I am a Soft, Weak-minded Delusional Christian

Recently I was reading some articles on the problems with Christianity and reasons to abandon the Christian faith and I realized something. I am viewed by many atheists, agnostics and secularists to be soft, weak-minded and delusional. I have faith in a religion that I believe in for many reasons that I did not know. I act and think in ways that I did not realize until several authors were kind enough to inform me of them. Below are several of the reasons that they listed:

Christians believe in God out of Fear

 I had no idea that is why I had become a Christian. In fact, I can honestly say that Hell and fear had nothing to do with it. I became a Christian because I was hopeless and found hope. I had lived a life that was filled with anger and violence. I associated with psychopaths and was actually diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder as well as a masochist and sadomasochist.

Trust me, fear and cowardice are the very last reasons that I would have become a Christian. I would argue that I was agnostic out of fear and cowardice. The thought that I might have to pay for my transgressions or be held accountable for the lives I destroyed and the carnage I left behind kept me mired in addiction. As a Christian I live my life knowing one day I will stand before God and be held accountable for everything. Accountability is a huge part of a Christian's life.

Christianity Prays on Innocent People

I had no idea that I was innocent and prayed upon. Instead, I was a violent criminal addicted to drugs and alcohol that manipulated and used everybody that I came into contact with. I have done things in my life that make me the dregs of society and I did it all knowingly. I used to jokingly say, "If only the good die young, I will probably live forever."

Christianity, instead of praying on the innocent, gives hope to the hopeless and feeds and clothes the needy. They do attempt to give hope and faith to those who have been abused and taken advantage of, by funding homeless shelters and homes for abused women. How dare them!!

Christians Witness Too Much

This one cracks me up. Everybody witnesses too much. Pro-Choice people wax on about it being a women's body, and Pro-Life people say it's a life.. Those for guns constantly preach about their need while those for gun control witness about the damage they do in society. Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians, Anarchists, etc all witness on and on about their form of government/non-government being the best and why. 

Secularists, humanists, agnostics and atheists recently had a Reason Rally where the leaders in their fields witnessed about their beliefs and were encouraged those in attendance to destroy Christianity by mocking and ridiculing Christians. That sounds a lot like witnessing to me. It actually sounds more like hate mongering. The difference is that when I witness about my faith, I do so to give people hope not to destroy what hope they have. 

Christians are Arrogant

Christians believe that they and only they have the right answer. I really cannot argue there. Life is kind of that way as well, but we have become very politically correct and moved away from it. There is some gray in our world, but it is mostly a black and white world. We are fooling ourselves and due to that we have grown soft as a society.

Some schools are no longer giving failing grades, and the students can answer as many times as they need to in order to finally obtain the correct answer. Wait until they hit real life, and they see that in most situations there is a right and a wrong thing to do. If I play a round of golf and I say I shot a 82 and my partner says I shot an 86, one of us is right and the other is wrong. We cannot both be right. The same is true of our beliefs. 

Christians Believe Out of Ignorance/Blind Faith in a Delusional God

Actually, most Christians I know who were saved later in life believe in God due to a personal experience they have had. That is why I have faith there is a God, because of the changes in my life since my transformation from dealing dope to dealing hope.

I am also an analytical person. I need proof of things before I can say I believe in them. Apologetics has done that for me. I now can argue Christianty using history, science and philosophy among other things. Look up fine tuning and cosmological theory to find out more.

Christianity is Cruel and Violent

There have been many killed under the guise of Christianity. There have been many times over that number killed by atheists under the guise of communism. From Pol Pot to Mao to Stalin atheists have slaughtered millions. Nobel Prize winner Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn said, "the main cause of the ruinous revolution that swallowed up some 60 million of our (Russian) people, Men have forgotten God; that's why all this has happened."

I would ignore all of that and recommend that you go to any natural disaster the world over and see the outpouring from the Christian community. Go to many food pantries and see where the bulk of their contributions come from. In fact, most of them were started by Christians as individuals, their organizations or their churches. What a bunch of bullies! 

Christianity is anti-scientific and anti-intellectual

I will only defend this one with a small list of names: Allesandro Volta, Georg Ohm, James Prescott Joule, Lord Kelvin (Volt, Ohm, Joule and Kelvin units named after them), Louis Pasteur (Invented Pasteurization ), Gregor Mendel (father of modern genetics), Francis Collins (director of the National Human Genome Research Institute), Gerhard Ertl (Nobel Prize winner in Chemistry) and William Daniel Phillips (Nobel Prize Laureate in Physics).

Most of the books that I read once I got saved (and trust me going from where I was a decade ago to where I am now I was SAVED!) looked at science, history and philosophy to prove Christianity and they made valid points. I have listed several of them at the bottom. 

Christianity Causes Sexual Frustration

As an agnostic I slept with hundreds of women, literally. I am not bragging, simply being honest. I was in one short term relationship after another, frequently having multiple girlfriends at the same time. I tried to define myself by conquests, as I had no identity otherwise that I was fulfilled through.

I met a women a few months after I got saved, and we dated for over a year before we were married. We did not have sex until our wedding night, and it was amazing. I have been faithful to her and we have an amazing relationship based on more than our carnal desires because we instead focused on our friendship and developed respect for each other. I see her as my mate and not as an object. I am so much more fulfilled sexually now than when I was when I was agnostic. 

Christianity has a Narrow, Legalistic View of Morality

I agree, such a narrow view of morality. We are commanded to do two things above all other, love God and love our neighbors and treat them as we would wish to be treated. That is pretty narrow. Can you believe the concept of people treating everyone with the love and respect they themselves would like to be treated with. If people were to actually live their lives based on what is commonly known as "The Golden Rule" the world would be a much better place. 

In Closing

I am a reasonably intelligent person. I got clean after 20 years of substance abuse and more concussions than I can count on one hand. Before I started college I went to see a neuropsychologist and was told that I had an IQ of 129. I have since gotten an Associates, a double Bachelors in Psychology and Sociology and a Masters in Social Work all while maintaining a 3.79 GPA.

I had a thirst for knowledge most of my life, even in my addictions. I read voraciously because I wanted the religion that my parents believed in to be wrong due to the judgmental and hypocritical attitudes that I had seen from Christians. I was searching for something, though. I reached a point where I was completely drained of hope and knew that I would never stop abusing drugs and living my life the way I did. There was no point in living life by rules if I didn't have to, and as an agnostic I didn't have to. What was the worst thing that would happen? 

So I continue to live my life as an agnostic who was clinically depressed, overcome with the urge to fight while stealing and sleeping from and with anyone and everyone. I was hopeless and hurting and the best that I could hope for was to be numb and not feel and I found that I could do that through my various addictions. 

I tried everything at one point or another to overcome my addictions and my past: residential/outpatient treatment, psychotropic medication, counseling (LPC, psychiatrist, psychologist), jail, prison, house arrest, 12 Step meetings and eventually suicide all to no avail. The day I turned to prayer was the last day I: drank, took drugs other than those prescribed as prescribed, smoked a cigarette, had premarital sex and got into a fight outside of a ring. It was life changing. 

Yet I still had questions. I still had questions and doubts so I have continued to read and study. Here are some of the books I would recommend to you if you have doubts about what to believe:

1. The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel
2. The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel
3. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
4. What's So Amazing About Grace by Philip Yancey
5. Where is God When it Hurts by Philip Yancey 
6. Holman QuickSource Guide to Christian Apologetics by Doug Powell

All I know is that I used to destroy families and lives through the distribution and manufacturing of methamphetamine while reveling in breaking the law and using as many people as I came into contact with. Today I have found happiness in the form of hope. If that makes me a soft, delusional person than I am fine with that. This soft, delusional person has helped countless people get off of drugs, encouraged those who were living criminal lifestyles to get their GEDs and go to college by sharing what I have now with them.

Hi my name is David and I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ who has struggled in the past from the effects of being sexually, emotionally and physically abused as a youth, depression, anxiety, isolation, low self-esteem as well as addictions to drugs, alcohol, sex, violence, criminality, power and food. I have found a Better Life in Recovery and a better life through Christ and so can you.

Rahna Reiko Rizzuto - Hero or villian?

Last night DJ's (my son) grandpa Rick called and asked if he could pick him up to take him fishing this morning. I told Rick yes, and my son overheard. He had trouble falling asleep and then woke up repeatedly this morning asking each time, "Is papa Rick here to take me fishing yet?"

After Rick came to pick him up this morning, all I could think of is how lucky my son is to have a grandpa that actually wants to be a part of his life. I remembered how hurt I was when I did not see my dad for a year when my mom left him. The thoughts that I was not good enough to keep my dad in my life. I blamed myself for him not seeing me, and always wondered what I had done wrong that made him not want to be around me anymore. Little did I know at the time, but my mother had left state with us and not told my dad where we were.

I still carried that blame and did not work through it until I was well into my 30’s, even though I knew better. I swore that I would never do that to a kid. I knew the impact that it had on me. I began substance abuse and self-abuse while struggling with depression at an early age and it continued into my mid-30’s. Not going to say that it was the reason, but it helped to fuel the fire once it started. The damage that was done to me was horrific by that event. Horrific, and It was unforgiveable.

Now I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) who specializes in substance abuse, co-occuring disorder and family counseling. I see first hand the damage that is done to the children who have dads and moms not in their lives. I have a number of clients that are addicts today because they are still struggling with the questions I worked through in my 30’s: “Why am I not enough for you?” and “What can I do to change so you will love me and come back?” 


They are plagued by these questions because their parents aren’t in their lives and it kills them emotionally. Sometimes they put on the strong face and put up walls, but it hurts them severely! So today when I heard about Rahna Reiko Rizzuto I was shocked. Here is a women who had two children as well as a husband of 20 years, and decided that motherhood was not what she thought it would be. "I wanted to give myself more priority," Rahna says, so she left her husband and two children that were 3 and 5. 

She whines because she left her children and her friends would not talk to her because of it. That sounds amazing to me. Can you imagine her friends expecting her to be a parent to the children that she gave birth to? She says she now is able to pay attention to her kids in 5 or 6 hour blocks a couple of times a week. That is mighty big of her. Parenting when it is convenient. Further, can you imagine the pain it would cause to hear your mother on national television say that she never wanted to have you to begin with? We are not to have children for the joy that they give us, but the joy that we can give them. 


Now before every one jumps on the bash wagon, I want to applaud her for one thing. At least she gave birth to her sons and did not abort them. Now back to the point of this blog. She is up for a national book award for her book and has won previous awards?????? We are basically rewarding her for leaving her children. She can make a profit on the emotional/psychological harm she did her children by putting it in print! And some of you buy it??


Way to go Today Show, further praise her. I also like how she says that her children were not traumatized, and that they have the best of both worlds! She even says that their relationship has improved. I enjoy how she justifies her actions and tries to make herself feel good about what she has done. I would like to hear their opinion on it. From my experience in counseling, she has hurt them deeply.  


If this were a guy, we would not even be having this conversation. He would not be up for a book award or anything. In fact, we would call it business as usual. No courageous hero would he be called. I just do not understand why she is getting all of this credit. She is doing what any parent should do when the family splits up.......other than saying in books/blogs she has written and on the Today Show that she never wanted to give birth to your children. I guess that would be pretty rough. I imagine the kids at school are pretty mean to them with that kind of ammunition. 


How dare we make her feel like a saint. She is, just like any other parent who leaves their children because it is a hassle: self-centered, selfish and a bad parent. I would say the same thing if she was a he! We place no value on the family unit anymore. What saddens me is that she is lauded and called courageous and brave for what she did. 


No wonder our society is going down hill so fast. Suicide, murder, rape, abortion, divorce and substance abuse abound and a large part of that is because we are stepping away from family values. We live in a selfish, me first society. If I am not happy, I can just run away!! I don't have to be responsible for my actions. This is part of the great secularization of our country. Why should family values matter, if nothing matters? I imagine many would call a mother leaving her children and feeling good about it progress. If that is progress, I don't want it!