The First Step - Denial

The first step of AA, that has been slightly reworded but is also used in NA and other 12 Step recovery programs, states, "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol- that our lives had become unmanageable." Celebrate Recovery says, "We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable." It then lists Romans 7:18 - "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out."


This is a pretty hard concept for some to grasp. I want to do what is right, but I cannot do it. I cannot control my actions. I am an addict, whether it is to relationships, sex, food, stealing, money, shopping, drugs, alcohol, codependency...........you get the point. The word that is not listed here but should be is denial. We have to admit a) that we have an addiction, b)that we are powerless and c) that we cannot manage our lives properly. The first thing we have to do is step out of the darkness of denial, or we will never be able to begin getting better.

So what is denial? Webster defines it as, "refusal to admit the truth or reality." That is what happens in our addiction. We cannot admit reality. We often either hide our issue, hang out with others who have the same problems, or we play it off as not as bad as it really is.

In denial our pain continues, never ending. In Narcotic's Anonymous they have a saying that I have always liked, "Drugs gave me wings then they took my sky away." In the beginning partying is great, but in the end it only ends in shame, guilt, depression, anxiety, isolation, deception, jails and death. Psalms 16:4 witnesses to that when it says, "Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more." Eventually, our addiction is our center of focus, the god that we worship. Only by accepting the help of the big "G" God can we begin to change.

God cannot help us if we do not admit the problem. John 3:20,21 says, "Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God."

1 John 1:5-7 adds:  “God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.”

If we continue to deny the issues we have, then God's light will not shine on us. If I am content on where I am at in life then I will be unable to change. Denial says, "I don't have a problem." If I do not think that I have a problem, then I have nothing to work on. The truth is that we are only as sick as our secrets.

If we keep living a lie than we keep ourselves away from the only power that can truly make us better. The only power that can break the chains of addiction that have us wrapped up so tightly that we cannot move. Hebrews 12:1 says, "let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up, and let us run with patience the particular race that God has set before us."

We need to walk out of the darkness into the light of God. We must step into Jesus' unconditional grace and love. Only there will we be able to begin our journey into recovery. In Romans 6: 14, 22-23 states, "For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under GRACE. But now that you have been SET FREE from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but THE GIFT OF GOD IS ETERNAL LIFE in Christ Jesus our Lord."

If that is not a reason to cry out to Jesus I do not know what is. Here is the first worship song that I heard after I got saved that truly gave me hope and allowed me to step out of the darkness of denial and into the light of salvation!