Tactics by Gregory Koukl Chapter 11 - Steamroller

Are you ready to learn more ways to deal with people who hold different beliefs than you do? If so, then this has been a great series for you. We have been looking at ways to help explain to others our opinion when we disagree. Sometimes, no matter how reasonable our points are people will not listen. They have their minds made up and nothing you can tell them is going to change their minds today, not matter how rational your argument it.

Believe it or not, rational reasons keep people from seeing the truth. A rational reason can bring up more questions, and until those question are answered, you are at an impasse. So what are those reasons?

1. Emotional reasons - They have had bad experiences with the church, or with Christians, or because if they accept Christ that means that _________ (Fill in blank with name of deceased loved one) died without forgiveness and they may be in suffering for all of eternity.
2. Prejudice - As soon as they see you or find out you are a Christian, they have already made value judgments against you and are shut down. They are only interested in their position, not yours.
3. Rebellion - Some people fight against Christ and Christianity because they are stubborn. They will fight that fight until the day they die

Those reasons may all be going on with the person you are talking to. Every once in a while you will run into someone who uses one of the above reasons. They will try to verbally overpower you. It is not facts or even arguments that they throw at you, but the force of their own will. This is the person known as the steamroller. So, how do we know a steamroller?

A steamroller always interrupts. A lot like the interrupting cow, they will constantly throw questions at you, not allowing you to answer the original question that they asked. They will change subjects, fire question after question, interrupt and never allow you to be on the offensive. Nothing you say will matter to them, because they generally aren't listening anyway. After all, they are not interested in learning or even getting their questions answered. The steamroller is only interested in winning.

Because they are aggressive, you have to be aggressive with them. There are several steps to being aggressive enough to have a conversation with the steamroller:

1. STOP HIM
2. SHAME HIM
3. LEAVE HIM

You have to stop the steamroller if you can. Once he knows that you are intimidated, he has already won. Because of this, you need to act quickly. One way to stop the intrusion is to nicely ask for courtesy. You might hold up your hand or a finger, and when they pause say, "I'm not quite finished answering your question yet. You asked a good question and I would like to give you a good answer. If you have another question or comment I will give you the chance as soon as I am done to respond. Will that work?"

If they break their agreement to wait until you are done, or if they will not give you an opportunity to talk you move to step 2. Shaming is a little more aggressive. You will shame them for their bad behavior. This is done by getting their attention, looking them in the eye and calmly talking to them. You could say something like, "Can I ask a quick question? So you really want a response from me? I thought that you did at first, now I get the impression from your continuing to interrupt me that all you really want is an audience. If that is true, I can just listen to you. If you want an answer, you'll need to give me time to respond. Tell me what you want. I need to know before I go on."

Hopefully that will work. They will see that you are their equal and they cannot steamroll you, or they continue to be rude and interrupt. Never lose your calm. Remember the saying, "Never get into an argument with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level then beat you with experience." If you cannot get them to stop, you leave. Plain and simple. When the first two methods have failed you need to just walk away. They can have the satisfaction of having the last word. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone deserves an answer.

Once again, don't forget what the Bible says about this very thing in Mark 4. You are told that some of the seeds you plant will fall by the thorns and not grow, some will sprout fast but wither and die and still others will be gobbled up by birds. All you can do is plant the seeds. Then your job is done. Remember, if it falls on deaf ears you should not take it personally. This is not about you, this is about Christ!

Tactics by Gregory Koukl Chapter 3 - Getting in the Driver's Seat: The Columbo Tactic

Are you ready? Have you have finally gotten to the point in your relationship with God that you want to share it with others? Do these quotes represent you?

• "I am ready and willing to defend my faith to others."
• "I know that I have THE Truth and THE Way. Not a truth, but THE TRUTH!"
• "I will not be ashamed, I will not be intimidated and I will not get angry but will instead share my faith proudly with others and communicate with others the Truth!"

You are ready, and the opportunity presents itself. Someone says "I don't believe in God. There is simply no proof" or "Who are you to say that Christianity is better than other religions? Jesus just taught about love, just like every other religion! Who are you to tell everybody how they should live and what they should believe?" and you completely shut down. Your mind either goes blank or 10 different ways to defend your faith run through your head at once and you can't grab any of them. Just like that, your window of opportunity has passed and you are left shaking your head. Why did the conversation pass you by?

I am sure there are several reasons. The first may be that you have a window of about 10 seconds to engage the question before it vanishes. You miss the window, and poof it's gone! Secondly, you may not speak because you are afraid that you might lose a friend or appear too extreme. Lastly, you are looking at the opportunity in the wrong way. You feel the need to defend your faith and that can be intimidating, playing defense. The great news is that you do not have to defend your faith. That is the simplicity of the Columbo Tactic in this chapter.

In the show Columbo, the detective that the show was named after had a method of operating that was very different. He would walk in looking unprepared, sloppy and unassuming. He would look at the scene, take it all in and then ask a question. He never posed the question in a threatening way, but instead as a way to get clarification. He sometimes would even ask permission, "Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Then he would listen to the reply, which would generally lead to his asking another question.

Mr. Koukl says that you can, "go on the offensive in an inoffensive way by using carefully selected questions to productively advance the conversation."  Asking questions serves several purposes. It displays interest in the person speaking, allowing them to feel cared about. It also educates you on the other person's beliefs. Finally, questions allow you to stay on the offensive, sitting in the driver's seat of a conversation. If you have not stated your own beliefs, you have nothing to defend. The pressure for you is nonexistent and you can enjoy a relaxed conversation while steering it in the direction you want it to go in.

The best question is, "What do you mean by that?" or a variation thereof. It is an open-ended question that engages the person in an interactive way. It helps them clarify their point of view. It will make them spell out their objections instead of allowing them to use popular slogans, repeating what they have heard others say or staying vague in their beliefs. It may even surprise you how many people answer the question "What do you mean by that?" with a blank stare because they do not even know why they believe as they do.

Think of the first statement I used earlier, "I don't believe in God. There is simply no proof." The first question could be clarification of what they mean by God. Do they mean they don't believe in some white bearded old man sitting in space on a giant throne? Good, me neither! Do they mean that they don't believe in a personal God but instead in a force like nature, or are they purely atheistic? That may be pertinent information to know.

Now that you have clarified what they mean by God, you can advance the conversation while staying in the drivers seat by asking another question. The follow-up question could be to find out what type of proof they need. Will they accept historical, scientific or philosophical proof? Can the proof be beyond a reasonable doubt or must it be absolute? You see, the entire time you are having them state what they believe and you have not yet said anything about your own belief.

The second statment, "Who are you to say that Christianity is better than other religions? Jesus just taught about love, just like every other religion! Who are you to tell everybody how they should live and what they should believe?" could give us pause also. So we could start by asking about the other religions that they have studied. So in your studies, you have found that all religions are alike? followed by Why are the similarities more important than the differences? Isn't telling people to love each other telling them how they should live and what they should believe? Can you see how these questions set them up for conversation without them getting angry? Instead, the cause the conversation to continue and you have not had to argue your case at all!

That is why you must never be afraid to ask questions. Questions will force the people you are conversing with to think very carefully about what they mean. That will give you time to think and the ability to see openings when they present themselves. Remember, you are not having the conversation to win them to Christ. You are just looking for a rock to put in their shoe. You want to make them think. Argument does not bring people to Christ, encountering the Holy Spirit does. You are just creating a God-sized hole in their way of thinking for the Holy Spirit to fill-in later.

Tactics by Gregory Koukl Chapter 1: Diplomacy or D-Day

What is apologetics? It is by definition to "defend the faith, defeat false ideas, destroy speculations." These descriptions make apologetics sound very much like a full scale conflict, won by using feuding words! That is not what apologetics is for. It is not there to win by confrontation, but through diplomacy. In Tactics you will learn the Ambassador Model, which "trades more on friendly curiosity than on confrontation." How does the Ambassador Model work?

For an example, Gregory Koukl uses a discussion he started with a Pagan. In that conversation he asked the Pagan specific questions that:

1. Started the conversation.
2. Gained information.
3. Revealed the weaknesses in the responses.
4. Challenged the inconsistencies and contradictions
5. Looked at the logical consequences of the Pagan's beliefs.

He did all of this without being combative. You can use reason while being thoughtful instead of using your emotions. When you see contradictions and inconsistencies in someone's views, you are to challenge them gently, not forcefully. By paying attention you have the ability to steer the discussion in the direction you want it to go. You are in the driver's seat!

In Tactics you will learn how to get into the driver's seat of a conversation. A successful conversation requires two things, strategy and tactics. Strategy is the big picture. It is why you believe how you believe. Strategy is having knowledge to back up your beliefs. Strategically there are two types of apologetics: offensive and defensive. Offensive apologetics makes a positive case by offering evidence for Christianity. Defensive apologetics meets challenges to the Christian faith by answering them.

But the legal system show us that just having the facts (strategy) does not win the case. There have been many people who were found innocent of crimes, although the evidence was stacked against them. How did this happen? The client had an attorney who was a skilled tactician. The attorney could steer the jury towards the facts they wanted to address while poking holes in the prosecution's case. The purpose of this book is to allow you to "design particular responses to particular people so you can begin to have an impact in specific situations." This book will help you become a skilled tactician!

So as this series continues to review Tactics, we will look more into the techniques that will help you navigate the difficult conversations you get into. These techniques will be heavy on paying attention to the people around you and what they say. It is as simple as that. Only by being alert to those around you can you have an impact. If someone is not heard and understood they will not listen. You are simply clarifying their beliefs and engaging them in conversation, not combat.

You are an ambassador for Christ. You are not trying to be mean or abrasive. Instead, you get to educate those who disbelieve on why you believe. You can show them the errors that exist in their beliefs. Join me each week as we learn how to present the truth of Christianity both clearly and cleverly, turning dangerous situations into opportunities to share Christ with others.