What is the difference between sobriety and recovery

I have many times had to explain the difference between sobriety and recovery to many people. It seems that to many people who claim to have never struggled with an addiction of any kind, they do not understand that the two are different. In one of the secular 12 step groups that I used to attend, they had a clever way of presenting the difference. 

"If you have a drunken horse thief and you sober him up, what do you have? You have a sober horse thief."

By this example, we see that although the alcohol is gone, the criminal lifestyle is still present. I have my own ways of looking at the difference. Even though I may have stopped engaging in whatever my life controlling issue might be, I still have behaviors that I engaged in that are not right. Some call them criminal behaviors, but I would call them moral issues that arise from self-esteem issues and not feeling that I deserve respect. When I do not respect myself, how can I show respect to others. 

I may have stopped cutting myself, but I still cannot tell the truth. I may not be struggling with my eating disorder, but I still cheat every time I am in a relationship. I may not be drinking, but I am still trying to start fights with every one who looks at me as I walk by them. I may not be doing drugs, but I can't complete a sentence without dropping an F-Bomb. I may not be sleeping with multiple partners, but I cannot stop watching pornography. The list could go on and on, but you get the point. 

Some of the most unhappy, angry people that I have ever met were at a 12 Step meeting. They claimed to have 15 years of recovery, but at best they were sober. They had never over came their moral issues. They are still wallowing in self-pity and selfishness. They have never gotten over the loss of the "one true love" of their habit of choice. They still reminisce about the good old days, reliving that high and hating that they can never allow themselves to have it again. 

So what can we do. First and foremost, get the big 4. Sponsor (mentor), meetings (small groups), accountability partners and work the 12 steps (live Christ-like). Those are the 4 that always need to be present in your life. Next, learn that community service is not something that your judge or a probation officer assigns you. The longer you are sober, the more you owe back to society. Be positive by always focusing on the positives and surrounding yourself with positive people. Start off each morning by making a list of things that you are grateful for to get the day started positively. 

So, to recap

1. Sponsor
2. Meetings
3. Accountability Partners
4. Work the Steps
5. Give Back
6. Be Positive
7. Be Grateful

I did forget to add a few things, and to me these are what made the difference. I had the sponsor, meetings, accountability partners and step work. I was even giving back, but I had no positivity or gratitude. To be honest, I was pessimistic always. I was Agnostic, and it kept me from finding the hope needed to step into recovery. I was still engaging in most of my moral deficits. I only overcame them through Christ. So to the above list I would add a few more. 

1. Pray without ceasing
2. Read the Bible daily
3. Listen for the still small voice of God to guide you and you will find that it is neither still nor small!!

Remember to stay eternally optimistic and lean on God, for He is great ALL OF THE TIME! After all, I can do all things through He who strengthens me!