What Independence Day Means to Me (Mine is January 31st, and again on Easter)

The 4th of July is called Independence Day. It is the day that the United States declared that it would no longer be dependent on Great Britain. The United States, in the Declaration of Independence, told Great Britain that they would no longer be under their control. Most people, when they hear Independence Day automatically think of July 4th. I do not.

There is another date that comes to my mind when I hear the words Independence Day. The date that comes to my mind is January 31st, 2009. You see, when I hear independence my mind as one who is in recovery instantly defines that word. I think of no longer being dependent upon something to be able to function or exist. When I think of independence I think of recovery.

The word recovery was never part of my vocabulary. Not unless I was in a serious car accident or had overdosed, which I did frequently. It was not part of my language because I was what most would consider a lost cause, a lifer. I had been smoking cigarettes, using drugs/alcohol for over 25 years when 2009 rolled around. I was not really expected to change my ways. Most people had given up on me.

It was the same as pretty much every other year when 2009 started, yet at the same time it was really different. I had stopped shooting up in 2001, and had traded out my addiction to drugs for an addiction to alcohol. I could justify that. It was legal, and at least I wasn't doing drugs. Soon my drinking spiraled out of control and by 2009 I would wake up some nights with shakes and have to drink to make the shakes subside so that I could go back to sleep.

My addiction in 2009 was just as bad if not worse than it had ever been. It may have been legal, but I blacked out most nights and frequently drove home when I had no business walking. I am still amazed that I never killed anyone. In all, I have totaled 4 vehicles. The worst accident I had I flew a Firebird 97 feet and got 32 into the air before crashing into trees.  Plus, I was still smoking cigarettes, getting into fights, sleeping around, cussing and I was a very outspoken Agnostic.

There were some differences, though. I was a father, which had only happened two years earlier. My father was gone, having committed suicide in February of 2008. I was also fighting with my son's mother over visitation, which was rough. Finally, I had started going to church in Fall of 2008. That was different for me as church was also not in my vocabulary.

I would still adamantly tell you that I was Agnostic, but I was going to church because a couple that were the only friends I thought I had were going there and they had a recovery meeting that I could go to and be honest without seeing clients from the facility that I worked at. I was not going weekly, but I would go there once or twice a month. Then something happened, my Independence Day.

I had left a bar and was on my way home when a police car pulled behind me and began to follow me. He followed me through multiple turns and I began to make deals with God about me not getting pulled over and the things that I would do if He made me getting home safely a reality. Needless to say, He did and I have had to keep my part of the bargain. You can read about that experience here http://spiritualspackle.blogspot.com/2012/03/impact-that-im-not-who-i-was-by-brandon.html

There is a piece of the Declaration of Independence that also applies here. The founder's of our country said, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness." This really applies to all of us who are consumed with life controlling issues.

In my addiction, I had no true life or liberty. I was running from pain and depression, but the truth is without facing them I would never be happy. Freedom is now what you have to do, but what you don't have to do. I had to do drugs, had to drink, had to fight,  had to sleep around to feel better about myself and not feel physically ill.

That is just not a good direction for life, but I did not know any better. I did not know any better because I had lived my life with hope in nothing and no one but myself. Well, myself and my addictions. I would have told you that I was Agnostic but that wasn't really true. I had made addiction my god. It was the focus of my every waking thought. If I was not using, I was making plans to and looking forward to it all day.

There is no independence in that life, only dependence. Over the course of my addiction, I tried everything secular that I could find to no avail. Whether it was rehab, prison, 12 step meetings, counseling or medication I always relapsed sooner than later. The longest I went without use was a 3 month stint. That is including the first 30 days that I spent in a residential drug rehabilitation center.

The outcome was always the same, me using. Then one night I was desperate and I prayed to God to help me overcome my addictions. He has kept his part, and I have not smoked a cigarette, drank, used drugs, slept around or gotten into a fight since then. Phillipians 4:13 is right when it says "I can do all things through He who strengthens me." I am living proof.

I hope that you enjoy a great 4th,filled with baseball games, fireworks and BBQ to bless your day. But while you are enjoying your day I also hope you remember that as a Christian you have true independence. Thanks to the sacrifice of Christ you have freedom from sin and by proxy from death, since the wage of sin is death. This above all we must give thanks for.

So although July 4th is the national date that Americans celebrate their country's Independence on, we are not of this world. I appreciate the sacrifices that our troops made back then just as I appreciate the sacrifices that they make today. More than all of those, I appreciate the sacrifice that Christ made 2,000 years ago that bought me independence from death and the promise of everlasting life. I also am forever grateful for the Holy Spirit that has filled, guided and enabled me to stay abstinent since February 1st of 2009.