He let us know that we are not worthy of forgiveness, and that there is nothing we can do to earn it. 

Christ's Death

Jesus was born to die on a cross for our sins. His death was the sacrifice that took the weight of all of our sins, period. The crucifixion of Christ is how grace came into our life. Grace is unmerited favor. It is the death of a perfect man as a sacrifice to wash away the sins in our life. He atoned for our sins and gave us the ability to live for eternity in Heaven.

Christ's Resurrection 

Christ's resurrection is significant for several reasons. First, it shows that Christ is the Son of God. Only God has power over the grave. We also have reason to believe all that Christ said, since He was risen. In 1 Corinthians 15:17 Paul says that if Christ was not resurrected, our faith is in vain and we are still accountable for our sins. Since Christ was resurrected, we now have faith and know that our sins are forgiven.

In closing, the birth of Jesus is important. "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but will have everlasting life," John 3:16. That is a pretty good reason to celebrate!  Jesus birth did not happened on December 25th, but we remember it on that day. It is a day to remember Jesus, and to share our faith with the family and friends we are around during the holidays.

God Bless you, have a very Merry Christ-Mas!!!!

I Killed Jesus

Today I am writing to you about a T-Shirt that I own. I get more looks when I wear this shirt than any other. Today, I had about half a dozen people comment on it and at least 50 people read it then glare at me as they walked past. The problem is they see "I Killed Jesus" written in white and can't read the rest written in gray. This shirt, made by Not of This World (NOTW), is an amazing conversation starter. More than that, it is a statement of truth.

The shirt actually reads, "I killed Jesus & Jesus died to save me ...Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners of whom I am the worst. 1 Tim 1:15" This is one of my favorite versus, written by one of my favorite authors. It is written by Paul, who had something in common with Prince as they were both formerly known as something. Paul was the Christian formerly known as Saul. He had once been the scourge of Christians. He hunted them down, persecuting and killing them for their believes. He was bad news.

Then something happened. You can read about the road to Damascus in Acts Chapter 9. He goes from following Judaism and hunting down Chrsitians as Saul of Tarsus in the first couple of verses to his conversion to Christianity then full circle to a conspiracy by the Jews to kill him. He accepted Christ and traveled all over the country, going from city to city proselytizing. What a change the Holy Spirit makes!

Every time someone comments on the shirt, it tends to go like this. Someone says,"So you killed Jesus, huh?" To  which I reply, "Yes I did. Jesus died to forgive us of our sins and I am a sinner. So are you. If not for our sins Christ would never have had to die. He died because of us." To which most walk off after saying something monumentally profound, such as "Well that makes sense."

The truth is Christ's crucifixion is the greatest thing that ever happened to man, and yet the worst thing man has ever done. It is the definition of the Taoist Yin Yang, an equality of good and evil. Christ died so that our sins could be forgiven, a one time sacrifice that changed the outcome of our lives. That death gave us grace, unmerited favor for while we were still sinners Christ died for us. Yet killing the only perfect person who had ever lived, the son of God and son of man.......that is a pretty bad deal on our part.

Yes, Christ died willingly. Yes, it was actually the Romans that killed Him based on the request of the Jews. But He came here to die for a reason. He came here to die for our sins. If we do not sin, He never has to be the sacrificial lamb who was slaughtered. Since He died for our sins, by proxy we killed Him.

So did I kill Jesus? Yes, we all did. Romans 3:23 tells us that, "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Not just me, not just you but everybody! He died for us all, so that we could one day know eternal life. Now I want to give you something to think on. This is food for thought for today, and I want you to really think about it today as you chew on it. I know that it really struck me today when I thought about it.

When Christ died, it was to not only redeem us but to remove us from the bondage of sin. When we come to Christ, we are healed. Sin is a sickness, and the wage of sin is death (Romans 6:23). With his own life Christ paid that debt for us. BUT every time we sin we drive another nail into Jesus. We kill Jesus over and over again every day. When is enough enough?

So I only have one question for you today: Hasn't Jesus suffered enough?

Holman QuickSource Guide to Christian Apologetics Chapter 1 - What is Apologetics?

For this series we will be looking at Holman QuickSource Guide to Christian Apologetics by Doug Powell. Each week we will examine a chapter of the book and look at what I have learned. My hope is that you will receive a little education and at the same time want to learn more. That thirst for knowledge will lead you to purchasing not only this book, but many more and through studying them and the Bible you will become an Apologist. That is my hope!

You may be wondering what is an Apologist. An apologist is one who delivers a defense. A Christian Apologist is one who delivers a defense of Christianity through Apologetics. What is Apologetics? That is the question of Chapter 1, which tackles that very question. 

Imagine you are in an emergency room seriously ill. The doctor says that unless you get the right antidote, it is always fatal. He than says that all who receive the antidote have a perfect recovery. Perhaps you do not like to take pills or get shots. Your preference is not relevant. The doctor is telling you that the sickness you have only has one remedy and only one way to administer said remedy. Your only choice is whether you live or die, based on your answer to the doctor.

Being misdiagnosed here is deadly. Getting the wrong medication is fatal. Not liking the treatment is not going to change anything. I had a colonoscopy because they I was having some internal issues. It was painful, inconvenient and quite offensive. That said, it was what I needed. Just because it was uncomfortable and drinking the stuff the day before was a huge inconvenience made it no less necessary. 

Christianity is an antidote if it is properly understood. It is not a life style choice or a religious view, but an antidote. It may be inconvenient, socially unacceptable, offensive and even painful at times. But above all if these, it is necessary. Whether you choose to believe it or not, the truth is the truth. You do not have to believe it to make it true. That is why we need to gain an understanding of the situation to understand the antidote's necessity. Doug says, "Jesus is not a cherry flavored cough syrup that works just as well as the lemon flavored Buddha. Belief in Jesus is an extremely invasive heart procedure that brings people to life. And it is the only procedure that will work."

As humans, we have trouble sometimes going to the emergency room. We may have misconceptions, barriers, biases, preconceived notions and objections. "It is the goal of Christian apologetics to remove the hindrances that stand between a person and the cross of Christ." Apologetics is seen by some as pre-evangelism preparing the soil for the gospel and others see it as deeply entwined with the gospel. Regardless of how it is seen, apologetics is a great way to equip the Christian with the tools to answer the tough questions about Christianity. Listed below are a few assumptions you can argue with apologetics:

1. Jesus never lived.
2. Miracles don't exist.
3. There is no proof Jesus was resurrected.
4. Why were books left out of the Bible?
5. Christianity is not reasonable.
6. All religions basically teach the same things.
7. If God is love how can He allow evil?

These are several of the myriad of assumptions and arguments that apologetics will equip you to answer. There are two things that need to be clear about apologetics. First, the goal is not to win at all costs. It is possible to win yet lose by behaving badly. We are to speak truth yet speak it with love. Second, the Holy Spirit saves people, not us. We are to bear witness. The Spirit can then use our witness to open the mind and heart of those who listen. 

To begin our apologetics training, we start by making no assumptions. We can't even talk about Christianity yet. We must first be able to PROVE the existence of God. If we can prove God exists, then we can begin to see which religion has the most accurate description of Him. That is where we will pick up next.  

Lesson from the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting

Imagine dropping your child off at school, then getting a phone call an hour later that there has been a massive shooting at your child's school. When you get there, you are kept on the outside by the police with no idea whether your child is alive or not. You have to wait, knowing there are casualties but not knowing who they are.

I hope that this scenario seems like a nightmare that could never come true in our country. For parents who had Kindergarten through 4th grade students at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut that nightmare was their reality today. It was all over the news. How did you react when you heard about it?

I was left tearful and speechless when I heard. I wanted to grab my 5 year old son out of school just to love on him. The only thing that stopped me was his perfect attendance. Instead, I waited until school was over and picked him up from school instead him ride the bus. It was not even my night to have him, but I had to see him. I just wanted to hug his neck because I could, and I thought of those who couldn't.

There were 20 children killed plus 7 adults and the shooter, 28 dead. That is a lot of parents that will never get to hug on their kids necks again. Ever. Siblings and friends that will never get to play again, children that will never see their parent again. The tragedy goes beyond what we expect to have happen here in America.

I have heard police talk abaout how hard it is for them to cope mentally and emotionally after a call where one child is killed that they do not know. Imagine a call where there are multiple children killed, that you do know. That is unconscionable when you look at the big picture. All the people who are affected: friends, siblings, relatives, parents, teachers, significant others, police.

Everybody is affected. Even those who are not related, who don't know the victims of this tragedy and who did not see the carnage. Everybody! Because of that we should be spending time with our loved ones. We should be taking time to talk to our kids who may have heard about this, or who surely will. Prayers for those who were impacted are needed. In all reality there are a lot of things that we should be doing.

Yet it seems that some are just using this as an excuse to hop on their bandwagon. Whether that bandwagon is gun control, conceal and carry allowed by teachers in schools or putting God back in school they are hopping up on it. The media is just as guilty; interviewing children between the ages of 5-10 and people in tears leaving the school after the tragedy. Give it a rest for at least a day or two. Not cool, way too soon everybody!

I think part of the problem is that we have become desensitized to violence and tragedy. It happens so often that some of us are becoming numb to it. I am not. I am still in shock, so glad that it didn't happen to me or anyone that I know yet mortified that it happened at all. I am totally at a loss as to how anyone could do this to children.

I am glad that I don't understand. If there comes a time that I understand or am not struck speechless and tearful by senseless violence, I will know that I am in trouble. For now, I will enjoy time with my loved ones, hug and kiss on them and pray a lot.

If you want to help, pray for those who were impacted today by the tragedies that they have strength and find some sort of comfort in their loved ones. Let loved ones know that it is okay to be mad, sad, confused and glad. Focus on what you do have, and be grateful.

Most importantly, make sure to tell the people you care about that you love them and then show it every single day. After all, you never know when the last time you will see someone is. You never get a second chance to make a last impression.

Newtown Elementary School Shooting and Me

I heard a news story today that broke my heart. After hearing it all I want to do is go get my son out of school and love on him. My son is a kindergartener, and this story struck too close to home. Today in Newtown, Connecticut there were at least 27 people killed, 18 of them children and the shooting was mostly done in a kindergarten class.

I heard it, and my mind immediately went to my son. Then I thought about the parents, and I cried. I could not imagine standing outside of the school, not being let in by the police yet not knowing whether or not your child is alive. What a nightmare.

I cannot imagine the pain the teachers, administrators, students, parents, siblings, friends and families are going through. The pain has only began for them. There will be counseling, nightmares, flashbacks and going through the stages of grief and loss.

There is a long road a head for a lot of people, and my thoughts and prayers are with all who are involved. Unexpected loss is the worst kind and there could be none worse than losing children. My heart breaks and I am left to do nothing but pray.

I have already heard people say it would not have happened if we had better gun control. Someone else said it was because we don't allow teachers to carry guns in school. I saw someone say it is because we don't have God in school. It is a shame, to see people using this tragedy already to push their agendas. Before it is all said and done I am sure it will somehow be Obamas fault.

This is not what we should be doing. That said, I don't know what to do. You never know when the last time you will see a loved one is. Right now, I am leaving to go and pick up my son early. I have to see him right now.

Cursing is the Coolest!!

The Bible says that faith without works is dead (James 2:26). In Colossians 4:5 we are told to "be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity." So it is obvious that how we treat others and what we do are very important. I agree with this whole-heartedly. Yet there are many professing to be Christians who may have the works and actions, but the way they speak is horrible. Unlike some, God sees EVERYTHING you do and hears EVERYTHING you say!


Colossians 4:6 says, "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Colossians 3:8 says that we, "must put away obscene talk from your mouth." Matthew 15:10-11 says that it is not what goes in our mouths but what comes out that defiles us, Ephesians 5:4 tells us there is to be no filthiness or crude talking while James 3:10 tells us that blessing and cursing should not come from the same mouth because that defiles the person.

Jesus tells us in Matthew 12:36-37 that we will have to give account for every empty word we have spoken and that by our words we will be acquitted and by our words we will be condemned. It sounds like our words are of the utmost importance, yet I continue to hear sentences I should never hear.

"I got my (insert other word for butt) baptised on Sunday," "I love church. That (insert the S word for feces) is the bomb" and "I'm a GD Christian" are all sentences that I have heard in the last week at work. When the F-bomb and Christ are used in the same sentence by someone professing to be Christian..........Houston, we have a problem!

So what is the cure?

1. Pray for forgiveness of past cursing and that your words be anointed each and every day
2. Be vigilant of the music you listen to and the movies/television shows you watch
3. Take time to be in the company of people who build you up and are positive
4. Get an accountability partner and use their support to help you

Honestly, I wish that we would stop sounding and acting like the rest of the world. No offense to anyone, but why would they want to check us out if we are exactly the same as they are? There are several problems.

1. We don't spend daily time praying and reading the Bible.
2. We don't feel that what was said 2,000 years ago applies today.
3. We want so badly to be accepted and fit in with everyone else. Remember: IN IT NOT OF IT!

So how do we combat social norms? By not conforming to them, by being salt and light. We are not sent here to judge the world, but to build up our brothers and build up our own faith. Here is how I have done that:

I do not hate on people when they curse. After all, a lot of my clients speak like the F-bomb is the only word they know. I rarely mention it to my clients unless it is gratitious and we are in group, yet they have made changes in the way they speak. As they have seen that I do not curse I have gained their respect. They curse less around me and often apologize to me if they do. Never forget the impact we can have on those around us by not only our actions but also by our words!

A Day at Silver Dollar City City

So I went to Silver Dollar City (SDC) with the family yesterday after DJ’s basketball trophy presentation. It was a beautiful day to go to SDC. It is December and still in the 60’s. Unfortunately, I was not
the only one who had the idea to go. The traffic there was insane and so were the lines. And I do mean insane!

What normally takes me 45 minutes to drive took 2 ½ hours. We did have some great family conversation on the way there, though. DJ practiced his songs for the upcoming Christmas concert at Praise Assembly. We sat in crazy lines of traffic, though. I have learned to just laugh and realize that there is nothing I can do about it but get mad or be glad. I have learned to be glad, mostly.

Others have not been so fortunate. I saw a truck from Louisiana with several bumper stickers on it that contained Bible verses and said Christ Saves flipping people off after rolling down his window. I also
saw people cutting others off, running red lights and driving on the shoulder. Traffic definitely brings out the worst in people.

Thankfully I was with family and enjoying myself. Then we got to SDC and it was just as crazy. I fully believe that is the busiest I have ever seen it. We headed straight to the Powder Keg, which is a roller
coaster that shoots you out and accelerates you from 0 - 53  in 2.8 seconds. My son got to sit in the very front for the first time. He loved it. I loved what I saw while we were standing in line.

There were two teenage girls standing in front of us and a young girl (4-6) and her dad behind us. The girl we will talk about was wearing a Christian tshirt and a sock monkey hat.. She and her friend were
talking and the little girl started talking to her dad about the sock monkey hat. Her dad told her to tell the girl she liked her hat. She took a couple of steps forward and nervously said, “I really like your
hat. I have a lot of sock monkey stuff at home.”

The teenager took off her hat, handed it to the little girl and told her she could keep it. “I have another one at home.” The dad offered money, which was refused. What a cool thing to see. It even impressed
my son. “Wow, dad. I can’t believe she just gave her that hat. She was really nice.” They boarded and the father commented to me how nice it was to see a teenager being that nice. “It is really rare anymore.”

We rode the roller coaster, ate, played in the kid’s area, watched the Frosty the Snowman show then stood in line awaiting the parade. As we were waiting I saw the guy in front of me was wearing a Celebrate Recovery backpack. I told him I liked his backpack and we proceeded to have a conversation. He was from Little Rock where he was in CR, had seven years in recovery, and professed to CR savin g his marriage and his life.

Next he introduced me to his CR pastor, who was there with him.  I shared a two minute synopsis of my story with them. We watched the parade, shook hands and acknowledged how nice it was to meet each
other and went about our merry way. It took us forever to get out, and my mind kept recalling the two people I had the pleasure of meeting over the course of the day.

As we were leaving my son saw the teenage girl again. He said, “Daddy, there is that big girl that was really nice and gave that little girl her hat. I want to do that when I get bigger.” Positive example was
downloaded into my son’s brain and I didn’t even have to set it. So thankful for some of the single serving people that come into our lives.

In closing, I had a fun day that was made even better by people representing what they wore. There was also another reminding me that if we profess it we better represent it, even if traffic sucks. How many people are drawn to Christ when we do good deeds and repelled when we are mean. Whether we see them or not, people are impacted by the things you do, be they good or bad!

The 5 Pillars

Today I would like to introduce you to the 5 Pillars. They are the 5 things that are of vital importance to us if we are to live our lives as Christians and continue to grow. As a recovery counselor, I use the 5 Pillars with all of my clients, whether they are struggling with eating disorders, drugs, alcohol, codependency, depression, grief and loss or just feel stagnant.

Church is not listed. That said, church is vital and needed. Most who profess to be Christians go to church. The 5 Pillars are what we need in order to gain a true relationship with Christ, to have a Christ-like walk. A pastor once said, "Sitting in church no more makes you a Christian than me standing in my garage makes me a car." Obviously, church is not enough. We need the 5 Pillare as these pillars allow us to continue the transformation that church starts but cannot complete.

The first pillar is the most important one of all, God. Without God in my life, how can I possibly have any hope? Changing my life takes both hope and faith. If this life and this world are all that there is, it can be a really depressing place. Thankfully, I know that there is so much more and that is what has given me the strength to go on no matter what happens today. I am eternally optimistic because I know that in the end I have an eternity with God promised to me.

Christ states that we are to love God with all of our hearts, minds, strength and (Luke 10:27, Matthew  22:37, Mark 12:30). Never forget that your relationship with God affects every aspect of your life. I know that if I put God first it makes me a better husband, father, employee, friend and even a better enemy. Never forget to pray for that relationship, "Today, make me like Christ. Please insure I live today less for me and more for You. Let me be your hands and feet to all those I come in contact with today. Please allow me to be salt and light to all those who see and hear me today."

The second pillar is a mentor. I need to have someone who is living their lives better than me, who is living their life as I want to live mine. They may be sober and I am trying to be sober. They may have lost a loved one as I have and worked through it. Maybe they just have the walk with Christ that I want to someday have. By letting them mentor and coach me, I can begin to improve the quality of my life and build a stronger faith.

Proverbs 11:14 tells us "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but where there is an abundance of counselors there is safety." That means that in order to succeed we need more than one mentor. I would suggest several. You may have one who counsels you with your marriage, another with emotional struggles and another who who is more Biblically knowledgeable than you. 

The third pillar is living Biblically. Through reading, meditating on what I have read and the guidance of my sponsor I will have the ability to learn the Bible better. What I get out of this is better ways to live my life. Read the gospels written by the disciples and the letters written by Paul. Immerse yourself in the book of James and use them as blue prints for how to live your life. If you can model your life on what James writes, you will be living amazingly.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, "All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." I have nothing to add to that, it speaks for itself!

The fourth pillar is small groups. These are places where we will further get our faith built. I can be in a group of people who have the same belief system and values that I have. We have common features. There are study, Bible, youth, single adult, couples, single mom, over 40, recovery and support groups to name a few.  We can use these groups as ways to continue coping with all that this world has to throw at us and continue growing spiritually, emotionally, scripturally and socially.

Church is about us listening and learning. We may be in a room with 50 people or 5,000 depending on the size of your church. Small groups put us in smaller groups where we can begin to build relationships with people. We can also ask questions and get answers in small groups. Hands on participation is much better at causing behaviors and attitudes to change than the lecture format found in church. Plus, you can blend in and hide in church. You can't in small groups.

The fifth pillar is accountability partners. These are the people we surround ourselves with on purpose. I may not be able to choose who I work or learn beside, but I can choose which table I sit at during lunch and who I hang out with after I get out of school and/or work. I need to surround myself with positive people who have goals and are actually doing positive things with their lives. Not that I am not there for those who are struggling, but I need people that can help me when I am struggling also.

If bad association spoils useful habits (1 Corinthians 15:33) than positive association should grow them. Ecclesiastes 4:9,12 says, "Two are better than one, though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Bottom line, there is strength in numbers and it is easier to make the right choice when you associate with people who make the right choice.

Prayer and meditation are kind of like church. I don't feel like I should have to tell you to do them, but I will. Prayer is a constant conversation with God. I start each morning with an hour at the gym. I lift weights for 30 minutes than do 30 minutes of cardio. I pray the entire time I do cardio, and that is why I start each day in a good mood. From there I continue to pray throughout the day. Most of my prayers are of gratitude for all that I have. Then I pray for those in need or who are having struggles. I also pray for understanding of the things I read, such as the Bible and other spiritual and apologetic texts.

In closing, here is the short cliff note version.

The 5 Pillars

1. God
2. Bible
3. Mentor
4. Small Groups
5. Accountability Partners.........and pray without ceasing all day every day!!!!!!!!!



BLiR Strategy Meeting: State of Affairs for 2012

We had the final meeting of the year for Better Life in Recovery. We had a good year this year, considering we are not even technically a non-profit yet. Here are some of the things that were done this year:

1. Led chapel at Global University by sharing testimony and hope found in recovery
2. Led chapel at Assembly of God Theological School by sharing testimony and hope found in recovery
3. Spoke to a couple of church youth groups on the dangers of addiction and the power of recovery
4. Spoke at a couple of Celebrate Recovery groups
5. Spoke at Life Fellowship Church in Springfield about how we can live our lives addiction free
6. Filmed 4 more people that will be featured on the documentary, Better Life in Recovery
7. Our logo was created thanks to IFLE Creative
8. Purchased the website www.betterlifeinrecovery.org and it is currently under construction. We have a current bare bones website found at www.betterlifeinrecovery.com
9. The very first BLiR Event was held to talk to Ash Grove's youth and the people who love them. Here is the video made from the event:

We have many goals that are still not accomplished that were discussed at the meeting we just had. Here are the immediate needs and goals:

1. Working on the non-profit paperwork for Better Life in Recovery over Christmas and would like input/guidance on it.
2. Coming up with the non-profit filing fee of either $400 or $850 (depends on budget)
3. Complete finding board members WHO SHARE OUR PASSION
4. Find at least 50 things to sell at Silent Auction
5. Holding a $25 per plate fundraiser in Springfield with a Silent Auction to help us get a bigger name band in for the end of Summer BLiR event
6. Begin organizing for the BLiR event at New Life Church to be held during Spring Break
7. Finish www.betterlifeinrecovery.org website
8. Do a KickStarter to help fund the documentary
9. Complete filming and editing on the documentary
10. Screen documentary 
11. Create pre and post tests to see if attitudes on drug use change
12. Take documentary into area schools 
13. Find band then venue for an end of summer Springfield BLiR event
14. Fundraising, fundraising and more fundraising
15. Speaking at least once a month in the community 

So, we have multiple needs that are to be met in the coming year. If you can help us out with any of the above things please contact us and let us know how you can help.

We talk to communities, organizations, seminars, colleges, schools and churches about the struggles we all have, the allure of addictions, where they can lead and the positive things we can do instead of succumbing to temptations.  If you would like us to come and speak please contact us. We would love to come out.

Does God Really Love You Unconditionally?

This was a post on Facebook from one of my friends, Ralph Gray. 

One of the biggest lies ever told to us is "God loves you unconditionally".

Is this true?
Let's see.
"If you love Me, you WILL keep My commandments" John 14:15 emphasis mine.
"He who has My commandment and KEEPS them, he it is who loves Me; and he who Loves Me, shall be loved by My Father,and I will love him, and will disclose Myself to him." John 14:21 emphasis mine.
"You are My friends, IF you do what I command you." John 15:14 emphasis mine.
Jesus' love is very much conditional.
"The one who say ,'I have come to know him' and does not KEEP His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him" 1 John 2:4 emphasis mine.
Do you have the truth in you?

We get so self centered when we say "Jesus loves me."
Me, Me,Me its always all about me.
If you serve the unholy trinity of me, myself and I. 
You do not love God.
If you refuse to condemn sin and parrot "judge not". 
You do not love God.
If you do not have a humble and repentant heart.
You do not love God.
If you refuse to love your neighbor and your personal enemies.
You do not love God.
If you parrot the line "The law was nailed to the cross" and continue in sin.
You do not love God.
If you refuse to have HIS will on earth as the the Lord's prayer commands.
You do not love God.
If you haven't obeyed the command to be baptized for the forgiveness of sins in the name of Jesus. 
You do not love God.
These are all commandments of the Lord!
If you refuse to keep His commandments you do not love Him and According to His holy Word He won't love you.
What is sin?
Transgression of His law/ commandments. 1 John 3:4

Do not become one of those in Matthew 7:22-23 "Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?' " And I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.'. Emphasis not mine but the Lords.
If you want Jesus to love you keep His commandments.
Make it all about Him, Him, Him. Not me,me,me.
The good news is you can repent of this. Humble yourself and obey Acts 2:38, Mark 16:16 and the many, many other commands to be baptized for the forgiveness of sins .
If you repent He will love you and forgive you and know you.

"And why now do you delay? Arise, and be baptized, and wash away your sins, calling on His name" Acts 22:16

I would only add this:
A lot of people have dead faith and no works. Works do not earn us salvation, grace which is unmerited favor shown to us by God through the crucifixion of Christ gave us an opportunity to gain salvation. That said, works are the EVIDENCE of salvation. If you do not have works, you do not have salvation. Too often we hear "God loves you as you are" without hearing that God also expects us to change. 

I loved my son when he could not even roll over, but I expected him to learn how to crawl, then walk and eventually be able to run. I would not have accepted anything less out of him because I know he is capable. God knows we are capable and because of that expects more from us. So, we need to do more. We need to not stop asking God what He can do for us but instead ask ourselves what more we can do for Him.

From Shack to Temple Weight Loss Wednesday Thanksgiving left me Thankful

Thanksgiving is a traditional holiday about.....................EATING!! More so than any holiday, it is about getting together with family and eating. Christmas is about eating, but it is also about presents (It should be about Jesus but a lot of people have taken Jesus out of the equation unfortutunately). The 4th of July is about eating (mmmmmmmm, BBQ!!), but it is also about fireworks. Thanksgiving is about eating, and more eating while watching football then snacking on leftovers while talking and playing cards/board games with family. Eating, eating and more eating!! Not a good time for dieters.

I generally have gained about 5 pounds during the holiday, especially since I have began going to Arkansas to hang out with my wife's family there for multiple days. This year was no different in one of those respects. I went to Searcy with my family for Thanksgiving for several days. I ate, and I did not eat Paleo for a couple of days. It didn't kill me, because I controlled it.

What I did do was eat the things that I wanted to, just like I always do. But there were some major differences from the usual:

1. I took a smaller piece than I normally would have. Think an 1/8 of the pie and not 1/4 of it!
2. I chewed more and savored the food. I didn't just swallow and shovel, but chewed and enjoyed.
3. I ate more salads and vegetables than I ever have before and skimped on the starchy foods.
4. I talked in between bites, instead of just shoving massive spoonful after massive spoonful into my mouth.
5. I did not snack on the unhealthiest things there. I would snack on white turkey meat instead of chips and dip.
6. I drank mostly water and limited the tea and soda and when I drank tea it was unsweet.
7. I took time and went outside and played football with my son instead of being sedentary the entire time.

These tips allowed me to accomplish what I did over the last two weeks. I didn't gain 5 pounds. In fact, I lost 2.6 pounds. That is not a lot, but it is better than any Thanksgiving in my past. How did you fare this Thanksgiving?

Occam's Razor and My Faith

So, there was a guy named William of Ockham that was a philosopher about 800 years ago. He posited that the easiest explanation was the correct one. This became known as Occam's Razor. That is the term that now describes Occam's philosphy.  So, what does Occam's Razor have to do with my faith? Everything!

First, let us look at creation of human life. I believe that there is an eternal, all-knowing, all-powerful God who created the entire universe and saw it fit to take the time to create humans. That only requires one leap of faith, one supposition and humans are explained.

1. GOD

If I believe in evolution, I probably also believe in the Big Bang. So, I first have to believe that an uncaused cause was behind the big bang (I think that some of us know who banged it, we know the cause). Then I have to believe that all I see, the billions upon billions of planets and stars all came from an immensely dense and hot singularity that just happened to exist for the Big Bang (or expansion) to occur from. Next I have to believe that the sun was just perfect: the right temperature and distance from Earth. Then the moon was put perfectly in orbit around the Earth and the Earth had just the right atmosphere to support the transformation of non-living matter into living matter, which has never been observed. Then another never observed process called macro-evolution occurred. Not just once, but millions of times in order to create humans.

1. Densely hot singularity
2. Uncaused Cause
3. Big Bang
4. Order and Structure from chaos
5. Sun perfect temperature and distance from Earth to support life
6. Moon perfect distance from Earth to support life
7. Atmosphere on Earth perfect to support life
8. Non-living matter somehow evolved in to living matter
9. Millions of instances of macro-evolution

That list above is a really short list, too. There are actually so many more things we could talk about, such as the complexity of the human genome with it's 3-6 billion pairs of DNA and how they all have to be perfectly placed in sequence. Then there are 35 parameters that make life possible as well as the 66 parameters that influence the sun-planet-moon system that cannot fluctuate an nth of a degree without causing the entire system to collapse. We have barely dipped into those above. But, we will not go any more indepth. Instead I will tell you that Occam's Razor has been able to help strengthen my faith, because in the end God is the easiest explanation there is and therefore the correct one. Now here's some Dilbert:

Accountability Partners Drop Like Flies

I have been having no luck lately with accountability partners. They seem to come and go, going more often than they are coming around. I have witnessed several of them relapse and others get caught up in what I would not consider to be the most appropriate behavior. Some of it risky behavior and other times it is downright unChrist-like.

My accountability partners have claimed to follow Christ, but then have done things that they felt the need to justify. "God asks too much from me" and "I am pretty sure God wouldn't care." I know that God doesn't expect us to be perfect, but we have to make changes in how we live our lives. After all, "You can't put new wine into old wineskins." In other words, we can't live for Christ if we continue to engage in old behaviors and keep the same playgrounds and playmates.

So, my former accountability partners have reached the point that they are tired of giving their all for Christ.  It is funny how we feel that God asks too much from us. God sent Jesus, His only begotten son, to die for all our sins. We received the ultimate blood sacrifice in the form of a crucified Christ on Golgotha after a  walk of shame spit on and cursed at which preceded the flogging that ripped flesh from Christ's body. But, God asks too much from us???

We looked at Abraham last week in church. Abraham was told to leave his family and friends, to leave the very country he lived in, all on the command of God. Then he was led by God to circumcise himself at the age of 99. Furthermore,  Abraham is a man who wanted a son. After his wife finally gives birth to Isaac when he is 100 God commands him to go to a place he shows him in a vision and offer up his son as a sacrifice to God.

Look at all that Abraham went through, and all we are asked to do is live in moderation. Don't do things that could cause your brother to stumble. Love people, be they Gay or straight, white or black, Liberal or Conservative. But that is asking too much. I would rather write on Facebook about how only idiots voted for ____________(fill in with name of the candidate you didn't support).

Other great excuses:

1. "It's just a beer. It's legal." If you feel that maybe you shouldn't drink it, maybe you shouldn't! Any time you feel the need to justify doing something that is a great indicator you shouldn't do it.
2. "It's only weed. God made it." He made poppies too, and I would never advocate doing heroin. 
3. "It's just a couple of cookies." An couple of cookies does not constitute an entire box.
4. "God wouldn't expect me to die a virgin." That is what marriage is for.
5. "Everyone else is doing it." We are called to be salt and light. We are in this world, not of this world. 
6. "50 Shades of Grey is a book. It's not like I'm watching a porn." No, you are reading one. Saying you read it for the love story is like saying you watch pornography for the acting or buy Playboy for the articles!
7. "It is easier for us to live together and not get married financially." If you are doing the right thing and living your life the right way, God will provide for your needs. Maybe not your wants, but your needs.

The truth is, stop making excuses to live your life wrong and start making excuses to live your life right. We need to lead stellar lives. I pray multiple times daily that God make me like Jesus, let me be His hands and feet and act as salt and light to all of those I come in contact with. We are not called to be ordinary, but extraordinary. I don't want you to be good Christians, I want you to be great Christians. That requires living as Christ did. 

I would be willing to be be that Christ didn't get drunk or smoke weed. He also never would have read 50 Shades of Grey or had premarital sex. And as for fitting in and blending with popular culture, Christ did everything but that! To quote Ezekiel Azonwu, "An almost Christian looks right but lives wrong. Can't stand the conviction in Romans so they sit down to be comforted in Psalms."

God calls you as you are, but expects you to change. Works are not what earn you salvation, they are the evidence of salvation. Does how you live your life show that you are saved? 

From Shack to Temple Weight Loss Wednesday Paleo Rocks!!

I have discovered something over the past two weeks. Eating paleo/primal/cave man is two things: expensive and awesome!! I have managed to lose 8 pounds over the past two weeks (242 to 234) and I have got to eat..........a lot. I don't have to skimp on serving size and count calories. That may change as I progress, but only time will tell. I want to lose a bunch of weight and I am already almost 20% there. How amazing is that after only two weeks.


BlueBerry Nut Balls



I have had urges and temptations galore. I walk into our break room some mornings to a couple dozen Krispy Kremes sitting on the table. The next afternoon I walk in to several boxes of Oreo Double Stuffs. There has been left over wedding cake from the weekend before as well as our kitchen making amazing smelling things: fresh bread, cinnamon bread with icing, cashew chicken, fried chicken, etc. Some days it is rough, but I have so far avoided temptation. 

I have found ways to do that. I have nuts and fruit with me at all times. I have a recipe for blueberry nut balls that is good. It is macadamia and walnuts, coconut oil, unsweetened coconut, dates and blueberries and it sates my sweet tooth. Over the weekend I made pumpkin chocolate chip cookies with cacao nibs, pure maple syrup, cinnamon, organic pumpkin, nutmeg, coconut flour, butter from grass fed cows, pure vanilla extract, cloves, ginger and sea salt. It was a special treat, but they were amazing!

Main dishes have been salmon, top sirloin, pork tenderloin, tilapia, shrimp and chicken breast. Lots of eggs and uncured bacon and ham as well as vegetables out the wazoo. I don't think I have ever eaten this many vegetables in my life. And I like it. Then I have occasional sweet potatoes and sweet potato baked fries, tons of water with an occasional squeezed lemon and various decaffeinated hot teas. Good Earth Sweet and Spicy hot tea is my favorite by far! 



I realized how dependent I had become on caffeine. It took me over a week to have energy after 9ish in the morning. I would get up at 4, go to the gym and workout, come home to make my wife and I scrambles then go to work. An hour or two into my work day I would be physically and mentally exhausted. That has passed, thank God!

What I have discovered so far is that as long as I am eating foods that I enjoy and adding some variety I am fine. I do not constantly miss the foods that I used to eat. There are times when I have sweet cravings, and those need to be tackled as soon as possible. I can't cheat, because I have no self-control when I do. Instead, I use a mixture of cacao nibs, unsweetened shredded coconut and a variety of nuts mixed together. Fruit has saved my butt also.

Add that to the exercise I am getting everyday and the 30 minutes of prayer my day starts with and I am feeling better than I have in a long time. Will talk to you in two weeks and keep you updated on how my fight against food is going. Right now, I am winning and that is awesome.

Here are some of the pictures of the treats I have created with my wife and enjoyed eating over the past two weeks:



Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies







Paleo Pulled Pork





Top Sirloin, Sweet Potato Fried, Bacon Wrapped Shrimp, Salad

My Daily Scamble Ingredients Just Add Eggs





Apple Cinnamon Pork Tenderloin

What I Am Thankful For

I have seen a lot of people on Facebook, doing a daily list of the things they are thankful for this month. I am certain this is happening because this month contains Thanksgiving. Well, that and I have an almost Sherlock Holmes level of intuition. I have decided to do my list all at once and make it a post that everyone can read. If you have a list I would love for you to share it with me. I am also certain that I have forgotten a lot of thing, since I can only do one per day of the month.

1. God - For without Him we would not be here. To create all that we see and still have taken the time to ensure that the sun was the exact temperature it needed to be, the Earth was placed the perfect distance away from the sun, the moon was placed in orbit around Earth perfectly and that the atmosphere on Earth was exactly right to allow life to be supported is amazing. Then, out of all of the billions of people who have lived, He saw fit to create my mom and dad and then me is nothing short of miraculous. Finally, to use a police car and Brandon Heath's song, "I'm Not Who I Was" to lead me to sobriety. Wow! Thank you, God!
2. Jesus - For without the blood sacrifice made by Him, my life would be lived for naught. Through Jesus we have been forgiven for all of our sins. That He would be the sacrifice and suffer the ultimate death for them goes beyond words when trying to express my thanks!
3. Holy Spirit - Without it to guide and comfort me in times of stress, depression, anger, thoughts of relapse, etc, I do not know if I would still be clean and sober.
4. Grace - Unmerited favor...........basically, that which I do not deserve. God has somehow deemed me worthy of his blessing though I did nothing to receive it and could never do enough to earn it.
5. Prayer - Since I started doing a half hour of prayer two weeks ago I have had several people at work tell me that I seemed less stressed and anxious. It is amazing how beneficial prayer is to me, not to mention how it blesses all of the people I pray for!
6. The Bible - How amazing, to have a guide to life that is God-breathed and beneficial in all situations.
7. Paul - Paul was the person in the Bible that really resonated with me. He was the black sheep I could relate to, and his words have led me to have a stronger and stronger relationship with God and more and more confidence that I could turn my life around.
8. James - That James would write a short, perfect plan for how we are to live our lives is awesome!
9. Julie - My wife is such a boon to me. She has lived her life so well and I am so thankful that my children will have her to look up to and learn from. I look up to her and learn from her, and without her support I would be lost. Her mother and step-dad have been a huge help in watching Addison, too!
10. Michal - My sister has always been there to support me, and at times she even enabled me. That said, I know that she was the only person in my life other than my dad that always had hope I could quit my old lifestyle.
11. Dad - It has been a few years, and sometimes when I think of you it still makes me cry. Without your love and guidance, I would not be the father I am today. I will be forever blessed to have had you as my dad!
12. David Jr. - I never knew real love until I saw you. I never knew real pain until I had to look at you in an incubator after you were born. You have been and always will be my mini-me. I will be forever thankful if you learn from my mistakes instead of having to repeat them.
13. Addison Grace - You are the strongest little girl I know. To see you still smiling after going through two surgeries before you were two months old let me know how tenacious you were. I am so thankful that when you get older we will get to go on father/daughter dates and I can show you how a man treats a lady by my relationship with your mother.
14. Mom - You gave birth to me and always tried your best. I could not have made the change from Branson to Springfield if you had not opened your doors to me when I needed it most.
15. My Past - I am so thankful for my past. It has made me who I am and equipped me with the wisdom and strength to help me impart hope to those who struggle with life-consuming issues.
16. Recovery - It has allowed me to rebuild a life of substance on the same foundation a life of chaos once existed on. I have gone from a soldier for Satan to a diplomat for Christ, from dealing dope to dealing hope.
17. The Wessleys and Kearbeys - Without your love and non-judgemental attitudes, I never would have gone to church in the first place. I want to thank Nate and Becca for loving me to Christ and to Becca's mother for being a pit bull for God when we talked. What a beautiful family every one of the Wessleys and Kearbeys I have met has been.
18. New Life Church - If not for the Celebrate Recovery group, the tattoo wall, the casual dress, the awesome music, the great pastoral staff and the loving, nonjudgemental people who go there I would have been one and done with my church experience. Instead, I was met with love and compassion and I kept coming back.
19. Pastor James - If not for your taking the time out of your busy schedule to talk to me about all of my doubts and to use logic and history to make your point, I would never have gotten saved.
20. Pastor Dan - The knowledge that you impart every week to us in service is like mana for me. Not to mention meeting me for lunch and taking time to help me continue to grow in faith.
21. Brandon Heath - Your song I'm Not Who I Was is one of the major causes of me keeping the deal I made with God and transforming my life. Your song Love Never Fails was my wedding song. You have been instrumental in many of the best things that have ever happened to me and now I listen to you for 30 minutes every morning in the background as I pray. Thank you for the music you write and play.
22. Lee Strobel -  I am thankful for you because of your book, The Case For Christ. When I was having struggles with my faith it was your book that Pastor James gave me to read and it answered so many of my questions and doubts.
23. Friends - I may not feel like I have many, but I have a lot. I know that every time I am down or need to hear something there are always people in my life who are there to pick me up and tell me what I need to hear. I hope that my time to spend with you grows.
24. Worship - There is nothing that improves my mood more than worship music. Whether it is LeCrae when I need some beats, Brandon Heath when I pray or all of the people who are on my page Music of Recovery I thank you all because you have played such an imminent role in my recovery and growth as a Christian.
25. Celebrate Recovery - I am thankful that I found a group sans cussing, 13 stepping and filled with positive Christians. There are ups and downs, but the ups are more frequent and I have gotten so much out of the meetings. I truly found recovery in the CR groups
26. Narcotics Anonymous - It was great to go to these at the beginning. I became abstinent while I attended them, but relapses were always on my horizon. I have known many who have found what they needed but as my sobriety grew I moved on. I needed more Christ!
27. Better Life in Recovery - I could not be more blessed than to have an opportunity to share my testimony and other's testimonies in schools, colleges, communities, events and churches. I can only keep what I have by giving it away and there is no better service than sharing the dangers of addiction and the wonders of recovery with our children, young adults as well as their friends and families. 
28. My Readers and Listeners - I would not continue to write blogs, work on my book, do random vlogs and share my testimony if it was not for the encouragement I have received from all of you at one time or another. If you continue to read it, I will continue to write it. 
29. Alternative Opportunities Treatment Services at Carol Jones Recovery Center - It is a blessing to work at a place that cares about the people who are struggling the most in our community and reaches out to give them hope. I have amazingly compassionate coworkers who truly care about the clients we work with. My boss, Mary is one of the most loving, caring, big hearted, compassionate, driven and motivated Type A personalities I have ever met and working for her has taught me a lot.
30. The United States of America - I am so thankful that I live in a country that allows me to worship and speak as I want. I am allowed to bring Christ and recovery to the masses and never once have I worried about the government imprisoning or beating me for doing it. 
31. Heidi and James - I am thankful that I have a good relationship with my son's mom and her husband. It is such a blessing to my son to have his parents get along and be on the same page. I am just as thankful for Heidi's parents, Rick and Betty. Both of them and their spouses are great grandparents and it is so obvious how much they love DJ. 

So this Thanksgiving, I also look forward to reading your thanksgiving lists. It is always a joy to see people show that they appreciate the things they have. I will continue to be thankful for all that I have, and to begin and end every prayer with this, "God, please make me each day more like Jesus. Let me be your hands and feet to all those I come in contact with. Let me be salt and light to those around me, and use me as you see fit. 

The State of America: 4 More Years

The truth is, I am worried for America. Not because O'Bama is president, or that a democrat is president once again. I have seen some people insinuate that America is heading to hell because we elected O'Bama. How dare you! I will address this statement later. What concerns me is that I have never seen our country this polarized. If we are not united, we will fall. Our hate for each other is causing a divide that someone could easily capitalize on. United we stand, divided we fall is true for our country as it has been true for every super power before us.

Atheists and Agnostics, this is for you. I had a friend say that he is content today knowing everything does not count on this fiction called God. He said that science and common sense once again won out over those who believe in unicorns because O'Bama is president. He said that O'Bama won by secular votes because no Christians would vote for him. I have many friends who are Christians that voted for O'Bama (I don't believe they are going to hell). I know that horrifies both the Christians and non-Christians alike, but it is true.

To address the unicorn part, I don't believe in unicorns but I do believe in God. I find it easier to believe in an all powerful God that has always existed than the uncaused cause causing the Big Bang (just saying that is confusing), chaos causing order, life springing from non-living matter and then micro-evolution. It's called Occam's Razor. I find God to be the answer containing the least assumptions.

To Christians, be careful. Your hate is showing. It is okay to say that you are unhappy about the results, but saying, "Everyone who voted for O'Bama is going to Hell," is taking it a bit far. How about realizing that in the end, all things happen for a reason. A long time ago I learned that not all things happen the way we want them to, but they happen the way they are supposed to. God always has been and always will be in control.

Further more, we are to show love to our fellow man, not hate. Empathy not apathy. This election outcome impacts a temporary world, not the eternal Kingdom we should be focused on. If you are feeling hopeless today because of the election's outcome, that is not a political problem. That is a spiritual problem. Remember who is in control. 

I would encourage all to pray for our country, as well as all of the other countries out there. I would encourage you to pray for the leaders on a local, state, national and global level. We are to be salt and light, and I am not seeing that the way I would like to today. We need to be that for people. We are to love our fellow man, not hate on him. So let's start doing that!

The Bible says we should pray for our leaders. Please, join me in praying this day and every day after for the United States and other countries, for Democrats and Republicans, for blacks and whites for the rich and the poor. All people deserve our prayer and love, not our derision and hate.

For those who say, to quote one of my friends, "If you didn't vote then keep your mouth closed you have no right to say anything" I guess I had a little to say. Since my friend was a Christian who said that I will say that my kingdom is not of this world. I have my eyes focused on the eternal. I look forward to that kingdom finally coming. Until then, I will pray for all politicians and all nations to have the wisdom and courage to do what is right. Maybe someday they will.............

Why I Have Chosen Not to Vote

I know that this will anger a lot of people. I am no longer going to be a good American, based on their their beliefs. I will also not have the right to complain, because I didn't vote. After all, I have been reminded often that it is my duty as an American to vote and that you have no right to say anything if you don't vote. In order to be a good citizen, voting is considered to be a requirement. If you want to have an opinion, then voting is a must.

I would wager that there were many great Americans that were unable to vote before the 15th Amendment was passed in the late 1800's. I would also guarantee that there were ladies with very good opinions before the early 1900's, when the 19th Amendment was passed and they gained the right to vote. But, according to some people they could not have been because they didn't vote. That is pure and absolute hogwash. (I know that is not what they are saying, but I am making my point through an example. Sure they couldn't vote, but this is an extreme example.)

So, I have decided that I will not vote in the presidential elections this year. This is done while knowing that it is my duty as a citizen and Christian. Yes, I have also heard that as a good Christian you must vote. I guess that I will be not only a bad American but a bad Christian, too. Although I am unsure what the measurement is for good/bad American and good/bad Christian. If voting is your measurement, than you need a new way to measure. Not judging, I'm just saying.

So, here is why I have chosen not to vote:

1. I am tired of voting against someone and not for them. I should not have to cast a vote to the lesser of two evils. Why can I not have a candidate for president that I truly can stand behind?
2. I do not really agree with the way the candidates are living their lives. If I can not outright support somebodies actions, choices and morals I can not support them. Period.
3. I want a candidate that tells me what he/she will do and not how bad their opponents suck at life. Act like a gentleman and show people some respect! I have never seen so many negative campaign ads in my life.
4. After watching the primaries I have heard most of the parties bash their candidates. I heard it this year for the Republicans and in 2008 for the Democrats. If so many of their own party members were very recently against them, how can I possibly be for them?
5. I want someone who does what they say they will do. I have not seen that from any of the candidates.

I know that voting is a priviledge. I chose not to take advantage of that priviledge. Gun rights are a priviledge, yet I know a lot of people without guns. I guess they are bad Mericans'. I am sure that there are people who would die to have the right to vote. There are also many who would die to have food, yet there is a lot of it allowed to rot or get thrown away over here. That is flawed reasoning.

So, should you vote? That is entirely on you and you alone. You are not any better or any worse than the next guy if you do or don't vote. If there are issues that speak to you, then by all means vote. It is your right to vote. Use it if that is what you are led to do. I would say pray and let the Spirit lead you. After all, that is what I do.

I am a Christian and every day I pray that God use me as His hands and feet and make me more like Jesus. So, before I came to this decision I prayed about it. I heard that whisper tell me not to vote for Romney or Obama. I immediately began to question where governments came from and why there is so much name calling and strife in them. They are man made, not God made no matter what anyone says. How dare a candidate or party claim to be "God's Choice."

It was laid on my heart to do what Christ would have done. Who would Jesus vote for? I don't think He would have voted. He would have prayed for ALL of the candidates and ALL of the voters, though. How dare anyone call themselves a Christian one minute and then say that anyone voting for ________(fill-in name of candidate or political party here) will go to Hell the next minute. SHAME ON YOU!!!

Christ would have seen that there are inherent evils in every political party. Yes, even you 3rd and 4th party candidates have huge flaws. He would have seen that there was also good in all political parties in this election. Then He would have continued to heal the sick and lead the lost. He would continue to talk, but not about how much better He was making this world or some politician was making this world. He would say, as He did to Pilate, "My kingdom (government) is not of this world."

Because of all that, I chose not to vote this year in the presidential election. Does that mean that I don't want change? My life is spent in service to others. Therefore, I will continue to enact change through my daily life. I will use my life to impact others. My eyes are not focused on the next 4 years, or even the next 20. Afer all, I am a citizen of a far greater Kingdom than the United States. I have my eyes cast on a much higher governing body.

I know that I am blessed to live in the United States because of our many freedoms. I do not take that for granted, nor do I take it lightly! I will not, however, cast my vote this year because none of the candidates are the ones I would stand behind. Instead I will continue to help those who are struggling with their faith, addictions, mental illnesses, or other life consuming issues and I will continue to preach the gospel. After all, that is what Christ would do.

I'm Hacked Off

I was hacked off this week. Once again a friend relapsed, and it made me angry at first. I tried to figure out how anyone who has clean time could possibly relapse. Once you have several years and are seeing that life can be amazing without drugs/alcohol, what could possibly possess you to use again?

Then I remember the cunning, baffling and strong aspects of addiction and I calm down a little. While I calm down, I remember my relapses in the past. There were relapses with old friends I thought had quit using, new prescriptions after accidents and oral surgery, new friends I thought didn't use that did, hanging out in bars and having friends that used and feeling that I would be strong enough to always say no. I learned otherwise. But I always got back up!

Now, in the wake of my friends relapse I reflect on the things that have kept me clean and sober. I want to remind you right now that your addiction is in the back of your head: running on a treadmill, lifting weights and doing research on the computer! It is getting stronger and smarter each and every day, trying to figure out the best way to take your life over. This is to be avoided at all costs!!

If our addiction is getting stronger and smarter, we obviously need to keep our recovery even stronger than our addiction. The question is, how do we strengthen our recovery? I have to stick with the 5 Pillars of Recovery:

1. GET A HIGHER POWER (God, NA/AA Group, etc.) This is the foundation of your recovery! Your Higher Power needs to be something that can give you validation, love, compassion and acceptance. Door knobs need not apply.
2. GO TO MEETINGS (NA, AA, Celebrate Recovery, Living Free, small groups, etc.) Great place to meet like minded people, realize we are not the only ones who struggle and get some hope restored. Without hope, recovery is impossible.
3. GET A SPONSOR (Mentor) This is someone who is living their lives the way you would like to be living yours 5 years down the road and is willing to take the time to help you get there
4. STEP WORK (12 Steps) This is a set of things that we need to do in order to work through our addiction. The truth is, most of us are not working the steps for drugs/alcohol/food/pornography/etc. We have deep rooted problems that must be taken care of first and when we do that our addictions will begin to sort themselves out. Think of going to a doctor missing a finger and all he did was clean up the blood and then said you were better. Are you better? Of course not! He has not taken care of the problem, only a symptom of the problem. Our addictions are the same way, just a symptom of the real problems. We need to take care of the deeper issues and the 12 steps are the way to do it!
5. GET ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNERS (Friends that are positive and sober) These are people you can set up in your life who will help you stay on task. They will call you when you miss a meeting or don't show up at work just to tell you that you're missed and ask if everything is okay. They may even show up unannounced, drag you off of your pity-pot and take you out for coffee. 

If I have these 5 things in my life I need to also make sure that I pray and meditate every day. Working steps, going to meetings and working with a sponsor will cause issues to come to mind. We need to address these, and prayer and meditation is a great way to do that. If you don't have time, you need to make time. Some nights I don't get off of work until 9 PM, but I am still up at 4 AM the next morning to lift weights for 30 minutes then walk. Why do I do this?

I have found that taking a 30 minute walk most mornings allows me to focus on praying and meditating. I focus on the things that I am grateful for. Then I pray for: strength/courage/wisdom to accomplish what I need to that day, to make me a better husband/father, then help for my friends, family and others who are struggling. In addition I always pray for two things: To make me like Jesus and to use me this day as His hands and feet. This always gets my day off to a great start! 

Hurricane Sandy: Accountability and Entitlement

As I watch the news after Hurricane Sandy and see all of the angry people, I am reminded of other angry people after Hurricane Katrina. I do not want to in any way undermine the pain, panic and stress that these survivors are going through. Some have lost homes, family members, friends, vehicles, jobs, etc. There is a lot of loss, and that is horrific. After doing psychological first aid for the Joplin tornado I have seen first hand how natural disasters affect people. Natural disasters are not kind, and they leave trauma in their wake.

That said, there is a sense of entitlement that I don't understand. When a natural disaster strikes, why is it everyone else's job to provide you with things? The people had a week to prepare, and they did not get supplies? You have no food or water two days after the Hurricane hit, and that is the government's fault. How do you suppose that? Just because the United States has FEMA does not mean that it is their responsibility to cater to your whims.

Some people were told to leave, and they came back to nothing which is horrific. These are not the people that I am addressing. Those who lost houses, that is horrible and they need help. I am talking about the people who never left their homes. Either that or their homes are still standing. Those are the people I am addressing. The people who were totally unprepared for the aftermath. When it is winter time or there are storms headed your way, don't get caught with your pants down. Be prepared!

I feel that we would never have lasted 100 years ago. People were stranded sometimes for a couple of months without the ability to get into town after blizzards. They faced hurricanes with far less warning than we have today. Yet our grandparents and great grandparents survived. I wonder how they did it? They did it by realizing that they needed to have supplies at the ready. They held themselves accountable for their own well-being. When a hurricane is headed your way, that is no small thing. To not be prepared is negligent at best and might even be criminal!

It seems we can't last a couple of days after a natural disaster without resorting to, "I need," "I want," "You need to"  and "You have to." How is it everybodys responsibility to take care of you? Why did you not take heed of the warnings you received and get water and non-perishable food, just in case? Due to lack of personal responsibility it has to be someone elses fault, right? "It couldn't possibly be my fault, it must be the ______________(fill in blank with which ever politician or political party you want to blame)." Buck up and take some responsibility for yourself and your family.

There are resources coming to you, but they are a gift. What you will get: food, blankets, water, places to sleep, funding to rebuild are much needed. They are not something you are entitled to, though. You are entitled to take care of yourself and your family. Maybe even your friends and neighbors, but that is your responsibility. Everything else you might get is a bonus. Consider it grace, unmerited favor, something you do not deserve. Just because you live in Merica' doesn't mean that you deserve to get benefits handed to you.

Unfortunately, we are becoming a country that expects others to do for them when they are unwilling to do for themselves. People sit back on welfare, not looking for jobs. They can't afford to raise the kids they have yet they continue to have babies. I once had a client tell me, "I don't have to work. I have kids." As if that was an option! But this is an entirely different rant, so I will stop it.

Instead, let's look at what we need to have so that we can be prepared for a natural disaster if one does occur. Several years back, I had a learning experience in the form of an ice storm that kept us living in freezing conditions with no electricity for over a week. It is important to have a disaster supply kit, and here is a list of things that needs to be in it:

1. A gallon of fresh drinking water for each household member for at least 7 days each
2. Non-perishable food items for at least 7 days per family member (don't forget your pets)
3. Can Opener to open food
4. First Aid Kit
5. Flash Light with extra batteries and Self-Powered Lights
6. Self-Powered or Battery powered radio with extra batteries if needed
7. NOAA Weather Radio with tone alert and extra batteries
8. Waterproof Matches
9. Generator (if you can afford it) with spare gasoline
10. Sleeping Bags and Extra Blankets for each person
11. Hand Sanitizer and Moist Towelettes
12. No less than $50 in small bills
13. Photo Copies of your ID
14. Boots, Gloves, Jacket and a complete change of clothing for each household member
15. Multi-Purpose Tool
16. LED Lantern
17. Duct Tape
18. Plastic Sheeting
19. Camp Stove with extra Propane or Grill with extra Charcoal (Volcano Kettles are nice)
20. Clorox
21. Toilet Paper
22. Trash Bags
23. Emergency Whistle
24. Survival Knife, Shovel, Saw and Crow Bar
25. 5 Gallon Bucket and Kitty Litter (Handy Restroom)
26. Toiletries (Tooth Brushes, Toothpaste, Deodorant, etc.)
27. Prescriptions

If you can think of anything else, let me know and I'll add it to the list