I Am Not Cured!

I try to stay out of most discussions that I see. I know that I can come across a little strong for some people’s tastes, and I am trying to build bridges between recovery and the community, not burn them. Occasionally, I hear something that I cannot help but address because there is a lack of knowledge in the statement and my desire is that all people have knowledge about addiction and recovery so that they can stop spreading misinformation, half-truths and faulty information. What someone had said was, “Addiction is not a disability because it can be cured. You can’t cure a disability.”

I wanted to scream, “YOU CANNOT CURE ADDICTION!!!” but I controlled the urge. Instead, I carefully thought out my reply. As someone in long-term recovery, I feel that it is my job to educate people and that generally needs to be done with carefully worded sentences. Too little and the point is not made, too much and you become offensive and the point is not heard. I had several questions pop into my head at once:

Can addiction be cured?

What does cured mean?

Am I cured?

Being cured to me means that I can use again. I know for a fact that I cannot use again. I have proven that to myself several times. I have quit using, and then relapsed. Each time that I relapsed, I thought that I could control my use. I was wrong, I lost control. I have discovered I was not and never will be cured. I can, however, control my addiction by not using. I don’t pick up. It is that easy. Okay, maybe not easy at times, but it is doable if you have the right supports.

So, how was I going to explain this without being abrasive and still get my point across? Then it hit me. I thought about one of my friends who is allergic to shellfish. By not eating shellfish, he was able to avoid the allergic reaction and not go into anaphylactic shock. As I thought about him, I realized I was ready to make my point and educate someone a little better about addiction and recovery.

“As someone in long-term recovery from addiction, I guarantee you that I am not cured. As someone who has worked with hundreds and encountered thousands of people struggling with addictions and in recovery I have yet to meet someone that was an addict or alcoholic that was cured of their addiction. I have over 5 years of recovery, but that is because I have not picked up and used. If I were to pick up and use again I would find out that I am still an addict. I am cured the same way someone who is allergic to shellfish is cured. They don’t eat shellfish; therefore they do not have allergic reactions. Just because they have not had that allergic reaction for 5, 10 or even 25 years does not mean that they can now eat shellfish. They will have that problem for life. The same is true for addiction. I cannot nor will I ever use again, because my addiction is controlled by not using but it is in no way cured!”

That was the conversation. It was understood and received well. I made my point and was civil in doing it. I helped educate a “normie” about addiction and recovery in a way that I never could have before. In my addiction, I would have yelled or bullied him into my way of thinking. Imagine a firehouse aimed at a tea cup, that was my way of dealing with problems in the past. Blast anything hard enough, and  the problem disappears. That is what recovery has done for me. I don’t have to yell or cuss to get my point across. Instead, I can use reason, logic and knowledge. It alienates less people and helps decimate some of the stigma surrounding addiction; that we are unable to change.

Never being cured is the conversation we need to have with each other because it is the truth. Thinking otherwise has killed handfuls of my friends and clients. We are not cured, instead our disease is controlled. It is the same with diabetes or food allergies. They can be controlled so that an amazingly productive life can be lived. Thinking of myself as cured could end the productive and joyous life I have built. I am better, but that does not mean that the devil I call addiction is not still in the back of my head. He is lifting weights, running on a treadmill and doing research on a computer getting stronger and smarter. To keep the life I have worked so hard to build, there are steps I must take.

I highly recommend the 5 Pillars of Recovery. With the help of the 5 Pillars, I have been clean and sober for over 5 years when in the past the longest I had stayed sober was for 3 months and 2 of that was residential treatment. The pillars are of upmost importance and here they are:

1. Higher Power- Mine is Jesus Christ. It must be something you can get forgiveness, validation, love and hope from.

2. Sponsor/Mentor - Find someone whose life you want and let them show you how they got it. This is your coach.

3. AccountabilityPartners- Think teammates who share the same goal you do, living an amazing life unencumbered by their hurts, habits and hang ups.

4. 12 Steps/The Bible- This is the game plan your sponsor will teach you so that you can live life to the fullest.

5. Meetings (Celebrate Recovery, AA, BA, Small Groups)- This is the locker room that prepares you for the game we call life.

There are other needs, such as prayer, meditation, community service and changing playgrounds and playmates. Apply the 5 Pillars and liberally apply them in your life and I GUARANTEE you can and will step into recovery!

 

P.S.- For those who are wondering, addiction is a disability. According to the American’s With Disabilities Act (ADA), “individuals who are addicted to drugs, have a history of addiction, or who are regarded as being addicted have an impairment under the law. In order for an individual's drug addiction to be considered a disability under the ADA, it would have to pose a substantial limitation on one or more major life activities.” So according to the government, addiction can be considered a disability. Recovery is a strength that only those who have struggled with disabilities have!