What If God Answered Your Prayer (This is borrowed and humorous but true)

The Lord's Prayer (God's voice is Highlighted)

Our Father Who Art In Heaven .
Yes?
Don't interrupt me . I'm praying .
But -- you called  - ME!
Called you?
No, I didn't call you .
I'm praying . 

Our Father who art in Heaven .
There -- you did it again!
Did what?
Called ME .
You said,
"Our Father who art in Heaven"
Well, here I am . . . . What's on your mind?
But I didn't mean anything by it .
I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day .
I always say the Lord's Prayer .
It makes me feel good,
kind of like fulfilling a duty .
Well, all right .
Go on . 

Okay, Hallowed be thy name .
Hold it right there . What do you mean by that?
By what?
By "Hallowed be thy name"? 
It means, it means . . good grief,   
I don't know what it means .
How in the world should I know?
It's just a part of the prayer .
By the way, what does it mean? 
It means honored, holy, wonderful .
Hey, that makes sense . .   
I never thought about what 'hallowed' meant before .
Thanks . 

Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in Heaven .
Do you really mean that?
Sure, why not?
What are you doing about it?
Doing? Why, nothing, I guess . 
I just think it would be kind of neat if you got   
control, of everything down here like you have up   
there .   We're kinda in a mess down here you know .
Yes, I know; but, have I got control of you?
Well, I go to church .
That isn't what I asked you .
What about your bad temper?
You've really got a problem there, you know .
And then there's the way you spend 
your money -- all on yourself . And what about the kind of books you read ?
Now hold on just a minute!
Stop picking on me!
I'm just as good as some of the rest 
of those People at church! 
Excuse ME . .
I thought you were praying
for my will to be done .
If that is to happen,
it will have to start with the ones
who are praying for it . Like you -- for example .
Oh, all right . I guess I do have some hang-ups . 
Now that you mention it,
I could probably name some others .
So could I .
I haven't thought about it very much until now, 
but I really would like to cut out some of those things .
I would like to, you know, be really free .
Good .
Now we're getting somewhere . 
We'll work together -- You and  ME .  I'm proud of You .
Look, Lord, if you don't mind,
I need to finish up here .
This is taking a lot longer than it usually does . 

Give us this day, our daily bread .
You need to cut out the bread . . You're overweight as it is .
Hey, wait a minute! What is this?
Here I was doing my religious duty,
and all of a sudden you break in
and remind me of all my hang-ups .
Praying is a dangerous thing .
You just might get what you ask for .
Remember, you called ME -- and here I am .
It's too late to stop now .
Keep praying .   ( pause . . . ) Well, go on .
I'm scared to .
Scared? Of what?
I know what you'll say .
Try ME . 

Forgive us our sins, 
as we forgive those who sin against us . 
What about Ann?
See? I knew it!
I knew you would bring her up!
Why, Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories .
She never paid back the money she owes me .
I've sworn to get even with her!
But  -- your prayer --What about your prayer?
I didn't -- mean it . .
Well, at least you're honest .
But, it's quite a load carrying around all that  bitterness and resentment isn't it?
Yes, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even with her .
Boy, have I got some plans for her .
She'll wish she had never been born .
No, you won't feel any better .
You'll feel worse .
Revenge isn't sweet .
You know how unhappy you are -- Well, I can change that .
You can? How?
Forgive Ann .
Then, I'l l forgive you;
And the hate and the sin,
will be Ann's problem -- not yours .
You will have settled the problem as far as you are concerned .
Oh, you know, you're right .
You always are .
And more than I want revenge,
I want to be right with You . . (sigh) .
All right, all right . .
I forgive her .
How do you feel?
Hmmmm . Well, not bad .
Not bad at all!
In fact, I feel pretty great!
You know, I don't think I'll go to bed uptight tonight .
I haven't been getting much rest, you know .
Yeah, I know .
But, you're not through with your prayer, are you?  Go on . . . .
Oh, all right . 

And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil .
Good! Good! I'll do that .
Just don't put yourself in a place where you can be tempted .
What do you mean by that?
You know what I mean .
Yeah . I know .
Okay .
Go ahead . . . Finish your prayer . 

For Thine is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory forever .
Amen .
Do you know what would bring me glory --  What would really make me happy?
No, but I'd like to know .
I want to please you now . .
I've really made a mess of things . .
I want to truly follow you . . .
I can see now how great that would be .
So, tell me . . .
How do I make you happy?
YOU  just did .