Better or Bitter

Today I want to talk about your abilities. Not all of your abilities, but one of them in particular. You may not even realize that you have this ability, but i guarantee you do! It is a super power every one of us possesses. Just like a super power or ability found in a comic book, you can use it for good or evil. What is this super power? I call it the Better or Bitter ability.

What is the Better or Bitter ability? It is the ability to shape situations, to control your outlook on life. By that I mean you have the ability to make a bad situation good and a good situation bad. Can you control other people or the things that life throws at you? Of course not. But you can use your attitude about any given situation to change your perception of that event.

Johnny Mercer sang in the 1940's, "You got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative and latch on to the affirmative don't mess with Mister-In-Between." That is just as true today as it was 70 years ago. This is not always easy to do. It takes some effort on your part. What you allow your focus to latch onto is important. You have to focus on the positives in every situation instead of the negatives. What you focus on generates your perception of the event, and your perception becomes your reality.

How you perceive an event makes a huge difference. My dad committed suicide several years ago. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. I was so mad and angry and only saw what he had done and how it had impacted me. I looked at how it had impacted me negatively, his killing himself. I missed him, I felt that it was somehow my fault. I also thought about how selfish he must be. All of those thoughts kept me hurting and I barely existed for a while. Through time, my perception of  his suicide changed.

I recognized that if my father was in that much pain, I should be glad he is not in pain anymore. He must have been suffering horribly. Secondly, I saw that the event was also another tool in my tool belt. Learning how to cope with his suicide gave me insight and knowledge I never had before that I can now use in helping friends and clients who are struggling. Does it still hurt sometimes? Sure, when we lose loved ones sadness often happens. My hope is that he is in a better place and regardless of where he is, that he is no longer suffering.

The focus of your attention is huge. You cannot stand your brother-in-law but you love your sister. When you have a family get together, instead of focusing on your brother-in-law being there focus on the time you get to spend with your sister. Relish the time you have with the rest of your family. Count your blessings to spend this time with people you love, because you never know when the last time you will see someone is!