What Independence Day Means to Me (Mine is January 31st, and again on Easter)

The 4th of July is called Independence Day. It is the day that the United States declared that it would no longer be dependent on Great Britain. The United States, in the Declaration of Independence, told Great Britain that they would no longer be under their control. Most people, when they hear Independence Day automatically think of July 4th. I do not.

There is another date that comes to my mind when I hear the words Independence Day. The date that comes to my mind is January 31st, 2009. You see, when I hear independence my mind as one who is in recovery instantly defines that word. I think of no longer being dependent upon something to be able to function or exist. When I think of independence I think of recovery.

The word recovery was never part of my vocabulary. Not unless I was in a serious car accident or had overdosed, which I did frequently. It was not part of my language because I was what most would consider a lost cause, a lifer. I had been smoking cigarettes, using drugs/alcohol for over 25 years when 2009 rolled around. I was not really expected to change my ways. Most people had given up on me.

It was the same as pretty much every other year when 2009 started, yet at the same time it was really different. I had stopped shooting up in 2001, and had traded out my addiction to drugs for an addiction to alcohol. I could justify that. It was legal, and at least I wasn't doing drugs. Soon my drinking spiraled out of control and by 2009 I would wake up some nights with shakes and have to drink to make the shakes subside so that I could go back to sleep.

My addiction in 2009 was just as bad if not worse than it had ever been. It may have been legal, but I blacked out most nights and frequently drove home when I had no business walking. I am still amazed that I never killed anyone. In all, I have totaled 4 vehicles. The worst accident I had I flew a Firebird 97 feet and got 32 into the air before crashing into trees.  Plus, I was still smoking cigarettes, getting into fights, sleeping around, cussing and I was a very outspoken Agnostic.

There were some differences, though. I was a father, which had only happened two years earlier. My father was gone, having committed suicide in February of 2008. I was also fighting with my son's mother over visitation, which was rough. Finally, I had started going to church in Fall of 2008. That was different for me as church was also not in my vocabulary.

I would still adamantly tell you that I was Agnostic, but I was going to church because a couple that were the only friends I thought I had were going there and they had a recovery meeting that I could go to and be honest without seeing clients from the facility that I worked at. I was not going weekly, but I would go there once or twice a month. Then something happened, my Independence Day.

I had left a bar and was on my way home when a police car pulled behind me and began to follow me. He followed me through multiple turns and I began to make deals with God about me not getting pulled over and the things that I would do if He made me getting home safely a reality. Needless to say, He did and I have had to keep my part of the bargain. You can read about that experience here http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2012/03/impact-that-im-not-who-i-was-by-brandon.html

There is a piece of the Declaration of Independence that also applies here. The founder's of our country said, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness." This really applies to all of us who are consumed with life controlling issues.

In my addiction, I had no true life or liberty. I was running from pain and depression, but the truth is without facing them I would never be happy. Freedom is now what you have to do, but what you don't have to do. I had to do drugs, had to drink, had to fight,  had to sleep around to feel better about myself and not feel physically ill.

That is just not a good direction for life, but I did not know any better. I did not know any better because I had lived my life with hope in nothing and no one but myself. Well, myself and my addictions. I would have told you that I was Agnostic but that wasn't really true. I had made addiction my god. It was the focus of my every waking thought. If I was not using, I was making plans to and looking forward to it all day.

There is no independence in that life, only dependence. Over the course of my addiction, I tried everything secular that I could find to no avail. Whether it was rehab, prison, 12 step meetings, counseling or medication I always relapsed sooner than later. The longest I went without use was a 3 month stint. That is including the first 30 days that I spent in a residential drug rehabilitation center.

The outcome was always the same, me using. Then one night I was desperate and I prayed to God to help me overcome my addictions. He has kept his part, and I have not smoked a cigarette, drank, used drugs, slept around or gotten into a fight since then. Phillipians 4:13 is right when it says "I can do all things through He who strengthens me." I am living proof.

I hope that you enjoy a great 4th,filled with baseball games, fireworks and BBQ to bless your day. But while you are enjoying your day I also hope you remember that as a Christian you have true independence. Thanks to the sacrifice of Christ you have freedom from sin and by proxy from death, since the wage of sin is death. This above all we must give thanks for.

So although July 4th is the national date that Americans celebrate their country's Independence on, we are not of this world. I appreciate the sacrifices that our troops made back then just as I appreciate the sacrifices that they make today. More than all of those, I appreciate the sacrifice that Christ made 2,000 years ago that bought me independence from death and the promise of everlasting life. I also am forever grateful for the Holy Spirit that has filled, guided and enabled me to stay abstinent since February 1st of 2009.

What is A Moral Failure

I heard today that Pastor Tommy, who I think is an amazing pastor, stepped down as the lead pastor at North Point Church for what was called a "moral failure." I have never heard of a moral failure before, and I will not presume to know what he did or did not do. Everyone else can speculate about what he did. Personally, hearing the news today made me think about the affects that his stepping down could have on some of my friends and clients who go to North Point Church. So, this blog is for all of you.

First, what is a moral failure? As someone who is in recovery, I would imagine it is what I would call a relapse. If you are on parole you call it recidivism. Others might label it sin, character flaws, stumbling, sexual indiscretions or any number of other things. Bottom line, you messed up! That might be the best way to say moral failure, really. For the purpose of this blog moral failure will be referred to as relapse.

So, what is a relapse? Imagine you have sworn off something: drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, premarital sex, cheesecake, cutting yourself, cussing, etc. You are off to a good start. A good start is labeled differently by different people for different transgressions. It might be 4 hours, a day, a month or 10 years without a relapse. You are kicking butt and taking names, and all of a sudden you do it again.

One day you find yourself smoking that cigarette you swore off, or having sex with someone other than your spouse and breaking your wedding vows. All that you can think is, "How could this have happened?" You want to know how? In the program they say that addiction is cunning, baffling and strong. I think that addiction and the devil are synonymous, and they are experts at what they do.

At one time Satan was in control of my life. I was his soldier, and my lifestyle carried out his bidding. I had actually made drugs my god. When I got saved, the devil was kicked out of my life. He was no longer the main focus. That said, he is still there. Remember, the biggest trick the devil can pull off is convincing us that he no longer exists. When we do that, we immediately let him back into our lives.

Even if you are aware of him, remember that he is still aware of you too. Right now the devil is in the back of your head. Satan is lifting weights, running on the treadmill and doing research on the internet. He is getting stronger and smarter with only one goal. The Devil wants to get back into your life! He wants to move from the back of your brain and into the front of your brain.

The sad thing is that Satan has a plethora of tools at his disposal. This is his world and he knows it well. He can use your friends and family. He can use the television or the radio. He can use the gas station or even church. If you stop sleeping around, he will use porn. If you stop doing drugs, he will come at you with energy drinks. If you swear off R-Rated movies, he will come at you from the television and the radio. He does not like to lose. The devil will stop at nothing to have you back. He will use any one, any thing and any place to accomplish that goal! 

He will also use the people that we put upon a pedestal. For some that may be Pastor Tommy, and that is what scares me for some of my clients. They attend North Point and they have elevated Tommy to hero status. The problem with heros is that they are still human. My experience with hero worship was my sponsor in Narcotic's Anonymous. He had 11 years clean and had been my sponsor for 7 years when he relapsed. It started harmlessly, he drank a couple of O'Douls at a bachelor party. Two weeks later he was shooting up heroin.

How could that happen? How could someone with that much clean time fall off the wagon? I'll tell you how, because we all are capable of messing up if we let our guard down for one minute. Putting someone on a pedestal is always a mistake, because we all slip sometimes. Romans 3:23 says, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." That means everyone, even a favorite parent or your pastor, makes mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes.

Look in the Bible. David slept with a married women then had her husband put into the front lines and abandoned so that he would die. Peter denied Christ 3 times. Paul wrote over half of the New Testament, and in Romans 7 he said that he wanted to do good things, but found himself not doing them. Instead, he found himself doing evil things that he didn't want to do.

So when someone messes up, what should we do? Should we humiliate them, or abandon them? Should we avoid them and talk poorly about them? Should we pray for them and offer our support? I would advise the latter. We should pray for them, and if it does not jeopardize us we should be there for them, also. I have told friends that I could not meet them at their house where I knew they were using, but that if they wanted to meet me at an NA meeting I would talk to them after it. Be safe, but be supportive!!

When someone has a relapse, I always remember the saying but for the grace of God, there go I. I could just as easily have suffered the same fate if not for God's mercy. I need to appreciate what I have and remember that God loves us all, even the sinner. 1 Timothy 1:15 reminds us that Christ came into the world to save sinners. We all have the ability to sin, to mess up, to relapse. So how do we protect ourselves from a relapse?

It requires a mentor/sponsor, accountability partners, working the 12 steps/living Biblically and actually applying them in our lives. We need to avoid places, people and situations that are dangerous. We need to read the Bible, truly study it and apply it. We also need to pray constantly. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says that we are to "pray without ceasing." We should always be in contact with God. Why is this important?

Phillipians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through He who strengthens me." Without Christ I was weak and a servant of Satan. With Christ I have overcame my addictions and have been able to share my faith, hope and recovery with others. That has been done, not by forgetting the Devil is there, but instead doing everything that I can to keep him at bay.

So I hope that my friends and associates who go to North Point are not shattered by the latest development there. Instead I hope that it reminds them how easy it can be to make mistakes. Hopefully they will focus more on their relationship with Christ and what they can do to make that relationship stronger.

When my sponsor relapsed, it did several things to me. First, it reminded me how strong addiction and by proxy Satan are. Second, it made me remember that my addiction doesn't take a day off, and neither should my recovery. I have to daily do things to build my sobriety and my relationship with Christ. That is because I know that Satan is using new tricks every day to get back into my life. As long as I stay prepared and vigilant, he will fail.

After my sponsor relapsed I was there for him with prayer and encouragement to help him back up. We talked daily and met at meetings several times a week. He had done so much for me, and I was blessed to be able to repay a small part of what he had done for me back to him. I am sure people feel the same way about Tommy. He has helped thousands. I hope that everyone remembers all that he and his family have  done for them and that prayer and support rains down upon Tommy, his family and the North Point Community.

Movie Review - Soul Surfer

This is the first movie that I am reviewing, but after seeing the movie I just cannot imagine not recommending people to go and see it. My reviews may not get that far into being a narrative of the movie.  Instead, what you will get is a brief overview of the movie along with the Christian undertones (in this case there are not undertones, it is a movie about Christians) and whether or not I feel that it is fit for children.

For starters, all that I can say is WOW!! Soul Surfer is an amazing movie. I was crying 15 minutes into this movie and do not think that I stopped crying through out the rest of it. There is a lot of anguish and emotion in this movie that is portrayed realistically and due to that I was affected by it. Just to clarify, I often cry at movies. Not nearly as often or as long as I did in this one, though.

The casting in Soul Surfer is superb. It includes AnnaSophia Robb(also in Race to Witch Mountain and Bridge to Terabithia) as Bethany Hamilton, Dennis Quaid as her father and Helen Hunt as her mother. It also has Kevin Sorbo (he is Hercules in multiple movies and the series), who plays her best friend's dad who probably saved Beth's life with quick thinking after the shark attack. Jack Nicholson's daughter, Lorraine plays her best friend. Jeremy Sumpter, who plays J.D. McCoy in Friday Night Lights (probably my favorite TV series ever) plays her best friend's brother. It also stars Carrie Underwood as her youth pastor.

The movie is about Bethany Hamilton, a surfer who got her arm bitten off by a shark when she was 13. She wrote a book about the incident and how it changed her life that was entitled Soul Surfer: A True Story of Faith, Family, and Fighting to Get Back on the Board. It is this book and interviews done with those involved with her and her family that the movie is based off of.

If you cannot tell, I loved the movie. There are several scriptures quoted in the film (Jeremiah 29:11 and Philippians 4:13). It was also nice to see worship music featured prominently in a movie. There is a song by Francesca Battistelli as well as music by Britt Nicole and Mat Kearney. It also starts off with a church service that is right on the beach, and the hymn that the congregation is singing is "Blessed be Your Name."

I do not want to give away the movie, so I will not discuss what happens other than to say that it shows a families struggles with their faith, their immaturity and what is important in their lives after Bethany loses her arm. It also shows how the media attacks those who suffer trauma. They circled her and her family and it was probably just as traumatic as the shark attack itself. I feel that it is an accurate portrayal of the media, which is sad......

I have read several reviews from Christian blogs and have been disappointed in them, to say the least. This is a Hollywood movie about a young Christian girl and her family. There is a focus on the secular, but there is more about the faith than you see in most movies and anyone with the ability to add 1+1 can see that it is Christianity that she is talking about when she says that "If you have faith, anything is possible." Could there have been more? Of course, and there could have been less. From what I have read, the Hamilton family actually insisted that parts of the movie remain that the studio wanted to remove in order to make the movie "less" Christian. I applaud the family in staying true to their faith.

Now, to address the critics. Yes, there are a lot of bathing suits shown in this movie. It is about a girl from Hawaii who is a surfer. I am sorry if it accurately depicts the beach and what you will see. I see sports bras at the gym and bikinis at the pool as well as the beach. I would never stop going to the gym or going swimming and floating due to that, nor would I suggest that you not see this movie based on that. Could it give someone impure thoughts? To be honest, what couldn't give someone impure thoughts.

I have also heard complaints that it "only has two scriptures quoted in it." That is two more scriptures than I hear in most movies. Prayer plays a prominent part in this movie, as does church and mission trips. The movie also shows the realistic struggle that a young teen-ager chasing a professional sporting career could encounter. I was glad to see the movie show the organization World Vision when Bethany goes on a mission to Thailand after the Tsunami.

Personally, I think that there are some really good teaching points that could be positively used by parents in this movie. When there are struggles, it can be discussed. If you disagree with the parenting choices shown in the movie, than discuss that with your children. What could be better than using the movie to discuss Christianity with your children? Both what it gets right and what you would do differently.

 The movie is not at all preachy, but instead shows how faith played a huge part in Bethany's being able to stay positive and prosper in the face of adversity. She gradually grows and begins to see that there is more to life than surfing. She also discovers how God can use tragedies, which she nods to at the end of the movie. When asked by a reporter if she could go back to the day of the attack and redo it, would she surf she tells the reporter no, "I can embrace more people with one arm than I ever could with two."

In closing, this movie shows many positive things: it portays a very close and protective family, prominently plays Christian performers music throughout, shows a young woman who suffers incredible tragedy and yet remains grounded/positive/selfless, transitions to a deeper committment to Christ, has a mother who questions her daughter's focus on surfing, shows Bethany winning over a competitor who is mean to her by remaining kind and encourages those who have physical disabilities to pursue their dreams. I enjoyed this movie and I would highly recommend it.