The Secular Church

The church is changing to meet the people. There are positive and negative ways the church is adapting. It is positive to address the modern issues people face with recovery/support groups and small groups. I love that churches are reaching out to help the community with outreaches and food banks. That is what Christians are supposed to do. I also really enjoy Christian concerts in the community, even though some are part worship/part entertainment. Those are all good things. Unfortunately, there are also negative ways the church is changing.

I am talking about church service conforming to stay relevant and cool. We have Domino Pizza church services that deliver church in 60 minutes, or your money back. On top of that we use secular music and cultural themes to pack the pews. When you have 15 minutes allotted for worship, 2 minutes for announcements, a 30 minute sermon, 5 minutes for collection and another 5 minutes for prayer then we see you out the door so we can get the next service started.............Houston, we have a problem.

What if the Holy Spirit leads you to teach, pray or worship longer? We have placed the Holy Spirit in a box, putting time constraints on worship, sermons and even prayer. Church used to be one of the most important things of the week. It is that way no longer. The entire day used to be built upon church and fellowship. Now we have to be in and out quickly so that we can get back home in time for football games, the latest box office smash or to see how our brackets are doing.

Francis Chan said the church now proclaims, "Hi, welcome to church. Here's your bulletin. We'll get you out in an hour. Come back next week." He asks, "What would the church look like today if we really stopped taking control of it and let the Holy Spirit lead? I believe this is exactly what the world needs to see."

We have reached an era where we no longer place importance on spending time with Christ. We appeal to the masses living a fast food life by giving them fast food church. Many in the church now believe that modern culture is needed to bring people in, so they are basing sermons around culturally fun, relevant things. Charles Spurgeon, who died over 120 years ago, could just as well have been speaking about the church today when he said:

"The devil has seldom done a cleverer thing than hinting to the Church that part of their mission is to provide entertainment for the people, with a view to winning them. My first contention is that providing amusement for the people is nowhere spoken of in the Scriptures as a function of the church.  If it is a Christian work, why did not Christ speak of it? The mission of amusement produces no converts. The need is biblical doctrine, so understood and felt that it sets men on fire."

Os Guiness says, "The only place the Church is strong in the West is ordinary people in America, which are largely evangelicals, and if you look at the evangelical community, it’s anti-intellectual. It’s handicapped, populist, and incredibly worldly. In many cases, the Church is shaped more by the world than by the Gospel of Christ."

The world needs a fresh drink of water, not the same Kool Aid they've been gulping down their entire lives. Why do some churches feel the need to give the unchurched what they already know? Is that what the Bible said? "Go out and make disciples of all nations, using the Word of God and providing entertainment they can relate to so they will come to church. Also, tone down the message so as not to offend. Remember, wide is the gate that leads to salvation and many will storm through it as your church grows larger and larger!" I must have missed that part of the Bible.

A.W. Tozer said, "We who preach the gospel must not think of ourselves as public relations agents sent to establish good will between Christ and the world. We must not imagine ourselves commissioned to make Christ acceptable to big business, the press, the world of sports or modern education. We are not diplomats but prophets, and our message is not a compromise but an ultimatum." Christ said that the world would hate us, as it hated Him yet we are trying to appease everyone.

Francis Chan calls the current American church "lukewarm." We are warned of this in Revelation 3:15,16, "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth." This is what we are doing by trying to create a middle ground between Christ and the world, being lukewarm. We have forgotten there is no middle ground. This is Satan's world. You are either the problem or the solution; not of this world or in it with 2 feet firmly planted. 

The church is doing a great disservice to those searching for hope. The nonbeliever comes to church for something different and supernatural, and is instead given what is common and known. We were told to be salt and light, but we are becoming tasteless and allowing the darkness of the world to enter into our churches. How are people to find hope, salvation or a reason to change how they are living when they hear a primary message that shouts, "Watch, read, speak and live as you want to, Jesus loves you as you are! See, we are just like you."

When the church begins to resemble the world it is in, that goes completely against what Jesus taught. He said that they would hate us, as they had hated him. James 4:4 says, "anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God." That means we may lose some friends and alienate some people when they step into our churches. They should hear the salvation message instead of what they are hearing.

Christianity Today said, "The current state of our preaching is driven by an admirable desire to show our age the relevance of the gospel. But our recent attempts have inadvertently turned that gospel into mere good advice-about sex, about social ethics, about how to live successfully. This either offends or bores our culture. A renewed focus on the Cross is the only way forward."

 We rely on being culturally relevant and preaching a "feel good" message as opposed to focusing on discipline and discipleship. It is no wonder we are losing our youth to the secular world. They do not have the Biblical knowledge to defend their faith, let alone live it while teaching and discipling others. Since this is the culture of the church, we are setting our youth up for failure. The Berean Call recognized this, and said:

 “During the last three decades, many have experienced Christianity in church settings that major in entertainment rather than in teaching the Scriptures and disciplining those who attend. Thus, they are the products of years of church-growth marketing schemes that have attempted to fill pews with the "unchurched" and keep them coming back by using consumer-oriented tactics. It's a "keep the customer happy," seeker-friendly approach that has critically diluted biblical content as churches compete with the world in order to interest their youth. The outcome has resulted in a shallow Christianity for millions of young professing Christians.”

G. Campbell Morgan, who died almost 70 years ago saw this and said, "When amusement is necessary to get people to listen to the gospel there will be failure.  This is not the method of Christ. To form an organization and provide all kinds of entertainment for young people, in order that they may come to the Bible classes, is to be foredoomed to failure."

We don't need entertainment and a "feel good" gospel; we need the message of salvation through Christ. There is no need to water down the gospel, for ALL scripture is inspired by God and beneficial! Instead of telling sinners how to be saved and live differently, we are teaching them they can continue in their sinful ways. I share recovery, not sobriety with people. It is not enough for someone to simply be sober, for there is so much more to it than not that. Same with being saved, there is so much more to it than simply accepting Christ.

In recovery we have dry drunks, in the church we have plastic Christians. Their foundation is unstable and likely to fall at any moment because they have only started the change and never moved forward with it. They are coming to church not because they want to make a sacrifice and put Christ first and foremost. They come because of what they feel Christ can do for them, or because they are afraid of what may happen if they don't accept Christ and go to church. This is merely accepting.

Ask anyone who works the 12 steps; acceptance is only step 1! There are still 11 steps remaining. Acceptance of Christ with no changes in character or behavior is a scary way to live. We are encouraging the dead faith James talked. He said that you can't have faith without works. Once you have truly accepted Christ, your life will begin to change. You will begin to live differently for all the right reasons. I did not start believing in God and stop drinking, drugging, cussing, smoking cigarettes, having premarital sex and fighting out of fear or because I was entertained.

My life didn't change because the worship team played Mustang Sally or Dave Matthews. It happened because I heard Christian music address my issues in the Third Day song, "Cry Out to Jesus" Brandon Heath's song, "I'm Not Who I Was" and "Forgiven" by Sanctus Real. It didn't change because someone told me how to relate a Harry Potter book to a lesson in the Bible. Instead the associate pastor met with me and introduced me to Lee Strobel's book, The Case for Christ, which examined the historical evidence for Christ.

My life didn't change because the church directed me to a Narcotic's Anonymous group like the one I was used to going to. Instead I was introduced to a faith-based recovery/support group called Celebrate Recovery. It helped me see some things differently. First, it let me see that a lot of people have struggles they cope with in unhealthy ways besides drugs and alcohol. I also realized I am no better or worse than everyone else, because everyone struggles. Finally, it showed me Christians aren't the judgemental hypocrites I had always known them to be.

My life didn't change because the first sermon I heard talked about a movie I had just seen and how it related to the Bible in one way or another. My life changed because I heard  a message of forgiveness and salvation. I was told that "all have sinned." I heard that Paul struggled with doing the right thing, because it was his nature to sin. In fact, Paul said he was the worst of sinners yet was still saved by grace. Then I was told to make my body a living sacrifice and not  to conform to the world. That changed me, not on the surface but at my very core. It gave me hope!

After over 2 decades of debauchery and Agnosticism I was changed because the Holy Spirit gave me hope in the knowledge of Christ's unconditional love and redeeming grace. I did not want to let Him down. The Holy Spirit led me to begin changing my life. I wanted to be like Christ and make him as proud of me as I possibly could. I still do. I know I will never be perfect, but my program has taught me it is progress not perfection. If there is no progress there is something wrong! I don't make progress because I get anything for it, but because I love God and have put Him first.

I think of the love my son  has for me. He does everything he can to emulate what I do and to make me proud of him. He knows what pleases me and he tries to do it. When he can't do what I do or he fails in impressing me, he continues practicing and tries again. He does this simply because he loves me. He loves to see me smile at him and know that I am proud of him. Same reason I strive to do better in my life. I want to know that how I live is pleasing to God.

My life is a gift from God, and how I live my life shows God my gratitude. The problem today is that some churches are not preaching that message. They are using seeker-friendly, "feel good" sermons filled with fluff and acceptance of sins. In using almost doctrine, the unchurched are almost introduced to Christ and are taught how to almost live Christ-like. Because of that many find themselves almost putting Christ first and are almost not of this world. The problem I see today is many will almost get to heaven because they almost got saved.

Better Life in Recovery and Spiritual Spackle Saturday

This blog is to do two things. It is to take a look at where Better Life in Recovery is currently and where it is headed in the future. We will also look at Spiritual Spackle and the direction it is headed in. I need to be consistent in my life and so far that consistency has been missing the past month. Okay, maybe it has been missing this year.

Better Life in Recovery had a great event. I will have a promotional clip of it in April to share. We are looking at having another event late summer in Springfield (location TBD) and during the Fall in Branson (location TBD). My main focus for April is to write the bylaws and file for non-profit status to open us up to more funding opportunities. I will have a blog next month that will truly address what we have, what we are working on and what we need in April.

Now on to the Spiritual Spackle blog itself. I guess  that I do not have the time to write the amount of blogs that I once felt I would be able to. As my life gets busier and busier, some things take a hit. I have a very busy life and my blog has suffered. I was wanting to write 2-3 a week and that is just not possible with the other demands in my life. Because of that, I am going to be writing one blog weekly and several specific blogs once a month. That is what I know I can do.

Every Saturday I will have a blog that will look at either recovery, faith or both. Hence the moniker Spiritual Spackle Saturday, since it will be weekly on Saturdays. There will be a monthly apologetics blog that will be written for The Poached Egg (www.thepoachedegg.net ). There will also be a monthly blog that will look at my progress, or lack of progress at getting into a shape that is not round and attaining a BMI that does not tell me I am morbidly obese.

Those monthly blogs will come out the first week of every month. The apologetics blog on the first Monday of the month and the weight loss blog will be on the first Wednesday of the month, starting in April. There will be other blogs that will be posted if time presents itself and if there are buring, pressing desires to write them.

My focus is on becoming more of a spiritual leader for my family, writing the bylaws so we can file for 501(c)3, advancing Better Life in Recovery, Inc., having more BLiR events and completing the book entitled, Spiritual Spackle. My desire is to have the book completed and either be with a publisher or have a Kickstarter project started to help me get it published by the end of the year.

I look forward to having my first Spritual Spackle Saturday blog to you this Saturday (03/30) and the apologetics blog next Monday (04/01) and the next Weight Loss Wednesday blog on (04/03). Thank you for your continued follows and reading. I am still averaging 2000 hits a month, give or take a couple of hundred. I hope that having a consistent weekly, well written blog will allow me to continue giving you the reader adequate material to build hope, faith and recovery upon.

So, as always, feel free to follow this site, like it on Facebook and share it with anyone you like. I look forward to hearing any feedback you might have about the changes that are happening. Also, my goal is to be a dealer of hope so if you have any questions about faith, recovery, addiction, depression, struggles, etc please ask them and I will address them in upcoming blogs.

Spring Bash 2013

The Spring BLiR Bash is over, we had it on Friday and as promised..............fun was had. At least, that is what everyone has told me so far. We will get to that more later. The car brought in for the car bash was a Cadillac El Dorado that was in good condition bodywise. I got to take a sledge hammer to the windows then turned the sledgehammer over to everyone else, as well as some spray paint.

We started the day by setting up. Thanks to Connor from New Life Church for all of his help in setting up. The entertainers began showing up and doing sound checks. A thank you to Scott from New Life Church for doing sound and media for the event. The car was delivered. We iced the soda and water we were provided and set the sweet stuff out. We went and picked up the pizzas at 5. They had 80 pizzas ready to go when we got there. It was way smoother than I anticipated for that.

As people began to arrive, we had them begin eating. The first thing we did from there was have a martial arts demonstration. That was pretty cool to watch. Seeing some of the board breaks made my body hurt, I know that much. Then came the car bash, which was a huge hit. After the car bash came more games, which was fun. Here is a list of the games we played: Cheeto Head, The Racing Egg Head, Drunk Goggle Course Race, Minute to Win It Kleenex Pull and the Minute to Win It Kleenex/Ping Pong contests. All of the games went well, and there was a lot of group participation.

Then we went inside for the music and testimonies. It was an amazing night. I cannot believe the talent that we had volunteer to play for free. There was Kelsey Snapp with her original songs, which are amazing. Kayleigh Amstutz was uber talented. I heard an adult say she sounded like Norah Jones. Then The Legacy rocked the stage. It was a great night to hear wildly talented people playing awesome music!

Ellie Hagen was the first speaker, between Kelsey and Kayleigh. She is such an inspiration. She has already impacted so many people and is only 12. Darin Mendez spoke between Kayleigh and The Legacy, sharing his story of addiction and abuse to where he is now, living a life of recovery after serving 10 1/2 years in prison. I was the last speaker, coming out after The Legacy. It was weird for me to speak without sharing my testimony. I was there to talk about the evening and to point people in general and youth in particular to a life that is worth living. We talked about how to live a life filled with hope and the ability to work through stressors positively.

We were hoping for 200 plus people, and we did not have that. We did break 100, which wasn't bad for only our second event and the first one we have had in Springfield. I talked to several organizations that didn't make it and I was saddened by that. I also spoke to about 20 youth pastors and only of them showed up. Not sure what that is all about, either. Maybe it was bad timing due to Spring Break or  maybe they already had something scheduled. Not sure, but I do know they missed out.

There was games, music, food, positive messages, prizes and just good old fashioned fellowship. I have heard a lot of good things about the event from everybody so far. I am hoping to get some more feedback for the next one, so that we can see if everything was a hit, if we need to take something out or add something, or if we should use more or less of some of the things we had. The trailer video of the night will be put together in April and as soon as it is completed I will have it posted!! If you have any videos or pictures that you took please share them!

Thank you to everyone who came out and shared their evening with us. Remember, please give us feedback whether it is positive or negative. I want this to reach the most people it can and have the biggest impact it can. We are hoping to have one either the end of summer or beginning of Fall this year. IF YOU WOULD BE INTERESTED IN HELPING OUT, PLEASE CONTACT ME. WE WILL NEED DONATIONS/CASH FOR PRIZES, FOOD, DRINKS, GAME SUPPLIES, PRINTING OF PROMOTIONAL MATERIALS, LOCATION (would like to use a neutral location like Remington's), T-SHIRTS, HATS, BANDS and SPEAKERS as well as VOLUNTEERS!!



Thanks again to:
Kelsey Snapp
Kayleigh Amstutz
The Legacy
Ellie Hagen
Darin Mendez
Henry's in Nixa
Incredible Pizza Company
Martial Arts, USA
Coca-Cola of the Ozarks
Rural Compassion
Alternative Opportunities, Inc.
Mardel's
Ryan Garrett
Taco Bell
New Life Church
Michael Dube
Susan Highley
OTC Printing

BLiR Spring Bash in T-Minus 56 Hours

BLiR Spring Bash is this Friday, the 15th starting at 6 and ending at 10. It will be a very fun, free night. Only cost is if you want to buy an event T-Shirt for $10 to help  us offset the cost of the event. Here is the link for the event page on Facebook. Letting us know you are coming registers you to win a free T-Shirt http://www.facebook.com/pages/Better-Life-In-Recovery/171246616294150?ref=hl#!/events/477488612314182/

So, I am getting ready to put together the final message I will be sharing at the end of the event. I am pretty excited about everything that we have gotten for the event. My hope is that we have the  people there to take advantage of all we have to offer. Here is a list of what we have to offer. We are still awaiting two acts that I will be calling soon to see if they are going to come. In fact, I think I will call them now! Be right back..............

So, I texted one and called the other. We shall see what happens. Personally, I don't think that we need  much more. Here is what we have going on so far. We have multiple games planned that we are going to play. Some of them will be for fun and some for free stuff. Really, most winners will get stuff. We have lots of stuff to give away: tacos, t-shirts, student Bibles, devotionals, study Bibles, CD's, bumpercar tickets at Incredible Pizza and a Nintendo Wii-U! I have not even gotten to play with the new Nintendo and I am giving 2 of them away on Friday.

Now on to the really fun stuff. We have Jeff Cvitak, who is a 6th Degree Black Belt doing a demonstration. I imagine he will make breaking things look really easy and I will try it and break my hand. We will have the DWI googles, so that people can get an idea of why they should never drink and drive! Then there is music by Kelsey Snapp, Kayleigh Amstutz and the Legacy. Amazing teenagers with tons of talent and you get to hear them free!!! Then we have the speakers: Ellie Hagen, Darin Mendez and David Stoecker. Should be an amazing night!

So, what can you do besides hear FREE music, eat FREE food, play FREE games, win FREE prizes and hear a positive message? Help us spread the word. Tell your parents, your kids, your friends, your youth group,  your pastor, your youth pastor, your best friend, your worst enemy.......you get the point. Invite everybody you know. We don't want to have fun by ourselves, we want to share the fun and get a message of hope and confidence to all who attend.

What better way to have fun and spread the power of recovery and Christ than through this event. Hearing these stories will make your faith stronger or maybe move you towards finding Christ. If not, than you will hear the 5 Pillars that everyone, from Christian to Atheist, can use to improve their lives and step away from depression, anxiety, anger and other emotions that lead us to picking up negative habits.

Here is our gratitude list:
Incredible Pizza Company: pizza and some free ride tickets 
Coca-Cola of the Ozarks: soda and energy drinks 
Rural Compassion: bottled water and Little Debbies The Nintendo Wii-U's have been provided by
Alternative Opportunities, Inc.: Nintendo Wii-U
New Life Church: location, clean-up and a Nintendo Wii-U
Henry's Towing in Nixa: Car for the Car Bash
Josh and Sabrina Hernandez: Donation for T-Shirt give away
Mardels: Bible's, Student Books and CDs to Give Away
Ryan Garrett: Study Bibles and Devotionals for give aways
Taco Bell: Free Taco coupons
OTC Print Shop: Best prices in town
Kelsey Snapp: Musical Talent
Kayleigh Amstutz:  Musical Talent
The Legacy: Musical Talent
Ellie Hagen: Speaker
Darin Mendez: Speaker
Jeff Cvitak: Ninja
Jessie Schlemper: MC for the Event
Michael Dube: Video Camera Wizard
Susan Highley: Guidance

Eternally Optimistic

My name is David and I am eternally optimistic. That is how I used to introduce myself in process groups, and often how I would reply when people asked how I was doing. Why? I have found that repeating something over and over again has an ability to make it seem a little more tangible. Optimism seemed like something that I wanted in my life, so I try my best to act and speak as if it were true. Over time it has become true. Why am I optimistic?

Hi, my name is David and I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ who has been blessed with lots of difficulties in my life that I have learned from and that have made me stronger! That is how I introduce myself at the Celebrate Recovery groups that I go to. In that sentence are the reasons that I am optimistic. I will share each one of them with you.

I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ. Why am I grateful? I was raised a Christian, but from 5th grade to the age of 35 I was Agnostic. I became Agnostic because of the hypocrisy and judgemental attitudes that I saw displayed by the Christians that I knew. I struggled with depression and substance abuse. I tried everything I could to get through my depression and be drug/alcohol free and nothing worked. I tried rehab, medication, psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, jail, prison and even suicide. Nothing set me free until I got saved. I have not used once since that day. I  know what it is to be hopeless, to feel that waking up without a hangover is the best my life would ever get. Now I know what it is to have hope, and I am grateful for that!

My life has been blessed with lots of difficulties that I have learned from and that have made me stronger. Wow, that is a mouthful. It took me years to be able to see my life that way. I was sexually abused for the first time when I was pre-Kindergarten by a baby sitter. My parents divorced when I was in 5th grade. I went to live with my grandparents. I was physically abused by my grandfather starting in 5th grade. I was suspended from school for the first time in 5th grade. I started doing drugs in 7th grade. I dropped out of high school. I went to jail for the first time at 17 and prison at 20. I attempted suicide at 25. My dad committed suicide when I was 35.

I got my GED in prison and started college at 29. I have gotten an Associates, a double Bachelors and my Master's in Social Work. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. I have been working in the recovery field for 5 years and have been a counselor for various drug courts the past 4 years. I have a 5 year old son who is amazing. I have an awesome wife that I am in love with. We have a 6 1/2 month old daughter who is the happiest baby I have ever seen. I am active in the recovery community, both at work and in my free time. I write a blog about my faith and recovery and am in the middle of starting my own non-profit, Better Life in Recovery, Inc.

As you can see,  I have had some issues. I have also had some positive things. I realize that if not for the negative things that have happened to me, I would not have a lot of the positive things. In my life I have had both positive and negative things happen to me. Part of optimism, which imparts happiness, is focusing on the positives instead of the negatives. Another huge part is finding the bless in the mess. That is the part that comes with time. Here are a couple of examples.

There have been issues with both of my children at birth. My son spent time in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit), as did my daughter. I did not get to hold my son until he was a week old. My daughter had to go to St Louis to have surgeries twice before she was 2 months old and will have to have at least one more. Now I could focus on the negatives, or I can be happy that they were born. I have gotten to spend time with them. I might not have gotten to hold my son at first, but at least he was alive. My daughter still has at least one surgery, but she is always happy. If she can be, so should I. Be grateful for what you have.

I was abused, addicted to drugs, went to prison, can't count on one hand the number of times I have died and been brought back and all kinds of other stuff people feel are horrific to go through. Some of these I did to myself, and some of them were done to me. I cannot change them, no matter how much I want to. They are not the problem, thank God. If they were the problem, I would be in trouble. Why? Because they all happened in the past. You cannot change the past. You can change how you view the past. That is what I have done.

I have realized that I am good at what I do. I help people who are struggling. I help people who are empty inside, who hate themselves and who feel hopeless. I am good at it, too. I am good at it because I have been there too. I went from hopeless dope fiend to dopeless hope fiend. Going from where I have been and where I am now plus the college education I have received has given me wisdom, book knowledge and insight that many do not have. I use that to help people.

There are those who would argue against that. There statement is usually either "You don't have to have cancer to cure cancer" or "Would you want your psychiatrist to be Bi-Polar and Schizophrenic like you?" Those are good questions that are usually asked by people in the field who have not had the struggles. If what they say is true, then no one should ever do grief and loss counseling as everyone has lost someone. But I will take it a step further. Here is my scenario.

Imagine you are getting your butt kicked. You want to learn how to defend yourself, and there are two different people in your town that teach self-defense. The first guy has on his resume watching fights, reading books on fights and several friends who are fighters. The second on his resume has watching fights, reading about fights, growing up in gangs in south Chicago, being an Army Ranger with 2 tours in Vietnam and having multiple fights in the ring that he was won. Who would you want to teach you how to defend yourself, the first or second one?

I am not saying that someone who has never struggled with addiction cannot be an effective counselor. After all, there is an NFL coach that never played football himself. What I am saying is that it cannot  hurt. I had several counselors in my past, and the person that helped me the most was a counselor who was in recovery himself. I knew that he knew what I was experiencing and that developed a bond that the others had not been able to develop. When you combine overcoming struggles yourself in the past with an education in the field, I think that is a pretty potent combination.

So, that is why I am grateful for my past. It not only made me who I am, which is a father of two amazing children with an incredible wife, but it also gave me the desire to go into the field I am in and be pretty good at it (if I do say so myself). I realize that I have learned from everything I have gone through and in the end it either made me wiser, stronger, or gave me another tool. Generally it did all three of those things.

So in closing, I am eternally optimistic because I realize bad things may happen to me and I might make foolish choices on occasion. Those things may make me sad and they may impact me for quite sometime, maybe forever, but they will never lead me back to where I used to be. I will work through them clean and sober, and will come out of them both wiser and stronger for the journey.

Best of a Bad Situation or Making a Good Situation Better

We have an innate ability to control ourselves. In the program of NA/AA they sometimes talk about powerlessness, and that is a really hard concept for people to understand. By the very nature of the word, it is misunderstood. Powerlessness doesn't mean that I have no power in this situation, instead it means that I only have power over myself in the here and now. I may be powerless, but I am not helpless!

Example, you  have someone who dislikes you that you have tried to reconcile with. They will have no part in making peace. Now imagine that person is a family member or has married into your family. You HAVE to see them on a regular basis. With Christmas just passing, this may have been one of those occasions. You had a horrible time. You knew what to expect, and it happened. They glared at you and whispered about you the whole time. You were miserable!

What went wrong? You allowed someone to rent space in your head........................FOR FREE!!! There is absolutely no reason you should have had a miserable time just because of them. If they want to be angry and miserable, that is on them but that is no reason for you to allow them to have control over your emotions. After all, they are called yours for a reason. You own them and you control them.

The problem was the way you approached the event. There are multiple ways to approach the occasion. You need to pick the right one. We can make a bad situation tolerable and  a good situation horrible, it is all about our approach and the follow through.

1. Build up the event. Continue to tell yourself how horrible it is going to be. Think about how you felt in the past and replay it over and over, leading to anxiety. Then when you get there, focus on just that individual and all that they say. Cower in a corner the entire time, afraid to speak lest you bring their wrath and the scorn from the rest of your family.
2. Get ready for battle. Surely you don't have to take their abuse and the looks they give you. This time, strike first. Rehearse your verbal zingers and practice your dirty looks. This time, you are going to strike first and often. You will win............or not. Best advice I have ever heard was this, "Never get into an argument with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience."
3. Don't go. Stay home and sulk. After all, confrontation is bad and it is sure to happen. It did last time, and history repeats itself.
4. Call all of your family and whine about the person. Talk about the treatment you get from them, and let everyone else know that you are the bigger person and will rise above it all. But make sure they know if they want to take your side, you are all for it.
5. Pray for the person. Remind yourself how much fun you have hanging out with the rest of your family. Repeat the mantra "Be the bigger person." Practice the smile you will give them and make sure to seek them out once to say hi when you get there. If the attitude is still there, move on and enjoy the time you have with everyone else. It may be the last time you will see some of the people you love.

So, which one of these ways will help you to have a good time? Way number one will lead to an unenjoyable evening. The second way will end up with you looking like a complete idiot in front of every one there. Three will lead to you living in a cave and becoming a hermit. Four will lead to your family seeing it is you on their caller ID and not answering the phone. Way five will leave you feeling better and having a good time.

I have found that those who have issues with me do so mainly because of my past. In my past I was a drug addict, convict, thug, hustler, dope dealer, etc. Think of the worst things you could about someone, and they were probably true about me. That said, I have changed. People have a little while to realize that change has occurred before I tune them out.

After getting to know me, some people continue to play judge and jury. That is their choice. I used to let that bother me. That was my choice. I have come to realize that I was letting others attitudes control my own attitude. Spoiler alert, never a wise decision. Now I make a better choice. I remind myself, "People who matter don't judge and people who judge don't matter." I should never allow anyone's disposition to change mine. Attitude from others is only an issue if I let it be one!

Next time you are going to be around someone you do not like or that can't stand you, prepare for success. Remind yourself that you are there to have a good time and spend that time with the people you care about. Be nice to the person that the issue is with, and pray for them before you ever get there. Some of my best friends were people I couldn't stand at one point, and vice versa!

BLiR Spring Bash 2013 update

I am really looking forward to the BLiR (Better Life in Recovery) Spring Bash 2013. It is being held Friday, March 15th from 6-10 at New Life Church. There will be a lot of fun had, in the form of live music played by all teen-age acts. There will be games, a car bash, pizza, prizes, live music, testimonies and a positive message. Best of all, IT IS ALL FREE!!!!

This is were we are at so far. We have 3 musical acts that will be entertaining us and are waiting to hear back from a 4th. So far we have The Legacy, Kelsey Snapp and Kayleigh Amstutz (winner of Springfield's Got Talent and First Night's Last Song Contest). We have several speakers, including Ellie Hagan (winner of American Red Cross Everyday Heroes 2011). Jeff Cvitak, a 6th degree black belt and owner of Martial Arts, USA will be doing a demonstration.

We are having a car bash, with a car generously donated from Henry's! We have pizza and drinks for all who come. Various games will be played, winners having the opportunity to win CD's, T-Shirts, hats and student Bibles. At the end of the night one lucky winner will get a Nintendo Wii-U when we do the drawing. Everyone who attends will be entered in the drawing. We are actually giving away 2 Nintendo Wii-U's, one in the drawing and another to the youth group or organization that brings the most people!!

There will be a few more announcements to come over the next month. Invite your friends, family, church, organization. Invite your enemies. They may need to hear what is talked about too! And did I mention not only can you walk away with a Nintendo Wii-U, but it is all free (unless you want to buy an event t-shirt or hat).

We are still looking for several sponsors. We need a $500 sponsor and several $250 sponsors. You can contact me at www.david.stoecker@gmail.com or www.david@betterlifeinrecovery.com We can put your logo on the flier or you can have a banner at the event. If you sponsor the T-shirts ($ your logo can be on them. Let me know, as the dates we have to order the fliers and t-shirts by is fast approaching.

Here is the event page: http://www.facebook.com/#!/events/477488612314182/ Repost this and share with as many people as you can. It is going to be a great night. Please let me know if you are coming and how many are coming with you. We want to make sure we have enough for everybody that attends!

02/12/2013: My Bipolar Day

I do not say that my day is bipolar to to downplay the dangers or significance of bipolarism. In fact, probably quite the opposite. I actually know a lot about bipolar disorder. My grandmother, an immigrant from Germany, was diagnosed with manic depression psychosis. My father was diagnosed with manic depression and I was diagnosed with bipolarism. They are all names for the same thing. You could say it is a family tradition.

I also have a Bachelors degree in Psychology and a Master's degree in Social Work that was followed up by becoming a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Part of my job is diagnosing mental health disorders, including bipolarism. Not only have I have lived bipolarism, I have studied it.

That said, life can be bipolar. It can go from extreme happiness to extreme depression with the blink of an eye. For me, today is one of those days. I have much happiness as an anniversary and much pain as an anniversary today. It is my choice how I look at the pain and happiness as well as what I focus on. Life happens, and it either makes us better or bitter. Which is a choice you have to make.

I will start with the positive. 6 months ago today, Addison Grace was born. She is one of the happiest babies I have ever been around. Her smile melts my heart. She is a huge blessing, and completed my family. I have an amazing wife, a wonderful son who is a proud big brother, and my angel Addison. She also scares me. People tell me she will have me more wrapped than my son does. If that is possible that is not going to be a good thing.

5 years ago today, my dad lost his struggle with bipolarism. My father committed suicide. I will not get into how  he did it here, but he used 3 different methods that each by itself would have killed him. He wanted to die. I had talked to him the night before and he was as depressed and down as I had ever heard him. The video tape showing him the next morning, shopping for the things he would use to kill him, showed him with a big smile on his face. That is where I find my solace.

My father had yo-yoed for his entire life, struggling with his disorder. He knew as he shopped that his struggle was over. He would finally be released from the roller coaster, and that made him happy. At the time, watching the video at the police station did very little to cheer me up. It helped me later.

At first I was shattered and I struggled. My drinking was already nightly and to the point of shakes if I went too long without drinking. It got worse. I took his suicide personally at first, and made it about me. How could he do this to me. I finally realized that he was miserable and did not see a way out. He was in pain, the kind of pain I can only imagine. He did not want to hurt anymore, yet I made it about me.

When I attempted suicide years ago, it was not about anyone but me. I was miserable and saw no way out of my addiction, so I just gave up. At least dead I could relax, I could be free. It took me a while to remember that and see that it was the same for my dad. He was wrong just like I was, but he felt that was the only way to overcome his struggles. He forgot about the casualties he left behind.

Suicide is not a victimless crime. It leaves people behind that blame themselves, wondering why they were not enough or if they could have said something different that might have changed the outcome. The truth is, the dead are dead. They have moved on. We are the survivors, the ones who are still alive. We need to find a way to move on ourselves.

I eventually gained the realization that his suicide was what he felt was best, and that if he was struggling that much I was glad he wasn't struggling anymore. I realized that my father had given me another tool in my counseling tool belt. I gained empathy for those left behind when a loved one committed suicide I did not have before his death. It also was a major portion of my upcoming rock bottom that saw me step away from alcohol/drugs/cigarettes/pre-marital sex and never look back.

In the end, my father's death helped me get sober. I am sure my wife is grateful, as are my son and daughter. I would not have them if I was still in my addiction. I still miss my dad, but I remember that he did the best he could and I loved him very much for it. I still do. Without him, I am  not the husband and father I am today. It is amazing how sometimes the worst experiences give us the wisdom and strength we need to grow into who we were born to be.

Today I celebrate all that my father did for me, and I focus forward on my amazing daughter. Two of the most important people in my life. I guess today is not that bad after all!

Holman QuickSource Guide to Christian Apologetics Chapter 4: Does God Exist The Moral Argument

In chapter 4 Doug Powell looks at whether or not God exists through axiology, or the study of morality and values. He posits the question, "Are right and wrong objective realities with claims on all people at all times, or are they subjective realities only - matters of opinion?" Today we see how moral argument attempts to show that if moral values are to make any sense, they must be both universal and objective. Further, if they are objective then there must be a source that is "a transcendent, personal being for whom human actions and motives are not a matter of indifference."

Relativism

In our culture, the most popular moral view is relativism. It says that individuals and societies decide right and wrong and that right and wrong vary from person to person and from culture to culture. People create values and they are subject to change instead of being universal and objective moral truths. Relativism comes in three flavors, cultural relativism, conventionalism and ethical subjectivism.

Cultural Relativism

Cultural relativism sees different cultures that appear to have different values. Because of that, there can be no right system of morality or they would be shared by all. For example, the United States allows abortions as a legal option, China actually requires abortions under certain circumstances and Mexico has laws that prohibit abortion. Since these countries all appear to have different morals, there can be no objective reality.

Morals are viewed through observation. So, at best these observations are statements of what is factually observed.  Just because something SEEMS to be a certain way does not mean that they SHOULD be that way. Also, just because there are different answers to the same question does not meant a right answer doesn't exist. If golfers argue over the strokes one of  them took on a hole, they are either both wrong or one of them is right. They cannot both be right.

Lastly, cultural relativism refutes itself. If a cultural relativist claims he has the correct view of moral theory and other views are wrong he is not abiding by his own claims. If he claims there is no universal right view of moral theory, he cannot say that other views are incorrect. Due to that cultural relativism cannot be a proper explanation for morality.

Conventionalism

Conventionalism says morals are decided by each society. Morality is simply what is legal, which can differ from society to society. There is a right and a wrong, which makes it different from cultural relativism. In this instance, if a society said blues eyes were illegal and that those possessing blue eyes would die, there would be nothing immoral about the law. The immoral thing in that society would be those born with blue eyes.

This may sound crazy, but it is exactly what Germany did in the 30's and 40's. Jews were declared to be both subhuman and deserving of death. Since law is law, the concentration camps were not only filled with Jews but with German criminals. The crime the Germans committed was pretesting Nazi policies and laws.

Conventionalism is not about morality, but instead power. The will of the majority defines morality and forces  into submission or imprisons any who oppose. Due to this, people like Abraham Lincoln, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. were criminals. By the sheer moral bankruptcy of conventionalism, it lacks much needed to explain morality.

Ethical Subjectivism

Ethical subjectivism says that individuals decide wrong and right for themselves, and only themselves. "What's true for you is true for you, and what 's true for me is true for me." Another common refrain is, "Who are you to judge me?" No longer does nayone have the right to say what anyone does in either right or wrong. Saving a drowning baby can no longer be praised, and drowning a baby could no longer be reviled.

This view is self-refuting. If all truth is relative, than what are we to do with this universal statement? And if ethical subjectivism is not true for everybody, than why would someone who holds that view attempt to push it onto others? Paul Copan says that claiming a statement holds true for all but you is called the "self-excepting fallacy."

"Torturing babies for fun is wrong," is a great way to expose what is wrong with ethical subjectivism. Obviously, that statement would not be correct as it is stating a universal that others may not agree with. Someone thinking torturing babies for fun is okay behavior has to have their feelings validated by an ethical subjectivist. Beckwith and Koukl state, "The quintessential relativist is a sociopath, one with no conscience."

Objective Morality

Morals are not descriptions of behavior, but instead are prescriptions for behavior. Morals aren't opinions, but instead they contain a sense of obligation and rightness to them. Moral relativism turns out to simply be sets of opinions. Morals are universal and they transcend society, time, and people. Therefore the source must be transcendent and universal. Since morals are authoritative, not telling us what we should do but what we ought to do, they musc come from an authority. This authoritative, transcendent and universal entity we call God.

We have looked at the validity of a God existing through morals, design and cosmological arguments in the past few chapters. In chapter 5 we will sort out which God exists by looking at various existing religions.

Better or Bitter

Today I want to talk about your abilities. Not all of your abilities, but one of them in particular. You may not even realize that you have this ability, but i guarantee you do! It is a super power every one of us possesses. Just like a super power or ability found in a comic book, you can use it for good or evil. What is this super power? I call it the Better or Bitter ability.

What is the Better or Bitter ability? It is the ability to shape situations, to control your outlook on life. By that I mean you have the ability to make a bad situation good and a good situation bad. Can you control other people or the things that life throws at you? Of course not. But you can use your attitude about any given situation to change your perception of that event.

Johnny Mercer sang in the 1940's, "You got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative and latch on to the affirmative don't mess with Mister-In-Between." That is just as true today as it was 70 years ago. This is not always easy to do. It takes some effort on your part. What you allow your focus to latch onto is important. You have to focus on the positives in every situation instead of the negatives. What you focus on generates your perception of the event, and your perception becomes your reality.

How you perceive an event makes a huge difference. My dad committed suicide several years ago. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. I was so mad and angry and only saw what he had done and how it had impacted me. I looked at how it had impacted me negatively, his killing himself. I missed him, I felt that it was somehow my fault. I also thought about how selfish he must be. All of those thoughts kept me hurting and I barely existed for a while. Through time, my perception of  his suicide changed.

I recognized that if my father was in that much pain, I should be glad he is not in pain anymore. He must have been suffering horribly. Secondly, I saw that the event was also another tool in my tool belt. Learning how to cope with his suicide gave me insight and knowledge I never had before that I can now use in helping friends and clients who are struggling. Does it still hurt sometimes? Sure, when we lose loved ones sadness often happens. My hope is that he is in a better place and regardless of where he is, that he is no longer suffering.

The focus of your attention is huge. You cannot stand your brother-in-law but you love your sister. When you have a family get together, instead of focusing on your brother-in-law being there focus on the time you get to spend with your sister. Relish the time you have with the rest of your family. Count your blessings to spend this time with people you love, because you never know when the last time you will see someone is!

Holman QuickSource Guide to Christian Apologetics Chapter 3: Does God Exist The Design Argument

The chapter starts with the Watchmaker analogy. The watchmaker analogy asks a nonsensical question, and here it is: If you are walking through the woods and stumble upon a watch, what do you think? Do you wonder how, over time, bits of metal came together by chance, springs and gears were formed with no apparent purpose, yet over time they all joined accidentally, eventually formed a fully accurate functioning machine that measures time?

The answer to the question above is, of course no. No one stumbles upon a watch and thinks that it evolved. They assume someone must have dropped it. Due to the intentionality and precision of the watch one assumes there must have been an intelligence that first conceived of the watch and how it would work then created it. Yet when some look at nature, with all of its intentionality and precision, they see chance. The Watchmaker analogy is used to argue for design.

The design argument is also called the teleological argument. Telos is Greek for purpose, or ultimate ending. Teleology is the study of a thing's design, or purpose. Plato and Aristotle first used the design argument to argue for the existence of God based on what they observed of the stars. Thomas Aquinas used it as one of his 5 arguments to prove God exists. Today it is called intelligent design, and there are many ways to argue it. Today we will look at 3 of them.

Fine Tuning as Design: The Anthropic Principle

Over time and a lot of study and research, scientists have found the universe to have a great deal of precision. In fact, to alter any of the multiple parameters would destroy the universe. This has led some scientists to argue that for life to exist, their had to be a designer. There are two classes of these parameters: one for the sun-planet-moon system and the other for the universe.

Astrophysicist Hugh Ross, in The Creator and the Cosmos, says that in order for life to be possible there are 35 parameters that must fall within a narrow range. One of those is the expansion rate of the universe. If it is slower than one part in 10 to the 55th power, the universe would collapse before galaxies could form; if it was faster than one part in 10 to the 55th power galaxies could not have formed. Without galaxies we have no starts, with no stars we have no planets forming and without planets we have no life. 

Some of the other parameters are: velocity of light, ration of protons to electrons, ration of electron to proton mass, mass density of the universe, gravitational force constant, electromagnetic force constant, weak nuclear force constant, strong nuclear force constant, ration of electromagnetic force constant to gravitational force constant, velocity of light, fine structure constant and a lot more. Everything falls into an extraordinary balance in order for the whole to exist. 

The second set has 66 parameters to do with our sun-planet-moon system. They are all vital for life to exist on the planet. If the distance from Earth to Sun is any greater, the earth is too cool for a stable water cycle. If it is any closer to the Sun, it is too warm for a stable water cycle. If gravity was weaker, our atmosphere would lose too much water, but if it was stronger it would retain too much ammonia and methane, which are poisonous. If the day was greater, temperature differences would be too great to sustain life. If the day is shorter atmospheric wind velocities would be too great to survive.

Looking at just a couple of the parameters Mr. Ross identified in his book, we begin to realize just how exact things had to be in order for life to exist on Earth. Add to that all of the constants needed for the universe to exist and you begin to see that there may have to be a master's hand behind the creation of it all. It is all much more complex than any watch in existence, and we would never suppose the watch was accidently created so why would we suppose that about life on Earth?

Information as Design: Information Theory and DNA 

To understand this argument we must first understand that there are different kinds of order:

1. Specified Order is a string of repeating information. This is a natural occurring kind of order. Examples of this are crystals and snowflakes. 
2. Unspecified Complexity is non-repetitive and random. This is also a naturally occurring type of order. Examples are the shape of a rock and the wind howling. 
3. Specified Complexity is non-repetitive and non-random. These are not naturally occurring. Examples are the sentence you are reading as well as statues.

A specified complexity is contingent and an unspecified complexity is not. The sentence takes an author and the sculpture needs a sculptor. The sculpture can be any shape the sculptor imagines. Information, on the other hand is communication between two minds that share a common language. That language must exist and be understood prior to any ability to communicate. Every language is a set of tokens and a set of conventions for the use of the tokens.

DNA is an agent housing a set of tokens used to store and convey information the body needs to develop and function. Before the DNA could be useful, there had to be a language that already existed. Genetic code had to exist prior to the existence of DNA. It also had to come from outside of the DNA. It didn't come from the DNA any more than a bowl of alphabet soup can say "I love you." It may spell it out but there is no intentionality.

The easiest way to explain the information contained in DNA is that it was imposed on the DNA by a mind, with intentionality. Naturalism claims that all things are produced by non-directed, random forces. This would seem a moot argument when used to explain how information was included in DNA and how a genetic code language exists at all. You must first have an informer to have information. 

Complexity as Design: Irreducible Complexity

Irreducible complexity says there are some things that are at the simplest level they could be and still function. Biochemist Michael Behe says, "An irreducibly complex system cannot be produced directly by slight, successive modifications of a precursor system, because any precursor to an irreducibly complex system that is missing a part is by definition nonfunctional." Basically he is saying that there are things that had to be created, because they could not have by chance or through undirected forces have evolved.

Behe uses a mousetrap to make his point. He asks which part of the mousetrap can be removed and still leave a functioning mousetrap? The answer is nothing. You could not have first a piece of steel that caught a mouse, than added a piece of wood which caught a few more, than added a spring to catch ore. A mousetrap is made of individual pieces that when separated are useless at catching mice. The mousetrap could therefore not have evolved, but had to first have been conceived by an intelligent mind with the will and power to act. 

In Behe's book, Darwin's Black Box,  he looks at various cases of irreducible complexity, such as the cilium, bacterial flagellum, antibodies, animal cells and blood clotting. All of these, he argues, are irreducibly complex. They are basic biological machines, but they are each useless if apart from the whole. 

In conclusion, the design argument doesn't prove that Christianity is the only truth. Rather, it looks at the God we find in the Bible being consistent with the intelligent designer defined by these arguments. There are several religions that describe an intelligent designer. As we have seen, the way things are precise and exact, from life on Earth to the balance of the universe, point us to a designer. Next time we will look at Chapter 4, which is the moral argument for the existence of God.

As featured on the Poached Egg: http://www.thepoachedegg.net/the-poached-egg/2013/01/holman-quicksource-guide-to-christian-apologetics-chapter-3-the-design-argument.html

BLiR Spring Bash: What We Need to Make it Successful

The BLiR (Better Life in Recovery) Spring Bash is coming up in less than 7 weeks. It is going to be an awesome, fun opportunity for all that come out. We are planning on having games, a car bash, prizes/giveaways, food, live music, several testimonies and a positive message. Did I mention IT IS ALL FREE!!!!!

This is what we have so far. We have a band and two solo artists that will be performing. Who they will be announced next week. We have several speakers that will be performing. We have the car for the car bash donated (thanks to Henry's in Nixa), as well as some of the prizes we will be giving away during the event. We have a 6th degree black belt that will be doing demonstrations, as well as goggles that simulate being intoxicated. We are working on the food, and should have it locked up in the next couple of weeks. I am also meeting with a group of youth pastors tomorrow evening to let them know about the event.

What we need: 

1. 4 Sponsors of $500 each (will have logo for their business or church on all printed promotional material)
2. A minimum of 100 T-Shirts and 25 hats with the BLiR logo (if donated will have sponsors logo on them)
3. A minimum of 2 major prizes, such as the new Nintendo Wii-U (One of them is for a grand prize and the other is for the youth group of the church who brings the most people) (will have logo for their business or church on all printed promotional material)
4. One more band for the event (we are using bands 
5. Spreading the message so that we can impact as many people as possible with the event
6. Prayer

If you can help with any of this, please let me know as soon as possible. Contact me at David@betterlifeinrecovery.com We would like to have the flyers printed, and we need sponsors so that we can put your name or logo on them. This event has the ability to reach several hundred youth. Help us make it a success!!!!

BLiR (Better Life in Recovery) Event March 15th: What is the Event

On March 15th, we will be having the second BLiR event at New Life Church from 6-10. The first one was in Ash Grove last Fall. The first BLiR event was a success. It was a success because fun was had, things were given away, food was eaten, music was listened to and there was a positive message heard by those who attended. Next week I am meeting with a group of youth pastors to talk to them about the upcoming event so they will want to not only attend with their youth, but become a part of it and contribute to and/or hold future BLiR events.

So, here is what I am going to tell them in the 5 minutes that I have:

BLiR is a fun, free time for youth and young adults to come out and enjoy themselves.  We provide games that range from single person Minute to Win It competitions to group games where those playing have an opportunity to win things. They can win Youth/Student Bibles, Youth devotionals, worship CDs, T-Shirts and we are hoping to give away a Nintendo Wii-U gaming system and/or Dr Dre Beats headphones.

We are going to have a car bash and a 6th Degree Black Belt doing some demonstrations. We will have goggles that simulate the effects of drinking for people to wear. We are going to have several bands playing worship music and positive covers live. We will have free food and drinks. Our idea is to have a lot of fun things to do and free stuff to win so that we have a lot of youth and young adults come out for the event.

Now that we have them here, we come to the main reason for the event. We have real people with real problems who have found real answers. We have several testimonies from people who have faced severe struggles in their lives: being bullied, physically abused, sexually abused, not fitting in, depression, their parents divorcing. Those struggles led them down different paths.

One overcame her struggles by turning to Christ, and has been sharing her struggles with other youth ever since. Others, when faced with life consuming issues turned to: eating disorders, cutting, sleeping around, drugs, alcohol, violence and ended up attempting suicide, getting kicked out of school and/or going to jail. In the end though, they have all found hope and recovery through Christ. 

Our goal is to help transform lives by sharing testimonies from real people who had real problems and found real answers through Christ. We want those who come to the event to leave knowing that everyone struggles, but that using substances and developing negative coping skills is not the way to deal with them. We want them to know it is okay to share their struggles with other people and that there is a better life to be found through faith in Christ.

We end the evening with a positive message and an altar call. The night becomes all about not becoming like those around you and falling into temptation and peer pressure but instead living a life that guides others to Christ.

The focus of this event is to not only have fun, but to share Christ and recovery with everyone there. We want to give youth pastors and parents an opportunity over the weekend to talk to their kids about what they heard and engage in more open dialogue with them about the pressures they may face or are already facing. We hope that by talking openly about serious, sometimes taboo issues kids gain the courage to talk about them too.

That is what Better Life in Recovery is all about, and I hope that you bring your youth to the event. In fact, I hope that you can help  us with some of our needs. We do this event at no cost to all who attend, but there are costs and needs. We will work on the food and drinks for the kids. We will have the volunteers to supervise and run the games we play. We need things to give away: Bibles, CDs, gift cards and the big prizes. We need one more band to play. We need money to order BLiR T-shirts and hats as well as for the printing of flyers for the event. It would be nice to give the bands an honorarium, too. We need you to help us promote the event, as well as the ones we will have in the future.

Most importantly we need your prayers. Prayers that we can bring the message of hope to those who are struggling. Prayers that we can bring Jesus, in fact that we can represent Jesus, to all that attend. Pray that through this event we have an impact on those who come. Pray that we act as the hands and feet of God and give a message of faith that falls on open ears and open hearts.

That is what I am going to say to the pastors. The same is true for everyone else. If you would like to donate services, items, time or money please contact me at david.stoecker@gmail.com . If you have children, are a youth pastor, teacher, teen-ager, junior high, high school or college student please attend and tell your friends. This is going to be a lot of fun, and the more people there the more opportunity we have to make an impact. Most of all, please pray for this to have an impact in the lives of the people who come! Thanks!!

NEEDS

1. Food (Hot Dogs, Burgers, Buns, Chips, Sweets, Water, Tea,etc.)
2. Worship CDs, Student/Youth Bibles, Student/Youth Devotionals/Books
3. Nintendo Wii U
4. Dr Dre Beats Headphones
5. Cash for printing T-Shirts, Hats and Flyers for the event, possibly an honorarium for the bands/speakers as well as money for the above items
6. A Band (Teenagers who play worship and positive covers)
7. Sharing the upcoming event with others and letting us know who is coming
8. PRAYER

From Shack to Temple: 2 Weeks In

So, I like the way things are going this time. I am struggling to get to the gym as much as I would like to. It is also difficult for me to guage my workouts this time, as I am working out like I never have before. The new schedule is kind of rough on me, also since I am at work two days a week from 730 AM to 930 PM then have to be back to work at 730 AM the following morning each time. We will look more at what I am doing this time, but first this is how I am doing.

I followed the earting plan the first week to the T. I stayed under in calories every single day. I ate a lot of lean meat: pork, chicken and top sirloin. I even had some home made salmon patties. I ate a lot of vegetables and fresh fruit and had mashed potatoes a couple of times. For snacks I had popcorn, yogurt and ended most days with a double serving of neopolitan ice cream. I drank a ton of water, at least 10 glasses a day and sometimes more and didn't drink anything else other than the morning cup of coffee black or the protein shake post workout. I lost 7 pounds the first week.

The second week I did well, but the weekend was a wash. The week was the same, but my weekend was not good. My best man had a birthday party at Old Chicago, and I chose to be bad. I gained 3 pounds, but I am okay with that. I still lost 0.6 pounds for the week and was down 7.6 pounds for the 2 week period. Could have been better, but I am really happy with that.

Exercise I am changing up, too. I have been lifting heavy weights with low reps in the past. This time around, I am rethinking them. The last two weeks I have only worked out two days each week, on Monday and Friday, and I am adding a workout this week on Wednesdays. Here is what I have done for work outs so far.

On Monday I do 5 sets of 5 flat bench press at 225 supersetted with DB Flyes with 35's doing 8 reps. Then I do 5 sets and 5 reps of 2 exercises, pulldowns to the front then a pulldown leaning to the chest. This will stay the same, only the weight will go up. Then I do 3 sets of 5 reps of what is called the bear complex. I do it with 115, and one rep consists of a clean to a front squat to a shoulder press to a back squat to a shoulder press. Eventually I will work up to 5 sets of 8 then I will go up in weight.

On Friday I do a complex where I never set down the bar. I put 135 on the barbell then I do 5 bent rows, 5 cleans, 5 front squats, 5 military presses, then 5 squats. I do 3 sets of this, with the hopes of making it to eventually do 5 sets of 8 reps. I then put 115 on the bar and do 5 barbell curls, 5 skull crushers then I do 5 sit ups with the 115 for 5 sets. I am where I want to be on this one.

On both days if time is good I will do 15 minutes on the elliptical. I am going to add a Wednesday workout that will consist of heavy legs, calves, shrugs and abs with cardio thrown in. I am hoping that this will help put me into a good place for the workouts. I feel weird doing so little weight, but I am happy to not be hurting myself and I probably need better cardio, not to get stronger.

In two weeks I have dropped from 238.6 to 231 pounds and ate pretty much whatever I wanted. I am pretty content with that. If you have any feedback or advice on the eating or workouts please share them. I would love to gain more knowledge as I go. By the way, I have found MyFitnessPal to be a very helpful app for what I am doing.

The secret so far is not telling myself no to the things I want. It is instead seeking moderation, which MyFitnessPal helps me do. I can have ice cream, but I am eating a serving of it instead of half of it. When you deny yourself something, you often end up cheating. When you cheat, you get depressed. When you get depressed, you comfort eat more. "Since I already blew it, I might as well eat all of it."

So, don't call them cheats. Call it eating in moderation. Watch what you eat, use and app like MyFitnessPal or join Weight Watchers, who also have a great app. Weight Watchers also gives you accountability with their meetings and online forums. With MyFitnessPal you can have friends who see what you put in, from the food ate to exercise completed to weight gained and lost. That is a great feature. See you in a couple of weeks, as we continue to look at turning our shacks into temples!

Lance Armstrong: I'm Not Sorry

Lance Armstrong went on Oprah to finally admit that he used steroids. Of course, we already knew that. That is why he was stripped of his Tour de France victories and his bronze medal from the Olympics. It was no surprise that when he had an opportunity to admit to what people already knew he was willing to do that. He stated the blatantly obvious in his interview. There are some other things he needs to take credit for, and this was his chance. Here is a look at how he did.

He had multiple team mates and friends state he was using steroids. The United States Anti-Doping Association investigated him. Each time someone told the truth about him, or tried to, he would defame their character and often took them to court. He decimated these people, denouncing their word and shouting about their dishonesty from every BULLY pulpit he could find. He destroyed the reputations and careers of those who told the truth. Instead of an apology to the specific people he has maligned, he says that there were so many he forgets who they all are.

Lance Armstrong is a cheater and he has the chance to admit it. He had 7 consecutive Tour de France victories. He says that he did not cheat, because cheating is having an unfair advantage over others and everybody was doing it. Then he says that clean riders are heroes. How can there be clean riders if everyone is using? By his very statement he admits to there being non-doping riders. So he is saying that using performance enhancing drugs and blood doping did not give him an unfair advantage over those not using. Of course it did, so he cheated. He does not even have the decency to admit it.

Not only did he cheat, he left other riders in his wake. Those who were clean and rode with him he bullied into using. The riders on the tour who did not use lost to a rider who had an unfair advantage. I am sure he left many a rider with shattered dreams. Someone other than him should have won the Tour de France and had that dream they had worked their entire lives for come to fruition. The same about the medal. Someone lost out on getting to stand on the platform and represent themselves, their family and their country by getting a bronze medal.

Lance Armstrong is a thief. Not only did he steal the victories and glory, he also stole money. There is prize money, money from sponsors, book deals, endorsement deals that all could have gone to someone else. Let me restate that, should have gone to someone else. He stole from them, no different than sliding his hand into their wallets or breaking into their houses and taking it. Yet there appeared to be no true remorse in the interview.

Finally, how about cancer itself. He had a lot of people that looked to him as a hero, a paragon of virtue. They used him, from overcoming cancer to being a success and doing it all while being clean, as the inspiration they needed to fight cancer. Now, he has been tarnished and those who put him on a pedestal will suffer. The LiveStrong Foundation also took a serious hit in credibility and has lost donors. Hopefully people will remember that just because he was the face doesn't mean the foundation isn't a great non-profit. Sad that so many people are affected by the actions of one man.

It would appear that Lance Armstrong is sorry for one thing. He is sorry that he got caught. His lack of true ownership would lead one to that conclusion. Also not accepting the damage he has done to so many people. Seriously, he never even admitted that what he did was cheating???? This guy has some nerve. Sure we are all human. I have done many things that were low and despicable. I have also owned up to them in person and publicly. That is what a person who finds morals, principles and an ethical code does.

Lance appears to be attempting to con everyone again. That is just my opinion. But that tends to be the opinion I listen to. Saying your sorry then blaming everyone and everything else for your choices shows how you really feel. For his sake, I hope that he truly begins to show remorse. This first interview showed that remorse is not in his vocabulary yet. Neither is accountability. Get a conscience and WORK A PROGRAM that doesn't involve lying and cheating!

How to Be a "Go" Christian

What does being a “Go” Christian truly mean? Is it knowing the Bible? attending church or small groups? tithing? wearing a suit/dress to church? sitting in the front row and singing the loudest with your hands raised in worship? I would call these ingredients we can use in our life, but not the recipe for being a “Go” Christian.

To be a “Go” Christian, first we have to say “No!” We have a cross to bear, and that cross is to say no to ourselves. We must deny ourselves immoral, worldly things. We have a sinful nature, yet we must be willing to deny our basic instincts. We must die to sin—even the thought of sinning—as the early Christians did.

Some may think I am talking about not being able to have fun. If this is how you feel, you do not understand what I am saying, nor do you truly understand the sacrifice Christ made on the cross. A life without sin gives us joy. Honestly, we are giving up very little for so much. Christ did not “try His best” to die on the cross; He accomplished it. Why should we be satisfied with not giving our best?

We must also be willing to talk about Christ and our beliefs even when it is not popular. We need to take a stand for our faith and for what we believe everywhere we go: home, school, work, events, restaurants, vacation, and our neighborhoods.

When we take up our cross, we become dead to the world. Before I was a Christian and began a relationship with God, I was a sinner. I lived to fulfill my will, to make myself happy. I smoked cigarettes, drank to inebriation almost every day, fought all the time, had premarital sex, lied, cursed, and listened to music and watched movies that would make a sailor blush. I lived for me! It was all about worldly achievement and self-fulfillment. I was an example of how not to live your life.

However, since the day I gave my life to Christ, I have not smoked a cigarette, gotten drunk, had sex outside of marriage, or gotten into a fight outside of a ring. I now listen only to worship music because it puts me in a great mood. I pray in between sets at the gym on a consistent basis, and I wear worship shirts almost exclusively. I read the Bible daily and pray all the time. I am by no means perfect, but I make an effort every day to not succumb to my sinful nature. It is a start, and I can build on that.

Being a “Go” Christian means I will never do or say anything that I will have to tell my son not to repeat. It means I realize I represent God, my church, my wife and son, my employer, my deceased father, my pastor, and Celebrate Recovery everywhere I go. I will not get caught up in gossip; I will not curse; I will not yell or lie. Instead, I will talk to others about the changes the Holy Spirit has made in my life. To the best of my ability, I will live to show I love Christ.

I do not intend to boast here. Rather, I am simply saying I could not live this way without the Holy Spirit in me and the sacrifice Christ made. The cross symbolizes pain and suffering, yet we think Christ wants us to live in comfort and ease. Our lives should be living sacrifices to Christ, and that is not always easy. With that said, however, since the night I turned my life over to Christ and gave Him control, it has gotten a lot easier.

Are you a “Go” Christian? To determine that, ask yourself these questions:

1.   Is my life about self-fulfillment or Christ fulfillment?

2.   Do I live as one who is in this world or as one who is out of this world?

3.   Am I ashamed of my faith, or do I profess the gospel to all who would hear it?

4.   Is my life a living sacrifice to Jesus?

If you answered yes to these questions, congratulations! You are a “Go” Christian, so keep it up. If you did not answer yes, I would recommend a lot of praying, reading the Bible, and spending time with those who are where you want to be. God bless you in your journey!

featured on the Global University Blog at: http://www.harvest365online.org/2013/01/how-to-be-a-go-christian/

BLiR Event Spring 2013: Brainstorming Session

Yesterday was the brainstorming session for the BLiR Spring BREAK event that will be held at New Life Church in March. I went in to the session with several goals for it. The first was to establish the date and time we will be having it. Then next was to talk about music, because we want to have several bands. Then we have the food issue to discuss, because kids need to eat. Next up was entertainment, games and things for the kids to do. Finally, we needed to talk about the money side of it. We need to have giveaways and prizes for games and just for the sheer joy of it!

Here is what we do. We have FREE food, FREE live music and FREE fun stuff to do. We play some games, give stuff away and have a couple of testimonies from people who have struggled with life consuming issues and overcame them. We share hope with those who may be struggling themselves and let them know that a better life exists and where that better life is found. Our aim to is to reach out to those who are hurting and lift them up. Below is what we are doing and what we need to make the event in March successful.

1. The BLiR event will be on the 15th of March from 6-10.
2. We are talking to several singers and bands in the area. 
3. Food we will talk to New Life Church about. We have the men's group that will be doing the grilling. Hopefully between the church and the women's group we can come up with the food. Thinking hot dogs, hamburgers, chips, condiments, sweets stuff, tea and lemonade.
4. We are talking about having several games. The ones for sure will be Minute to Win It, a Paper Rock Scissors Tournament and a Car Bash. 
5. Money is one of the major ones we have to work on.  

Now we look at the needs for the event. We are working on the bands, but if there is a youth groups band from a church in Springfield/Nixa/Ozark area that might play let me know. We will need food, the items listed above. If you would like to donate any food please let me know. The games we will take care of and I have several places to call for the car. If you have a personal contact please let me know. Now we get to the hard stuff.

We need things to have for prizes and giveaways. I would love to have gift cards to local restaurants and coffee shops.  Maybe gift cards for iTunes. We need a couple of big ticket items to give away, such as an XBox 360 Kinect or the new Nintendo Wii U. New CDs, preferably worship music. Also books, from student Bible's to study/inspirational books aimed at youth/young adults. Finally, we need cash for printing flyers, T-Shirts, hats and incidentals. If you can help with any of these things, please contact me. 

Finally, the most important needs for the event to run smoothly and do what it is intended to do. If you have any pastors, youth pastors, high school or college students and/or connections spread the word. Tweet this, Facebook about it, blog about it, copy off the flyers once they are available and put them up where ever you can. Then pray. Pray for this event to be able to reach those who are struggling and that it gives them the hope they need to overcome what they are dealing with in their lives.

Here is the link to the event on Facebook. If you are coming let us know: http://www.facebook.com/events/477488612314182/?fref=ts

Thanks for your support and prayers. We appreciate them!! Below is the promo for the BLiR event we did last Fall:

Holman QuickSource Guide to Christian Apologetics Chapter 2: Does God Exist? The Cosmological Argument

The word cosmos is a Greek word that refers to everything that exists. Not just the universe, but all its constituents. This argument for God says that because everything exists, there must be a God who brought it into existence. The proposition of this argument is that nothing could or would exist without God. God's existence is possible without the universe, but the reverse is not true. God is a necessary being. The universe cannot exist without God, for the universe in not a necessary being and therefore cannot account for its own existence.

There are 3 different philosophical arguments and a scientific example that are used to support the cosmological argument. We will first look at the philosophical arguments; Kalam, Thomist and Leibnizian.

The Kalam Cosmological Argument

The Kalam argument attempts to show that the universe had to have a beginning and is therefore not eternal. In order to comprehend this argument we must first understand the two types of infinities, which are concrete (actual) infinities and abstract (potential) infinities.

Potential infinites are numbers that increase by adding another number, such as seconds on a stopwatch. Once the time starts, it will add numbers until it is stopped. If never stopped, it could potentially go forever. That said, it can't be infinite. A potential infinite is always a finite set to which another increment can be added. Therefore, it is not infinite.

Actual infinites are sets of numbers to which nothing can be added because by their very nature they are infinite. They already contain all numbers do nothing can be added. If that is difficult to grasp it is for a good reason. Actual infinites do not and cannot exist in a physical world. If they did it would create absurdities.

So we know that time cannot be infinite. If time were infinite than now would not exist. Imagine now is a destination and you are at that destination. If you are awaiting a train at your destination and the train tracks are infinitely long, how long would it take for the train to get to you. Obviously, never since the train cannot reach the end of its track. Infinite time/numbers can never become finite and finite numbers/time can never be infinite.

So if time is finite it had to have a beginning. If it had a beginning than something had to initiate it. An effect MUST have a cause. The Kalam argument lets us know that the universe had a beginning and the beginning was caused by an uncaused cause. The question is, "Is the cause personal or impersonal?" The cause must be able to create. It cannot rely on anything for its own existence. It must be transcendent, or exist apart from creation. It also requires an intention or will to create. Could an impersonal being have these attributes? Of course not, and if that is the case then the universe was caused by a powerful, transcendent and personal being. That being is God.

The Thomist Cosmological Argument

Thomas Aquinas utilized 3 forms to prove his cosmological argument in Summa Theologica. The first way was from motion. He noted that since motion is an effect and needs a cause, than you could not have a infinite chain of one thing moving another. Without an agent to open the music box, although it the box may be wound it would remain closed, silent and motionless. Further, to say it needs no one to open the box would in turn lead us to believe the music box used wood and metal to create itself. Because a builder is needed, the builder would be God. 

The second form was called "efficient cause." Nothing in existence does not owe its existence to nothing. Everything owes its existence to something. Nothing creates or causes itself. Existence is then an effect of some cause that was an effect of a cause, etc. But that cannot be an infinite loop. There must be a first cause that was self-existent (not relying on anything for existence) to explain any cause existing. That first cause is God. 

Third was the possibility of existence. Nothing we see has to exist. All we know could have just as well not existed. That leads all we see to be possible but not necessary. But for everything to exist, there must be one thing that is necessary. A necessary being must exist to account for all the possible beings in existence. That necessary being is called God. 

The Leibnizian Cosmological Argument

The famous philosopher G.W.F. von Leibniz asked, "Why is there something rather than nothing?" His answer was found a bit differently than the others we have talked about. Cause was not the basis of his argument. Instead he argued that there must be a sufficient reason for the universe or it would not exist. Caused things only happen with a reason. He said that all caused things, before they existed and outside of their existence, had a prior reason. As his contemporaries saw that there could be no infinite chain of causes, he said that there could no infinite chain of reasons. The universe couldn't explain its existence. Instead, the reason must be found in a being outside of the universe who is both logically necessary and self-explanatory. That being is God.

Science: The Big Bang

Edwin Hubble discovered light from galaxies distant from ours appeared differently than expected. He found the light was shifted to the red side of the spectrum. The Doppler effect was then applied, which explained the red shift in the light spectrum occurring because the stars are all moving away from each other. If the wavelengths are shorter, which would represent an object moving towards you, there is a blue shift in light. If they are moving away from you, this causes the wavelengths to lengthen which causes the red shift.

So if the universe is expanding as the red shift represents, then surely it has a point of origin. And other discoveries were made that pointed to the expansion occurring slower now than it did at its inception which could have happened due to an explosion. That explosion is how the universe was began, and it all started with a  big bang according to this theory. There are a couple of challenges to this theory.

Steady state theory says that the universe will and has always existed. This runs into several problems. For starters the observations supporting the big bang theory argue against steady state. Secondly, this would require actual infinites. is the fact there is a now, which makes an infinite number of preceding moments an impossibility as described earlier. 

The oscillating theory supposes the universe will stop expanding and recede back to a singularity which will explode and begin the cycle again. It says that the cycle has and will repeat forever. This theory also requires a series that has always been and always will be, or actual infinites. It is also limited by the second law of thermodynamics, which states that a closed system always decrease in energy and be less than it was at its beginning. So, the universe must have had a beginning and the energy it began with cannot be recreated unless acted upon by an outside force.

So the big bang appears to be the best theory we have. But if it was an explosion (or expansion), what caused it to explode? What exploded and where did that come from? An explosion is an effect and effects need a cause. They cannot cause themselves. So the matter that exploded needs a creator and the bang needs a banger. The cause must be found outside of the universe because the universe didn't cause itself. What does the cause need?

It needs to be transcendent in order to be outside of the universe. It must be powerful to cause all that exists to come into being out of nothing. The cause has to be uncaused, for if it is an effect we then have a chain of infinite regress which is nonsensical. Finally, it must be non-contingent, or relying on nothing for its existence.

Even if we have an entity that has all of the above requirements, we are still missing one ingredient. Just because it exists doesn't mean the universe has to exist. It still has to have a will to make the universe happen, an intentionality. A car that is in perfect  operating order, good battery, working engine, full of gas and properly connected electrical system has all of the conditions to run but yet will sit silent forever. It has one more need, a driver.

A driver is not part of the car, does not rely on the car to exist, has the will to start and direct the car, power to start the car and may have even create the car. But the driver is separate. So too does our universe need a driver, an agent who was capable of either creating or not creating our universe. That is what we call God. The Cosmological Theory does not identify what or who God is, only that He exists. In the Cosmological Theory we see that God is necessary!

Join me next time as we look at the Design Argument from the Holman QuickSource Guide to Christian Aplogetics.

From Shack to Temple 2013 - No More Cheating!!

I am tired of this yo-yo I am on. I keep telling myself I am going to lose weight, just to lose it then gain even more back. Last year I ended up losing about 10 pounds for the year. My goal was 60. I am done playing around this year. It is time to take it serious. I am changing everything that I do. I am changing my workouts, the way I eat and a whole lot more. 

My workouts are changing. They have been workouts to gain muscle, with only one or two body parts worked a day. I would then end with a 30 minute cardio routine that was generally a quick walk. That work out is no more. I will be hitting a set body part, like chest. Then I will end with a complex, such as the bear complex (It is from CrossFit). It is a whole body workout that is done without ever setting down the barbell or dumbbells you are using. If you have never done them, complexes are murder!

When it comes to my diet I am looking to put in a lot of water, lean meat and vegetables with egg whites, oatmeal, greek yogurt, almonds and cottage cheese thrown in. I will be having fresh fruit on occasion for sweets and chocolate milk and protein after my workouts. I will have coffees with no creamer, which is different. I will not be comfort eating, unless it is a piece of meat. My late night snack will be cottage cheese and greek yogurt, with the occasionally popcorn. 

The big change diet wise involves my weigh-in day. I will be weighing in on Mondays. In the past I have weighed in on Wednesdays. This was so that I had an opportunity to lose the weight I had gained from cheating over the weekend. This time, no cheats. I am following a stricter diet this time around. 

This is an addiction like any other, only a little harder to break. It is the same because when you are trying to quit using a drug, you do not allow yourself to have a little. Think of an alcoholic telling himself, "I will just have one or two shots tonight." He is sure to be unsuccessful. Maybe not tonight, but one of the nights he allows himself to cheat he will go on a binge. I know this from experience. One Girl Scout cookie is too many, and a boxful is never enough. 

It is different because you have to eat. I think this makes it harder. When I got off of meth, I did not have to do meth. In fact, I found I was addicted to more and stopped taking anything that was addictive.  I knew better than to chance it. With alcohol, you do not have to drink. I can go to B-Dubs (Buffalo Wild Wings) to watch the fights and have a tea. I just leave a big tip at the end of the night for the tea. With food, we have to eat and that is difficult to do. I have to not comfort eat and watch portions ALL of the time. It is rough, but I WILL do it this year.

I am just getting started, but you can bet that at the end of January you will get a workout routine I have followed as well as a better look at the diet. I am going to be happy to share, and the blogs will be coming every couple of weeks. This morning I started off at 238.6 pounds. My goal is to lose 1 to 2 pounds a week. The best is yet to come........off. I cannot wait to break the 200 pound barrier, and I will do it this year!! I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength!!

If you are also trying to lose weight, please share your tips, goals and progress with me. Friend me on the app MyFitnessPal, leave comments on the blog or on Facebook. I would love to have accountability partners in this endeavor!