The Joplin Tornado: One Year Later

So over the weekend I went to Joplin for Restore Fest. It was a year after the EF 5 tornado ripped through Joplin. It had winds that were estimated to reach 250 miles per hour and was on the ground for 22 miles while reaching a width of almost a mile. It leveled houses, businesses, schools, the hospital and churches. It left 161 dead in its wake. To say the least, it was a traumatic experience for many and left most of the residents of Joplin in shock.

I was in Joplin soon after the tornado hit to do psychological first aid to those who had survived the tornado as well as those who were there volunteering. The pictures and video that I had seen on television as well as the prep that we got on the way to Joplin from someone who had already been there left me ill prepared for the devastation that I was to see. Almost every vehicle that I saw people driving was without windows. The tornado had blown them out.

I met many people who were demoralized and down, and it looked like nothing I had ever seen. Every where you saw destruction. Joplinites had lost their jobs, homes, vehicles, pets and families. It may have left over 160 dead, but from looking at Joplin I would have thought that thousands had perished. They did not feel lucky, but they were. I was actually shocked that so few people were dead, based on the carnage that I saw.

This past weekend I came back a year later, for the first time since I had volunteered to counsel those who were left confused, scared, angry, depressed, desperate, etc. Most were experiencing a wide range of emotions a year ago, and a lot of those emotions they were feeling all at once. But you could sense their will and strength.

When I came back for Restore Fest, the survivors had regained their hope and pride because of their will and strength. It was amazing to see all of the construction that was occurring and the places that were in shambles just a year ago, now rebuilt and doing business. Joplin was back, slowly but surely.

I ate at the Chik-fil-A that a year ago had everything sucked out of the window and was completely bare inside. The Burger King that had only the play equipment intact with the building demolished was again in business. The houses may not have been rebuilt, but the carnage was cleaned up. New construction was going on every where you looked. I saw people driving cars that had windows in them. I saw people smiling, laughing and holding their heads high. They had overcame, and over 7,000 people showed up for Restore Fest.

Convoy of Hope was there and they partnered with many other agencies and organizations to do what Convoy does best. Give aid and hope to those who are struggling from disasters and poverty. There was a free event that provided groceries, a health fair, hair cuts, family portraits, lunch and a kid zone with rides and inflatables.

Then Restore Fest kicked off, with amazing worship by some amazing groups. There was Jeremy Camp, Mandisa, Sanctus Real, Andy Cherry (who is a great guy and has a heart for Christ), KJ-52, Rema Soul, Stars Go Dim and many others. It was amazingly fun and inspirational. I saw and heard some people's stories that had felt defeated just a year ago and now had hope.

My last stop on the way out of town was the Spirit Tree. It was strong, beautiful and stood strong when everything around it was blown away. It may have lost all that surrounded it and all it once knew, but it was still there inspiring hope in others.........just like the people of Joplin.

Finally Home by Mercy Me

I remember the first time that I heard Finally Home. I had just gotten saved and was at my first concert. It was amazing. It was the Rock and Worship Road Show with Mercy Me, Jeremy Camp, Tenth Avenue North, Addison Road and Hawk Nelson. As soon as I heard the song, it made me think of my father who had passed away the previous year. It put a smile on my face, and that aspect of the song has not changed.

I listen to the song Finally Home by Mercy Me and the lyrics make me insanely happy every single time. The thought of talking to my father, who did not get to see me finally overcome my addiction and turn my life over to Christ, makes me smile. I had, ever since I was saved, imagined my dad looking down on me and seeing me raise the grandson that he never got to meet. That, too, made me smile. Then I came to realize that it was pretty small-minded of me to think that way. Maybe even a bit selfish. That is the aspect of the song that has changed for me as I have advanced in my relationship with Christ.

Today I imagine myself in heaven after living my life for God. There is no words that can describe the wonders I will see when I finally get to heaven, which I truly consider my home. I believe all I would do is worship and be bliss-filled once I got there. I do not think that worldly concerns will be in my scope of attention. I no longer think that my dad is looking down from heaven, watching me. I am pretty sure that Mercy Me feels the same way.

In the song Bart Millard says, "I'm gonna wrap my arms around my daddy's neck, and tell him that I missed him. And tell him all about the man that I became, and hope that it please him. There's so much I want to say, so much I want you to know." I will get to do the same thing. I will have to tell my dad about what has happened. If heaven is half what I know it will be, my father will be too focused on the magnificence of God to watch his son. I know that is true for my father. That excites me!

After all, I get to tell him all about me and his grandson and unborn grandchild and how we have turned out when I finally make it home!! And we will worship together for the first time since I was in the 4th grade. That is when I became agnostic, and my father died before I got saved. The last time we stood in a church and worshipped together was when I was 9. Worshipping in front of my heavenly father with my earthly father next to me will be an immeasurable gift, and I cannot wait!!

Songs of Recovery - Let it Fade by Jeremy Camp

February 1st, 2009 was the first day of my walk with Christ. I had the transformation that you can read about in my About Me page at about 2 A.M. on February 1st. Since then it has all been different. I used to go to secular concerts, which were always as much about the alcohol and drugs as they were about the music. That may not be your take on them, but they were in my world.

Due to this, I had not been to a concert in the first couple of months after I got saved, which was weird for me. I attended at least 10 concerts a year at the time, but with no longer drinking and wanting to change my life I had simply stopped going to them. I had some friends from New Life who invited me to a concert with them. It was called the Rock and Worship Roadshow, and it was in April of 2009.

It was a worship concerts with a couple of great acts, among them Mercy Me, Tenth Avenue North and Jeremy Camp . I will discuss the concert in a future blog that will be about the concert and the impact that it had on me. This is how much the entire concert affected me, I could easily write several thousand words on the experience. That said, there was one song that I had never heard before. I did not really know who Jeremy Camp was at the time, but I recognized a song or two from listening to 88.3 The Wind (WKND). He stepped up and played his first few songs. I liked all of the songs he played, but when he began to sing one...........WOW! That is the only word that comes to my mind, wow!! It started with:

Have you been walking on a surface that's uncertain?
Have you helped yourself to everything that's empty?
You can't live this way too long.
There's more than this, more than this.
Have you been standing on your own feet too long?
Have you been looking for a place where you belong?
You can rest, you will find rest.
You can rest, you will find rest.

I remember sitting in the crowd and thinking, "Why yes, I have been walking on an uncertain surface and filling my life with empty things." I walked on my own, and I can tell you that is very uncertain. I have first thought wrong. My brain is a scary place to be all by myself, and I was there a lot. And as for helping myself to empty things, everything that I did was an empty act. If I was doing something nice, it was probably for show. I wanted people to think that I was not a bad person, so I did things and made sure that people knew about it.

As for my lifestyle, you get no more empty than numbing with drugs and alcohol and erecting walls to keep everyone out so that you can feel safe and not put your heart out there. He was right, I could not live my life that way too long. I had quite a few friends who were dead from their addictions. It had been me against the world for too long. Living without anyone to depend on but me (and my sister) was frustrating and tiring. I definitely needed some rest.

The cool thing was that I had finally been found by Christ, and I was actually feeling by this time that I did belong in church. For the first year that I went to New Life, I did not feel that I did belong, though. I did not feel judged by others, but I am my own worst critic. I deemed me unworthy. All of that changed February 1st. Now I had a place that I belonged. Then Jeremy came with the chorus:

Let this old life crumble, let it fade.
Let this new life offered be your saving grace.
Let this old life crumble, let it fade, let it fade.

I knew as soon as I heard that chorus that this was exactly what I had done. I had let my old life crumble away when I had accepted Christ into my life. This new life was my saving grace, as now I no longer had to do everything on my own. I now had the Holy Spirit living inside of me. I knew that I would never be alone again, because Christ was always with me. With God walking with me and the Spirit residing in me I would never again be alone.

Now I had the drive to do what was right. I had surrounded myself with positive people. I was letting my old life crumble and fade away. Like 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" That old life had crumbled when I accepted Christ into my life, and it was fading away more and more each day. His next verse also reminded me of my old life:

Have you been holding on to what this world has offered?
Have you been giving in to all these masquerades?
It will be gone, forever gone.
It will be gone, it will be gone

I had held onto this old world for so long that it had almost killed me. I had lost everything, including my self-respect. I gave into the false belief that numbing would make everything including myself better. If someone wanted to sleep with me, then I was a good person. If I could numb it due to the drugs or alcohol, then it did not exist. If I could beat people up, then they would listen to me so they must respect me. This was all a big masquerade. Perception is reality, but that does not make it true. 

Every time thata I tricked myself, it was fleeting. I would feel better until I sobered up, or until I was alone again. Then I would feel worthless all over again. I would always have to repeat the cycle in order to have the illusion of normality. And it was an illusion! What I considered normal most people would consider insane. That, and it was only temporary. It was gone and I would have to do it again immediately in order to feel better. Whether it was sex, food, drugs, alcohol or violence. My life was a laundry cycle, rinse and repeat! But I had found a new way to live. The new way was truly the chorus of the Jeremy Camp song:

Let this old life crumble, let it fade.
Let this new life offered be your saving grace.
Let this old life crumble, let it fade, let it fade.

This song simply reinforced what I already knew. Life with Christ was the new life that offered me hope. Only by the grace of God was I able to step out of my addiction into a life that was worth while. I was no longer angry, I was no longer full of self-loathing. I actually liked who I was and had faith that I could be a good example and an inspiration. I was no longer running from my calling, I was running towards it. I was built from the ground up, from my infancy up to be a teacher, a motivator and an inspiration. 

Thanks Jeremy! This song reinforced what I already knew. The first thing that I did after your set was go and buy your CD's and a T-Shirt that said Let This Old Life Crumble on the front and Let it Fade on the back. Then I came back, sat down and listened to Mercy Me. Great song, and a great way of telling us that there is so much more than this old life that we are currently living. I found it to be inspirational, and it has always been one of the songs that I listen to that help me realize how much better my life is now than it once was!